Seeing In Black
by TGyamiBakura
Summary: Dean is pissed when Castiel returns after the leviathan debacle. Cas continues to work with the brothers to defeat Dick and his army, all while trying to earn Dean's forgiveness. Taking their relationship to new-much scarier levels, Dean and Cas find out the hard way the extent of God's wrath when Dean suddenly finds himself feeding for two.
1. Bless them that curse you

This is my first :posted: fanfic about a live action television show. In fact, there are a few firsties in this. This is also an mpreg— not for a good few chapters yet, don't worry, but I have never written one. I plan on doing it as. . . erm. . . Realistically(?) as it can get :D Please give it a shot. I would like feedback on how I handle it. This first chapter is written in Castiel's POV, but it won't remain that way. The majority of this fic will be written from Dean's.

**UPDATE:** This chapter is revamped and was originally written in present first person tense. I've updated it to past third because that's how the rest of the story is. I have made a few changes, but nothing very significant.

::

His name was Castiel, an angel of the Lord—Well, he was until he made the worst decision of his very existence. He couldn't consider himself an angel of the Lord any longer, for he defied Him and tried to take His name. Castiel had sinned in one of the very worst ways. He considered himself on the level of Lucifer at this point. He had veered so very far off the path of righteousness that the angel truly believed he should have been cast into Hell just as he was.

What he couldn't understand was why he was standing there on one of the many sidewalks of Minneapolis, snow falling around him and the bustling city not even aware of the fact that an abomination had suddenly appeared. Castiel assumed he must have been brought back from death by God or some other powerful being, for his Grace and wings were both perfectly functional. He should have been dead. God should have wanted him dead, but there he stood. The angel's vessel, Jimmy Novak was in one piece when he should have been in numerous. What became of the leviathans? Why wasn't he being punished? The situation was becoming more and more incomprehensible to him as he stood there, so Castiel decided that dwelling on it wouldn't get him anywhere. He briefly dug inside of his trench coat pocket to find his cellular phone. It wasn't destroyed and, as he soon discovered, was still in full service—another mystery the angel filed away in his mind to solve later.

He made to dial the first number that came to mind, his finger paused over the dial pad, remembering the things that had transpired before he died. Dean and Sam would surely want nothing to do with the angel anymore. Why should he expect them to want to continue communications with him after he betrayed them so? As he pondered this, he found that the phone was already ringing. Castiel must have finished dialing before he even realized it. Well, it wasn't like he'd pick up anyways—

". . .Cas?" Castiel was mistaken. The sound of the elder Winchester's voice caught him momentarily off-guard and his borrowed heart skipped a few beats. He felt several warm feelings wash over him, and at the moment the angel couldn't place them. For some reason those feelings were stronger than he'd ever felt them before.

"Hello, Dean, it's me."

"What the. . . Shit man what the fuck? You're alive?" Never did Castiel expect profanity to give him such a strong sense of relief.

"It is an occurrence most unexpected. Don't worry though, I understand if you no longer want anything to do with me. Regrettably, I'm sure I've destroyed all trust you had in me. You're probably pissed, as you humans say."

"You're damn straight I'm pissed! What the fuck Cas? If you show up here I'm gonna kick your feathery ass," Castiel heard the muffled voice of Sam shouting Dean's name, a struggle and then Sam's voice.

"Cas is it really you? Is it a dream? Get over here now, okay?"

"I assure you it's not a dream, and. . . you still have the carvings on your ribs,"

"Right. . . Well we're in Minnesota right now, We're at a Holiday Inn in downtown Minneapolis. We're in room 13," Castiel prepared to fly when he realized that he was standing right in front of the previously stated hotel. He was finding this exceedingly more suspicious the longer he was there. He was willing to let the fact that he was in the same state as the Winchesters pass for a coincidence, but that he was standing outside of the very hotel that they were staying in, well that was hard to ignore. It was becoming obvious that this was being orchestrated. Castiel had every inclination to believe that it was by the force that brought him here.

"I'm standing right in front of it. This is very baffling," And with that he flew, easily making his way through the concrete and plaster. He appeared in the room of the two boys, startling them both.

"Cas!" The younger Winchester was the first to move, trapping Castiel in a tight embrace. An uncomfortable feeling of guilt and pain washed over the angel as he looked at Dean over Sam's shoulder, arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He was again confused by his feelings. He wanted desperately to sort them out, but the man tightly wrapped around his form was monopolizing all of his attention. Sam spoke, his voice barely above a whisper."We really missed you, man. . ."

"I missed you too. Both of you. It feels like just yesterday I was parading around the world as "God" and trying to do His bidding, But I assume time has passed since then," Castiel stepped back and fell to his knees, bowing his head. "I owe you both, the world my sincerest apology, but even that isn't enough. I—"

"—Look, you're here now and you know that what you did was wrong, right?" Castiel nodded at Sam, his brow creasing. He didn't understand. "You're still one of us Cas, you're still family here. Team freewill and all that." Cas heard Dean snort bitterly, still brooding in the corner. He took Sam's proffered hand, righting himself and smoothing out his coat, his blue eyes never leaving Dean. The hunter looked so forlorn and it was all Castiel's fault. Sam looked at his brother and shook his head, looking back at Cas. "Just. . . Ignore him alright? He's-not dealt too well with the whole you dying thing, so try to cut him some slack," Castiel was baffled at how the brothers had completely thrown caution to the wind and let him back into their lives so openly and enthusiastically. . . Well Sam anyways. He couldn't really blame Dean for his hostility towards him. It wasn't like Castiel expected this reunion to be easy. After all Castiel had done? It was a wonder they were even talking to him? He didn't deserve forgiveness. "How have you been? What has happened while I was away?"

Sam filled him in on the takeover of the Leviathans, Dean staying silent the whole time. He didn't realize what a crushing force they would be, staging an absolute takeover using sheer intelligence in such a strategic way. The "Army of Dick" was growing stronger and more powerful every day, however the death of Bobby had been the turning point of it all and now the boys had a plan. They were still in mourning, he could sense, but he knew that their drive to defeat the Leviathans, or "Big mouths" as Dean would call them, came from Bobby's sacrifice. They wouldn't let his efforts to tell them the vital piece of information before he died be in vain.

"I vow to help you in any way that I can," Sam patted Castiel on the back, grinning from ear to ear, still in awe upon his appearance.

"I know you will dude," Sam pulled the angelin for a half-embrace. As he did so, Castiel met Dean's green eyes. They were filled with so much emotion that the angel had never heard him express. It was as though he was saying a thousand words with just his eyes. Inside there was pain, regret, and surprisingly longing. What Castiel would have given to peak into his thoughts right then, but he'd promised him long ago that he wouldn't do that again. Castiel intended to honor that promise.

::

Dean was a verbose, very clingy drunk, Castiel decided. A bottle of Jack Daniels later and both the Winchesters are inebriated beyond comprehensible thought. Dean had just started singing some 80's rock song at the top of his lungs, and Sam was crying his eyes out, muttering about how it was the most beautiful song in the world. Deans hooked his arm in Castiel's and attempted to stand them both up, apparently completely forgotten about his previous enmity towards the angel. He tripped and when he stumbled, Cas caught him mid-fall.

"Perhaps it is wiser to sit," He suggested, not really expecting him to listen. He found himself correct as Dean just fell into his chest, laughing loudly.

Sam had decided that now had been a good a time as ever to shove aside worries about who brought Castiel back from beyond and celebrate his return with copious amounts of alcohol. Castiel had a beer in his hand, but he didn't really care for it. For the angel to become adequately intoxicated, he would have to drink through at least two liquor stores. He didn't much care for alcohol just to drink it trivially.

"Oh man," Dean started, gripping onto the lapels of my coat. "'member when you were watchin' porn that one time an' got a boner? Shit was so funnnny!"

"I do recall watching the adult movie, the end result being arousal, if that is what you're inquiring, however, I do not find the humor in this event," Dean just howled louder.

"Dude, you got a boner! In a room fulla dudes! Tha's friggen h'larious!" Castiel looked at Dean in question.

"Why was it so?"

"'Cause yer an angel 'n you could be gay causa that, righ? Well 'less you were lookin' at th' chick's boobs, then thas prolly being straight but whatev'. . .don' care. Still thought it was fuckin' hot. . ."

"Hot? As in the temperature?"

"No. . . As in yer body. When ya stood up, I mean, cont'ry to pop'lar belief I can appreshiate a good lookin' dude." Dean's words slurred and it was becoming difficult to understand him. But, using a bit of Grace Castiel could read what his mind was trying to relay. Apparently, Dean was amused that Castiel, an angel of the Lord, was still able to achieve a state of arousal, and from porn no less, and in a room full of men. He also. . .

"You found me arousing?"

"I dunno. . . 'Kinda, It was somethin' I'd never felt before for a dude. . .Still duhno wha' to thin' of it. . ." To think that Dean Winchester could think of Castiel in a sexual way was completely preposterous. Dean, womanizer of womanizers, feeling romantically inclined to another male? It didn't bode well. The angel couldn't even comprehend it.

Suddenly, he was staring into green and he realized it was Dean, not two inches from his face. His eyes looked hazed with liquor but they were still the same deep green that they'd always been.

"Dude your eyes. . . so fuckin' blue," He said, as if seeing Castiel's eyes for the first time. Castiel felt his face get warm, the proximity for once, making him uncomfortable.

"Yes, I'm glad to see that you can still perceive colors," He tried to push Dean back but he just gets closer, so close that he could feel his alcohol tainted breath on his lips. Castiel quickly looked at the other brother, who had already passed out on the sofa, leaving Dean and him on one of the queen sized beds.

"No I mean like. . . fuckin' blue. . . I've missed it," Dean missed his eyes? Before the angel could ponder on the revelation, he could feel something poking him in the stomach and he looked down to see an obvious tenting in Dean's sweatpants. He was aroused. This was oddly. . . unnerving.

"Dean. . ." He said, cautiously, decidedly not looking into Dean's thoughts. He was sure he would be better off not seeing it, even though he could barely resist the temptation. Sober Dean wouldn't want him looking. He knew that much. "Why don't you lay down and get some sleep? It's late. . ."

"Jus' a minute. . . I wanna see sumthin'. . ." Dean pressed closer and closer until their lips were mashed together, Dean stumbling, unable to hold up his own weight. Dean's pelvis was ground against the angel's midsection, and he ground it harder, turning their lip mash into a sloppy, drunken kiss. Dean moaned into Cas's mouth, his breath hot and reeking whiskey but Castiel realized quickly that he didn't mind in the slightest.

He could feel the beginnings of arousal stir low in his belly and he knew this was starting to get dangerous. The feeling was stronger than it was even when he was powerless and Castiel wondered briefly why that was. He was still an angel and it took a lot for angels to become this aroused. A few sloppy kisses shouldn't have done this to him. His mouth opened so he could talk some sense into Dean, but suddenly his mind was numbed upon feeling Dean's tongue enter his mouth. After a few failed attempts he found Castiel's and tried to get it to react. Castiel was having a hard time denying him. His pants were becoming tighter with every drunken moan he felt against his mouth. Lust was a particularly sneaky sensation, the angel surmised, for it was very hard to control and came at the worst possible time.

His newfound erection was becoming uncomfortable with Dean's weight on it and Castiel tried to shift them into a more accommodating position. Their waists ground together by accident, eliciting a sultry moan from the other man that shot like a bolt of lightning down the angel's spine and all the way to his cock.

"Mmm. . . Cas," Dean started slowly, clumsily rocking against him, rubbing their cocks together, making the angel's face heat up, his breath coming out shortly in pants. Castiel had never been touched like this before. Dean's face, his voice, his touch. All of it was turning on responses the angel didn't even know he had.

"Damn it, Dean. . ." Frustration gathered tightly in his brow. He couldn't seem to shake the haze of arousal from his senses. Dean was being very. . . enticing, even as inebriated as he is. His moaning was growing louder and breathing more ragged and if Dean didn't stop, Castiel didn't know what would happen.

"God. . . Feels good. I missed you. . ." Castiel's heart swelled and he felt arms wrap around his neck as Dean ground himself harder against him, his hot breath ghosting over Cas's neck. Sounds were escaping his mouth that he'd never given permission. This closeness. . . The feel of Dean Winchester just everywhere. It was indefinable. Dean was right about one thing, it felt very, very good. "Uhn. . . Cas Im'unna. . ." The Winchester started rolling his hips into Castiel's faster, making the angel grip the sheets beneath as the pleasure spiked. Dean pressed their lips together again moaning into Castiel's mouth. Castiel kissed back, sucking on the hunter's tongue wrapping his fingers around his waist, meeting his desperate thrusts. Words failed Castiel as the pleasurable sensations exploded inside his brain. Dean's voice was strangled and breathy as they kissed, his hips jerking out of rhythm.

Suddenly the motion halted. Castiel tried to bury the niggling feeling of disappointment as Dean slumped against him, boneless. It wasn't even a minute before Castiel heard light snoring and he sighed, still sporting a painful erection. He rolled Dean onto the bed, suddenly noticing the obvious stain on the front of his pants, realizing that he just achieved orgasm. Castiel's face seemingly burst into flames and his erection throbbed painfully in the confines of his pants. He was unsure of what to do about this situation. He knew the mechanics of sex, but one needed to be conscious to do it, and doing it in Dean's drunken state, well that would be like rape.

There was also masturbation, but Castiel was rather unfamiliar with this act. However, the painful throbbing between his legs was there and it didn't seem to be dissipating any time soon. He had to dosomething. This was much worse than the time he'd first experienced pornography.

He tried to will it away with Grace, but that only seemed to make the need even stronger than before. Castiel winced as he stiffly walked to the other bed. He was going to have to try it. There was nothing else he could think of.

He settled into the bed, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his pants, freeing the hot hardness that was Jimmy Novak's phallus. It was sporting an angry purplish hue and Castiel didn't think he could wait any longer. He wrapped his hand unsurely around it, trying to remember the mechanics of this, and gently rubbed it up and down as it was quite sensitive at the moment. Castiel imagined that if he were not careful it would hurt a great deal.

But the rubbing alone didn't do anything. Why wasn't it working. . .? He'd read about human masturbation and it was a fairly simple process but. . .

Right, the thoughts. One had to be thinking about arousing things while doing it or it wouldn't work.

Arousing things. . . There was the pizza man. . . But that's wasn't arousing Castiel at the moment. What had gotten him into this state was the man laying on the other bed, snoozing. But for some strange reason Castiel felt guilty at the thought of committing this act while thinking about him. Especially when he was not even six feet away from him. Not after the lewd, drunken act Dean had just performed with him. . .

Suddenly Castiel felt a sharp sensation of pleasure at the memory, much like that of which was felt on the other bed. He supposed he would have to shove his guilt aside for now and dwell on it later. The need was suffocating. His grip tightened on his penis, rubbing slowly up and down as he thought about Dean's hot, perspiring body pressing tightly against his, his cock rubbing against him as lewd sounds spilled from his pink, full lips as he sought his climax. . .

The lewed images, the dirty words in his mind painted him a picture that seemed much more obscene than it had been in real life. Castiel's mouth opened emitting completely unnecessary, yet necessary gasp at the thought. Dean was a very attractive human, Castiel decided. He was intrigued at how his aroused state of mind was just intensifying every attractive feature he had. From his long eyelashes to sun-kissed, freckled skin, Dean looked flawless in the angel's mind, even though in reality he knew how worn the hunter was to the core. Through Castiel's sexual haze, He could see nothing but perfection.

Suddenly the illusory Dean in his mind moved from his lap and started to crawl down, kissing the angel's body as he doid so. Castiel thought briefly to the adult film he'd watched and he realized that he'd stolen this scenario from there and replaced the woman with Dean. He trembled in anticipation as he realized what was coming next.

Deans fingers had moved to his groin, petting Castiel's erection idly, looking up at him and smirking. Castiel mimicked the action in his mind with his own hand, making it feel like Dean was actually doing it. Such a wild deception, masturbation was, yet so sensory and powerful.

"Dean. . ." Castiel couldn't help but mutter, His voice was low and raspy and foreign to himself but he didn't really care at the moment. Castiel wanted. . . He wanted Dean to make him feel it. Feel everything. Castiel wanted to know what an orgasm was like.

And suddenly the haze cleared and Castiel realized that this was something big. This was something special, and he-he didn't want to spend this significant mile stone of his experience in humanity alone and have it go unnoticed. He would prefer to share this with someone close to him. Doing it by himself seemed a bit. . . was lonesome the word he was looking for?

Castiel's eyes dart to Dean who was currently in a deep drunken slumber on the other bed. If he had to choose, he would want it to be with him. But that didn't really seem possible unless he was intoxicated, and as Castiel noted before, that would be almost as if he were forcing himself on Dean. Even if Castiel were to-engage in indiscretions with Dean Winchester, the angel would want him to be rapt and alert all the while.

While speculating on this, Castiel's erection seemed to have become more. . . manageable and he was able to calm his senses. That was it. Castiel wouldn't engage in sexual acts unless it was with Dean Winchester, fully attentive and willing-which would never happen, but it was what the angel decided. Thinking about doing it alone was actually having a negative effect on the arousal and soon he was free to fly away and ponder on these new emotions he'd experienced that night.

Castiel took his leave in hope that someday, Dean will stop hating him.


	2. Angel Smiles Fix Broodiness

**Retribution**

**a/n: **The rest of this story will mostly be written from Dean's POV, seeing as Cas doesn't think in naughty words or slang and it's too much of a headache to write. I might give him a chapter or two down the line to get his thoughts on some of the situations that take place in the future, but that's it. AND THANK YOU! I was surprised to see so many 'Story Alert' notices in my inbox over the past few days, not so many reviews but I still know that you guys are liking it! Thanks so much it makes me giddy! Oh and before I forget to mention again. . .

**THIS BOOK IS JUST ONE BIG SPOILER FOR SEASON 7 AND ALL PREVIOUS SEASONS. . . **just in case you were completely oblivious o.o;

**Rating: M**

**Chapter warning(s): **Language, slash, . Mentions of dry humping and the like. Written form Dean's POV. Future warnings will be in future chapters. Angst and lots and lots of **FEELINGS**. . .also mistakes, cause I suxorz at writingz

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Supernatural. I promise. O.o;

**CH. 2 **Angel smiles fix broodiness

**::**

Dean squinted as the sun brightly leaked through the blinds of the window on the other side of the room. He couldn't decide what was more uncomfortable, the throbbing pain in his noggin, or the twisting nausea in his gut. He groaned and sat up, opening his eyes against his better judgment. Beer cans and empty bottles of whiskey lay in wake of the previous night and Sam, slumped over the love seat, didn't seem to be rising anytime soon. He looked to the left to find that their other companion had, not-so-figuratively flown the coop. Dean shook his head, immediately regretting it as it felt like a dagger assault. He opened his eyes and jumped back ever so gracefully as he was met with intense blue.

"Jesus _Christ_ Cas, don't _do_ that! You scared the piss out of me. Almost literally…"

"Forgive me Dean. I did not mean to startle you."

"Whatever, just try not to instantly appear… So instantly?" Cas tilted his head, confused. Hell, _Dean_ was confused, but he made no claims to rational thought with a hangover of this magnitude.

"I have pain reliever and water." Cas held out two Tylenol and a cup of water and Dean couldn't have been more grateful.

"You're a lifesaver man."

"On the correct occasion, I would try to save as many lives as I can, however that does not pertain to this situation," Dean twitched, not even trying to comprehend what was just said.

"I meant "thank you," and right now… _small_ words. Please."

"Right." Dean downed the pills and the water, patting Cas on the head.

"Good boy. So…" Dean's eyes widened. He just remembered what put him in this state. Many, _many_ shots of whiskey and a lot of singing and… Wait a sec… "Last night I…" Suddenly flashes of the previous night assaulted him. Drunken kissing, grinding and a lot of fucking blue. The same blue that was now staring so intently at him…

He gaped at Cas. No way… No _fucking_ way! With Cas? And a _dude_ at that! This couldn't be happening. There was no fucking way. He looked at Cas in horror, as though seeing him for the first time. "L-Last night I… You… _We_. . ?" Dean pointed from himself to Cas in unintelligible question, not knowing how to word it. Cas tilted his head in thought, trying to decipher the action. After a moment, realization flashed on his features.

"Are you inquiring about the indiscretion that occurred between us last night?"

"In-indiscretion. . .?" Dean was quickly growing more and more horrified with each passing second, the knowledge of what took place quickly flooding back into his mind, making his headache grow worse. He winced.

"Right, small words. In other words, you mean when you dry humped me and achieved orgasm," He paused looking curiously at the hunter who was currently having an inner meltdown. "Dean you seem to have suddenly become distressed. Is dry humping the correct term for what you did to me?" Dean slapped his hand over Castiel's mouth in utter mortification. Could he just die now?

Dean bit out in a harsh whisper, "Will you quit it with the dry hump talk, for cryin' out loud? You're gonna make my hair fall out!" Cas nodded and Dean removed his hand. Castiel looked more confused than ever. Dean gripped his temple in frustration.

"This never happened," Cas, raised his eyebrows, shrugging.

"Actually, it di—"

"—We're gonna _pretend_ that it _didn't. _Got that?" Cas tilted his head looking uncertain, saying in his usual monotone voice.

"Shouldn't we at least talk about i—" Dean raised his finger, Cas shut his mouth.

"No," Dean said, as though scolding a child. "We should _never_ 'talk about it', Cas. Understand?" Cas nodded, furrowing his brow and looking away. He obviously still didn't understand _why_ they shouldn't "talk about it", but Dean really didn't feel like explaining. He was having a hard enough time just dealing with the memory. He was trying to lock it away, never to be seen again, but it was hard with those damn eyes of Castiel's boring into him so intently, reminiscent of the previous night. Dean shuddered at the memory again mortified upon the realization he was getting turned on just thinking about it.

"Dean, are you alright?" The angel was two inches away from his face which wasn't helping anything. He sighed, trying to get his mind off of things.

"Look, man, will you just give me some space here? I need to shower and get my head on straight."

"It looks straight to me, Dean." Cas stated, completely serious. Dean's eye twitched.

"Just get outta here!" And with a brief flurry of wings, he was gone. Freakin' angels.

Dean ran a hand through his short hair as he stood carefully, trying not to stumble. He went over to Sam and shook him by the shoulder, causing him to jerk into awareness.

"Rise n' shine princess, coffee's on." Sam squinted groggily, obviously sharing Dean's sentiments that the sun could just go and screw itself.

"Dean…? Wh-what happened?" Dean raised his eyebrows in amusement, a smirk playing at his lips.

"A lot of Jackie D and 80's songs, baby bro'"

::

"Ok so this is Bibbing a Big Mouth 101," Sam stated as Cas sat in front of him, holding a bib with a lobster on it. Cas looked completely clueless.

"Bibbing…"

"It's the term the Leviathans use when concerning compelling a fellow Leviathan to eat itself, we… didn't know what else to call it," He finished lamely. Dean snorted, not impressed by Sam's explanation.

"For some reason the Big Mouths put a bib on the one in question and it forces it to eat itself, it's strange and doesn't make a whole lot of sense but this is the best we got. Now the question is; What is it? How do we, the humans bib a Leviathan. I mean we can't really just bib one in its sleep, 'cause well, they don't sleep. So what do we do?"

"Spy on them." Cas stated.

"Yes, however we've discovered that "Bibbing" is not commonplace amongst the big mouths. They don't easily turn on each other. The only one who's ever seen an actual "Bibbing" is Bobby, and well… Thus our predicament."

"Well I can watch and tell you what I find out. I can also test if my Grace is effective against them,"

"It'd be risky Cas. We shouldn't rush into the lion's den without backup."

"It would be too risky to involve others Sam; I'm better off doing this alone—" Dean picked this moment to add his two cents.

"Yeah Sam, remember? Cause doing things by himself seemed to work out _so_ well for him before" Dean chided sarcastically, still bitter about the events that led up to Cas's death. Cas fixed him with a hard stare and Sam looked at him warningly. He shrugged. "Just sayin',"

"Well it's a good thing you're the one going with him since you're being a bag of sunshine about it and all,"

"_Excuse_ me? Why do I have to go with him?" Dean said, not liking this turn of events at all.

"If you haven't forgotten, Lucifer is still messing with my head and for all I know you both are just an illusion to me created by him," Dean's expression steeled into seriousness at the mention of Sam's mental health.

"Sam, don't talk about it like Lucifer is actually there," Sam shrugged, looking slightly annoyed.

"See that's the problem, it's as real to me as you or Cas is. I can't be dependable in this condition, and sending Cas out there alone is like giving hard candy to a newborn, it could be fine or it could just choke to death." Sam put his hands on his brother's shoulders, forcing him to look. "At least you know how to fight off the bastards, and I don't know about you, Dean, but I don't want to go through losing Cas again," Dean tried to deny his brother as hard as he could but eventually he looked away, signaling that the victory was Sam's.

"If we do this, we're gonna be prepared," Dean said, still not looking at Cas. Sam smirked, clapping his brother on the shoulder and moving away to get things set up.

Friggen' Sam. . . . Now really wasn't the time to play the adult and make the children get along. Dean could feel every look the angel gave him. How was he supposed to concentrate on anything with the knowledge of what happened? He could deny it all he wanted and convince himself it was just a drunken mistake. That he must have had it in his mind that Castiel was some chick he'd picked up. He could tell himself that, but reality was that this whole "Indiscretion", as Cas had so eloquently put it, was really affecting his game. He'd constantly be wondering what Castiel was thinking. If his mind went back to it as much as Dean's did.

Dean was never one to _willingly_ deal with his emotional struggles, but damn if he couldn't get that stupid angel out of his head! He was always _there_ and stoic and silent unless he absolutely needed to be, just like always, but it set Dean Winchester's nerves on _fire_ just being in the man's presence. Sometimes there eyes would meet, green on ocean blue and suddenly his mouth would go dry as he realized that it wasn't a dream and Castiel was _there _and Dean had missed him so _fucking_ much.

His heart was dancing in his chest, knowing that Cas was alive and wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon.

And it was really starting to freak him right the fuck out.

He looked at Cas, his staple trench coat and blue tie and all. The angel wasn't any different than he had been when they first met. Could one drunken night really change his feelings all that much?

Dean had always been straight. Nobody questioned this truth any more than they questioned that the grass was green. It was fucking commonplace. He'd 'copulated' with countless females in the past 15 years of his life. Not once had he had even a remote romantic feeling for a male. Or so he had thought. . .

From the moment they met, Dean couldn't deny that he'd felt that they had an unmistakable connection. Castiel had raised him from Hell for cryin' out loud! He touched his right shoulder almost absently, recalling the 40 years he'd spent in the Pit and then to suddenly be set free, Castiel's face was like looking at God himself. He felt as though he owed Cas more than anything he could ever give him.

He was mad at him right now, sure. Cas made some stupid decisions, had basically betrayed them and almost got everybody killed, he definitely had some brownie points to make up with the Winchester Brothers.

It wasn't something, however, that Dean couldn't find it in himself to forgive. It was just easier for Dean to handle, throwing in a snarky comment every now and then, letting Cas know that it wasn't going to be easy to get back on his good side. But the truth was that Dean was so happy to see him, to know he was alive and back on the good side. Seeing the angel's face had been like a breath of fresh air. Cas was, all cheesiness aside, Dean's savior after all. The person Dean had trusted the most next to Sam. He was friggen' _family_.

Like a brother. . .? No. . . It wasn't quite that either.

Dean furrowed his brow, confused even more by his thoughts. Eventually he just decided to do what he did best and _not_ think about it until he was pretty much forced to do it again. As far as he knew he'd be in the clear for a while. Cas wouldn't talk about it, if he took what Dean said seriously. Dean smiled at that. Cas wasn't great at acting human, but he did his best every day. He took every suggestion in stride and performed to the best of his ability.

It was that earnest hard work from the angel that was endlessly heartwarming to Dean. He couldn't stop a small smile from playing on his lips at the thought.

::

Side-along angel invisibility wasn't, as Dean previously thought, a simple feat, Cas informed him. To perform the action, Cas apparently used an ample amount of Grace, and thus couldn't use it to hide all of his angel form during the process. Cas said this would only work if Dean was able to look upon his wings without going blind, for that would be the easiest to look upon and concealing everything else would be simple enough seeing as he had a vessel. Dean remarked how it'd been impossible to look at Cas in his angel form before. He had felt as though his head were about to burst. Cas nodded, saying that those with the inability to look upon an angel could train their senses to be able to take in its true form.

Cas assured him that it was possible to train yourself to see an angel, even in it's entirety. But it would take time. Sam said they wouldn't have a lot though, because once the Leviathans started to move, so would they. He had no way of knowing how long it would take for that to start happening.

As far as they knew, the Leviathans were laying low, probably further growing their army so that would give them at least a little time to train Dean to See, as Cas put it.

"So how do we train?" Dean asked, ready to get this over with. How hard could it be to look at wings? They were just like a big feathery bird's right?

"Well, that's the difficult part. The humans with the power to See must have a bond previously formed with the angel in question. They have to be connected in some way," Dean again subconsciously reached for his shoulder, realizing what he was doing and pulled his hand back.

"Well, I still have that hand-print on my shoulder from when you plucked me outta Hell," Castiel nodded, thinking hard before speaking again.

"Well that's part of it, but they also must have an emotional bond," Dean bit his lip, forcing himself to not mention the fact that they were like family. He was still mad at the angel, so he didn't want to give him any clue that he'd forgiven him yet. Instead he bit out something sarcastic.

"Well angels don't have emotions, so how would that even work?" Castiel narrowed his eyes, searching Dean's face and then spoke again, his voice more gravelly than before.

"We have emotions, Dean, they're just not as prominent as human ones. You know this," Dean snorted, turning his head.

"Whatever. This obviously ain't even gonna work 'cause I'm as far from an emotional bond with you as I'm gonna get,"

"I disagree. In fact I suspect you could see my wings now. Not all the way, perhaps but somewhat," Dean sneered, anger burning in his heart.

"What do you know? After you abandoned me like that, I lost all trust in you, Cas. I couldn't feel farther away from you than I do now," He stood up, balling his fists. Castiel stood up too, going closer to Dean, not even an ounce afraid that Dean might punch him, knowing he'd just shatter his fist if he really went for it. He took Deans wrist, squeezing it tightly. Dean looked at Sam, feeling nervousness creep up his spine. Cas was too close and Sam was watching. He felt his face heat up and he looked determinedly away from anything that wasn't Castiel's eyes.

Suddenly, as though feeling Dean's discomfort, Castiel zapped them into a park that must have been nearby. No Sam to be seen.

"For that, I'm profoundly sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness, I know this, but if we want to do this we must cooperate with each other for the time being," Dean almost spat how he didn't _want_ to do this at all but he was cut off before he could. "I know you feel betrayed, Dean and I will make it up to you in any way that I can. For now," Cas took Dean's right shoulder, holding onto it tightly, forcing him to look into his endless blue eyes. Dean felt his breath hitch in his throat. "Will you work with me? Try having an open mind when we attempt this. I don't want you to get hurt," Dean bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to scream that Cas had already hurt him, but that would just be way too girly. He jerked away, his shoulder burning from the contact and memories from the night before flooding back into his mind, and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with," Cas sat down on the bench nearby, gripping his knees with his hands, looking tense as though thinking very deeply. Dean took it as his cue to sit down next to him, decidedly as far as he could get from the other. He waited for Castiel to speak which wasn't long.

"We'll need to seclude ourselves somewhat. We can't have outside distractions as we form this bond. But first I'll need to see how far you are progressing. I'll make my wings visible to you as slowly as I possibly can. Please let me know when it starts to feel uncomfortable," Dean nodded and Castiel stood again, a few feet from Dean and suddenly there was a bout of wind, Castiel's trench coat billowing about as his Grace made its presence known.

Dean gripped the park bench, trying not to instinctively close his eyes as a bright white light folded around the angel before him, he could start to see a definite shape of giant objects appear on either side of Cas, it didn't hurt at all, even as they became more defined, the outline of feathers, starting to fade into the picture. They were definite, but strangely translucent. He could see them shifting together, like liquid silk as they unfurled around Castiel, easily the length of two people on each side. Massive and beautiful, Dean thought in awe, as though seeing the ocean on a sunny day.

Suddenly there was pain. A lot of it.

Dark browns and blacks, and specks of gold started swirling in his senses and the bright light became stronger, hotter, more intense and the ringing in Dean's ears started to make itself apparent and he gripped his head in agony, as though every last one of his senses caught fire. His mouth was open but he couldn't hear his own screaming, the ringing was too loud.

And then, like it had never happened, it all stopped in an instant. Castiel was instantly at Dean's side, allowing him to slump against him. Dean gasped deeply, able to open his eyes again and he looked at Castiel's face, heart stopping at the bright smile plastered on it. He'd never seen something so beautiful aside from the wings he'd just seen now.

"You're over half-way there. You can see me. . . It feels strangely. . . Pleasant to know this," Dean was speechless and he still couldn't look away from Castiel's smiling face. Dean knew that Castiel's vessel was attractive, anybody could see that. But it wasn't Jimmy Novak that created that perfect work of art when Castiel smiled. No there was something absolutely ethereal about it, maybe it was some of his Grace not perfectly concealed or something that made Cas so. . . _breathtaking_, but Dean was starting to get the inkling it was just Cas's smile, surreal as it was.

"You're beautiful. . ." He mumbled, not aware he was saying it until the words had already escaped his mouth. He gaped in horror at the realization of what he just said. Castiel blinked, obviously caught off guard as wel.

"I'm. . .beautiful?" He asked, unsurely. Dean shook his head.

"Just forget what I said, Something's wrong with my head,"

"It's not on straight again?" Dean almost smiled, charmed by Cas's naiveté. He was glad Cas was oblivious to most things, or there would be so many more awkward moments when Dean did or said something embarrassing.

He was doing that a lot lately.

"Something like that," Cas looked at him, his gaze penetrating and Dean's breath once again was taken away for he'd never seen those eyes so full of emotion before. Castiel's voice was the usual low monotone and it didn't match his eyes one bit.

"I think you're beautiful too, Dean," Dean once again felt his mouth go dry, his cheeks instantly set aflame. Suddenly words failed him. He stood up, definitely feeling awkward now.

"I-I don't know about you but I could go for a big fat cheeseburger. Wanna zap us to the nearest burger joint?" He laughed nervously. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Did Castiel even know what he just said? Hell did _Dean_ realize what he, himself had just said? What the hell was going on? Why was he saying this kind of girly shit to a _dude_? Why couldn't he control his actions around this guy? Ever since what happened—he wouldn't mention it because it was just to mortifying to even think about—but ever since, he'd been really, _really_ off. Now he was even word vomiting the most embarrassing things about Cas—a _male!_ A male _angel _at that. It was unnerving. It was just getting too freakin' weird.

So Dean Winchester did what Dean Winchester did best when things got too weird for him and shoved those thoughts away. Not to be revisited until further notice. Perhaps he would find a hot chick to screw. Dean smiled at the simplicity of it. He sure did like simple things.

"Er, concerning the results of today's experiment," Cas started, a bit awkwardly. "I don't think it will take more than a couple weeks to be ready to try side-along invisibility with you. You've. . . progressed well since we first met," If Dean didn't know better, he could swear he saw red tinting the angel's cheeks. But he knew better so of course that wasn't the case.

It wouldn't be the case. Dean wouldn't even consider the implications if it were.

::

**a/n**: Ah, the end of installment number two. I absolutely love seeing Dean in mental anguish, don't you? Stay tuned as next episode, Cas and Dean adjust to living in each other's constant presence! Please review, my lovelies, it makes me write more! **:chucks rainbows smiling sexy angels at you:**


	3. Inescapeable You

**Ch. 3 Inescapable you**

**a/n: Thanks again for the lovely reviews you guys!** I'm really glad people aren't too deterred by the mpreg factor. If it does squick you a bit, I promise that Dean, angry and pregnant against his will will be _endless_ entertainment? :P I also forgot to mention the narrative change in Chapter 2, I like writing first person present tense narratives, but it's much easier to write this way since things will be going on outside of Dean and Castiel's POV. I could have changed it to a third person subjective narrative in the first chapter, but alas I was lazy. . . So forgive and if you haven't noticed, I like leaving authors notes. The only important stuffs are in bold really, so you can skip this if you want! :P

**Chapter warning(s): **** Language, Fluff, and slight voyeurism. Fictional views on Creationism.**

**Disclaimer: I own no Supernatural, only Kripke and the CW do and for the love of God sir, stop killing Castiel! The views and beliefs on religion in this work are created purely for fictional purposes only. They are in no way a reflection of Eric Kripke, CW, or my own beliefs. **

**Oh yeah, is it ok if I just pretend that Gabriel didn't die. . .?**

Tensions were running high with Dean and Castiel with their new living arrangements, well mainly Dean was the one who was tense, but Cas was clearly starting to get impatient with Dean's attitude towards him. Castiel had suggested that they be moderately secluded as they needed time to, "strengthen their bond" as Cas infuriatingly persisted calling it so. Dean was not keen on phrasing it that way or secluding himself with Cas on any level, alas there he ended up, renting a private hotel room with the angel, standing awkwardly as they booked it. The clerk kept passing them annoying _knowing_ glances. Dean felt like kicking a puppy.

"That will be room 14, it's a suite with a hot tub. There are. . . Privacy notices in the drawer," She smirked, wiggling her brow and Dean wanted to throttle her for not having any shame at all. He glared daggers at her instead and took his key, stomping away from the counter and upstairs toward the room. Giving the angel a key as well, the clerk looked at Castiel in question at the behavior his roommate showed.

"He's been very. . . _frustrated _as of late. He wants to hurry up and get it done with so he can get back to his normal routine," The girl nodded in understanding, reaching out to pat Cas on the shoulder.

"Ask for a warm sheet before you do it, it should relax him and darling, and it'll be as easy as pie," She winked and Castiel nodded, taking her suggestion seriously, completely missing the innuendo.

Dean ended up on his bed and sulking like a five year old, when Cas walked in, making it clear that he wasn't doing this willingly to any degree whatsoever. He made sure to take the bed farthest from the window because he was currently not on great terms with the sun. Not that it mattered, because Dean decided he would never get drunk again. Not after what happened. He shuddered, almost allowing the memory to flood back into his head, but he stopped it just before it got to anything too disturbing.

"You got me captive here in this room, so now what's gonna happen? We have some girl talk and paint our toenails?"

"We don't have any paint to do such an act, but perhaps we could find some? I don't know how painting toenails will help anything, but I'm open to ideas," Dean rolled his eyes as Cas was completely sincere. He didn't know whether to find the clueless angel annoying or freakin' adorable.

. . . _Not_ adorable because Dean Winchester would never think something like that. _Ever_. . .

"So basically, you don't know anything," Dean threw up his hands in frustration, grabbing the back of his neck and looking around, getting off the bed. He hated twiddling his thumbs. "Great. We're flying blind here, you gotta give me_ something_, Cas,"

"Well, perhaps we can start by living a normal few days, with no hunting, spending most of our time in each other's presence," Dean pinched his nose, frustration threatening to overwhelm him again.

"What, like, just eating together and stuff?"

"Essentially," Cas walked closer. "We should try to be around each other as often as possible. Any contact we have together will only strengthen the bond," Dean refused to acknowledge that his left shoulder itched just a bit at that word.

"Right, just stop talking about it like that. It's creeping me out," Cas nodded, looking a bit confused but didn't say anything more on the subject. Dean couldn't help but feel a bit guilty, he was really being pig headed about the whole thing so far and Cas was only trying to do his best to make this work. Dean was mad at him, but he could only be so much of a douchebag. "Look, maybe let's just go grab a bite or something. I'm really craving some pie right now,"

"Pie is the food that you so much desire on a regular basis, correct? I'm looking forward to it, I've never tried it."

"You've never had apple pie? You've known me for like two years and you've _never_ had pie? _Seriously_?" Castiel just shook his head, not understanding the gravity of the situation.

"I've never had the opportunity to just sit down and try things like. . . pie," Dean furrowed his brow, never realizing just how utterly _boring_ an angel's existence was. No sex, no guitar hero and no _pie_ of all things! Poor bastards didn't even have any incentive to eat anything at all. Silently, Dean promised that he would try to help Castiel experience the some of the awesome sides of this world within these next two weeks.

God knew the angel needed to make some good memories once in a while.

::

"What can I get you good looking fellas today?" Dean looked up abruptly into very perky and seemingly chilly boobs, tightly constricted by a tank top that was probably made for little kids and his mouth fell, suddenly he realized he should probably look a bit more north and founding him looking into the deep blue eyes of a smiling brunette.

"Ah, I need some house special made apple pie for my friend here," The waitress smiled, all flirty like, her eyes just eating the eldest Winchester right up.

"And what can I get for _you? _You can have anything you like," She said, an obvious hint of suggestion in her tone. Dean smirked, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, for now you can get me one of those famous New York Cheeseblisters I hear about. I'm sure I can think of something else too," Dean grinned, realizing it'd been a long while since he last hooked up.

"I'll be back in a bit, gentlemen,"

"That waitress wants to fornicate with you," Castiel stated, flatly.

"Yep, not surprised. Ol' Dean's still got it," Dean said, no hiding the smugness in his voice, yet, if Dean didn't know better, he could have sworn Castiel was sitting there and. . . _brooding_.

"It would not be favorable," Dean raised an eyebrow.

"What wouldn't be favorable?" Cas snapped back quickly, making Dean recoil just a little bit.

"Copulating with that woman. It would set us back a mile if you gave into your more, basal instincts," There was an undeniable hint of distaste as he spoke, making Dean completely bewildered. He looked at Castiel, mystified.

"Okay then, no hanky panky," He looked at his former friend, sitting there and still looking uncharacteristically sulky. "Um, Cas? Is something. . . _wrong_?"

"Not at all," Cas said, voice more low and gravelly than ever. Dean sat back, nodding slowly, not believing him at all but he decided to let it go.

"Right. . ." They fell into an awkward silence and Dean couldn't have been more grateful when the waitress came back with the pie and burger.

It was about ten minutes and as Dean was already almost finished with his Godsent burger, Cas hadn't even touched his pie. Something was definitely wrong.

"Okay, talk. You've been sitting there _brooding_, not even having touched what is probably the best pie in the world and it's making me so irritated that I don't even want to finish my burger—not that I _won't_, but if I had a mind to I wouldn't!" Cas looked up at him, surprised.

"I don't know what you're asking of me. What should I speak about?" Dean growled in annoyance.

"What you're feeling at the moment, I can almost smell the emotions from here. You usually don't _do_ that. It's weird!" Cas looked around, obviously uncomfortable, it took a moment before he answered.

"I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now, but it's not pleasant. It's. . . inconvenient,"

"When did it start?"

"When the waitress was ogling you shamelessly," Dean raised his eyebrows, halting his burger inches away from his mouth.

"What, you want to do her or something?" Cas shook his head, looking more uncomfortable than ever.

"I highly doubt that's the case. Look, just forget that I mentioned it. This isn't helping anything." He glared down at his pie and Dean tilted his head, feeling pity for the angel who was completely clueless when it came to human emotions, and for the pie, because nobody should direct their anger at pie. He put down his burger.

"Well, I know what will. Try a bite of that pie there and _then _tell me how you feel," Cas gave him his "I don't see how this will help anything," look, but still picked up his fork and cut out a piece of the pie, bringing it to his mouth and chewing slowly, as if deep in thought.

Castiel's eyes widened a fraction and Dean felt his mouth quirk upward just a bit, realizing he'd never forget the look on Castiel's face when he first tried apple pie.

"It is. . . more than satisfactory," Cas said, as though he couldn't believe what just happened.

"I told you. It's like God created it himself, well he essentially _did_ but you know what I mean,"

"I understand now, your affinity for these fruity pastries. It is rather. . . distracting," Castiel looked up at Dean once more, connecting with his gaze and making Dean shift in his seat a bit at the scrutiny. He was just glad that the angel was feeling a little bit better at least.

Castiel's mood improved drastically for the rest of the time and Dean couldn't help but think how silly the angel looked eating pie so thoughtfully. It was kind of. . . _cute_ to be honest. Dean scowled at the thought, thinking that he seriously shouldn't be thinking of the angel as cute, but _dammit_ he was being it. He finished his food, trying to stop watching him eat but it was freaking difficult as hell.

Before they left, Dean noticed a phone number slipped behind his receipt, he didn't tell Cas about it. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

::

The rest of the day was spent exploring Minneapolis and St. Paul. They visited many places, taking in all the architecture of the bridges and houses. They visited the Cathedral, and while Dean looked at the beautiful structures and high arches, Cas was explaining how inaccurate religion really was. Dean learned that Jesus was not a son of God or born from a virgin, but a vessel for Malachim, or angels that delivered the word of God. The idea that he was the son of God was merely Bible fiction. In fact, most of the Bible was pure fiction. Most sins in the bible were ignored by God, for when He was sculpting Man, God knew He was creating a being with all sorts of emotions and instincts. The only thing He really wanted to instill in the human race was humility and kindness towards others. He only wanted for the humans to work together towards happiness and adopt a sense of being one with each other.

There would be bad people and there would be good people, it all depended on how your brain worked. They were all God's children in the end, and He loved them all and took delight in humanity's imperfections.

As Castiel talked, Dean was wondering if he was thinking about wanting to correct their false knowledge of Christianity. He could, all he had to do was show them some of his angel stuff and he could create a whole new following. But of course that would draw unnecessary attention and they needed to lie low lest the Leviathans become well-informed of their whereabouts, and that was the last thing they needed.

Sick of sightseeing for the day, and since Castiel didn't really get full or sick, Dean decided to make the angel try a variety of sugary foods. They discovered the Mall of America, and from ice cream to animal crackers, Cas tried every sweet thing that they sold there. Dean found it amusing when he discovered that Castiel had an extreme affinity for gummy bears, orange in particular. He noticed it when they were sitting on a bench and Cas was picking out all the other colors and only eating the orange ones. Part of Dean was wondering why he was watching him so closely anyways, but he shoved it aside and didn't dwell on it.

It was when Cas started getting picked up by hookers and rejecting them by telling them that he was currently consummating his bond with Dean and could not partake in lewd actions with prostitutes, that the hunter decided that they'd had enough of the Twin Cities for the day.

Dean was relieved to get back to the hotel, he was definitely worn out. He rarely got the chance to just go sightseeing and if he were being completely honest with himself, he'd had more fun today than he'd had in three years, well maybe when he'd partnered with Cas for the road when Sam was MIA, now that he thought about it. Though the angel didn't really have a sense of humor, sarcasm or spontaneity, he was really fun to hang out with.

Dean was endlessly entertained by Castiel's lack of social skills, well when it didn't embarrass the shit out of him cause of something Cas would say. He took off his shirt, preparing for a long hot shower when he caught Castiel staring at him. He felt himself grow a bit fidgety under the angel's intense gaze.

"Is there something on my face?" He said, laughing a bit, grabbing a towel from the cupboard.

"I was looking at your physique, not your face" Castiel said bluntly. Dean felt himself go red.

"W-what the hell?" He said, his shirt gripped tight in his hand. He wasn't expecting something like that said so directly.

"I've noticed it before, you're very well built for a man, Dean," Dean didn't know whether he should be smug or creeped out by the angel's statement. His voice was shakier than he'd have preferred when he spoke.

"Well, t-thanks I guess," He'd just shove this aside like everything else that didn't really happen. See? Simple. He turned and headed to the bathroom and stopped before opening the door, looking back seeing Castiel sitting on the bed.

"You know you don't need to wear those clothes all the time, you might be more comfortable in something not-so bulky,"

"I don't see the need in obtaining something else to wear. I'm perfectly comfortable this way, I assure you,"

"Suit yourself angel-boy," To be honest Dean would find it odd to see the angel without his staple trench coat and tie. It just wouldn't be Cas without it.

::

"Cas. . . You need to jump on top of it,"

"There's no way that this mushroom could have defeated the red Italian man in this form. After he absorbed the red mushroom, and became substantially larger—which also didn't make sense— than the walking mushroom with eyes, he would have easily been able to step on it and end it's existence. Dean, humans don't get larger by eating mushrooms. It's blasphemous. And why would turtles be throwing hammers? Turtles don't do that. This game makes no sense at all," Dean slapped his hand against his face.

"Cas. . . It's a game, it doesn't _need_ to make sense," Dean turned so that he was facing Cas. "That's the point, it's called fantasy. It's like. . . A way to escape from reality because hammer throwing turtles and lethal walking mushrooms are extremely cool sounding. I mean come on, what would you do if a turtle just got up on it's hind legs and started chucking hammers at people?" Cas furrowed his brow, looking extremely confused.

"If I were a human I would promptly seek the assistance of the nearest animal control service," He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Dean rolled his eyes.

"No, you'd be like. 'Dude check out the hammer throwing turtle! That is so flippin' awesome, let's fight it!"

"You could easily take it out with a tranquilizer,"

"You are probably the most boring angel ever. I bet Gabriel would understand," Dean turned off the game, put off by Cas and his stupid _reasoning._

"You called?" Dean jumped and whipped around to see Gabriel laying on his bed reading what looked like. . . The latest edition of Busty Asian Beauties! He was _so _going to borrow that.

"Gabriel," Cas acknowledged his brother, suspicion in his eyes. The archangel-turned pagan God sighed, flipping a page.

"Here you are on your honeymoon and I wasn't even invited to the wedding. I'm hurt, baby bro,"

"If there was a wedding, I would have invited you," Cas said with one hundred percent sincerity. Gabriel smiled at his brother lovingly and Dean stepped in front of Cas, blushing and making a T with his arms to signal "Time out".

"Hold it right there! There ain't nothing about weddings and honeymoons going on for crying out loud! The _hell?_! Gabriel what are you doing here?" Gabriel sighed again and put down the magazine, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and standing up to meet Dean's eyes.

"No, 'hello, my favorite archangel, how I've missed you!'?" Dean crossed his arms impatiently. Gabriel mumbled something about a stick up the ass before speaking again. "Haven't you been wondering why Cassie here is back so suddenly?"

"Well of _course_,"

"Well so is every other one of God's angels, and since Daddy's always so tight lipped about everything, we've had to do our own research. What we've ascertained so far is that it was definitely Father who's brought you back. But why you've not received your penalty yet is still a mystery to everyone. I've had to go back in the ranks because tensions are rising amongst the other archangels because of this. You're not very popular upstairs right now Castiel, you'd better watch your ass,"

"I assure you I've taken precautions," Dean recalled the angel making Enochian symbols around the hotel as to ward off angels while Dean made demon wards. He didn't question it, but apparently Cas had been anticipating bad blood from his brothers.

"Is that why you're here? To warn us about some pissed off angels?" Gabriel shrugged, walking over to the eldest Winchester and grabbing him by the waist, crushing their lips together. Horrified beyond belief, Dean struggled with all his might but couldn't break his grasp.

"Gabriel!" He heard Cas shout and suddenly Gabriel was wrenched away, obviously by a very pissed off looking Castiel.

"D-Do that again and I swear I will boil you in holy oil and have fried angel wings for dinner!" Dean took a step towards Gabriel, balling his fists even though he knew he'd probably break his knuckles. He just needed to punch that stupid trickster's smirking face. Gabriel reached out his hand and ran his finger along the side of Dean's face, effectively freezing all of his movement with his Grace.

Castiel moved forward again but Gabriel held up his other hand and Cas was thrown into the chair.

"It better be as pretty as my brother, Winchester," And in an instant he was gone. They were free to move again but it was too late now.

"What the fucking _hell_!" Dean said, blood boiling and the feeling of that damn trickster's lips still there. He shuddered, running to the bathroom to wash his mouth out. Behind him he heard Castiel's voice, grim and somber.

"Gabriel did something to you, Dean,"

"Yeah he fucking raped my mouth!"

"Essentially, but there was something else. I saw it transfer from him and into you, I haven't any idea what it could have been, but it was very bright. It reminded me of Father's power," Dean stood up and patted his body, not feeling anything strange.

"I don't feel any different, though," Cas furrowed his brow.

"Apparently, we'll just have to wait and see what he did." Dean sighed, sitting on the green sofa near the closet, head in his hands.

"I'm so sick of being messed with by angels and demons, and all the _other_ supernatural crap we deal with on a regular basis," Castiel sat next to him, leaning forward on his knees, looking deep in thought.

"Should we tell Sam about this?"

"No! Definitely freakin' not. I don't need his bitch face looking at me all smirky and stuff cause I got lip molested by the trickster!"

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop him, Dean," Dean looked at the angel next to him, finding him looking extremely put out by this. Dean grinned and patted him on the back.

"It's fine, I won't die having been kissed by a dude,"

"It's not _fine," _Castiel bit out. Dean raised a brow, taking his hand away.

"O-kay then? We need to have a man-chat or something?" Castiel sighed, looking up at Dean, eyes looking weary, which was strange because Castiel never got tired physically.

"I've just been thinking a lot lately. It's. . . exhausting. I don't know how you humans do it all the time,"

"Well, we have a whole 8 hours where we don't, it's called sleep. You should try it,"

"I've never slept as an angel before. When I was losing my Grace I did, but like this, it's a bit more complicated. My body doesn't physically need it, so it will be difficult to make myself,"

"Well it looks like we have to at least try, you look like hell,"

"Thanks," Castiel said, sarcasm surprising Dean. The angel was getting better at that, he noted. He stood up.

"Well there's no better time then now to try," Dean stretched, yawning. "I'm beat, man. We've been playing Super Mario Bros. 3 all day. I swear I'm going to be dreaming about chomping plants and little round ghosts,"

"Dreams. . . I wonder if I will experience one tonight," Cas mused, thoughtfully. Dean raised a brow, wondering if angels could even dream.

"Well good luck. Hope you get a hottie with big boobs,"

"Right. . ." Castiel moved toward his bed by the window, moving to lay on it and Dean cleared his throat, stopping him. Castiel looked back in question.

"No trench coat when you're sleeping,"

"But—"

"It's going to be hard enough for you to sleep, so you're going to want to be comfortable," Castiel shrugged off the tan coat and went back to his quest to lay in bed, but was stopped once again by the hunter.

"The other coat too," Castiel was looking kind of annoyed now, but took off the navy blue overcoat, revealing a wrinkled white shirt over his dark blue pants. He was about to move to the bed again when Dean huffed and pulled him aside, moving to undo the angel's tie. He wouldn't be able to sleep knowing someone was sleeping in a tie.

He wasn't aware of the proximity until he looked up and was met with Castiel's deep blue eyes. Dean fidgeted, trying his damndest not to blush but was failing miserably, as heat spread throughout his cheeks, moving to his neck. . . his chest . . . and _hell_ why was it taking so long to undo a damned _tie?_

But he wasn't undoing the tie anymore, his hands had apparently moved down to the angel's belt and he felt his face burst into flames as it was already undone. He didn't even realize he was doing it. Castiel was looking at him in curiously, his eyes darker now, lips slightly parted revealing his perfect white teeth, and Dean' heartbeat raced for some infuriating reason that Dean did _not _want to pursue. _Shit_ he was still holding onto the belt!

He freed his hands from it as though burned and stumbled back, away from Cas' intense gaze and clumsily landed onto his bed.

"T-There. Goodnight," He stuttered out, hand fumbling for the light until they were engulfed in darkness.

"Goodnight, Dean,"

There was a creak as Castiel laid on the bed, and suddenly every fucking sound was amplified for reasons Dean could not explain. He could hear the steady, unnecessary breathing of the being next to him, the shifting as he tried for a more comfortable position and it was all like fire shooting through Dean's senses.

And _why?_ Cause he was standing so close to the angel that he could feel his warm breath on his face? That he was practically undressing him? That the angel's eyes were so _blue _like the fucking _sea _that he could probably get lost in them if given the opportunity? And why was he talking like a crappy chick flick all of a sudden? Dean ground his teeth together, not liking these thoughts at all.

He hoped that Castiel would sleep well, for Dean was sure he was going to have a hell of a time.

::

"It is done, Father,"

"Wonderful, wonderful my son. Now for the next step, will we need to involve a Cherubim, do you think?"

"I honestly believe that things will go according to plan without a Cherubim, my Lord,"

"Excellent. Then, for now, we will wait," Gabriel smirked. Oh, Dean will _not_ be happy about this.

::

**a/n**: This story is just writing itself at this point. I wasn't planning on putting Gabriel in here when I started this fic, but he's proving to be a convenient plot device. Review my pretties, and I shall give you chapters! I sleep now. :gives you tied up nekkid Dean in offering for reviews:


	4. Fucked by an Angel

**Ch. 4 Fucked by an Angel**

**a/n**: Thanks for the reviews to those of you that gave them! I really appreciate that. As for the others who just added this to story alert &$(#% yo—I mean, I love you equally. . .

**Chapter Warning(s): Language, angst, and gay, angry sex. LEMON! Turn away if the thought of Dean getting it up the arse squicks you!**

To my first reviewer Pappy, I'm sorry, please do not torch yourself. :(

_Italics – _subconscious thought  
>'<em>italics'— <em>indicates Dean's thought

**::**

"Let's try again,"

"Dean—"

"Again!" Dean gripped the bench, biting back a wince of pain. They'd been practicing "Wing-Seeing" for the past hour, and the only thing Dean had accomplished was a massive headache.

Dean had awaken to find the angel sitting on the bed, trench coat and tie back in place and was informed that he had been unsuccessful at sleeping, but he would try again the next night.

The eldest Winchester suggested that they get the angel's mind off of things by doing something different to help Dean learn to See. Castiel asked what it was, but Dean insisted on not telling them until they got there. Dean knew the angel would not be impressed when he discovered the plan so he'd been careful to be tight lipped until they got there. And that's how they'd ended up in the current state of Dean slumped against the bench and Castiel looking worried and irritated by the Winchester's stubborn-horse attitude.

"Dean you're going to hurt yourself. Your eyes can't handle it, I can sense it when they start to burn, and it's not getting any better. At this point it's just draining you. The exposure technique doesn't work when it comes to this," Dean grit his teeth in irritation, clenching his fists.

"Well what the hell else am I supposed to do, huh? Your _bonding_ crap ain't doing shit. It's still the same as before,"

"It's because you won't open yourself up to me—" Dean groaned in frustration, throwing his head back against the bench. They'd picked the same park as before, making sure it was deserted before they tried.

"I'm just frustrated alright? I have a lot on my mind and it's hard for me to just be—" He sighed, rubbing his burning eyes with his hands. "I just need to relax," And suddenly the room spun out of view and there were rocks and water. Lots of it. . .

Where the hell. . .?

"I heard that Japanese onsen are good for relaxation,"

"Japa—Japanese? Like a spa in Minneapolis?" Castiel shook his head and Dean blanched, looking back at the angel behind him, realization dawning on him as the angel didn't do things half-assed. "We're in friggen _Japan_?"

"Noboribetsu, Hokkaido to be exact," Dean gripped his temple, whipping around in anger when he felt something drop to his feet. He looked down, noticing something. . . _missing._ Suddenly he was very aware of a cool breeze. . .

"Your towel—" Dean's face burned hotter than a thousand suns as he picked up the towel and covered himself quickly.

"Where are my clothes Cas?" Cas looked up thoughtfully to the sky and said very seriously.

"I wonder. . ."

"Zap them back, right now you winged bastard!" Dean snapped, enraged.

"You said it yourself. You need to relax. Now please," He gestured to the giant open air bath in front of them. Dean looked, seeing the steam rising from an obviously hot bath. It really. . ._did_ look relaxing. He bit his lip, tossing a pointed glare at Cas, telling him visually that he would do this and enjoy it, but not because of Cas, and stalked towards the water, testing the temperature with his toe. Scalding. Perfect.

He stepped in, lifting the towel before it touched the water, making sure he was covered even though he was sure that, at this point, Castiel had seen everything. He paled at this thought, not liking it at all. He looked back at the angel, still clad in trench coat and business suit and just standing creepily at the edge of the bath.

"Well are you coming in or not?"

"I don't need to,"

"Yes you do. You've been stressed too I can see it on your stupid face," Castiel's eyebrows lifted slightly at this admission.

"It actually shows on my face?"

"Yes, your eyebrows are always doing that crinkly thing in the middlewhenever you're frustrated about something. Your whole body is just tensed," Cas's mouth opened a little, obviously surprised.

"I. . . Didn't know you were looking so closely," Dean bit his cheek, not liking this sentence out of Castiel's mouth.

"I wasn't! It's just obvious. . .jeez," Was the water getting hotter? "Just get your ass in here before I drag you in—" Suddenly there was a splash and Castiel was right next to him, and still wearing that goddamned trench coat!

"Off with the fucking coat!" Dean snapped.

"If you say so," And suddenly there was a very naked, and very _close_ Castiel in the water with him, skin glowing from the water and the lights all around. Cas leaned in, saying in a low voice. "Is this better? Are you relaxed yet?" Dean looked down, seeing a pale and lightly toned chest and abdomen, not entirely different from his own. His lines were so. . . so. . . Dean looked lower, swallowing as he realized the water didn't quite cover his treasure trail. . . Okay, the water was _way_ too fucking hot!

Dean's heart was literally throbbing in his chest, he felt dizzy and _God. . ._this was _anything_ but relaxing. Why was he even freaking out like this in the first place? It's just a naked guy! He'd, unwillingly, seen plenty of them before! What the fucking hell was going on with his head? Why were telltale signs of arousal shooting down his spine and to his traitorous cock? Dean Winchester wasn't fucking _gay!_

_But remember that night? You were drunk and you used him as your rut pillow?_

'_I was drunk. . . I wasn't thinking right, I must have thought he was some chick I picked up. _Dean defended himself against. . . well, himself. . .

_But you know you didn't. You wanted to know what kissing him felt like, didn't you? _His subconscious chided mercilessly._ Wanted to make him hot because just remembering that night he got hard made you fucking horny. You wanted to see it again, right? _Dean gaped in horror, his brain completely frozen. But even though he was having an internal meltdown, he managed to stutter out some words.

"M-Maybe if I have some time by m-myself?" At this point he was getting hard down there and if they were this close for much longer, Cas was bound to feel it. He mentally berated his penis for getting even _more_ excited by this.

Castiel narrowed his eyes before nodding and disappearing into thin air. "A-And no spying either!" He called out, feeling stupid, like some teenaged girl. He groaned in frustration, willing those horrifying thoughts away.

But it wasn't working.

"Shit!" He shouted, splashing at the water, as though it was the enemy for some reason. He ran his hand through is hair, frustration tightly gathered in his brow. He didn't know how to handle this. He'd _never_ had sexual feelings for a male before. Not _ever _ in all his life. Even when he was down in the Pit and they did those things to him, he didn't feel anything from it. Never got hard once (something he was very proud of, by the way). But Castiel. . .

Castiel was. . . _different_.

He was so perfect in every imperfect way. He had this clueless fucking _adorableness_ about him that just set Dean's nerves on fire every time he saw it! Because every stupid thing he said, every stupid fucking utterance made Dean smile. Just a little bit.

Fuck.

"Konbanwa," Dean jumped, started and whipped around to see a very old, very _wrinkly_ Japanese man standing at the edge of the bath wearing nothing but his birthday suit. Suddenly the problem Dean had before had disappeared. Wrinkly old bodies had that kind of effect on him. Dean grimaced mentally as he got full frontal of old dude balls.

"Koba-_what?" _He asked crankily before realizing the man probably didn't speak English. Great. Just _peachy_.

"Sorry, May I join you?" The man said, heavily accented.

"Oh, good you speak English,"

"May I?" He asked again. Dean nodded quickly, not wanting to be rude and say no. The man smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners and stepped in carefully, not wanting to slip. He sighed and sank into the water "Ah, onsen is nice, yes?"

"Y-yeah," Dean was grateful that the man was for the most part, covered now, grateful as he was for the mental cock-blocking. "Yeah it's really nice,"

"Onsen wipe worries away temporarily. Love troubles especially," Dean grit his teeth, defensive.

"I _don't_ have _love_ troubles! He's just a damn angel. He's a _man_ and I _don't_ want to see his penis!" Dean sucked in a breath, mortified by all that he'd just blurted out. The old man's eyebrows shot up to his hairline before he calmed again, smiling.

"Then you don't see penis. Nobody ask you to, boy." Dean blushed five shades of red before turning away, furious at himself for saying all that, and to a complete _stranger_. The man mumbled something to himself sounding like "Ten-shee" before he spoke again, this time more curiously. "This man; He is angel?" Dean looked away, thinking of how to answer.

"J-Just forget that. It's nothing," The old man nodded, thinking again.

"What is it you want, boy?"

"Ice cream sounds good. . ." The man huffed impatiently.

"I meant _you_. What is your greatest desire in life? Dean frowned. He hadn't asked himself that. He'd been dreading it but maybe the answer wasn't that scary after all.

He wanted to be Dean Winchester. Nothing more, nothing less. "I just want to be me," He voiced, not really sure why he did it.

"Then go be you. Being you tell you what your heart want," Dean felt his lip quirk. Maybe the old man was onto something.

He opened his mouth, wanting to thank the old man for his advice but when he looked back, the man was gone and suddenly the room was spinning out of control.

::

Dean felt as though he'd just been punched into next Thursday when he was able to see again, the room coming into focus and he realized he was back at the hotel. He felt his face heated up as he realized the angel might have heard his conversation with the old man before Castiel was in front of him, looking really agitated.

"Dean! What happened? How did you get back here? I looked all over for you at the onsen but you weren't there. You weren't even in Japan anymore—Wait, why are you covered in cucumbers?" Dean wrinkled his brow, confused. Cucumbers—?

He looked down to see at least a dozen cucumbers tied with rope around his body from the neck down, something of a cucumber skirt around his waist. He felt his eye twitch. What the fucking _hell_?

"There's a note. . ." Castiel pulled a piece of paper that was tied around Dean's left ankle and read aloud, translating it. "Take care of penis-boy, Mr. Angel. He's going to be sad a lot. Love, KappaNoshi"

"KappaNoshi? What the hell is _that_?" Dean asked. Cas made an impatient sound in his throat.

"It appears you had a run-in with a kappa, a harmless one it seems, but still. Kappa are native to Japan, famous for being annoying tricksters. Sometimes they can be rather vicious. They have a profound love for cucumbers. . ." Castiel took a moment to glance at Dean's new veggie-attire. Dean felt his face get warm and he glared, crossing his arms self-consciously. "It must have teleported you back here. They easily get into children's heads, usually to lure them in with fortune telling or something or other before they eat them. Some of them can be friendly. You're lucky you met a seemingly friendly one, which used it's abilities to transport you back home," Dean ground his teeth, pointing to his cucumbers.

"You call _this_ friendly?"

"Well it could have sent you back here naked. It must have been thinking about your need to be clothed. Kappas don't carry clothes, they just have cucumbers. It must consider you a good friend since it gave you so many," Dean groaned.

"Great, just what I need. To be besties with a freakin' _kappa_," Dean bit his lip, realizing he was still clad in vegetables. "I'm going to change. Can you get me a cheeseburger or something? I'm hungry. And pie. Pumpkin no whip. Also some gummy worms, maybe chocolate and peanut butter too," Cas raised his eyebrow, probably curious as to what he would do with all of that junk food, but nodded before disappearing.

Dean took the time he spent dressing to think about what his next course of action would be. He knew Cas wouldn't take long to gather all these things, but he had to do something to get these freaky thoughts out of his head once and for all.

The kappa-dude was right; He had to be himself.

He dug around in his old pair of jeans for that number from the other day, and, without much struggle finally found it.

::

Dean hastily strolled down the sidewalk, The walk was taking longer than the girl said it would. It was already becoming nightfall. Sam had the car as Cas had insisted that Dean wouldn't be needing it— Something Dean was really regretting now. It looked like it was about to rain. Dean knew that he looked good wet but he wanted to be drier when meeting his date for the night.

He'd left the apartment, quickly before Cas could return. He didn't want to lie to the angel but he also didn't want Cas to get all moody again on him, and a one-night stand had nothing to do with emotions and bonding. It was just that, a one night stand. Cas obviously had more learning to do about the ways of humans.

He knew he needed to be focusing on this bond-thing with the angel but to be honest all of this crap was starting to freak him out. His thoughts were turning weird and Dean Winchester just didn't have weird thoughts about dudes. Nope, best option was to sex it away with a busty babe and that's what he was about to do.

When he finally reached the girl's apartment, he was about to ring the buzzer when suddenly he heard a very irritated sounding voice behind him.

"You lied,"

"H-How—?"

"When I got back, cheeseburger, pie, gummy worms, chocolate and peanut butter all obtained, I looked for you in the apartment and I didn't find you and, I figured here or with Sam would be the only other place you'd be. When Sam turned up empty, the waitress wasn't difficult to find," Dean sighed, leaning against the building, fists first.

"Come on man. . .I just needed. . . "

"To get your head on straight, right?" Cas sounded almost. . ._bitter_. "I understand that this is difficult for you, Dean, but frankly I'm getting fed up with your attitude," Dean whipped around, anger curling in his belly. The clouds mimicking his anger in a loud roar as water began to fall around them.

"_You're_ getting fed up? Do you know what it's like looking at the sorry face of the person who betrayed you every minute of the day, being forced to 'cooperate' with him for the greater good? I don't even have time to be properly pissed at you! You think you can just waltz back in here and act like nothing's wrong? You _left _us, you sonovabitch, you left_. . ._" _Me._ Dean could feel his face heat, despite the cold rain and he was glad it was raining cause he couldn't be one hundred percent certain that he wasn't crying. He was pounding, kicking, and screaming. but he wasn't crying, really.

Before he knew it he was being shoved against the wall, Castiel's hands entwined in his as their faces were suddenly two inches away from each other. Dean felt as though those damn blue eyes were burning him_ alive_.

"Do you think I don't know that? Do you _think_ I don't regret every _God_damned day of my existence the things that I've done? Every fiber of my being knows that there is no way I can reverse what I did to you, Sam and Bobby, mostly you because it is you that I've hurt and betrayed the most." He paused, eyes the saddest shade of blue he'd ever seen in his life. Dean felt his breath hitch in his throat before Cas started to speak again. "I regret it so much, and I hope every day that I can make it stop hurting, make you stop hating me but I can't. I don't know what to do anymore at all. I have all of these damned emotions swirling around in my mind and I have no idea what to make of them because they all revolve around one damn Winchester and it's really starting to piss me right the fuck _off_!"

Ignoring that Cas had just used the Lord's name in vain, Dean was certain that that was more words than Castiel had ever said in his entire time that he'd known him, but he couldn't dwell on it too long because, before he knew it, Cas had mashed their lips together, in a sloppy, angry kiss, well more like a lip smash than a kiss. It didn't really matter what it was because it wasn't really happening.

Dean was properly losing his fucking mind, that's what was happening.

So since it wasn't really happening, he just let his insanity-induced hallucination take him wherever it wanted to.

The kiss broke and Dean reached up, gripping Castiel's face in his hands, and he stared hard into his beautiful blue eyes, his heart thumping wildly, tears streaming down his face, though he would never admit it.

"Don't. . . _ever _leave again you motherfucker,"

"I'll never leave again, Dean. For the rest of eternity I'll be here. I swear it," Dean might have done something as girly as sob but he muffled it by forcing their lips together. Cas shoved him tighter up against the wall. Dean was sure they couldn't get any closer unless they took their clothes off, and as though reading his mind (Which was entirely possible, Dean realized), Cas effortlessly ripped open his own shirt, followed by Dean's, and pressed tightly against the elder Winchester, face not even an inch away from the other's. Dean felt the familiar sensation of lust curl inside of his belly as Cas's breath ghosted against his, hot and smelling like, like, well he was sure of what it did _not_ smell like.

It didn't smell like food or toothpaste. Didn't smell like some of the outrageous lip gloss flavors he'd experienced on his many encounters with women (there was once a pumpkin pie flavor, that had been a surprise). No it just smelled like Castiel, and it was a surprisingly pleasant change to Dean, completely ignoring the fact that this was a fucking _dude_. He also didn't miss the sticky feeling after kisses with gloss-adorned lips.

Dean broke away, Cas not remembering that human's needed air.

"I think you have a shoving-against-walls fetish, Cas," He breathed out, taking a deep breath of the fresh, rain-scented air. Cas just narrowed his eyes, letting out an almost feral growl before he caught Dean in a bruising kiss yet again, only this time his hands started fumbling with Dean's pants. Dean felt himself shiver involuntarily, not only from the hands brushing against his most sensitive area but at the cold that was steadily seeping deep into him.

Rain sex—Sexy? Yes. Smart. . .? Not so much. . .

Cas must have finally realized this too and halted his actions, pausing to look at Dean for just a moment, and with a flurry of feathers Dean found himself back in the hotel room being firmly pushed onto the bed and pinned quite effectively. He wasn't entirely aware that the lusty sounds being made were coming from his mouth. He was too concentrated on the horny fucking _angel_ ravishing him.

His jeans were all but ripped off and he felt his wet skin abruptly become dry via Grace, Dean supposed, and before he knew It, Cas was on him again, all hands and lips and Dean desperately gripped at the sheets as he felt the angel palm his growing hard-on, for he didn't feel like he would be held together any other way.

"Not as innocent as I first thought. . ."

"I have no idea if what I'm doing is correct, but I couldn't care less at the moment. I just. . . want you. . ." Dean felt the heat low in his stomach pool faster south at those words. He loved feeling wanted like that. He _needed_ it. That was why he always slept around so much, those girls _wanted _him, well they did for the night. It sucked in the morning waking up to be alone in the bed, but that was the price for those brief moments of bliss.

"Just keep doing what you're doing, Romeo," Castiel was about to say something, Dean guessed to correct him concerning his name. Dean held up his hand to stop him from ruining the sexy atmosphere by having Dean explain a euphemism . "Just. . . continue,"

Castiel came up, still rubbing his cock nice and fast, blue eyes dark with lust, and pressed his lips tight against Dean's, kissing him hotly, so intense that Dean was practically seeing stars. He felt himself moan into it and couldn't even find time to be embarrassed as he felt Cas spreading his legs apart. He felt something hard bump his cock and he realized that it was another cock and he ground his teeth, trying not to freak out about it because as insane as Dean was, he couldn't exactly ignore the fact that a hallucinated cock was now rubbing against his.

"Cas. . ." If Dean had to describe what he was feeling, it was passion and lust and anger and utter mortification all at once and all he knew is that he just _felt_ and it felt fucking _good_. He decided that, just one time he would give in to—to well, whatever this was. Just one time and then it would be all over. He wouldn't have to think about it again because Dean was extremely good at not thinking about things he _really_ didn't want to think about. Decision in mind, the Winchester wrapped his legs around Castiel's hips and rolled himself harder against the angel's weeping dick cause he didn't know anything anymore.

He heard Cas groan at the new contact and he felt a little stroke of evil and ground harder. "You like that?" He said, playfully. Castiel's voice was rough with arousal when he spoke.

"Yes. . . very much, Dean," Dean looked hard into Castiel's lust-filled eyes.

"Make me feel good, idiot," Cas sucked in a breath, capturing Dean's lips again as he thrust his hips hard into Dean, the contact making Dean cry out in pleasure. _Fuck_ that was nice. Cas repeated the action, falling into a clumsy rhythm of dry-humping, but Dean could only feel bliss. He could feel the slick coming from their aching members, making everything a mess but he only craved for _more_. It was something he'd never experienced before and it was mind-numbingly sexy.

"Dean I. . ." Cas muttered, breaking off. Dean found himself being pressed against the bed once again, their nether regions loosing contact for a moment before he felt something press against his back-door and he jumped, startled. "I want. . ."

"What are you—Oh _fuck_!" Cas groaned as he pressed the tip of his dick inside of Dean's hole. Dean winced at the sudden stab of pain in places he'd never ventured before. He hadn't expected that. He gripped onto Castiel's shoulders, probably ripping his skin with his nails. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. You motherfucker!"

"Dean. . . it's so tight, I'm sorry, I can't. . . I need, ugh. . ." Dean cried out again as Cas started to move, burying his hard dick deep within his ass.

"You sonova—Oh fuck! Ugh!" Dean bit and scratched at Cas, as the angel was balls-deep and Dean was quite literally pinned underneath. There was no escape even if he wanted to, which if he were to be perfectly honest he didn't. Dean wasn't exactly the submissive type, he was straight after all, but he'd be lying if he said he'd never been fucked in the ass before, it was kind of commonplace in hell to be raped repeatedly on a daily basis, but never had he experienced it like this before. It was as rough and as unprepared as all the other times were, but he found he didn't mind it if it were the angel. All pain aside, his cock was still throbbing and erect and Cas had just bumped the naughty spot that sent Dean reeling. "Oh my fucking _God_. . .!" And then there was no movement. Dean groaned in frustration. "Cas for God's sake, if you're gonna fuck me then fucking _move_,"

"R-Right," Cas started a rhythm of some sort, a very _slow_ rhythm. And because God's angels weren't skilled in the art of hard fucking, Dean had to clue him in. "Move your hips, Cas!"

"I don't want to hurt you," Cas bit out, sweat beading on his brow as he gripped Dean's legs tightly. Dean ground his teeth, trying not to go crazy. Damn stupid _chivalrous_ angels

"I honestly don't even know what pain is right now I just want you to move your ass!"

"R-Right," Cas started moving, _finally_. Rocking his dick in and out of Dean nice and fast. The hunter met every thrust, coaxing him into a faster, harder rhythm and soon the bed was making that tell-tale squeaking sound as lusty moans accompanied it. If Dean had known being fucked by an angel would be so mind-blowingly _awesome_, he would have volunteered sooner. Cas was slamming his cock in and out of his tight heat, his hot, toned body glistening in the moonlight with sweat, his face contorted in lust and sexiness and Dean was just moaning like a fucking bitch in heat, rolling his hips and trying to feel more and more with every stroke. It was becoming less rough as the aroused angel was practically oozing precome by now.

"Why are you so goddamn hot?" Dean rasped out as Cas struck that spot again.

"I. . . uhn. . . assume it's from the rapid. . . thrusting and. . . mingling body heat and. . . Oh! Oh _God_. . .!" Dean grinned, pulling the angel in for a passionate kiss, sucking on Castiel's tongue as he ground his cock between their stomachs. The obliviousness was such a turn on. . . Castiel moaned into Dean's mouth, kissing him back eagerly.

"You're amazing. . ."Dean breathed against his mouth, moaning as Cas started pummeling his sweet spot. "Nnnn, Castiel keep doing that, you're gonna make me come. . .touch me," Cas groaned, reaching down and gripping Dean's cock nice and tight, stroking it in time with his thrusts.

"I think I. . . , uhn, Dean what is happening?" Cas thrust his hips fast and rough, groaning into Dean's ear.

"J-Just keep going you'll see," Cas did, his thrusts growing more frantic and jerky and Dean opened his eyes as a brightness started to fill the room.

And something completely breathtaking filled his vision.

There was Cas, arched over him, eyes electric blue and behind him, a pair of magnificent wings, flowing like black and brown silk behind him, wild with the rapid pace of their sex, but still elegant as if it were intentional. It was Cas's fucking _wings_. The wide and beautiful plumes were spread out as far as his eyes could see. Dean felt his heart beat speed up into his throat, senses on overload. It was as though everything was suddenly in slow motion. It was simply unbelievable. A living work of fucking _art_.

_Now I have to be dreaming,_ thought Dean, because there was no way something so extraordinary could exist in reality.

With one hard thrust he felt that unmistakable warmth filling him as Cas started to come, and suddenly, everything sped up. Castiel groaned, pounding at Dean's prostate with every desperate thrust. Dean felt like he would just fucking melt into a puddle of goo, and before he knew it, his own orgasm was being ripped violently from him, whipping through him like wildfire. He yelled out, probably screaming for Cas, holding onto the angel tightly as they both came hard. He felt Cas's body shudder in pleasure, knowing that electricity was spreading throughout every nerve of his body as every first orgasm did. He just drank in the sight of the angel coming undone, blue eyes on fire with lust, mouth open and body shuddering in his intense orgasm.

He caught Cas in his arms as the angel's body went limp and ran his fingers through Castiel's black, sex-mussed hair, the sleek, black wings slumped around them, covering them like a blanket. Cas probably wasn't even aware that they were visible. He turned Cas's head towards him, the angel's eyes half-lidded but still somewhat aware of what was happening.

"Fuckin' amazing," Was all Dean could say before he kissed Cas again, this time the kiss slow and lazy.

"Fucking amazing," Cas repeated, breathlessly, kissing back equally as lazy, and in a few moments, Dean was surprised to hear soft snoring coming from the angel. Finally, the bastard falls asleep.

However, Dean wasn't too far behind.

::

**a/n: CONGRATS TO ME ON MY FIRST FOURTH CHAPTER! **I've never made it to 4 chapters before! But ewwy! It's so hastily put together. . . gah mistakes. . .Ah well. . .Anyways **please review. . .? **It makes me all inspired and shit.** Constructive **Criticism is welcome too! I know my writing is sloppy and all over the place. . . Don't hold back!

**NOTE: I'm going to be changing the title, which is currently "Retribution" because I suck at titles. I want you to help me decide. Currently it's a tie between "Seeing in Black" and "As His Father Will" Tell me what you think is better in review form, or if you think I should just keep it as is! Thanks! **


	5. As His Father Will

**CH. 5 **

**a/n: **Thanks so much for all the love and reviews. You guys seem to really like this story, I'm glad :D It's fun to write so I'm going to stick with this! The writers of one of my favorite stories even read it and likes it, I'm all giddy and stuff. **Check out "Personal Jesus" by DeansMuse. It's a wonderful mpreg! **

**Chapter warning(s): language, light angst, mpreg, First part starts off in Sam's POV and then moves to Castiel's.**

**Disclaimer: (forgot last time) I do not own Supernatural. . . And, Mr. Kripke. . . Please stop shipping Cas/Meg. . . It makes me want to vomit. Thanks!**

— **indicates POV change.  
>:: indicates time skip<strong>

**::**

Sam Winchester was sitting on the hotel bed, avidly researching about the Leviathans for whatever info that might be out there to help them. Lucifer was sitting next to him, idly humming the Spongebob Squarepants theme song, being obnoxious as always, when he heard a distinct flurry of wings. He looked up to see Gabriel standing against the wall looking smug.

"Can't you knock?" He said, trying to sound irritated. To be honest, he was surprised to see the former archangel. He hadn't been seen in months.

"I prefer to make dramatic entrances whenever possible," He pushed himself off the wall, walking over to where Sam was. "Interesting reading?" Sam sighed, running a hand through his brunette locks.

"Maybe, if I could find something useful. Other than that, we're still at moot point here. I wish there would be some sort of clue as to what the Big mouths are planning," Gabriel snorted, moving and pulling a chair from the nearby table and placing it in front of the younger Winchester. Sitting on it backwards, crossing his arms over the back, he grinned.

"So how is your angst-ridden brother with the girly eyelashes doing?" He asked. Sam sighed, closing the book. He obviously wouldn't be getting anything out of researching with Gabriel here. He might as well socialize a bit.

"To be honest, I'm not sure. He and Castiel have been holed up together in another room, apparently trying to help Dean gain the ability to see Cas's wings. I haven't been allowed to contact him. It's been half a week now, I wonder how they're progressing,"

"Well, let me tell you. Their little 'bonding' sessions have been rather. . . How should I say it? Fruitful? Probably more than you'll ever want to know," Sam cocked a bemused eyebrow at the angel.

"What do you mean by that? You've been in contact with them?" He asked. "Can Dean See Cas's wings?" Gabriel chuckled, smirking widely.

"Oh, he can See them alright. He's been seeing quite a lot of ol' Cassie, actually," Gabriel had this mischievous gleam in his eyes that worried Sam. Just a bit.

"Then it's done right? Why hasn't Dean come back?"

"Well he's a little preoccupied. . . at the present," Sam huffed, truly irritated now. Lucifer raised his hand eagerly like a school kid and shouted "They're fucking!" as if the answer to a question the teacher gave.

"Will you stop with the hidden innuendo and tell me what the heck is going on over there?"

"They're fucking," Sam suddenly found himself in a fit of coughing and he sat up abruptly. Lucifer pulled his elbow in, hand balled in a fist, muttering "Yusss!" Sam laughed.

"Really, what's going on, man?" Gabriel cocked his head, looking confused.

"I just told you, you idiot," Sam grinned, feeling another fit of giggles trying to overtake him. The thought of Dean Winchester screwing a dude. . . Freaking outrageous!

"Okay stop. It's funny, but I really wanna know."

"It's not a joke, Sammy-boy. I just went to check in on them and they're like freakin' _bunnies _over there. I'm, not surprised, really. I saw it coming a mile away," Sam felt his insides go cold. Gabriel wasn't lying? It couldn't be true. Dean was the straightest guy Sam knew. . . well aside his escapades with Dr. Sexy. And then there was the curious affinity to ballet. . . Oh _God_. . .

"M-My _brother _is screwing _Castiel?_ You're kidding, right?"

"'Fraid not kiddo. Only it's the other way around. Cassie's the one doing the pitching," He looked at Sam's scandalized expression. "I know, that one threw me for the loop too, but it is what it is, I guess. Didn't know my lil' bro had it in him. Chip off the ol' block, if I do say so myself," Gabriel took this moment to look smug, as if accomplished.

Sam, gripped his head, trying to steel himself against the onslaught of horrifying images. He felt like someone had just told him that the moon was actually made of cheese, and that the Minnesota Vikings had won the Superbowl. This was just too much to take in at once. How was he supposed to wrap his mind around the fact that his brother was gay, or bi or _whatever_ the hell it was. Sam wasn't a homophobe, but even putting the word 'gay' in the same sentence as Dean Winchester was completely preposterous.

"The kicker is the prank my ol' man and I just pulled on Castiel. Oh boy, Dean-o is _so_ not going to be impressed," Gabriel hooted, chuckling to himself. Sam stared at him darkly, not liking the sound of this.

"What did you _do_, Gabriel?" He growled. The angel, looked innocently at him.

"Not too much. . . Just gave Dean the ability to become pregnant, no harm no foul. . . if they used protection, that is" Sam gaped at the other in horror. Gabriel furrowed his brow. "Then again it's not like Cas had ever had sex, or can contract any STDs, and going on the preconceived notion that men can't get pregnant, there wouldn't be any reason for them to use a condom— Why Sammy, you're turning the most shocking shade of green," He smirked. Lucifer put his hands on his face, looking all faux-appalled at Sammy, as though anticipating what he would do next.

"Gabriel, what have you _done?_ Oh my _God_. I have to stop them!"

"They're in the heated middle of it. If you wanna stop them, you might wanna catch them before the proverbial explosive end," Sam didn't waste any time, he was already out the door by the time Gabriel finished his sentence. The angel just smirked.

Dean woke up to the bright sunlight, only this time he wasn't so wrathful of it. The pleasant warmth washed over his body and he felt entirely refreshed. The hot springs probably did him some good after all. He was about to stretch but he stopped when he felt a suspicious ache in his lower body. A region that has never _ached_ before. . .

Oh. . .

But. . . It was just a hallucination, wasn't it? It didn't. . . _really_ happen. It couldn't have. It really couldn't—

Suddenly he felt something snuggle up to him, something warm, naked, and suspiciously Castiel-shaped.

_Fuck_.

"Good morning, Dean,"

"Fucking hell!" Dean shot to an upright position, wincing and regretting it as he felt the pain full throttle. He "God_dammit_ Cas what is wrong with me? I don't just sleep with _dudes_. Jesus. . . why does it fucking hurt back there so bad?" He glared at Cas, who looked sheepish for a moment, before the angel sat up, turning to him butt naked, legs spread and Dean got the full Monty. And fucking _hell _if it wasn't turning him on. Dean grit his teeth in frustration.

"Forgive me, Dean. There wasn't any preparation. I just—" Dean held out his hand, covering his eyes as if that would help him block out the image before him.

"Don't say it. Just. . . Put some fucking clothes on?" Cas nodded but suddenly the door flew open and a very flustered looking Sam Winchester tumbled through it, shouting out for Dean before he paused at the scene before him. He looked extremely distraught, and he turned around throwing his head back and slamming his fists against the wall.

"Dammit, Gabriel!" Dean was properly dying inside at this very moment, dear in headlights look an all. There he was, butt-naked in bed with a very equally naked angel, aching pain in his ass, suspicious crustiness around him in various places and—there was his little brother. The little brother who only knew Dean as the man-whore with a fetish for busty brunettes. The only conclusion was that he and Cas had slept together. Dean wondered if he could have lilies at his funeral. He'd always liked lilies. Wait, why was Sam calling for Gabriel at a time like this?

Suddenly the angel in question appeared, annoyingly wide grin plastered on his stupid face. Dean looked over at Cas, who looked back equally confused.

"I thought you said—"

"Now, Sammy, where would be the fun if you had interrupted them. That wouldn't be a very effective punishment, now would it? These two boys slept peacefully throughout the night after they fucked each other's brains out." Dean felt himself turn nauseas. Gabriel had _seen_?

"I'm going to fucking kill you, you sonovabitch. . . " Dean said dangerously. Sam balled his fists, obviously sharing his sentiments. Gabriel held up his hands and Sam was frozen.

"Woah, woah, woah. This wasn't my idea. You can blame my Dad. It was his idea to give him the Preggo-mones and the new plumbing. I was just the messenger. Dean felt a headache coming on. What was this asshole going on about?

"Will somebody just please explain to me what the _hell_ is going on?" He growled. Cas spoke up next to him.

"I would like to know, as well," He looked at his brother, that stoic seriousness on his features. "Gabriel, what does Father have to do with this?" Gabriel put his hands behind his back, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"_Well_ lil' bro. I wasn't completely honest when I said I didn't know what was going on with what Dad was thinking, bringing you back," He gestured to Dean. "_This,_ my dear brother, is part of your punishment,"

"Are you saying you made _this_ happen?" Dean gestured from himself to Cas, hoping the archangel would understand what he meant by 'this'. He also felt anger tighten in his chest. He hated it when people started fucking with his emotions.

Then again it could be a good thing. That meant he _wasn't_ going out of his fucking mind and there really _was _an explanation for the freaky thoughts going on in his head. He felt a little hopeful before he was shot down.

"We didn't make _this_ happen, Dean," Gabriel said, gesturing to the bed. _Wishful thinking I guess. . ._ "No, you were lusting for my little brother all on your lonesome, pal. We just made a few. . . _tweaks_," Dean narrowed his eyes, getting a strong sense of foreboding.

"What do you mean, _tweaks_?"

"Dean, we need to talk," Sam said, urgently. Dean felt himself starting to panic. Sam had that "I'm going to tell you something that is going to make you wish you hadn't woken up today" look on his face and Dean _hated_ that look because what followed was _never_ good.

"Sam, just spit it out already!" Sam looked down, frustration gathering in his brow, as though mentally preparing _himself_ for the news he was about to break to Dean. It was obvious that Busty Asian Beauties weren't going on tour any time soon.

"They've given you the ability to get pregnant," Castiel's eyes widened in shock and Dean frowned, mock laughing.

"Har har, seriously. Tell me what's going on," Sam huffed in irritation.

"I didn't believe it either, Dean but not even 10 minutes ago I was under the impression that you were straight and then _this_ happens," He gestured to the _'this'_ situation on the bed, desperately. "I don't know what to believe anymore," Dean pulled out his phone, hastily pressing the buttons. Cas looked at the other Winchester strangely. Sam cocked his head, confused. "Um, Dean?"

"Nope, not April Fools day. Sorry Sammy, you're too earl—"

"Dean, this is not a _joke_! I'm being serious, they _did_ something to you. Do you remember anything strange happening in the last few days that you couldn't understand?" Gabriel held a finger up and had a knowing expression on his face.

"When Gabriel kissed you," Cas said as though something had dawned in his mind. Dean glared at the angel next to him, silently rebuking him for telling the secret that was not to be told and Cas muttered an apology before speaking again. "I saw something get transferred into you, Dean. Maybe that's what changed. I think they're telling the truth," Dean felt his face start to twitch in random places, mortification spurring to life like a thousand worker bees on overdrive.

"Gabriel _kissed_ you, Dean?" Dean glared at Sam, shutting him up before he looked back at Cas.

"Then. . . What happened just last night with y-you. W-We. . . D-Did I?" Cas opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, sternly looking at Dean. The other angel in the room cleared his throat, signaling the others' attention.

"It's possible that a pregnancy didn't occur," Said Gabriel. "But it's more possible that it did, considering the. . . _magnitude _of recent events," He stated, winking at the oldest Winchester. Dean blushed a furious shade of red. He bit his lip, trying not to freak out.

It wasn't working.

"No no no no nononono_no_. . ." He stood up, forgetting about clothes, and paced around the room, gripping his head. Sam stood up, going towards his brother.

"D-Dean—"

"—Shut up, Sam! _You_," He stopped at Gabriel, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "Undo this. _NOW_!"

"I can't, pretty boy. You might want to buy a pregnancy test,"

"Oh fuck you!" The archangel grinned and Dean shoved him away, grabbing his brown leather jacket from the closet, and before they knew it he was out the door.

Castiel watched as Dean exited the room, slamming the door behind him. Dean was obviously very distressed about the whole matter, considering he had forsaken his clothes. Cas would have comforted him if he only knew how. He was just as shocked as he was, well perhaps not as mortified. He was, however, very confused.

He'd heard anecdotes of Fallen angels procreating with humans, but never had there been occurrences of angels with full on Grace doing so. Sure full-fledged angels would fornicate with humans, but until now it was believed that angels couldn't get humans pregnant. As far as Castiel knew, he was still a full angel. He had his Grace and his wings. He was fully able. He shouldn't be getting humans pregnant any time soon. Especially not a male.

But here he was, Gabriel talking about how he and Father had given Dean the ability to become so. Dean was upset about this. What human male _wouldn't_ be? Not only is he suddenly at risk of getting pregnant, but the possibility of his least favorite person in the world right now being the cause of it? It was just too much for one man to handle.

Castiel was clothed in the blink of an eye and he stood out of bed.

"God has arranged the new organs inside of Dean to be susceptible to your Grace, Cassie. Normally an angel couldn't get a female human pregnant. But if it's set up a certain way, to be vulnerable to Grace, then it is possible. As your retribution for sinning so profoundly, you are to father the child of a new race of nephilim. It's almost rewarding, isn't it?" Before Gabriel knew it, he was forced up against the wall.

"And in what way does this concern Dean Winchester, Gabriel? Why is he involved so severely in this matter? This affects him more than it does me. It's not fair to him. He has nothing to do with this!" Gabriel grinned, wickedly.

"Oh, but he has everything to do with this, Castiel. God works in mysterious ways, remember?" Castiel bared his teeth and shoved Gabriel to the side, disappearing in an angry flutter. He needed to find Dean.

It wasn't difficult. He appeared in the foyer and there was an uproar about a streaking man. Castiel steeled his lip, looking for Dean, but he must have been in hiding. Dean really preferred to wear clothes in public.

"Pssst!" He heard coming from somewhere behind him. Castiel looked around, and upon hearing another whispered sound, he looked behind a desk to find Dean crouched behind it, covering himself with his jacket.

"Dean—"

"Shhh!" Dean pulled the angel into crouching next to him. "Will you just zap me some clothes and then out of here? I don't think I can show my face in this joint ever again," Cas nodded and did so, flying them to the park down the block. They appeared on the park bench. The same one where they'd had many failed Wing-Seeing practices.

There were children playing in the unseasonably warm weather. It was like spring was all around, however, it did nothing to compliment the dark mood that his companion was in right now. Cas looked over to him. Deans eyes were downcast, his shoulders tight with stress and anxiety. There were so many things Dean could defy. You could kill a werewolf or a shifter with silver, you could burn a ghost's bones with salt, you could cut off a vampire's head, you could even curb your own destiny if you tried hard enough, but you couldn't go against God's Will.

"I'm so freakin' confused Cas. Why are these things happening to me?" Cas sighed.

"I don't know what my father is thinking. It's very reckless and it's a burden on you that you don't deserve," Dean shook his head.

"Not just that, though. I mean this whole thing. Ever since you came back I've been having these weird. . . _feelings_. Like I don't know how to describe it. I mean there's the thing that happened last night but before that I was going weird too. I know I've never been gay, everyone knows that. But then you. . . You pulled me out of hell and just made everything weird. And then you started everything with your cluelessness and your shiny crap. . . then s-stuff happened. . . now I'm possibly p-preg-Gah I can't even say it!" Castiel looked at the red-faced Dean, feeling remorseful for all the mental anguish he'd been suffering.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you to be uncomfortable," Dean rubbed his eyes with his palms in frustration.

"Nah, it's not because of you. . .Well it _is_ because of you but it's more like. . . it's _because_ of you. You get it?" Cas shook his head. . . finding himself more and more lost with every word that came out of Dean's mouth. Dean groaned. "I hate English. It's so hard to describe this shit," Dean looked up to the blue sky and sighed. "Well it doesn't really matter right now. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm losing myself all the time,"

"I don't know if this will comfort you, but you're still the same to me as when we first met, Dean," Dean looked at him, and if Cas wasn't mistaken, he could have sworn there was a quirk of a smile playing on the elder Winchester's lips—Those pink lips that he'd kissed so thoroughly the previous night. He wanted to feel it again. Dean was so enticing. His beautiful, lightly-tanned skin and dark green eyes. Every line, every feature was so perfectly placed. It was tragic that someone so perfect had suffered through so much angst on a regular basis. It was no wonder Dean would often seek the thrills of spontaneous intercourse. It was a great distraction. He had sex with every large breasted female he met who would have him.

Cas felt an unpleasant feeling curl in his gut. Those girls could make him forget for a night, but during the day Dean would be faced with reality again. Why did Dean have to suffer at all? Castiel wanted to make Dean forget about all the bad things in the world. He wanted Dean to be happy, something the others probably didn't care about. Castiel wanted to do something for Dean. He would make everything right, even this. . . pregnancy business.

_Somehow_, he vowed, _ somehow I'll right the mistakes I've made and I'll make you happy, Dean Winchester._

"I will figure this out, Dean. I won't make you suffer on my behalf, I promise"

"Well, we have time until we even know if there's a problem right? It usually takes a few weeks for people to be able to. . . to _t-tell_," Dean stuttered, looking as though he would be sick. Cas stood up and took his hand.

"Don't worry. I'll make it right. I need to talk to my Father. I'll return by the end of the day—"Dean grabbed Castiel's shoulder, opening his mouth to speak.

"U-Um… About er. . . Last night?"

"Was my performance not satisfactory?" Dean shook his head furiously, a red tinge playing on his face.

"I-It's not that, I—It was definitely satisfac—I mean, what I'm trying to say is I think it would be best if we just. . . you know—" Oh. Based on Dean's previous reactions with sexual contact with Castiel, this would be where he dismissed the act as if never happening. For some reason this made that unpleasant feeling in Castiel's gut grow even more unpleasant.

"You want me to forget that it happened. . ." Dean clapped him on the back, grin spreading on his face.

"I knew you'd get better at this context-reading thing. I'm proud of you. So yeah, I don't know if it'll be easy to forget, but you know it was just an accident. . . heat of the moment kind of thing. Look, I just don't want things getting. . . _weird _between us. What do you think?" Castiel was currently asking himself that same question.

What did he think? Well, he wasn't entirely sure. This seemed like a perfectly reasonable request from Dean, but Castiel found it difficult to be compliant.

On one hand, he could understand the allure of preserving their friendship status as-is. It was familiar and mutually agreeable to the both of them, with little to no uncertainties. But then on the other, Castiel admitted that he was captivated by this new sexual element to their relationship that was introduced last night. He actually quite enjoyed it, if he were to be one-hundred percent honest.

What would happened if they delved deeper into this new aspect of their relationship? Castiel was endlessly intrigued at the prospect of doing so, but upon seeing the desperation in the other man's face, he would have to put these newfound desires to investigate the unknown on the proverbial back burner. He knew that Dean had an affixation with familiarity. It was comfortable and safe, and Dean would question himself less if it were not to change.

Yes, Castiel would stifle his curiosity in favor of respecting Dean's wishes. If remaining platonic friends would make Dean happy, then Castiel would honor that.

"I have no objection, Dean. We're still comrades as we've always been. Nothing has changed," But as the angel said this, he couldn't place where the pain in his chest was originating from. . . .He couldn't understand why his voice got thicker and his heart rate sped up. Was he sick? Was that even possible?

He tried to heal himself with his Grace, but to no avail. Maybe it was something Gabriel did.

Deciding he didn't want to do much more thinking, he took flight.

Dean stood back, a bit taken-aback by the abrupt departure of his friend. He'd been worried about this talk since he woke up, but Cas was taking it in stride. Dean knew there were only so many times he could ask someone to forget that something Dean did by accident, this kind of thing happening more and more often, but Castiel didn't have anything to say against it, which was both contenting and disturbing at the same time. He could have sworn there was a bit of sadness in those blue eyes as Cas agreed. It was probably best that he didn't dive too deep into that. . .

Now the next problem was what he saw last night. He saw Castiel's wings. This, however, wasn't the problem. It was the implications that were the problem.

Castiel had always said that, when their bond was complete, Dean would be able to see his wings. But the fact that he only saw them for the first time while they were having sex, implied that this wasn't the kind of bond that meant they were BFFs. No, this was the kind of bond that meant serious business, like they just might be becoming _more_ than just best friends. . .

Dean felt chills go up his spine at the thought. _No._ He thought. _There's no way that can ever happen. It was just a spur of the moment thing. Even if it was with another dude, it's the same as all those other girls. It was just sex. Nothing more, nothing less._

Dean nodded to himself, ignoring the annoying voice in the back of his mind trying to object to what he'd just told Cas. Maybe it was a little harsh, and he was sorry if the angel wasn't one-hundred percent gun-ho on the acting-as-though-nothing's-changed deal, but he couldn't make himself step through that door. He just couldn't, because, if he did, he wasn't entirely sure if he would come out in one piece.

So he wouldn't tell Cas about Seeing his wings. Not right now, anyways.

Dean looked up to the sky, wondering if the angel was in Heaven by now. "I'm sorry Cas. . ." He whispered, hoping somehow Cas would hear the apology and forgive him. He just wanted everything to go back to normal.

::

**a/n: **Okay I'm done editing this chapter now. It didn't come out like I wanted it to at all. . . But maybe you'll see it differently than me? Ugh. . . Don't like it. Anyways since only ONE person participated in helping me rename this story, the winner title is **Seeing in Black**! See you next chapter, folks! **Updates are gonna slow down a bit, seeing as I've caught up with myself, however reviews will encourage me to write faster! **


	6. The Headless Horseman

**Ch. 6 The Headless Rider**

**a/n:** Hello! Welcome to chapter six of Seeing In Black. This chapter is starring Dean, and sorry about last chapter. I forgot that lines weren't ffnetable lol. I'll just be using :: for any break/POV change from now on. Anyways I just want to say thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them. I have a small following now which makes me happy :). Looooong chapter ahead folks. . . brace yourselves.

**Chapter warning(s): Language, angst, violence, talk of male pregnancy, light smut. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or KQ92 I only borrow Eric Kripke's wonderful characters.**

**::**

_She was running, the ominous pattering of hoof prints in the distance growing ever nearer. It was cold and rainy and she could feel her body start to tremor but she couldn't feel it with the thud of adrenaline rushing in her ears. All Margaret could think about at the moment was her husband and the children and how she wished she could have handled things differently. She knew she wouldn't get the chance again._

_The hooves drew ever so close and the air turned bitter cold. She could see the puffs of her breath escaping her mouth and frost starting to form on the grass beneath her feet. Unable to move anymore, she turned around to stare at the front quarters of an enormous, black steed—it's eyes glowing a fiery red. Straddling the horse was a figure of a man shrouded in black, a traveler's cloak billowing about him. She turned her emerald gaze upward to see the rider's face but funny thing was, the rider didn't have a face. He didn't have a head at all. And no wonder! He was carrying it under his left arm. _

_The head looked as though it had once been a handsome man, but now the head was decaying and rotted, his mouth stitched together at the sides. It was emitting a glow that illuminated the forest around them. _

_All the shock and terror the girl would have felt was swallowed by the cold sensation of remorse. All of her transgressions resurfacing in her mind, mingling and blending together until it turned into a revolting culmination of evil. 'This is the end' Margaret thought to herself. 'Everything I've sacrificed. All the people I've hurt. This is where it ends." She was almost happy._

"_Yes, I will now incorporate the darkness inside of you within my body. Your spirit, however, will no longer be able to exist in this world." The disembodied voice was steadfast, male, and undeniably alluring. However, no words escaped the lips of the head under it's arm. It was as though the voice was only heard in her head. He reached a leather gloved hand along the side of his horse and pulled out what seemed to be a whip made of bones, the confiscated spine of a skeleton. "At last, your suffering ends here, Margaret Jason," The last thing he said, her name, was definitely spoken from the head cradled under his arm. _

_The dull thud of a body hitting the ground echoed softly in the forest. A pale hand rest against the heart of a beautiful woman with red hair, a small smile on her face as she lay cold in the grass._

::

The next day was like a roller coaster for Dean. At first chance, the Winchesters headed as far south as they could to get away from the police trying to hunt down the pervert that caused the disturbance at the Holiday Inn (i.e. Dean Winchester). Not only were the awkward silences between he and his brother driving him insane, but he hadn't heard hide nor hair of Castiel yet. He was starting to wonder if the angel really was upset with him after all.

Well it's not like you could blame Dean for what he said, right? What normal straight guy would want to acknowledge the fact that he just threw away all of his scruples and slept with a man? It was a normal reaction! And if Cas couldn't understand that, well, then it was probably better if they didn't talk anyways.

At least, that's what Dean kept telling himself.

They avoided the main highways, opting instead to go the back ways. Where they were going, they didn't know, they just knew they needed to get out of state, and fast. Dean was currently driving, and trying to get into the groove of one of his favorite songs on KQ92, but he just wasn't feeling it. He was certain Sam knew how uneasy he was at the moment, but he hadn't mentioned it until now.

"Dean, maybe we should talk abou—"

"No." Sam sighed in frustration.

"Come on, man. A lot of crazy shit has happened in the past couple days. We need to sort it out, you know that," Dean rolled his eyes. Leave it to Sammy Winchester to play Mr. Voice of Reason.

"I _really_ am not feeling up to soap operas right now, little bro,"

"You know you're wondering about Cas, I am too. I think we need to figure out where to go from here. I mean, we don't even know if you're pre—"

"Don't even say it!" Dean snapped. This was the _last _thing Dean wanted to talk about right now. Sam rolled his eyes and threw his head back

"You have to acknowledge that we need to start discussing it, man. It's serious we have to figure out a course of action if that's what happened. It's not something we can ignore, Dean. You know this," Of course Dean fucking _knew_ it, but that didn't mean he needed to be all mature about it just yet. Dean veered off the road and slammed on the breaks, turning to Sam.

"How would you feel if suddenly you were told that you had the ability to get pregnant, you just slept with the _dude-slash-angel_ that you're pissed at one hundred times over, and now said _dude-slash-angel_ has just up and disappeared?" Sam didn't say anything, just bore into Dean with his equally green eyes with sympathy that annoyed the shit out of him.

Dean gripped his forehead in his hands and threw his head back against the seat. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted to see Cas and he was freaking right the fuck out right now. Sam didn't understand just how horrifying this all was. Last week he was straight and completely baby-proof, but now it was all backwards and nothing made sense anymore.

"Look, Dean—"

"Sam I said—"

"Just listen to me, dammit!" Dean looked at his brother, a bit startled at the anger in his voice. Sam took a deep breath. "I know that right now you're more uncertain about things than you ever have been before. There's a ton of shit that's weighing you down and you're feeling things that you never dreamed of feeling. It's freaking you out, I get that. I know I couldn't fathom all the stress that's on your shoulders right now but you can't just bear it all by yourself. I know you don't want to do it, but you need to rely on me, and you need to rely on Cas too. You're going to crack if you don't and we both know that Winchesters going crazy is _not_ a good thing," Sam looked off to the side a moment before looking back to Dean. "Lucifer says hi, by the way," Dean's mouth was parted slightly as he looked at his brother in awe.

Well hot damn, Sam might be on to something here. He exhaled and ran his hand through his hair, trying to compose himself. "Maybe I should try calling Cas," He conceded. Sam nodded.

"Probably a good idea," Dean cleared his throat.

"Eh-hem. Castiel, I pray that you come here and um. . . please?" Suddenly there was a flutter of wings and Dean looked back to see Castiel, looking rather irritated.

"I thought you would never call." He said, then looked at Sam in question. Sam shrugged.

"He made me promise not to call until he said it was ok. I figured you guys needed a bit of a break after being cooped up with each other for nearly a week," Castiel's lips tightened and he turned his attention back to Dean.

"Dean, I've been worried. How are you?"

"I've had better days I guess. Still trying to wrap my mind around the whole. . . well you know. Did you talk to your Dad by the way?" Cas sighed.

"He would not see me. Nobody will tell me where I can find him either. All the angels in heaven are rather. . . adverse towards me. I found myself in a few. . . disagreements,"

"Are you alright?" Sam asked, concerned.

"I am fine. I just wish I had some answers," Cas looked up to meet Dean's eyes. The angel didn't look happy at all and Dean felt his gut wrench because he was certain that this was partly his fault.

_Hell, it's not like it's my fault that this all happened anyways. There's no reason for me to be feeling guilty. . . _

Dean told himself that, but as he looked into Castiel's emotion-filled blue eyes, he couldn't help but feel like something was horribly wrong. Sam cleared his throat, breaking their eye contact.

"Ah-hem. . . We should probably get moving? They're still looking for us. . ."

"R-Right," Dean said nervously. He put the car into drive and they were soon heading off into the cold sunset.

::

The boys found themselves in a small town of McLeansboro, Illinois, staying at some crappy motel. Dean and Cas hadn't really spoken since he'd joined them, which was really making Dean uneasy. The angel would barely even acknowledge Dean's presence and it was really starting to get on the hunter's nerves.

What was really annoying was that Sam was catching onto the obvious tension between the two. Every time Dean would say something to Cas, only to have him nonchalantly brush the older hunter off, Sam would give Dean this _look_. It was the look that said "I'm reading into this situation and we're going to have a big, soap opera-esque, talk-it-out session if you don't fix it by yourself,". Dean ground his teeth, he really hated that.

He also hated that this hotel only had one towel in a two-queen room. Come _on_ people.

"I need some extra towels," The eldest Winchester said, grumpily. The lady, big, curly haired and cranky just glared. Dean cleared his throat and spoke louder. "I need some towels. . ." She glared harder. Dean gritted his teeth. "I need some towels, _please_?" The woman smiled wide, bearing her teeth of which Dean noticed she was missing a few.

"Well why didn't you say so? I'll be right back with that," Dean crossed his arms, tapping his foot impatiently while leaning against the desk. He could really do without lessons in mannerisms, thank you very much. Suddenly a woman, tall and blonde, accompanied by a child that looked like her but only about a foot or so shorter, obviously her son, walked out into the lobby. The boy looked really put out, the mother, annoyed.

"But I _saw_ it!"

"I'm going to go off on your dad for letting you watch horror movies before you go to bed." The boy stomped his foot.

"But it was _real_. He was riding a horse and he didn't even have a head! It was wicked awesome!"

"Look Benjamin, there's no such thing as headless horsemen. Really, I didn't even know we had that movie!"

"We don't! I don't even know what movie you're talking about," Dean cocked a brow at this. Of course it's that movie with Johnny Depp she was talking about. It wasn't _that _old. Kids these days. Don't even know their history.

"And now you're lying!" The boy glared at his mom in frustration.

"It was _real_ mom. Even Dad saw it. He just told you he didn't so you wouldn't think he was crazy. You know I bet that's how that president lady got killed!"

"Okay that's enough! I don't want to hear anymore about this headless man. And show a little respect, honestly! Come on now," The woman ushered the boy out the door and Dean watched them leave. That was a bit weird. That kid didn't seem like he was lying but kids were kids after all. They could convince themselves _anything_ was real. But a mysterious murder in a small town with rumors about a headless horseman? Sounded like the beginning of a great distraction.

::

"Margaret Jason, President of the Donations sector of Public Department for Homeless Women and Children. She was recently indicted on counts of embezzlement and fraud of the trust funds. She'd wriggled her way out of them, however she is—_was_ going through a divorce for admitted adultery. The courts weren't in her favor and her husband was about to get everything," Dean snorted.

"Well it's no contest for the guy now. He's gonna be comfortable for a few years,"

"That's the thing. The husband is currently donating all of his and his deceased wife's assets to the organization,"

"_Aww_, a boyscout," Sam snapped his laptop shut.

"Anyways, she was found dead in the forest. No evidence of foul play, or any clues as to how she died. Apparently her body just. . . _stopped_,"

"That's weird," Dean said.

"Yeah, and get this. She had a _smile on her face_. Like she was the happiest woman in the world when she died,"

"Weirder. . ."

"I don't know about this headless horseman business, but think it's at least worth checking out?" Dean grinned.

"I'm always up for a job, Sammy-boy," Sam looked away for a moment before turning back to his brother, concern in his eyes.

"Look, Dean about the Plan," Dean bit his cheek, he'd been hoping Sam would have forgotten about that. "Gabriel told me about your. . . _progress,_" No such luck, Dean supposed. He steeled himself before answering.

"And what did he tell you, Sam?" Sam sucked in a breath before clapping his hands against the edge of the table.

"He said that you can See Cas's wings, Dean. I was going to wait for you to tell me yourself, but it was starting to seem like you were just going to leave out that little piece of information,"

"Look, it's not like it's important until the Leviathans start to move, right? Can we just keep it on the down low for now?" Sam stared at him, not impressed. Dean's lips tightened in irritation. "Please?"

"It's up to you, bro, but you might want to talk to Gabriel, he's the one who told me,"

"Right. . ." Sam stood up, grabbing his coat. "Where are you off to?"

"To the local library. I have some research to do. Why don't you head to town and get some intel?"

"Right," Sam grabbed the keys to the car and headed out.

"What's this about secrets and deceit I smell?" Dean looked to see Grabriel leaning against the wall behind him. He grinned disdainfully, still wanting to pummel the archangel for eavesdropping.

"Speak of the devil,"

"I understand you want to keep your recent—Achievements from my little brother?"

"More or less," Gabriel grinned, walking over to Dean.

"Why, pray tell? Wasn't the ability to See all part of secluding yourselves together?" Dean stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to give Gabriel any funny ideas, so he had to choose his words carefully.

"I have my reasons, Gabriel. Look I just don't want any. . . misunderstandings?"

"You don't want to give him the idea that you are able to see his wings because you just maybe, very possibly have developed feelings for him?"

"Based on the fact that such a thing is completely and utterly unimaginable, no. I don't want him to take it the wrong way. It just happened, there's no underlying meaning about it or anything, so wipe that stupid smirk off your face before I take it off myself,"

"Ooh, scary. I'm shaking in my little winged booties," Dean glared, not amused. Gabriel rolled his eyes, holding up his hands. "Alright, alright! I won't tell Cassie that you have a big fat crush on hi—I mean that you saw his wings when he was fucking your brains ou—Oh come on that's what happened! But yeah, yeah your secret's safe with me, Dean-o, but it'll cost ya,"

"Of course it will. . ." Dean muttered, bitterly.

"Don't worry, it's nothing big, but my lil bro has been all pissy lately and it's probably your fault. So I want you to make it right. Castiel is broody enough, but when he actually has a reason to be, it's insufferable. So fix whatever you did to make him into a pouty, pouty princess and I'll keep your secret. Not too difficult, right?" Was Cas really that beat up about what Dean had said? Ugh, he would probably want to fix it even without Gabriel swearing to secrecy.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. I'll handle it. You promise you won't say anything about me seeing his. . .his wings right? I'll tell him myself when I have to."

"Scout's honor," Gabriel held up the boyscout sign and promptly disappeared. Dean gripped his temple, already having a bad feeling about this. He wasn't worried about Cas overhearing anything, Cas said he was going to try to talk to his Dad again, but he just felt uneasy about the whole thing, like maybe he should just man-up and tell him.

Nah. . . That would be too much for Dean Winchester to handle right now.

::

Cas was back later that day, unsuccessful with his quest to speak to his father. He'd mentioned how perhaps they should try the Plan again, but Dean quickly vetoed it, saying how they were going to do a job in this town, or rather, seeing if there even was a case to be done. There was no point in secluding himself with Cas when he could already See.

Not that he was going to let Castiel know that. . .

Unsuccessful at bringing up the issue between he and Cas, Dean broke the awkward silence that followed by dismissing himself to go gather some information, also known as going to the bar, probably getting some lifewater and possibly scoring a date. Dean grinned, grabbing his leather jacket and excusing himself.

He found the nearest pub in record time, seeing as the town itself wasn't very huge. Sam had the car, so he was walking, but he didn't mind it. The early morning air was fresh and cool and he didn't mind a little scenery every now and then.

The citizens of McLeansboro were, as Dean soon discovered, more than hospitable as his first round of drinks were bought for him as a welcome into the community and to honor St. Patrick's day. He sidled up to the bartender, a pretty little blonde in a tank top.

"New here in town?" She asked, her chocolate eyes telling him that yes, she was definitely single. What a flirty thing.

"Yep, here with my brother Alex on a road trip to New York. Just passing through," Dean pulled out his phone and discreetly texted Sam to let him know his new name.

"And do you have a name, mister popular?"

"Nathan Murphy. And what is a pretty girl like yourself doing working in a place like this?" She smiled, a wide, brilliant smile and reached for her towel. She began to wipe the bar, her eyes never leaving Dean's.

"This _place_ belongs to my Dad. I help out on the weekends. He doesn't want me to get too distracted while I'm in college," Uh oh, Daddy's girl. Dean had better not get too. . ._close. _Sounded like he might be a bit too controlling for Dean's likes. She probably wasn't even on the market yet! Probably best to keep it to business.

"Sounds like you're on a tight leash. Look, I'm doing some research for this article I'm writing. Anything strange happen here recently?" The girl smiled, gripping the bar.

"_Well_, have you heard of the legend of the headless horseman that's been spotted around here?"

"Headless? That sure makes riding a horse difficult, don't you think?"

"Well maybe for the living. This one's dead as a doornail. They say it's the ghost of this guy named. . . Leaky? Lakey I think! Anyways, legend has it that he was beheaded over a hundred years ago and now he's back for revenge. His first victim was just last week. Her name was Margaret Jason, President of some charity group. She was apparently skulking around in the woods, some passerby hunter and his son said they saw something strange, and when they found her she was dead." No doubt it was the boy from earlier that she was talking about. That was enough for now.

"Interesting. Well I think I've reached my limit," The girl reached in her apron, pulled out a pen and hastily scribbled a number on a nearby napkin. She grinned at Dean.

"Call me. I can tell you much more interesting things," Dean nodded, smiling but feeling a bit sick for some reason. He took off back to the hotel.

::

"You're back,"

"Yeah, I think there might be something to this Sammy. Some poor bastard named Lakey got his noggin lopped off, so headless ghost has a body. It seems pretty legit,"

"Yeah I read about it at the historic library. Seems he was killed by his stepson, probably over property. The property which includes a creek that runs straight through those woods that Mrs. Jason was offed in. Looks like we might have a real case on our hands."

"Not only that, but there's been another murder," Both boys jumped before turning to see Cas standing behind them. Dean exhaled.

"Can't you knock or something? You're gonna give me a heart attack!" Cas glared at him.

"Perhaps such an event could be avoided if you changed your poor eating habits," Dean resisted pouting, not liking the bite in Castiel's voice. Sam stood up.

"There's been another?"

"Yes, the victim was also found in the woods as Margaret Jason was. The victim this time is male, middle aged and had the same contented smile on his face with no visible signs of foul play. There is definitely something strange going on." Dean pouted, not liking being ignored. He stood up, slightly shoving his brother to the side.

"Well then what are we waiting for. We got some murder investigating to do. Sam why don't you stay here and do a background check on Lakey? Me and Cas can handle this,"

"I would prefer it if Sam came alo—" Dean looked at Sam meaningfully, hoping he would get that he wanted to spend some time with Cas to see if he could work out their issues. Luckily his little bro was nothing if not a brainiac.

"I think that would be best also, Cas. Lucifer constantly playing mind games with me makes being on the field really difficult. It's probably best for me to be on the sidelines at this point. No, you two can handle it," Cas was visibly gritting his teeth, but Dean was grateful. He wanted to make things right with the angel. It wasn't fair to either of them. Dean clapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders, not liking the way the angel tensed beneath him.

"Now let's get this party started,"

::

Castiel and Dean appeared next to the morgue, clad in FBI garb and equipped with fake IDs. They were taken to the coroner and asked to see the bodies.

"I am agent Murphy and this is my partner Hobbs. We would like to see the bodies of the two recent victims, Margaret Jason and Jeremy Levi." The coroner snorted, but moved to the chambers anyways, pulling out the two victims from their drawers.

"Not much to see here, boys. Both Mrs. Jason and Mr. Levi have no signs of injury or bodily harm,"

"You've run an autopsy on Mrs. Jason?" Cas asked.

"Yep, she was as healthy as a horse, a scheming conniving horse, but a healthy one nonetheless." The doctor stood back, looking at her body, shaking his head. "Can't seem to put my finger on why she would have such a random cardiac arrest. She looked very peaceful, no signs of stress. It's very peculiar,"

"And Mr. Levi?" Dean asked.

"The same. Now I could let the one victim go, call it a fluke, but the man died on the very same terms. He was a little older than her, but there were no alarming medical issues. It's very strange. I haven't run an autopsy on him yet, but I've got an inkling it'll turn up clear as well," Dean took a look at the woman's peaceful face. She might as well have been sleeping. The man next to her looked the same.

"What can you tell me about Mr. Levi?" Dean asked, noticing the badge that was in a bag next to him.

"I believe he was the gym teacher at the local middle school,"

"Gym teacher. . . Any. . . foul play in his career that you know of? Any reason that somebody wouldn't be very happy with him?"

"Well, I heard that there had been a few. . . complaints,"

::

Dean pressed "end" on his phone. He'd told Sam to make some calls to the school and find out what discrepancies there could be about Mr. Levi. As far as the older hunter was concerned, it was chow time. He and Cas found an old diner at the edge of town and decided to visit. Dean always loved coming to new places. It was like Russian roulette; Either the food was legendary, or he'd be destined for the toilet for the rest of the night.

Maybe this would give him time to work things out with Cas. Now, if Dean were an awkward conversation, how would he start off?

"Do you think the gym teacher has some dirty skeletons like that Jason woman?" He asked, figuring they'd talk about work first.

"It seems logical enough. We'll just have to wait for the call back from Sam to know for sure."

"Right. . ." Okay, there was obviously no easy way to do this. "Look. . . Cas. About the other day—"

"I thought this discussion was over," Cas said, a hint of bitterness in his deep voice. His blue eyes were downcast to the plate of food he hadn't even touched. Not that he really needed to eat anyways. But usually Cas at least ate just to seem human to everyone surrounding.

"Come on, Cas. . . I know something's bothering you," Dean reached out to grab his hand, but Cas pulled away abruptly. Dean felt a stab of pain go straight to his chest at that.

"I'm fine, Dean. Are you finished?"

"You're not fine. . . Look if it's what I said about forgettin—"

"I'm _fine_!" Cas snapped, effectively silencing Dean. Dean sat in his seat, mouth open and shocked at the burst of anger in the angel's voice. Castiel looked away, frustration knitting his brow. "I don't want to talk about this with you. I'm heading back." The angel stood up and left, not looking back at Dean before exiting out the door.

"Fuck. . . " There was no way Cas was fine. He must have really screwed this up somehow. Dean threw his napkin on the table and lifted up his hand to grab the attention of the waitress.

"Check please,"

::

"Levi was a pedophile?" When Dean had shown up back at the motel, at least fifteen minutes after Cas, Sam gave him a questioning look. If he had fixed things, why were they coming home separately?

"Well that's certainly how it's looking. There'd been multiple complaints by the girls that Mr. Levi would be a little too touchy feely. There were a group of parents ready to file a formal complaint against him," Dean snorted.

"Well problem solved, I guess,"

"It looks like whatever's doing this is picking off America's most despicable one by one,"

"You realize this isn't exactly a bad thing. The headless guy is obviously a good judge of character," Sam looked at his brother, unimpressed.

"As far as we know, Dean, but what if it becomes like that Egyptian God? We know what happens when we let a ghost do the judging. We're going to have to stop it,"

"Yeah yeah, I know. So do we even know what it is?" Sam pulled over his laptop, facing it towards Dean and Cas. Dean noticed the distance that Cas put between them and felt mildly irritated by it.

"I think it's a dullahan,"

"A dulla-what?" Sam sighed.

"A dullahan. There's an Irish legend of a headless horseman—or woman that frequented the cities during Irish festivals. It's said that a dullahan is a messenger of death itself. Apparently the only time they stop riding is when someone is about to die,"

"Irish festivals. . ." Cas started.

"It's St. Patrick's day. . . figures," Dean finished. Cas glared at him, still obviously angry. Dean looked back to Sam, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Well how do we kill it?"

"Well it says that dullahan have an irrational fear of gold. It doesn't say anything about how to kill it, but I'm guessing we take our best shot with a stake of gold and stab it in the heart—or head. Whatever works,"

"So where are we gonna get our hands on a stake of gold?"

"We could rob a bank and make one out of a gold bar. . ." Dean shook his head.

"Is that honestly the best you can come up with?"

"I'll be back," Dean looked beside him and Cas was gone. It was only a few seconds before he returned, a gold bar in hand.

"As long as we're only borrowing it," Cas steadied his fingers above it and the gold morphed itself into a stake. Sam raised his eyebrows, impressed.

"Well that's taken care of. Now all we need to do is find it. Do we have any leads?"

"Well there's the family that's staying here. The one that I overheard talking about it. Maybe if I can get a word in with the boy or his father," Sam snorted, leaning back.

"If you can get past the mother. I tried talking to him and she nearly ran to the police,"

"I'm sure we can make her. . . cooperate

::

"I'm going for a dip in the pool. I'll be back and we can order pizza, ok? Don't answer the door for anyone," Benjamin sat in front of the TV, playing the N64 that was currently set up. A minute or so after his mom left there was a knock at the door. Benjamin stood up and looked out the peek-hole to see who it was.

Dean and Cas stood outside, seeing the movement behind the hole. When it appeared that the kid wasn't going to open the door, Dean cleared his throat.

"Um, Don't be afraid, Benjamin was it? We're with the police. We just want to ask a few questions about that headless horseman you and your dad saw,"

"I already talked to the police, they didn't believe me!"

"Well we're special police, we believe you," It was a moment and then the door opened. The kid was wide eyed and in awe.

"You guys believe me?"

"Of course, now can we come in?" The kid stood back and Castiel and Dean entered. He closed the door, locking it behind him.

"My mom doesn't like me talking about it, so I don't want her to catch me,"

"Of course. Now, I understand that you and your dad were hunting in the woods when you saw it?"

"My dad wanted to teach me how to hunt, and that's when we heard a woman scream. My dad told me to stay there, hidden but I followed him. We were by a creek and that's when we saw it. The woman ran past and she was followed by a man on a horse, only he didn't have a head you guys! It was insane, right? But my dad saw it like I did, and then it was so weird, my dad has had trouble seeing out of his right eye ever since," Sam had mentioned that people who see the rider on a run will either get a pail of blood dumped on them or will lose their sight in one eye.

"Do you think you can tell us where you and your father saw the horseman?" The boy sat, looking as though he was thinking real hard.

"I don't know exactly, but there was a small stream next to where we were at. I remember seeing an old shed nearby too," Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Benjamin? It's your dad," The kid jumped and then whispered.

"Hide in the closet!" Dean and Cas nodded as the boy ushered them into the cramped closet. "Coming!" They shut the door and stayed perfectly still.

"Should we leave?" Cas asked, way too close to Dean for comfort. They were practically flush together. Dean shivered, wanting to say yes but maybe they could get more info.

"Wait, maybe he'll talk about it," There was the sound of the door opening and a man's footsteps as he walked inside.

"Where's mom?" He asked.

"She's swimming. Hey dad, you remember that night in the woods? You saw the horseman right? The one with no head?"

"Ben—"

"You saw it though, right? Why didn't you tell someone?" Dean shifted and he heard a soft grunt coming from behind him. He could feel himself pressed up against Cas, but he wasn't entirely sure which part. If he didn't know any better. . . He moved again, this time pressing himself harder against the spot. Cas inhaled sharply and Dean felt his face get hot. Something hard was starting to poke him in the rear.

Cas was getting hot. . . Dean didn't know what to think about this.

"I don't know what I saw Ben. Can we just not talk about it?"

"But more people are dying Dad. Don't you think it's your responsibility to let them know?"

"it's not! There's no such thing as headless horsemen, Ben. Obviously we were just tired,"

Dean bit his lip, this situation was in his control now. It wasn't often when he saw Cas in this state. Dean's curiosity on the matter is what started all of this in the first place. It was obvious that Cas was attracted to him sexually, so why couldn't he experiment a little? It would sate his interest in the matter and prove to be an entertaining way to pass the time. He shifted his ass so that Castiel's growing erection was pressed tightly between his cheeks and he ground on it. _Hard_.

"Hahh. . . Dean please stop moving. . . " Cas hissed in his ear, his breath hot, voice shaking with lust. Dean felt chills go up his spine.

"Sorry. . . " Dean shifted back, creating even more friction and he felt Cas grip Dean's shoulder, his breathing growing harsh. Dean felt an innate stroke of evil over take him and he started grinding harder back, the breathing in his ear growing harsher. "Something wrong?" He whispered, feeling arousal curl in his belly at the thought of having Cas at his mercy.

"It's. . . the way you're moving it's making it. . . very _hard_," Dean licked his lips, feeling his pants get tighter at the roughness in Castiel's voice. Yes it was very hard. . .

"Here. . ." Dean turned himself around, putting his hands on Cas's shoulders and pressed himself tightly against the other, propping his leg behind Cas and against the wall, making sure their groins were nicely pressed together. "better?" Dean rocked himself against Cas, feeling himself growing harder by the second as Castiel's breath came out hot against his neck. Why, oh why was horny Castiel so freakin' hot?

"Dean why are you doing this?. . ." Cas stiffened, not moving.

"Shh. . . you don't want them to hear do you?" Dean reached his hand down and grabbed Cas through his pants, making him gasp. "Just feel it. . ."

"Dean, stop!" Suddenly Dean felt himself fall to the ground, quite literally as he found himself outside the room next to a very irritated Castiel.

"Look, Dean. I don't know why you're doing this but I would appreciate if you didn't anymore. If you keep doing these kind of things, talking about it, what happened in there, it. . . makes it very difficult for me to keep my promise. Please, just leave me alone." And with that, the angel disappeared.

His promise. . . The promise that they would just be friends? Yeah that's what he'd wanted. But why did it feel so. . . so lonely? He missed laughing at the angel's antics and talking to him, but now, ever since that _promise,_ it felt as though Cas was pulling away. He wanted things to go back to how they were. He wanted to be close to Cas again. And what happened in the closet just now? That was. . . What was that anyways?

Dean wasn't horny until he felt Cas pressed tight against his back, until he heard that low groan from the other from the way Dean shifted against him. After that, all Dean could think about was making Cas feel good. . . He wanted to make Castiel hot like he did the other night. . .

Dean gripped his head in his hands. He was feeling things he'd never felt before, not about a man or even a woman really. It wasn't like him to be so intent on making his partner feel good, and he'd never felt like this towards a _man_! Well. . . technically this man was an _angel_ and by rights he was genderless, but he couldn't deny that his cock twitched when he found out that it was Castiel's dick pressed against his ass. . .

"Oh man. . . I am in some serious shit,"

"Do you need something?" Dean looked up to see the woman from earlier, Benjamin's mom. There was a towel wrapped around her, her hair was wet from swimming and she looked irritated.

"I was just," Dean got to his knees and started looking around. "trying to find my contact! Here it is!" Dean pretended to catch it on his finger and shove it into his eye. The woman raised a brow, not entirely convinced. "I'll be going. . ." Dean muttered before scrambling away.

::

Later that night, Sam was asleep and Cas hadn't returned since their fight. Dean was still uneasy about what Cas had said. He didn't want Cas to feel like he had to force himself to forget about what happened. It wasn't as big of a deal as Dean had made it seem. He mostly just didn't want to be constantly reminded of it, but it was growing increasingly obvious that Dean was pretty good at reminding himself about it all on his own.

Since he couldn't sleep anyways, he figured he'd go to the creek and check out the area. If he met the horseman he'd gank him and be done with it. At least he could look for some clues. Dean snuck out, taking the golden stake and some salt with him just to be careful.

The moon was bright, despite being only a crescent, so he didn't really need the flashlight he brought with him. He made his way into the forest swiftly and stealthily, trying not to cause too much commotion.

He found the creek not long after he entered the forest and he began to look for clues. Perhaps ol' Lakey was still buried around here somewhere. Maybe he could just torch the sucker and, voila! Problem solved.

It wasn't long before he found the old shed that the boy was talking about. It was filled with rusty old tools, probably a century old. There were cobwebs everywhere and the ground had no floor. But as he searched around outside, he was surprised to see a cross sticking out of the ground.

"Ol' Lakey, you have been causing so much trouble." Dean grabbed one of the rusty shovels inside the shed and started to dig. The sooner he could salt and torch the mother fucker the better.

When he struck gold, the decaying old skeleton in a heap at the bottom of the grave, he poured some salt from his pack, covering it and dropped a burning match inside. The flames burst to life, jumping out of the deep hole which surprised Dean. The fire shouldn't have been so huge. . .

That's when he heard it, hooves behind him slowing to a halt. Dean felt his heartbeat race but he put on a grin. Torching bones didn't work apparently.

"Lakey, how've you been?" Suddenly he felt his insides grow cold, frost form at his feet and he heard a voice inside his head. Dean turned, seeing the horseman, clad in black and on a black steed with red eyes. The man atop was headless and upon closer observance, realized the moldy, glowing thing he was carrying under his arm was the head in question.

_Life hasn't been kind to you. . ._

Suddenly memories. . . memories that he had hidden away never to be revisited were swimming to the surface. It was an onslaught that Dean couldn't prepare himself for. That Jessica got involved, that he couldn't protect Sam from his inner demon, that Jo and Ellen died, that he broke the first Seal that let Lucifer walk the Earth and is now torturing Sammy's mind. All of it was his fault. . . _all _of it, all of the people he cared for ended up hurt and it was all his fault. And now Cas was hurt and that was his fault too. . .

"How can I. . .How do I make it all right?"

_I can help you, I'll make it all right. Your friends and family, the people here. All of it will be righted if you come with me. You can earn their forgiveness this way. I just require your soul._

And he would. . . He would reverse it all, make it so Sam would never suffer with Lucifer and his demon blood, make it so Jo and Ellen never sacrificed himself, make it so Jessica was never involved in any of it. Sam would have a normal life and Dean. . . Well Dean wouldn't have been around to hurt Castiel in the first place.

It would fix it all. . .

"Yes. . ." The head under the horseman's arm opened it's decaying eyes.

_Rest in peace, Dean Winche—_

Suddenly there was a bright light emitting from the horseman's chest. It was impaled and Dean felt his body become warm again. He looked up to see Castiel behind him, the stake of gold in his hands and currently connected to the headless horseman's heart. The head dropped and was screaming a god awful scream, Dean watched as the horseman shattered into a billion pieces, the head soon following.

Cas fell to the ground, anger on his face and he came over and picked Dean up by his collar.

"Cas I'm sorry I didn't mean to—He had me in some sort of mind control I don't know wha—" But Dean was cut off when he was pulled into a tight embrace by Castiel. Dean felt a little awkward but he found he didn't mind it. He warily wrapped his arms around the angel's back, patting it a bit.

Castiel pulled away and looked at Dean intensely, emotion shimmering in his moonlit eyes.

"If I had come any later, one _second _and I wouldn't have been able to bring you back, Dean. That monster was immune to my Grace. . . He devours souls, Dean, I could have lost you. . ." Castiel embraced him tightly, gripping his jacket as though letting go might mean he'd lose him forever.

"Hey, I'm here right? Relax ok? The horseman's gone and we're okay," Dean pulled away to look into Cas's eyes, those deep blue eyes that looked more afraid than Dean had ever seen them. The hunter's heart wrenched and he bit his lip. The only person who'd ever looked at him like that was his mom. Dean looked away, not able to handle all these stupid emotions at once. "C-Can you tell me now why you've been avoiding me?" Cas sighed, stepping back but not letting go of Dean's arms.

"The last couple days have been very. . .difficult, Dean. I've been trying so hard to do as you asked but, Dean, I _can't_. I've tried so hard, but it's in vain. The other night was the most human I've ever felt and I don't want to forget it. It's by far the best memory I've ever had being on Earth. . . It's very special to me. Dean I don't want to forget anything that I do with you. . . I care about you too much," Dean felt his face turn up like fifty degrees. He pushed himself away.

"Sheesh don't say it like that. . . Man, you don't have to forget about it. I just said that 'cause I was scared and I didn't want to be reminded about it, it's not like I expected you to actually forget. I just meant that I didn't want our relationship to change because of it, you know? I still want you to be my friend and. . . anything else is really scary,"

"Anything else?" Dean bit his lip, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Like. . . a relationship like where. . . where we'd do that stuff regularly and. . . you know like a c-c-couple—I just can't handle that right now. . . I'm going through too much right now I can't." Dean rubbed his head with his hand, feeling more embarrassed with every word he spoke. "I don't even know how to handle the fact that I might not be one hundred percent straight," And he said it. . . Acknowledging it for the first time, Dean Winchester might not be hetero. Mind. Blown.

"Then what is it you want?" Dean bit his lip harder, he hadn't been able to think about this yet. It wasn't fair. . .

"Can't we just be like normal friends? Like we were before?" Cas stepped forward and grabbed Dean's shoulder, making the hunter face him..

"No, we can't." Dean's eyebrows shot up to his forehead and he felt pain bloom in his chest. That wasn't what he'd been expecting. "We can't be like before. . . I can't see you as just a friend anymore Dean. . . You're so much more than that to me. Dean I want to be the one that brings you eternal happiness," Dean shuddered as Cas stroked his cheek with his hand. "I think I'm falling in love with you. . ."

"Wh-What—?" Cas pulled him in—whatever the hunter would say next was cut off by a rough, soul-searing kiss that Dean had not expected. Castiel locked his lips on Dean's and held onto him tightly as he kissed him. Dean could feel the heat spread from his cheeks all the way to his neck and he had to stop his body from the trembling it was doing. Cas pulled back and looked deep into Dean's eyes and suddenly Dean felt his apprehension die and his eyes flutter closed as Cas kissed him softly on the lips over and over again, and for some reason his energy was being sucked away. . . Must have been because of the horseman.

"I want you to depend on me alone to make you happy in every way. . .and," Cas froze, moving his hand to Dean's stomach, pressing his palm flat against it. "Dean. . . There's a new Grace. . ."

"A-A n-n-new w-what?"

"Inside of you, I-I can sense Grace. Dean. . ." Dean looked into Castiel's eyes and was astounded when he found happiness there. No. . . No no no no no no no. . . This wasn't for real. . . He couldn't be. . .

He couldn't be pregnant. . . There was no fucking way.

::

**a/n: **Okay that's all the proofing I'm doing for this chapter. Sorry if there's blatant mistakes and/or plot holes, but I fixed the big ones I think lol. It's a super long chapter btw. . .I was going to split it into two parts but I couldn't find a good spot to end it. I can't believe I got it out. O_O it's cause of you! You guys are amazing and awesome and I love you. . . **Please review and I promise I'll make your time worthwhile :D**


	7. My Fair Lady

**Seeing In Black Ch. 7: **

**My Fair Lady**

**a/n:** SEE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED (insert list of excuses). I wrote this, well most of it. It got so very long and I couldn't think of a place to cut it off, and then I fell out of my Supernatural phase and then college and then Smosh happened so it ended up being delayed a VERY long time (procrastinationavoidancelazi nessplayedaparttoo). But I'm back for now. I have at least 13 more chapters planned, so I hope this goes well.

Anyways I'm sorry! I love you all, you have been amazing with the feedback and stuff. I really appreciate it! -kissesandhugs-

**Warnings**: None, really. Just some foul language, but you knew that. PROBABLY VERY AWKWARD SINCE I DON'T HAVE A BETA! I scribbled down the end of it very quickly because yeah. CROSSDRESSING.

**Dislaimer: I do not own supernatural.**

**::**

Positive. Again.

Dean looked at the pile of boxes and used sticks (at least 20) in the trash next to him. It was getting harder and harder to deny that this was really happening. Dean zipped up and went to the door, sliding down into a sitting position on the floor, cradling his newest friend, Jack. He'd have at least 30 minutes until he could go again, but who was he kidding? Every single fucking test said positive.

It shouldn't have even been readable! It hadn't even been a week yet, but here he was, a pile of positive pregnancy tests and a half empty bottle of booze. Sam had been knocking at the door, telling Dean to come out already, but Dean didn't listen. Cas had tried to get him to come out too but Dean told him he just wanted to be alone right now. Cas seemed slightly hurt by this but left him anyways. Dean couldn't find the energy to care at the moment.

Everything the hunter ever knew was suddenly backwards. He was slowly accepting that he was sexually attracted to Cas, the angel who, as of the other night professed his _love_ to him. On top of this, now he was supposed to consider that he might actually be preggo with said angel's baby?

Dean slammed down another gulp from his bottle.

"Dean, drinking isn't good for the ba—" Sam started from the other side of the door.

"Shut the fuck _up_!" Dean snapped, immediately feeling guilty. He set aside the bottle. He totally forgot about that. Well it's not like he'd ever been around pregnant people! Besides, any kid of his could definitely withstand an onslaught of alcohol. It was basically in his blood.

"Are you going to come out at all?"

"Maybe," Dean said, childishly.

"Dean. . ."

"Just leave me alone, Sam," He said, a tone of finality in his voice. He heard his brother make an aggravated noise before stomping away. Dean sighed, sipping from the bottle again. Who the hell cared anyways? It's not like he could just let a baby grow inside of him. He was a _man_ for God's sake! Men didn't_ have _babies. Women did. That's how it's been since the dawn of time. He wasn't going to let some kid into the world that wasn't ready for a change in reality so monumental. He wasn't about to let the bigoted people of this world scorn his b-baby (he was having a hard time even thinking about it) for something he couldn't control.

But that night in the woods when Cas kissed him and touched his stomach. . . It was so tender and gentle and the sparkle in the angel's eyes. . . That was something that Dean had never seen in Castiel before. It happened when he realized that Dean was pregnant. He was _happy_ about it? His dad screwed Dean over and Castiel was _excited_? For some reason this knowledge hurt Dean more than it should have.

Well fuck him, and fuck this whole thing. Dean wouldn't let it get any further than this.

"Trouble in paradise?" Dean looked up to see Gabriel laying in the tub, feet propped up against the porcelain.

"You're the _last_ person I want to see right now, Gabriel," Dean gritted his teeth, trying to keep his anger in check. It was _his _fault he was in this predicament in the first place.

"By the looks of it, Dean-o, you don't want to see _anybody _right now. Not happy having a bun in the oven? I thought you'd be more excited. Motherhood glow and all that," Dean scoffed at those words, screwing up his face in disgust.

"You know what, Gabriel? I'm _so_ not in the mood for your bullshit." Dean stood up, staggering a bit. "And by the way, _you_ need to undo this. _Now_," Dean said, threateningly, or as threateningly as a slurring drunk could manage.

"No can do, pal. What Daddy says goes. I must say, I wasn't expecting the Grace to develop so quickly. I should have. It's obvious that an angelic pregnancy would be faster than a normal human's. It will probably be no more than 3 months," Dean blinked, he hadn't really thought about it yet, but if all those tests were correct, then there was a baby growing inside of him at this very moment. He didn't know what to think of that quite yet. And it was true he was feeling a little bloated…

It was the alcohol. Definitely the alcohol.

"Also, you don't need to worry about the drinking thing. You're growing a half _angel _inside of you, buddy. It can handle your sudden onset alcoholism. Just don't stay in here too long. Remember that you're not the only one this pregnancy is affecting," And with that the archangel disappeared.

Great, just what he needed. Guilt.

Dean stood up, tossing the bottle of booze in the trash, and opened the door. Castiel and Sam were sitting on the two beds in the hotel. They looked up upon his exit, both standing to their feet instantly. Sam was the first to move, Cas looking rather unsure of himself. Sam went up to Dean, grasping his shoulders.

"Dude, finally!" Are you alright? "You've been in there for two days! You need to eat," Dean looked at him, annoyed and Sam looked to the trash can in the bathroom full of used pee sticks. Sam looked at his brother, worry in his eyes.

"Don't even start Sam. I _don't_ want to talk about it."

"Dean you're. . . you're going through a difficult time, I know," The elder Winchester sneered, pushing his brother out of the way and went over to grab his jacket.

"No, you don't know," He turned to the awkward looking angel standing and shifting from foot to foot. "I'm going to go take a drive, you coming or not?" Cas hesitated before nodding and following Dean as he headed towards the door. Sam moved, but Dean held up his hand, halting him.

"Wait here," Sam hesitated, but nodded, looking a bit sulky. Dean couldn't bother with it right now though. He had to talk to Cas alone.

As they walked out, Dean couldn't help but notice the lack of space between he and Cas. Was it necessary to walk so close. . .? He attempted to distance himself a bit, but Castiel only got closer again. Dean raised a brow, deciding to ignore it for now as they had arrived at the Impala, not ready for this talk at all. He sighed and got in the driver's side. Cas soon followed, looking stiff and anxious, his brow furrowed in tension.

"Is something wrong?" Dean asked, not used to seeing the angel look so uncomfortable. Castiel looked at Dean once, his eyes moving to the space between them before looking away.

"It's difficult to explain," Cas said quickly, nervous. Dean was getting a bit annoyed. He smiled stiffly, despite himself.

"I'm all ears, Cas," Cas opened his mouth, inhaling once, still not looking at Dean.

"You were in there for two days Dean. You wouldn't let anyone in. We don't know what to expect with the. . . pregnancy. You should be more careful,"

"So you're lecturing me?" Dean said, incredulous. "Are you angry?" Cas looked at the hunter, uncertainty in his eyes.

"I've been worried,"

"About what?"

"About _you_, Dean. I want to help you, but if you lock yourself inside of a bathroom, refusing to talk to anyone, I can't." Cas suddenly looked even more uncomfortable. "Dean. Have you. . . thought about what you'll do about it?" Dean sucked in a breath, gripping the steering wheel. He looked forward, avoiding Cas's eyes.

"Well it's obvious isn't it? We can't just let it. . . let it. . . Look I know what supernatural babies are like and just 'cause it's an angel doesn't mean we treat it any differently." Castiel's jaw stiffened and Dean could notice that he stopped breathing. Not like he needed to anyways, but Dean had noticed that Cas would do this when he was angry.

"God has a plan. . ."

"God had a plan with Sam and look how that turned out," He gripped the steering wheel, avoiding Castiel's accusing eyes. "Look, I decide my future, not _Him_, ok? I've had to do something like this before and it's not pretty, but it's necessary,"

"You will kill it. . ." Cas said, quietly. It wasn't a question. He looked at the sadness in Castiel's blue eyes and swallowed the huge lump in his throat.

"It's not like I have a choice, Cas," Cas looked at him and Dean looked back, trying to keep his face straight but it was difficult. The thought of having to kill his own kid, even if they were a supernatural freak was more painful than anything. He's had to do it before though, this was no different.

It wasn't. Not at all. Dean bit his lip, gripping the steering wheel.

He started the engine, only to have it suddenly turn back off. He looked at Cas, his demeanor changed and his eyebrows knitted in an angry wrinkle.

"You don't want to do this,"

"I wish I never had to," Dean started the engine again, but it was immediately killed. He looked over to Cas who was looking more and more distressed. The angel was gripping his knees, his knuckles going white with the tension.

"Cas. . ."

"You don't have to,"

"And what happens when I have the kid, huh? God takes it away to use it in his twisted little games? No, Cas. I won't let it become a pawn like me and Sammy did. I won't let any kid of mine have that fate," Dean gripped his steering wheel so tight he could feel it start to make indentations in his palms. He tensed when he felt Cas grab his hand, pulling the Winchester towards him.

"Dean, please. Will you just think about it more?" He felt the electricity from Castiel's hand on his. His hand relaxed and he let go, throwing his head back against the leather. Thinking about it was exactly what he didn't want to do.

"I won't do anything right now anyways, Cas. But just don't get your hopes up, okay?" Dean looked at Castiel, reveling in the blue of his eyes. So intense. Always so intense. Why was Castiel so persuasive with just a touch or a glance? He felt Castiel's hand squeeze his, could feel some of that familiar mojo absorbing itself into Dean, and suddenly he felt really, really good. His stomach had been in a bunch of knots before and now it was calm. The storm had lifted. He couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be right now. Cas spoke again, his deep baritone seeping into Dean's senses.

"It's parents are the only beings in the world who have defied God's will, Dean. Who's to say we can't do it again? I. . . don't want to kill it. It's what connects us, Dean. . .It's part of you and it's something very precious. It should be protected, even if it means protecting it from God himself," Dean looked at Castiel, as though seeing him for the first time.

. . .And hell if Dean wasn't starting to believe him.

It was crazy, it was unnatural and it was freaky as shit, but at this moment, Dean didn't think fathering a child with this angel was too bad an idea if it could make Cas's eyes twinkle with passion like they did in this very moment.

"The other day, in the woods, you said. . . Things. Wh-What did you mean?" Dean asked, his voice stuttering insistently, but he couldn't find the energy to be embarrassed about it. Cas never broke his gaze, his face mere centimeters from Deans and he still held his arm.

"I meant what I said, Dean. I'm in love with you. It took me a while to figure it out, the heat, all the conflicting emotions. The uncertainty. . . But I realized that the thing I feared above all was losing you and that all I want is to make you happy. I'm the happiest when I'm around you. Every moment I spend with you is like heaven to me. And if you go by definition, then that's what love is. Am I wrong?" Dean bit his lip, staring into Castiel's eyes. Castiel looked back at him and Dean could see nothing but sincerity in his face. Dean swallowed, feeling his stomach start to throw a party with nerves and his face was lit on fire.

"I-I don't know, but it's weird. . . cause I'm a guy so I mean, I know you're not technically a guy but your vessel is one and. . . and,"

"I can change tha—"

"_No_. You're not snatching anyone else's body. You're only lucky Jimmy Novak gave you his for keeps. . . it's just. . . _love._ That's a really difficult subject, Cas. . . I have a hard enough time with that with _women_ let alone dudes with wings, ya know?" Castiel looked a bit confused. Dean continued, feeling more than a little uncomfortable talking about this. "Look, what I'm saying is. . . I don't know if I can return your feelings, and I don't know, Cas." Dean gestured to his stomach. "This isn't like finding a stray kitten and taking it home."

"It's understandable, Dean," Cas looked away once before looking again, his face stern. "Please think about what I said. I know you don't want to go down that road. I know you, and if you want something bad enough, you will have it," Dean swallowed the huge lump in his throat. He wanted so badly to believe Cas, but what about Sam? Would he go for something like this? His brother was technically a supernatural creature himself. Would he have sympathy for it?

Either way, Cas was right. He needed some time to think about this before doing something so hasty. He could buy himself a little bit of time, at least.

::

Castiel looked into Dean's eyes, seeing the new hope there. Dean was conflicted. It was reasonable enough. Dean spent most of his time protecting the innocent from the supernatural. Cas wasn't even one hundred percent sure that having the child would be a great idea himself, but he had to have faith that something that came from Dean would be nothing but pure good. He knew that it would be risky bringing into the world a child preordained by God to be an experiment, but Cas would let nothing bring harm to it. He would not let God manipulate it, even if it was his Father's will.

Cas moved his hand from Deans arm to his face, stroking the Winchester's temple. Dean shuddered and stiffened at the touch, about to pull back but Cas held him still. He wanted to make Dean aware of his feelings. He wanted to make Dean feel how much Castiel felt for him.

He leaned in, closing the space between their lips. Cas felt Dean's breath hitch slightly at the contact but didn't pull away. This, to Castiel's knowledge, was a good sign. He continued, pressing closer, closing even more distance between them. He connected them completely. He reveled in the feel of Dean's soft lips against his own. Dean slowly, hesitantly responded, kissing Castiel back, hand moving to the angel's hair. Castiel took the opportunity to push his tongue inside of the warm wet heat that was Dean's mouth and start slowly licking every inch he could. He saw Dean's eyes flutter a bit, red staining his cheeks and nose. Cas could feel Dean's body temperature rise slightly at the contact. He stroked Dean's tongue slowly with his own, making the Winchester shudder. Cas tilted his head, allowing him better access. Dean moaned when Cas sucked on his tongue. He wondered if this meant arousal. . . Cas thought back to the night they had sex for the first time. He wanted to make Dean feel like that again. . . But how to initiate it?

Cas quickly scanned his memory of the text books on sex and human arousal. Physical stimuli of the areas that had the most nerve endings could light the flames of arousal. Sensitive areas. . . He brought a hand to the nape of the hunter's neck and stroked along the fine hair there , making Dean shiver. Yes, this was definitely a sensitive area. He broke their kiss, moving down Dean's jawline, tasting and mapping every part of Dean he could kiss. Every move made was more and more arousing to Castiel. He couldn't seem to kiss enough of Dean. He moved down to Dean's neck and started kissing and sucking there.

"Cas. . ." Mercy, Dean made some really agreeable sounds. Now. . . Other areas included ear, collar bone, nipples. . . Cas moved his hand under the hunter's shirt, finding the perky nub in question and rubbing it gently with his thumb. Dean jumped, gasping in surprise. Cas sucked hotly on Dean's neck as he thumbed circles around his nipple before pinching it gently, eliciting a surprised moan from Dean. Castiel was most definitely aroused now. Dean was also reacting favorably.

. . .And suddenly he was being shoved away.

Dean pressed himself into the door of the driver's side, trying to get as far away from the angel beside him as he possibly could. Obviously he was distressed, but the Castiel had a hard time paying mind to it. The sight before him was causing the angel some very serious issues.

He couldn't understand why the moment was ended. Dean's face was red, lips swollen and half-lidded, green eyes undeniably dark with arousal. He was panting, looking slightly mortified. Castiel was conflicted between attacking the hunter and waiting to see what had him so upset. It was more difficult to decide what action to take than one would think at this moment.

"T-The _hell,_ Cas!" Dean hastily opened the door and stormed out. Cas followed, feeling his chest become tight in worry. Perhaps attacking wouldn't be the best course of option, after all.

"Dean—"

"—S-Shut up! I never said you could do that! _Any _of that!"

"I'm sorry. Next time I will ask your permission," Dean looked at him, incredulous.

"That's not the _point_ you dumbass! Ugh! Whatever, I'm out of here." Dean turned around and was about to set off but he froze. Cas tilted his head in confusion. He was sure that Dean was about to storm off in a frustrated rage. Why did he stop?

That's when he noticed it. The scenery around them was completely different. There was no roads. No buildings. No bustling passerby. It was just a small clearing with trees all around them. The atmosphere smelled raw of forest and rain. There was sunlight glinting through the trees at them. Castiel looked down and realized that the car had completely disappeared and in place was a black horse that was currently licking Dean's face. Dean made a disgusted look, trying to push the horse away.

"Cas. . . What's going on? Where's my car?!" Dean said, panic-stricken. Castiel looked at Dean, who was now clad a green, flowy dress, complete with corset and apron. There was also a red bow tied around his neck. "Why are you wearing armor?!" Dean said, looking confused.

"Why are you wearing women's clothing?" Dean looked down and Cas found intriguing the transition from horror to utter mortification on his face. Something was obviously very wrong here.

::

"Wonder what's taking them so long. . .?" Lucifer said idly. Sam ignored him. He wasn't about to listen to a hallucination. His brother was in serious distress and pregnant and everything was messed up. He wanted to be there for him but Dean was currently being all distant. He knew he needed to give him some space, but what really irked him was that he let Cas be with him but not his own _brother_. He wasn't jealous or anything—okay maybe he was a little—but he was _family_ dammit! He had a right to comfort Dean just as much as Cas did.

"Fear you're being replaced—_again_?"

"Shut up," Said Sam, in his mind asking why he's taking the bait. It's not like Lucifer was real, well he was, but not in this form.

"Dean invited Castiel to his little pity party but not his own brother? Isn't that a bit disconcerting?"

"It's his and Dean's problem, they need to talk about it,"

"Keep telling yourself that, but you're worried Dean is going to do something stupid, aren't you? Like, run away to keep the baby. He knows that that child shouldn't be born, but your brother lets his emotions get in his way far too much. When it comes to Dean, family trumps logic. I mean, he let you live, right? Look how that turned out,"

"Fuck you!" Sam stood up, balling his fists, enraged now. Lucifer stood up, holding his hands up in defence.

"There, there cowboy. You know all the things I say are just a reflection of your own thoughts, why are you threatening to punch your own conscience in the face?" Sam grit his teeth, releasing his fists. He was right about one thing, Dean was reckless when it came to family matters. This kid, _Dean's_ kid, was as much family as Sam was to Dean. Dean knew the consequences of letting a "Destined" child be born, but he didn't care, did he? Dean couldn't kill his own flesh and blood, especially since that flesh and blood was also Castiel's, his best friend and possibly lover now.

Sam balked a bit at the thought of calling a _guy_ Dean's lover. It was still foreign on his tongue.

"Dean can't do this. . ."

"You're right, he can't. But _you_ can, can't you? You're not nearly as emotionally invested in this as your brother. You can do it, Dean will be mad, but he'll thank you later, right?"

"I don't think so. . . If I did this, it could possibly kill our relationship for good. Not to mention, I'll have an angry angel, probably out for blood for killing his son,"

"Maybe killing it, _isn't_ the best idea after all then? Is it?" Lucifer walked over and set his hands on Sam's shoulders. "Sammy, do you realize just how powerful a hybrid angel is? A nephilim, _conceived from _a_ full-fledged angel_ will be more powerful than an angel, Sam. A nephilim, trained correctly, could possibly be more powerful than a leviathan. Now, wouldn't that power go to waste if we killed it? You could end this new war before it even starts," Sam furrowed his eyebrows. If that was true, then this could be their only chance of ending the reign of the leviathans. . .

"Why should I trust _you_ of all people?"

"I'm just a memory, manifested, Sam. Your thoughts alone are controlling me. This is _your_ idea." Sam narrowed his eyes and smacked Lucifer away.

"I'm going to go find Dean," As Sam walked out, Lucifer wore a grin that could only spell trouble.

::

"What the fucking hell is going on Cas! Where _are_ we?!" Castiel looked around, the forest around them was thick and dense. He looked slightly worried. This definitely wasn't Kansas anymore, Dean thought. Suddenly there was a clattering of hooves and the boys turned to see a woman on a horse, dressed in black, hooded robes come through the trees. Her horse was slender and graceful, as per the rider. The woman stopped in front of Cas, her mask concealing her identity as she pulled out a scroll made from parchment.

"Prince Castiel, I have orders from the queen for your retrieval. I advise you not resist," Dean looked at Castiel strangely, the angel shrugged but the horsewoman rode up to them and halted directly in front of Cas.

"We must make haste, m'lord. The wedding is first thing in the morn," Castiel looked at the rider strangely.

"I have no idea what you're ta—HA!" She gripped Castiel's shoulder and suddenly they both vanished.

Dean looked at the spot where Castiel and the rider once were, mouth agape. He was trying to think rationally but that was a little hard when you could feel the breeze freely swaying against your naughty bits. Apparently whoever thought to put him in a dress left out the underwear part. Dean felt himself go red in spite of himself. This was completely fucking nuts. It had to be Gabriel, there was no other way.

"Hey you damn bastard archangel! I know you're the one doing this. . . God_damn_it!" Dean kicked at a nearby rock in anger, feeling his skirt fly up and exposing himself to more fresh air than he would ever need.

Dean steeled himself, trying to ignore the fact that he was in a dress. He looked at the horse, which was now munching on some grass. He had to find Cas and apparently this was his only way of transportation. He'd ridden horses before. . . He could do this.

Dean hoisted himself up, swinging a leg over the horse and adjusting his frills and. . . other things so that he was at least a little comfortable. He wasn't used to riding so completely. . . barebacked. Dean shuddered. This was going to take some getting used to.

He held onto the horse's mane, as there was no saddle or stirrups to help him balance, and kicked the horse's side lightly to get it to move. He set off at a slow pace—his jewels weren't taking too kindly to this new arrangement that's for sure—and started off into the woods, hoping to find some other form of life before he really did turn into a girl.

::

Dean estimated it was about an hour before he came across a cottage in the deep woods. He'd been following the way that the woman had come from but he had yet to find a trail. He was relieved to find signs of life at last.

Dean dismounted his horse, adjusting his. . . dress before walking stiffly up to the cottage. He surmised that he must have looked ridiculous being slightly bow-legged to begin with, only to have his hips all stiff from unprepared riding, top it off with the fact that he was wearing a fucking _dress_. He angrily pounded on the door, feeling sorry for the bastard who opened it.

"D-Dean?!" Dean's eyes widened when he realized the person who answered was Sammy—Dressed in tattered old renaissance clothes, He looked like a friggen stable boy. Suddenly Sam was overcome by a fit of furious giggles.

"Oh-Oh my god. . . what are you _wearing_?!" Sam broke out into hysterics and Dean stormed inside, ignoring his brother's ridiculous taunting. He found his way to the nearest bedroom and raided the dresser for clothes that were for _men_, only to find himself shit out of luck, as all the drawers were empty.

"Fuck me. . ."

"Don't tempt me, fair maiden," Dean turned around to see a woman dressed in a poofy, revealing corseted dress. Her hair was spiraly and blonde and she was adorned in various gold bangles and jewelry about her. She held an air of elegance that none of the local girls in town would ever achieve.

"And just who is this foxy lady?" He said, eyebrow raised. He didn't know why he was hitting on her. It's not like he'd ever manage to get any tail in this dress anyways. She sneered, crossing her arms impatiently.

"Don't be bold, Winchester. I am Raguel, an Archangel of the Lord. I am afraid you're as far from my sights as they come, but your angel friend, on the other hand. . . " So this was who was behind this freaky fairytale world? An archangel other than Gabriel?

"Cas? Where is he?! Where did that bitch take him?" The woman chuckled.

"He's currently preparing for our wedding. Why, we'll be married when the sun rises tomorrow," Dean cocked a brow, before chuckling.

"You think Cas will marry _you?_ Don't get your hopes up, babe. He's as gay as Richard Simmons. I doubt you'll even get him to shake your hand." The archangel, 'Raguel' smirked.

"Ah, but, little do you know, Dean Winchester. Castiel may harbor feelings for you, but he is hardwired to be attracted to female humans. These," Raguel grabbed her chest, squeezing them together, "Amongst other things, are something _you_ don't possess. Once we consummate our marriage, it shouldn't be too hard to get him thinking clearly again," Dean frowned, he hadn't thought about that. Castiel had pushed Meg up against that wall before and snogged the shit out of her. Was Dean just a fluke and Cas really preferred chicks? The Winchester blinked, a bit dumbfounded. He hadn't given much thought to Castiel's sexuality before. Then Dean thought of something and grimaced.

"Wait, you're an angel right? Doesn't that make you and Cas brother and Sister? Isn't that like, incest?" Raguel shrugged.

"Details, details. It's not much different than you humans all fornicating with each other. You're all from the same father in the beginning. Mou're just a massive, incestuous web of shame now, aren't you? There just happens to be less angels. Now if you don't mind, I have a wedding to prepare! Thanks for giving me your boyfriend!" And with that she disappeared.

". . . He's _not _my boyfriend!" Dean grit his teeth in frustration. Like hell Cas would screw such an obnoxious wench. In her dreams, maybe. . .

Not that he cared. . . He didn't. Really!

"Dean, I heard voices, is everything alright?"

"Fuckin' archangels,"

"Gabriel. . ."

"Nah, a new jerk. Her name is Raguel and she's carrying a torch for Cas. Says she's gonna marry him tomorrow or something. All I know is Cas is definitely not gonna go for this, so we gotta find him," Sam looked at him strangely. "What?" Sam shook his head, looking weird.

"Nothing, I just thought you looked cute, all jealous and stuff," Dean narrowed his eyes and said through gritted teeth.

"I am _not_ jealous, Sam. I just want to get out of here, ok? We can't do that without him," Sam smirked.

"Whatever you say, loverboy!"

"Sam, I'm warning yo—" But Dean was cut off when some fabric was thrown at his face, he pulled it off and Sam was running out of the room. He looked down and saw a long green shirt with some weird tights/pants and rope. He might look like peter pan but it was better than the fucking dress.

::

"I don't know which is more disturbing, you in a dress or you in tights," Dean sneered at his brother as they rode horseback down the only trail that lead through the woods from the cottage. They had no clue where they were going, but they had to take the only leads they had.

"Just shut up. Have you tried your phone? I left mine back at the hotel,"

"There's no service here, Dean. I doubt there's conveniently a satellite just hovering nearby when there's not even electricity," Dean rolled his eyes.

"Well do _you_ have any brighter ideas Sam?"

"Having fun?!" Dean looked to see a miniature Gabriel sitting on the head of the horse, wearing clothes much like Dean's, only his were all green and he had gay fairy wings.

"Great, just what we needed, a miniature dick,"

"Hey, don't let the size deceive you, Deany-boy. Great things come in small packages," Miniature Gabriel winked suspiciously at Sam, making Dean grimace.

"Gabriel, can you help us find Cas, or can't you?"

"I can. . ."

"Great!"

"But like in all fairytales, a wish granted by a magical being will cost you!"

"Don't worry, I've already got it covered," Sam held out his cell phone and Dean and Gabriel gathered around to see very candid photos of Dean in that horrid green dress.

"When did you get these?!" Dean shrieked a very not-so-manly shriek.

"Point is, I can send them right to email, Gabriel," Gabriel pressed the next button and got a shot of Dean bending over and showing _a lot_ of skin.

"Ooh. . . nice shot! I'll have to give that one to Cassie for his birthday. . ." Dean blushed a furious shade of magenta and reached out to grab Sam's phone but it vanished.

"I'll get that back to you Sammy, can't have Dean here destroying the merchandise," He coughed, as he noticed the enraged look on Dean's face.

"I will kill you, Sam. . ."

"Anyways! Point is I can zap you boys right into the castle! Problem is, I can't get through Raguel's maze or past the masking spells she's got on my brother. She's been around the block longer than I have, boys, so it'll be up to you to find him. Anyways, here we go!" Sam and Dean both felt a huge lurch, a strong wave of nausea and suddenly they were surrounded by stone walls and rich ruby floors.

"Alright, I'm off, good luck in your quest to find my brother!" Sam grabbed the miniature Gabriel.

"Wait, why are you leaving?"

"Because Raguel is fuckin' _nuts_. I'm not an idiot like you guys," Gabriel visibly shivered and disappeared before their eyes. The boys spent a second looking around before they shrugged and set off into the dimly lit corridor.

"Well, we better get cracking, we only have until morning to find Cas and stop this crazy Raguel bitch," Sam looked at Dean strangely.

"How are we going to find him? This place is massive!" Dean squinted, trying to look around.

There were torches and random portraits lining the walls. Various statues were placed around corners. In the middle of the hall there were several staircases leading in various directions. It would be almost _impossible_ to find Castiel in this maze.

"It's not looking good Sam…But we have all night and we just have to find him, right?" Dean had to, no matter what. He gripped his fists, trying to think of something, _anything_ they could do to make this work. He didn't know what Raguel had in mind, but he knew he couldn't let her just do whatever she wanted. Suddenly, Dean jolted, feeling a misplaced warmth around him.

"Woah…dude you're glowing!" Sam moved in closer, studying him. "Is that…Grace?" Dean creased his brow. He didn't want to admit it but it was curiously similar to the feeling he'd get when exposed to Cas's mojo.

"I. . . I don't know. I can't. . ." Dean felt this tugging sensation around him, urging him forward, as though telling him to 'move his ass, already!'. "It feels like it's trying to lead me in a direction,"

"Why would that happen?" Dean shook his head. He couldn't explain it, he didn't want to even fathom _why _it was happening, really. He was sure he didn't want to know.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, I know it's not dangerous. Let's follow it,"

::

Castiel found himself in a bed chamber. Before him was a mid-century styled, four poster bed with drapes, various decorated furniture scattered all around. There were no signs of electricity or technical advancement. Cas knew that whatever had brought him here was delving into time travel. It was most certainly either a trickster or an Archangel. It could have been a Jin, but it was more akin to Gabriel's handy work.

It wasn't Gabriel, though.

He stood and looked outside the window. There was a grandiose stable that undoubtedly housed dozens of horses. The outside was a mere pane of stained glass away, but there were wards that were keeping him here. He couldn't move.

"Whomever is responsible for this, show yourself." Suddenly a blonde woman appeared, in a chemise and dark red corset and poof skirt. She was attractive, but Castiel only held contempt for her. It was Raguel. There was no mistaking her volatile Grace. By the looks of it, she'd found a new vessel.

"Sister…"

"Ahh, Castiel. My baby brother. How unfortunate that Father has saddled you with such a beast! If you're going to bed a human, you deserve elegance, dear. A strong, beautiful woman. An angel with class!" Castiel scoffed.

"And you think that this being is yourself? Why the interest in me all of a sudden?" She smirked, placing her arm around Castiel's neck, looking at him lovingly.

"Because Father is _wrong_, my love. You deserve no punishment. You deserve nothing but love. Your family will always take you back. You're nothing like Lucy. Why not be with someone who irrevocably loves you, like myself, rather than that indecisive twit of a human, Dean Winchester?"

"I'm in love with Dean," Cas said simply. "He carries my child and if you keep speaking ill of him, I won't hesitate to harm you." Raguel grimaced, scoffing. She obviously didn't want to hear it.

"As you could fare against me. I'm more than twice your age. Besides, It's all a farce. Father has planned all of this. Nothing you share is real. Dean doesn't love you and he won't. Your feelings are all for nothing, baby brother. Don't waste them on that charlatan! Father will take the baby when it's born and you will have nothing. At least this way you'll have someone who loves you when it all falls apart," Cas grit his teeth. He didn't want to hear these things. Dean and Cas shared a bond she would never understand.

"If I hear you insult Dean again. . . " Raguel snorted.

"You'll do what? You forget that _I'm _the archangel here, not you," She smiled. "Now rest up. I'll be sending people early tomorrow so you can get ready for our wedding!" She squealed and popped into nothing.

Wedding. . . What crazy ideas did she have in mind now?

Castiel collapsed on the bed. She had a point, though. Dean didn't love him. . . He couldn't look upon his wings without being burned, so their bond wasn't even complete. After all this, where would he and the Winchester stand? It's not like they would be a _couple_. Dean wouldn't do something like that. It was hard enough for him to even resign himself to one _woman_.

Simply, what did Cas hope to get out of this? More importantly, How was he going to get out of here? He needed to get back to Dean. He wanted to know what would become of them.

::

"The mojo is weakening. . . I can't get a good sense of where to go now," Dean and Sam had been walking through the Castle all night. They weren't sure what time it was, but they had to hurry before the dawn broke. Dean couldn't stop thinking about what that woman said. He couldn't let that bitch do anything weird to Castiel. Like Castiel would go for a marriage anyways.

Dean stopped in his tracks, fists clenched. He wouldn't, would he? Wasn't it just in the car that Cas was spouting all that love crap? The way the angel kissed him made him feel like he was the only person in the world who mattered, Like all Castiel could think about was Dean. There was no way some angel with a huge ego was gonna take him away so easily.

Why did Dean care anyways? It wasn't really any concern who Cas did or didn't marry. They weren't a couple. . . Dean had made it clear.

Too clear. . . Shit.

"What's the issue, man?" Dean realized he'd stopped walking.

"It's not working. . . Cas is gonna marry that bitch," Sam raised a brow.

"What makes you think that?"

"Cause the Grace ain't working and. . . I said some things. I don't know. . . " Sam looked at him worriedly.

"What did you say?" Dean dropped to his knees, worn out.

"It's not my fault. . . Cas kept saying things like that he loved me and all this weird shit. . . What am I supposed to say to that?"

"He loves you?" Sam smiled. Dean glared. Sam knelt next to Dean and patted his back. "That's great man." Sam lowered his voice, proceeding carefully. "Do you. . . love him back?" Dean clenched his fists. He really didn't want to hear that question right now.

"N-NO! I mean. . . I don't know. . . As a friend for sure, but the other thing. . . Look it's complicated! I didn't say anything to him about it and now. . ." Sam frowned.

"Look, Dean. Cas loves you. If it's anything I know about him, he's extreme in his sincerity. He wouldn't go off and marry the first angel he sees just cause you didn't say it back. Stop worrying,"

"I'm not worried!" Dean snapped, blushing. Sam smirked and pulled him to his feet.

"Then what the hell are we waiting for? Don't you have a wedding to crash?"

Dean, newfound vigor, started glowing fiercely again and started walking in a definite direction. "Come on, let's go. It's this way,"

Sam smirked, _Jealousy suits you, big bro_.

::

Castiel had searched the entire room for a way to escape. It seemed like it would be impossible. Raguel had thought to strengthen any possible vulnerability in this room. The angel couldn't even dream of escaping.

Cas wondered for a moment if it even mattered to Dean if he did or not. The Winchester had made perfectly clear his aversion to Castiel. It was regrettable, but it was what Dean willed.

His gaze cast downward at the crackling fire in the hearth. A waste, seeing as Cas hardly needed warmth. A false gesture of kindness. Raguel was ready to hurt anyone to achieve what she wanted. He scoffed and the flames died. If it was one thing, he knew Dean would never put someone in harm's way for his own gain.

Even if Dean didn't love him, Castiel needed to see him.

It was more than difficult being away from Dean right now. Ever since he felt the presence of life within Dean, there was an irrational need to stay not more than a couple feet away from him at all times. The urge to protect Dean was irresistible. It was almost maddening that he couldn't go and be with him right now.

He had a child on the way. Dean didn't need to worry because it belonged to he and Dean alone. His Father would just have to deal with that. Castiel wouldn't let harm come upon his son or daughter. He would protect it from everything, the demons, his Father, even Dean if he had to.

It wouldn't come to that though. He didn't have to read his mind to know that Dean wanted the child as much as Castiel did. The look on the hunter's face when he learned of the new life's presence within, well that was everything Castiel needed to confirm that Dean's feelings for the child were the same as his own.

Castiel felt a stress on his mouth. It was almost painful. Was he. . . He was smiling. He had been doing so for who knows how long. It was uncomfortable, but it was right. This is what happiness was. The events of the past few days were all he needed to pick him up from the rut he'd found himself in He needed to see Dean. He wouldn't give up on him _or _their child.

Raguel said that they would be married in the morning. The sun was already starting to lighten the sky, but it wasn't visible. It wouldn't be long until it came up. Cas had a plan.

::

Outside the barred windows, Dean and Sam knew that it was about to break dawn. They didn't have much time and the mojo had lead them to a pair of grand oak doors, engraved with carvings in Enochian, demon wards and other symbols. Was Cas inside this room? Dean didn't want to waste any time wondering about it. He grabbed the handle, discovering that it was locked and there was definitely no hope of breaking in. He growled in frustration, kicking it. Of course it'd be fucking locked. He knew Cas was inside, he could _feel it._

Sam pulled him back, shaking his head. "We'll have to find another way in, man. There's no getting through here," Dean froze when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He turned around and saw Raguel dressed in pure white. Her silk corset was lined with lace and embroidery; shimmering brocades dotted with diamonds throughout the whole ensemble. Her hair was done up with a veil and bows and she looked fucking gorgeous. It pissed Dean off all the more.

"You're just in time, Winchester," She said, voice sleek as ice. "Castiel has given in. He has agreed to marry me. The ceremony is about to begin." Suddenly Dean's heart fell.

Castiel had given in? He really was about to marry Raguel, and _willingly_?!

Dean staggered a bit as the Angelic guards behind him ushered him into the room, turning a hall until they reached a small room with a wardrobe. He felt lightheaded; Sick. There was a pit in his stomach that was growing larger and larger with every step he took. There was a lump in his throat that just wouldn't go away. Sam was looking at him worriedly, but he didn't see it.

Dean was confused. Castiel had told Dean that he _loved _him. That he wanted to be with him and have this. . . this _child_ with him. Was it a lie? Maybe he'd just been experimenting? Of course that was the case. . . Cas was choosing Raguel. An angel. In a _female _vessel. It was only natural right? Angels and humans couldn't be together. . . Dean was straight anyways. It was like this was his exit strategy. By the sound of it, Castiel was attracted to women too

. . .This is what he'd been looking for, after all. A way out. This was how it should have been.

Dean was unresponsive as the angels dressed him. Nothing really mattered anymore.

::

Castiel was standing at the alter. There were flowers everywhere. Vines of blood-red roses lined the walls and the black metalwork that they wrapped around made it look almost sinister. He knew that in the time that Raguel was making her way to the hall, Cas would have time to set up his trap. It wasn't hard to manipulate the angels all gathered in the room. They had no idea what was about to happen. All he had to do now was make her believe he'd given in, and she would be ensnared.

Long-winded orchestral music started to play and he knew the moment was here. He would see Dean soon, he would make sure of it.

The doors opened and in marched Raguel, adorned in her wedding dress and what would appear to be a wedding-day glow, only it was polluted by malice. _Not very holy of you, sister._

What caught his eye the most, however, was that Dean and Sam Winchester were in-tow behind her. They were dressed in formal, mid-century garb with a silk coat and doublet, not unlike his own. Dean's was green, Sam's brown. He'd never before seen Dean Winchester look so. . . regal. It was interesting, at the very least, to see.

His eyes caught Dean's and he felt the sharp pang of longing that he'd been feeling a lot lately. It was to his very surprise that the look on Dean's face wasn't unlike his, only there was profound pain riddled in it. Guilt spread through him, he tried to tell Dean with his eyes that it would be okay, that he would get them out of this mess, but it didn't last. Raguel was looking at him too, he had to keep the farce; the plan wouldn't work otherwise.

He nodded to her as she reached the alter. He took her hand and led her to the stage where his brother, Anriel stepped in to play the part of minister.

"Ah, Castiel and Raguel, a true couple of the heavens. On this day you come forth seeking a marriage. In favor of haste," He nodded to Raguel. "I will be cutting the sermon short. Please, join hands," He nodded to Castiel and Raguel. Castiel was doing everything in his power not to break eye contact with Raguel and look at the one he _really _loved. Eye contact was part of the spell. Castiel could do nothing but focus in this moment.

Anriel continued. "Raguel, what say you to Castiel? for you are soon to be bound together in holy matrimony for a true eternity,"

"I say destiny will always find it's way back to your life. We are meant to be, Castiel, soon you will understand. I will cherish every moment beyond this, you by my side," _Don't scoff. Don't scoff_!

"And, Castiel! What say you to Raguel?"

"I say, true love will always conquer the illusions. What is obscured will always seek disclosure. Where there is good intentions there will always be victory," This little speech seemed to pacify the woman in front of him. Too bad she didn't read the other side of the meaning behind his words.

"Do you, Raguel, take Castiel, an angel of the Lord, to be your bonded, your partner, and your other half as long as you both exist?"

"I do," Raguel spoke, grinning from ear to ear. Castiel suddenly felt sick.

"And do you, Castiel, take Raguel an archangel of the Lord to be your bonded, your partner, and your other half as long as you both exist?" Castiel bit his lip, he had to say it, or everything would be for naught.

"I do. . ."

"Then under the witness of 100 angels, and the power vested in me. . ."

"NO!" Suddenly it was at least 50 degrees colder than it was before. Cas looked to the hall and it was covered in ice. Dean was on the floor in the aisle, on his knees, glowing a shocking amount of Grace that was suspiciously like his own. Dean gripped his head, face screwed up in pain. He was looking desperately up at Cas, not sure how to say what he wanted. The angel next to him growled, unaffected by the sudden freeze.

"Winchester! What have you done to my wedding?!" She balled her fists and tried to stomp away but couldn't move more than a foot. She was ensnared in a trap. "What—?! Castiel is this _your _doing?! Let me out of here!"

"The moment we said "I do" You were trapped, Raguel. Good luck trying to get out," She growled angrily, stomping and pounding on the invisible barrier. Castiel wasted no time, running over to the hunter, crouching to his level. Dean looked confused, eyes still glowing white.

"You…t-trapped her?"

"How else was I supposed to get out of here?" Dean looked even more confusd. His glow was dying down. This was becoming evermore peculiar. Castiel helped him to his feet, catching him in his arms as he staggered.

"She'd said you'd given in. That you were going to marry her. . ." Castiel held him tightly, running his fingers through Dean's soft hair. He felt like this was the rightest place he could be.

"I'd never marry her. I told you before, Dean. I love _you_. You're the only one I want," He saw Dean's cheeks turn bright red, his gaze going back to normal.

"Cas. . ." Dean looked into his eyes, a mixture of emotions gathered in his green irises. He was embarrassed, but he was also happy. Cas could feel it. The grace that Dean was emitting was creating happy electricity as it mingled with Castiel's. He caressed the side of Dean's face with his hand, because just being able to touch him was a relief. "I don't know much about love, but I do know that I don't want to lose you." He looked away, cheeks managing to become even more flushed. "And I don't know why, but it really pissed me off seeing you with that bitch. . ." Dean sneered a little, glancing up at Raguel still trapped in the circle.

"You were jealous." Castiel said, amused. There was a warm glow in his center as he thought about this.

"_No_!" Dean blushed, looking away. "I just. . . She's not right for you that's all." Castiel smiled, getting closer to Dean, cupping the sides of his face.

"Dean you're always so honest, whether you want to be or not," He bit his lip, looking deeply into Dean's eyes. "I want to kiss you so badly right now. . . " Dean looked away, looking uncomfortable at Castiel's words. There was cold chuckling coming from the altar. Still stuck in the angel trap, Raguel could hardly contain herself. The only thing that pacified him right now was knowing that her little ploy went up in flames.

Or. . . Ice, if you took a look around. He still wanted to figure out how Dean managed that. . .

"_Honest!" _Raguel scoffed, pointing at the hunter. "Dean, are you _ever_ going to tell your boyfriend about what happened while you were creating that little abomination in your belly?"

"S-shut up. . ." He said, blushing five shades of red at her words.

"Dean? What is she talking about?"

"He can tell you later, but for now, get me out of this thing, Castiel. I'm not allowed to hurt you or Dean anyways," Cas furrowed his brow in irritation.

"Father is behind this," Cas said. It was more of a statement than a question; He should have known it all along. Raguel hummed in affirmation.

"Now if you want to know more, you better let me out of here first!" Cas snapped his fingers, causing Raguel to stagger a bit before she righted herself. She crossed her arms in a snooty pout, not looking at them.

"He wanted to see what a bout of separation would do to you, and if Winchester's shared baby Grace was strong enough to bring you back together before anything happened here. Looks like you and your dog won, baby brother. My work here is done. I won't be bothering you anymore. She flew off at that, Castiel barely managed to see her depart or get a glimpse of her wings. Archangels were nothing if not fast.

:: (A/N: Awkward POV change, sorry!)

Dean looked at Castiel, glad for that bitch to be gone, even though he wanted to pummel her. But like all jerk angels, she left too fast. He'd get her next time though. Right now he was just hoping Cas would not ask questions about what she said. How could he tell Cas he'd been keeping such a huge thing as being able to See all this time? Something as important as that, and Dean had kept it from him. He wouldn't be happy about it. That much was certain.

"Baby Grace?" Cas said. Another question he didn't feel like answering. But it was better than the alternative.

"The force that was pulling me in your direction. What caused all of this. . ." Dean gestured to the frozen audience of the chapel, the ice covering everything. "I think that's what she was referring to," Cas turned back to him, eyes wide in amazement.

"You were using Grace, Dean?"

"Well there was some kind of power that lead me to you. I'm assuming that's what it was. It was just like your mojo, just a bit different. . . " Dean was suddenly very uncomfortable, as it was getting harder and harder to deny that yes, Dean Winchester definitely had a baby angel growing inside of him at this very moment. He pinched the bridge of his nose, not really able to do anything but resign himself to it. It was happening. Dean could do nothing about it.

Suddenly Dean was being tighly hugged by Castiel.

"Cas. . . really?" He squeaked out, feeling his oxygen being cut off.

"I've suddenly been overtaken by a bout of euphoria. I don't know why, but embracing you seemed to be the only thing that could contain it," Dean rolled his eyes, patting Cas's hair, messing it up in the process, making it stick out at odd ends. _Hah._ Little victories.

Cas's voice was quiet in his ear. "Dean, Raguel said that there was something you weren't telling me. What did she mean?"

Dean pulled away and clenched his eyes shut, steeling himself for what was about to come out. He didn't know how Cas would react to this. But he didn't have a choice. He couldn't keep lying to him.

"Cas. . . That night when we. . ."

"The night we fornicated," Cas filled in, noticing Dean having a hard time completing the sentence. Dean flinched a bit at the bluntness, but nodded nonetheless. He better just get it over with.

"That night. . . I saw your wings." He paused to look at Cas's expression, but there was none. Ignoring it, Dean bore on, not able to stop once he started anyways. "I saw it all. The colors, the shape, felt the texture against my skin. . . It was fucking amazing. You were fucking beautiful, Cas. . ." He bit his lip, grabbing on the the lapels of Cas's overcoat. "Cas, I'm sorry I hid it from you, I was just embarrassed. I didn't know what it meant. I still don't. . . I just don't want you to hate me. . ." Suddenly Cas sighed.

"Dean I could never hate you. I'm. . . having an unpleasant feeling that I can't place right now. It's stemmed from the fact that you didn't tell me right away, but at the same time I'm very happy at this news. More happy than you can imagine, I think," Cas's lips quirked up into an unmistakable smile. He continued, slowly, as though testing the words on his lips. "The bond is complete," Dean blushed, trying to look anywhere but Castiel's eyes.

"But, what does it mean?"

"It means whatever you feel like it means, Dean. I can't tell you what this bond means to you," Dean swallowed, the next words out of his mouth quiet and unsure.

"Well, what does it mean for you?"

"It means that I really do have the ability to grant you the happiness you deserve. Dean, that's all I've ever wanted." Dean's expression softened at Cas's words. It wasn't often when someone cared so much about his happiness. He gently lifted his hand to touch the angel's face.

"Cas. . ." He felt the stubble there and, underneath it, the soft skin of his face. He really had the prettiest blue eyes. . . Dean jumped, shaking himself out of his reverie. "W-what about the fact that I kept it from you for so long?"

"You can consider it part of my punishment. God knows you owe me a bit. I would like for us to be on better terms at the very least." Dean smirked, ruffling the angel's hair.

"Cas I'm not mad. . . I can't ever be mad at you. I tried, but it was hard. I don't like forcing myself to be mad at someone. . ." He stepped closer, going way out of his comfort zone and hugging the angel close. "Cas, I feel like that too, ya know? Like all I've ever wanted since I met you was to see you be yourself, or become yourself. I feel like it's happening more and more. I'd like to think that some of it's 'cause of me, ya know?" Dean swallowed, looking away before continuing. "You have a real awesome smile so I like seeing it. . ." He was blushing, embarrassed, but he didn't care. He felt like he had to let Cas know these intimate details no matter what.

"My lips hurt all time nowadays, Dean. I'm assuming that smiling is the culprit,"

"You just need to strengthen your cheeks."

"Can I suggest another way you might help me with that?" Dean, completely oblivious, looked up, tilting his head in question.

"How ca—Mmph!" And there it was, the kissing thing that Cas was so determined to do. Dean should have fought, should have struggled. He definitely shouldn't have went slack, melting into Cas's fucking sexy lips.

Cas was becoming a pro at this, Dean noted. He'd already learned all of the things that made Dean's breath hitch, made him moan just from a fucking kiss. The way he sucked on Dean's tongue, bit at his lips or caressed just the right spot on the Winchester's body just wasn't fair. There was no room for Dean to protest. It was all just too right.

He pulled away leaving Dean fucking breathless.

"Dean, my cheeks already feel so much stronger. . ."

"You fucker. . .I'll show you. . ." Dean was about to kiss Castiel back with the same unrelenting force, but he was stilled by angel in question.

"Dean, we should probably unfreeze them," Dean was fucking confused. What was he babbling about at a time like this? He followed Cas's eyes and looked at the frozen party that was watching them with creepily still eyes. Dean gritted his teeth, feeling a little guilty since Sam was amongst them too.

"Right. . . but I don't really know how to use this mojo stuff. . ."

"Well, the way it works for me is if I will something, it happens. So just think about the ice being gone and everything back to the way it was before your tantrum," Dean glared a bit at the use of the word 'tantrum', but nodded, turning to the pews. He used all his energy to concentrate, thinking of what it was before he walked into the aisle. He thought of Sam and how proud he would be that there were no more secrets between Dean and Cas, and that they were on much better terms. He needed to tell Sam that he'd done _so_ much personal disclosure today.

And suddenly there was noise. A lot of it. Scattered "pop"ing noises as angels fled the scene. It was almost empty before Sam finally made his way up the aisle. The taller man looked really confused. Rightfully so, since there'd been a wedding before his forced nap took place.

"Dean? Cas? What happened?" He looked around, confusion on his face. "Where's Raguel?"

"She's gone," Said Cas. "It was all just a set up by my Father to see what the new Grace could do," Sam raised a brow.

"You're both okay? She just left?"

"Long gone," Dean said, grinning. "Guess I was just a little too intimidating for he—Ugh…" The oldest Winchester wrapped his arms around his middle, doubled over. He knew it! He knew the day would come when his stomach would pay him back for all of the shit he put in it. Dean gagged and proceeded to vomit all over the floor.

"Are you alright?" Dean wiped his mouth, looking at the grossed out face of his brotherand Cas who looked more than a little worried. Not one of his finer moments, Dean would admit. Dean sat on the floor, weak from the wretching. There was still a bundle of knots inside, trying to get out.

"I was perfectly fine before. Now my stomach feels like there's a Mexican dance party going on inside. Don't know how it's possible that so much came out since I haven't even eaten anything since yesterday." Sam looked away, voice quiet.

"It's possibly morning sickne—" Another bout of vomiting. Cas went to him this time, helping him steady as he emptied whatever was left of his stomach onto the grand floor. He was grateful, to say the least. It was. . . sweet. He glared up at Sam. "Dean. . . "

"Don't even try to finish that sentence. . ." Sam held up his hands

"I'm just saying. . . There might be a lot of. . . physical repercussions happening soon. We might want to try getting some insight from Gabriel about it so that you know what to expect."

"Did I hear my name? What's that? You need my help?" Dean rolled his eyes. Great. Just what he needed. Gabriel grimaced at the mess on the floor. "For crying out loud, Dean. What did that carpet ever do to you?"

"Look, just get us out of here," Dean said, definitely _not _in the mood for Gabriel. Gabriel sighed dramatically, zapping away the mess. "Fine, fine. Just use me as you will. Not like I had anything better to do today, like read my comics or go fishing. I'm just waiting for the Winchesters to get lost in the 15th century, only to have to haul them back to the present," Dean's patience was growing very thin.

"Will you just teleport us back there already?!" Gabriel held up his hands. In an instant they were back at the hotel. Dean slumped down on the bed, losing the strength in his legs from the long night.

"Castiel you better be on your toes." Gabriel said, "He's not going to be easy to handle while pregnant,"

"I will de-wing you," Dean growled. Gabriel was gone in the next instant. Dean could finally relax. He was done with angels for the day. Well maybe save for one. He looked at Cas, finding his nervousness a bit endearing. Cas looked back and he gestured next to him motioning for Cas to sit. The angel sat down and he didn't even care that Sam was standing right there. He propped his head on Cas's lap and proceeded to doze off. Not caring about anything except how right it felt being with him.

Even with all that would happen in the future, it was somehow alright since he was with Castiel.

::

**A/N:** Oh good golly what the fuck. I hope you didn't mind the dreadful longness of the chapter. There was literally no place to cut it off unless I re-wrote half of it. Lol but yeah. Sorry for the super long wait. I don't even know how long it's been. Sheesh. Anyways please please please **review!** I don't deserve it, but for those of you who have pity on me, I implore you!


	8. The Oncoming Storm

**A/N**: Hello there! First of all I just need to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I'm sooo glad people are still reading this story. It makes me happy that you all have such a good attitude about it. It's a male pregnancy but it's a much better turn out than I ever expected. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate the feedback and how much I enjoy writing it. Every word you say shapes this story, so consider yourselves all editors of mine. :D Anyways **some important notes**: Starting from this chapter and lasting at least a few chapters, most of this story will be written from Castiel's POV. How better to watch Dean's pregnancy than through the eyes of the baby daddy/socially crippled/sexy motherfucking angel? Hope you enjoy this.

I did some research about pregnancy, the length, and stages and I've figured out mathematically when and how Dean should progress as a perfect 3 month ratio as opposed to 9. If it seems like things are happening too fast, it's because they're supposed to! I've done my homework! XD

Chapter warnings: EXPLICIT SEX OF THE SLASHY KIND! And swearing. . . and cuddling. So yeah. . .

Disclaimer: I DON"T OWN SUPERNATURAL

* * *

><p>Dean woke up warm and very comfortable, and in pitch black. It was an improvement from waking up with the sun blinding him, but concerning nonetheless. He checked the display on his phone, finding that it was 12:30 in the morning. He'd wasted the whole day sleeping. He felt guilty since he'd already wasted two days freaking out about being knocked up (which was still the weirdest fucking concept ever, mind you). He still had to think of how to deal with this whole situation. He rubbed his belly, still not feeling anything different about it. It was hard to believe he was really pregnant.<p>

Before the whole ordeal with Raguel, Cas had been trying to convince him that they could deal with it. That they didn't have to end it before it had a chance. Dean had to at least think about what Cas said. This was big to ignore. With a lump in his throat, he remembered clear as day what had transpired with Emma. . .

He couldn't do it. He had her at gun point but he couldn't kill her. Sam knew it too. Sam was the one who pulled the trigger. If he had to make the decision again, Dean knew he couldn't do it.

He felt suddenly very panicky at the thought of Sam. His brother had shot Emma without a second thought. Recalling this, Dean had this overwhelming urge to just get up and leave. Leave before Sam did anything hasty. He would hide, undetected, away from Sam and anybody who knew him. He wouldn't let anybody hurt it. Angel or not, It was his child. It was a part of him. Anybody who tried to take that away would be fucking sorry.

Dean balked at this realization. Was he really thinking about keeping it? The way his thoughts were running, it appeared he'd already made up his mind. He made to sit up, only to be halted by a barrier of some kind.

A warm barrier. . . Cas.

His arm was slung over Dean's chest, feeling like a cement brick— a _warm_ cement brick. He thought back to how all of this happened, that rainy night and he realized; That's right. This kid didn't just belong to him.

He looked to his left and saw Cas's face, relaxed and content. It was a little weird that he was spooning Dean, but the hunter found he didn't mind as much as he probably should have. The angel's chest was rising and falling evenly, even though he didn't need to do things so menial as breathing. He was sleeping. That was good news. It was becoming easier for him. They didn't even have to have an exhausting fuck session to achieve it, either.

Dean blushed at the thought. It'd been almost a week since then. He wondered if Cas ever thought about it. Did he remember so vividly what it felt like, as Dean did?

Did he remember the intense, carnal nature of it? Did he remember the urgency, how all they both wanted was to _feel_. They threw all caution to the wind and just did what they wanted. Cas had been so angry, so fucking _passionate _and insanely aroused. Dean could still remember the rough fucking he'd received. There was no preparation at all, but he didn't care at the time. He was just as far gone as Cas had been. He'd welcomed it. He'd even asked for it. . . As much as he hated to admit it, it was the best he'd ever had.

And now he was definitely hard. Shit. There was no getting up with Cas's arm on him. No hope of removing it either. He would probably have to wake him. He made to do just that, moving his arm to poke the angel in the face. Castiel merely shifted, throwing his leg over Dean's, wrapping around it tightly. It was then that he could feel it. There was something very hard—very _hot_ between Cas's legs.

Cas currently had his morning wood pressed tight in-between Dean's ass. This shouldn't have turned Dean on as much as it did.

"Cas!" He hissed, trying to get the angel's attention.

"Mmm. . . Dean," Cas moved closer, making Dean's breath hitch. The angel started grinding his dick hard against Dean's ass, the movement causing Dean some serious problems. He must have been wearing boxers, 'cause Dean could feel so much of him. He could feel how hot, how thick and how big it was. He could even feel how slick it was getting. He groaned, feeling his own cock twitch. It definitely shouldn't have been that sexy.

"Cas you need to wake up. . ." Cas was moaning deeply now, his face buried into Dean's neck as he rutted shamelessly between Dean's cheeks. Dean blushed, his dick straining against his boxers. It seemed like Cas was on a mission to get off. Dean was getting hotter too. It would be over once he came, right? Maybe they both could take care of their. . . problems. Cas wouldn't even know it.

He slowly pulled his boxers down to his thighs, freeing his sad erection. He wrapped his hand around it gently as it was sensitive since he hadn't gotten off in a few days. It wasn't enough though. . . And that bulge behind him was just begging to be freed. He bit his lip, knowing he was gonna regret this, before reaching behind him. It took a few failed attempts before finding the hole in Cas's underwear and reaching in. He found the offending erection inside, hot and weeping. He groaned, feeling any control he had before slipping away. He brought his hand back to the front and it wasn't long before Cas was back on his quest, pressing his now naked dick against Dean's ass. Dean ground back onto it. He could feel it pressed tight against his sensitive hole, moving up and down against it, getting it slick with precome.

"Mmmm Dean. . ." Cas moaned, his breath hot and labored against Dean's ear, thrusting his dick clumsily against Dean. Dean pressed hard back, his hand working his cock. God that felt fucking good. He didn't realize just how sensitive he was back there. It wouldn't be long until he finished at this rate.

"That's right baby. Come on. . ." He whispered, stroking himself fast and hard. "Just a little more. . ." Suddenly Cas stopped, body stilled like he'd just woken up.

Which yeah. . .he woke up. Fuck.

"Dean what's. . . why is. . .?" His hand felt around, taking in the situation and Dean's cheeks were on fire. It was like a twelve year old being caught with a porno mag.

"Cas. . . I can explain–" Dean turned to look, but he could feel that Cas was still just as aroused now as he was before. He thought back to that night. The night when that thick dick was inside of him; How hot it made him. "Cas. . ." How was he supposed to tell Cas that he wanted to do it again? He wasn't _that_ open about the whole thing yet. He was still holding onto the dregs of denial.

Cas whispered into Dean's ear. "According to the situation, and the level of arousal we're both in, intercourse would be easily accomplishable, however, with Sam being present . . ." Dean's eyes flew open, lifting up to see that, surely enough, Sam was sleeping soundly on the other bed. His cheeks grew impossibly redder, the sudden threat of getting caught filling him with adrenaline. Cas spoke quietly again. "If you don't want Sam to know, you need to be quiet. Now don't be alarmed. . ." Dean jumped as he felt something warm and slick coating the inside of his hole. Well, If _that_ wasn't the weirdest fucking feeling ever. . .

"What the fuck is that?" Dean whispered, harshly.

"This will make it easier. . ." Suddenly he felt the blunt tip of Cas's cock pop inside of him, it was definitely tight but he didn't feel any pain, which was weird since it'd been a week since he'd had anything in there. He wasn't about to ask questions though. He was quickly being filled to the brim with cock and his mind wasn't working right anymore.

Cas held Dean tight from behind, lifting his leg to get better access. He was kissing and sucking on his neck, making Dean make the most embarrassing sounds.

"Shhh. . ." Cas covered Dean's mouth as he thrust slowly in and out of Dean's ass. Dean couldn't get over the feeling of how hot it was, how thick and long and how it stretched him. It felt so fucking _good_. How was Dean expected to be quiet about it?

Dean yelped, feeling Castiel hit his prostate. He would never get over how good that felt. It would always take him by surprise.

"Dean. . ." Cas whispered, going faster now, pounding that spot. Dean's breath was coming out in gasps now. "I'm already. . ."

"M-Me too. . ." Dean felt Castiel's hand on his cock, grabbing it tightly and stroking fast in time with his thrusts that hit that spot every time. Dean was coming. He bit his lip to stop himself from making too much noise about it but he might have been unsuccessful. His vision filled white and it was like every barrier he had up was torn down for a moment. For one second he was completely vulnerable. Everything he didn't want people to know about him was visible and at Cas's mercy. He melted into the angel behind him. There was nobody else who could hold him together.

Cas's thrusts were jerky and uncontained; Desperate. Dean could feel his cock twitching inside, getting harder by the second. Cas was about to come. God, he wanted Cas to feel good. He wanted to be the one to bring him there. He reached back and kissed him as he did. Cas went ridged, breathing harshly against Dean's lips. Dean could feel the hot spurts filling him up inside until there wasn't any room left.

It was a moment before the angel relaxed, slumping against Dean, still wrapped around him. Still inside. Dean shivered at the contact, the sweet moment of bliss afterward. That moment was a moment Dean would never get tired of; The way that Cas clung to him like he was all the angel had to keep him together. He loved it. Nobody else ever did that.

"Sex with you is. . . mind blowing," Cas said in a normal volume. Dean raised his eyebrows, looking pointedly at Sam. Sam. . . who was still snoozing. "Right. I raised a sound barrier around us at the end. . . You were making too much noise. Sam can't hear a word we say," Dean looked at him incredulously, pretending he didn't hear the part about him making noise.

"Why didn't you just do that when we started?" Cas scratched his brow, looking all but sheepish.

"I'm not sure why, but the threat of detection was. . . arousing." Dean shrugged.

"True enough. . ." He turned around in Castiel's arms, feeling himself becoming crusty in various places but he didn't really care at the moment. He looked into Cas's eyes and saw complete contentment, almost smugness there. He smirked. "You look mighty pleased with yourself,"

"You initiated it by violating me in my sleep. I only finished it," Dean poked Cas's nose, causing him to scrunch up his face.

"Nuh-uh, Mr. angel-pants. You were the one getting a free wet dream. I woke up with you humping my leg like a flippin' dog," Cas furrowed his brow, looking offended at the accusation.

"I am in no way similar to a dog, Dean. You're making it up." Dean snorted.

"Don't try to deny it!" Dean bit his lip. "It was hot, though," Cas was silent for a moment before he spoke again.

"Dean, I think I've figured it out"

"What?"

"If what you said was true, then I know now how to initiate sexual relations with you," Dean lifted his brow, looking amused.

"Oh yeah? How does it work?"

"It involves me having an erection," Dean gaped at Cas, not really seeing him. He wasn't sure if what he heard is what was actually said, but Cas looked completely serious. "Every sexual encounter we've had together was initiated by me being visibly aroused. It took some time, but I've realized that your sexuality towards me stems from seeing me in such a state,"

"Is that so?"

"Precisely." Dean chuckled nervously. Patting Cas on the shoulder.

"Well glad you've got it figured out. Tell me how that works out for you." He shook his head and went back to basking in his post-sex euphoria. Some of the shit Cas said. . .

"You like seeing me aroused, Dean. You especially like. . . _feeling_ it," Dean smacked his shoulder, laughing now.

"Y-You've been reading dirty magazines again, haven't you?" Dean said, nervously. "L-Look, you're a good looking guy, and if I really am gay or bi-sexual or whatever then, yeah, I'm gonna wanna fuck you,"

"You like my penis," Dean blushed furiously, suddenly sent into a coughing fit. He tried to look away but there was no escaping Cas's eyes. "Sometimes I catch you staring at my groin when I'm sitting, or if I'm changing you always look at least for a few seconds. And. . ." Cas paused, cheeks turning pink "You really liked it just a few minutes ago," Dean decided that now was a very good change in subject.

"Cas, I've been meaning to ask. Who was that Raguel bitch?"

"She's an archangel. She's the Archangel of Judgment. If Father was going to gauge the progression of our. . . situation, he would choose her to do it." Dean nodded.

"Makes sense, I guess. So hey. . . umm. . . About our _situation_," Dean didn't have to say it, because there was only one situation that he and Cas both shared. "I don't think it's. . . really a problem," Cas looked confused and Dean scrambled to find the words he wanted to say. "Umm I mean. . . I want to do what you said. I mean. . . I wanna do this. I want to. . ." Dean struggled, trying to find the words he wanted to say without saying it directly. It was still so new.

"You want to keep the baby," Cas was smiling now. It was like all of Dean's uncertainties were washed away upon the sight of the angel smiling so brightly. He couldn't deny that he really loved seeing it.

"Y-Yeah," Dean blushed, feeling Cas's eyes on him. "It's still fucking weird as hell, and I don't know if I'll make a good p-parent or anything, but I w-want it to be with you, okay? I want to do it with you. You're it's dad, after all. . . If I had to choose anyone to do this with, it'd be you," And there it was. The first time Dean had outwardly admitted that yes, he was having a baby. Yes, Castiel was the dad, and _yes_ Dean was kind of happy about all of that. Cas was just beaming now. He leaned in and kissed Dean softly on the lips, making the Winchester melt.

"I'm really not used to having all of these _feelings, _Dean. I don't know what it's like to be a father. Angels don't usually do that so I've never had anybody to compare it to. I have no idea whether or not I'll be adequate." Cas gently touched Dean's stomach and a gentle smile played on his face. Dean shivered at the touch. "All I know is that I feel the same Dean. I wouldn't want it to be with anybody else. I really do love you," Dean's heart started fucking dancing. He gripped Cas's shoulders tightly. Dean was so happy he didn't know what to do with himself. There were so many different feelings inside of him right now. It was like his chest would explode, but he didn't have time to sort it all out.

Now came the hard part.

"We have to leave, Cas,"

"But, we just got back. . ."

"There's no time, we have to leave _now_," Dean paused, pressing his forehead against Castiel's. "I'll explain later. But Sam can't know. Nobody can," Cas froze the area. Sam wouldn't be waking up now until they'd gone.

"Dean," Dean was hastily packing his things in a red duffel. He didn't really have time for chit chat. "Dean, the leviathans are still at large.

"Then we're going to have to travel invisibly, aren't we?" Cas's eyes widened, he must have forgotten.

"We can now, can't we. . ."

"Yep," Dean said, stuffing shirts in his bag.

"You can fly with me, undetected,"

"That's right,"

"Dean if we go into hiding, we will never be able to be in contact with anybody who knows us, lest we be discovered," Cas shifted uncomfortably. "We won't return here. Nobody can find us until the child. . . _our_ child," Cas said, as though testing the words on his tongue. "is old enough to mask it's Grace. We won't be able to fight the leviathans. We would be withdrawing from this war," Dean paused, swallowing. He knew that. Dean wasn't one to back away from the fight but the feeling he had, this feeling that started ever since it all became real. . . It was just something he had to do. He couldn't let any harm fall upon this kid.

"Y-Yeah I know. Now are you gonna help me out here, or not?"

Dean could understand Cas's concern. He knew that two key players disappearing in the middle of a war was the worst idea possible. But things had changed. Whether he liked it or not, he was pregnant now. There were forces that wanted to manipulate, _harm_ the life growing inside of him. Not only did he have God and Sam to worry about, but there was something else; Something that didn't sit quite right with him. It was this persistent, niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he couldn't ignore. All he knew is that it was worse than anything God could cook up. Much worse.

::

Dean stood at the hearth of the hotel room, red duffel in hand. Castiel was packing lightly as always—Bringing absolutely nothing but the clothes on his back. It was time to try invisibility. Dean had to admit he'd been looking forward to this. It wasn't every day when you got to be invisible.

"Take my hand. This is probably going to be tiring for you the first time. If you collapse, I will be there to catch you," Cas looked meaningfully at Dean. Dean looked away blushing, lifting his head.

"Let's do this," Suddenly, they were surrounded by Grace. The light was bright but it didn't hurt. He could feel the gentle flapping of wings behind him and he looked. There, spread out behind Cas, were the wings that he'd seen on that rainy night, the beautiful, black wings that he'd never forget. They were glowing in the light, colors shone off of them that no language had a word for. It was insane. It was fucking beautiful.

"Cas I can see them. . ." He looked at the face of the man next to him. "They're amazing, man," Cas looked back, grinning wide from ear to ear, showing each of his perfect teeth. Dean might have imagined a hint of a smirk, if he didn't know any better.

And they left. It was nothing like the times when Cas would mojo him hither and thither. Usually the sensation lasted only a second, but it was like they were flying in real time. Dean could see everything. He could feel the wind from Castiel's wings, the towns as they flew by. The colors were a mingled blur but it was still fricken awesome.

And Cas. Well, Cas was fucking amazing.

He was shining brightly, his eyes glowing white and his wings strong and powerful as he flew. It was like the air was suspended in time as they passed, not fast enough to keep up with Castiel. It was brilliant. It was Cas. Dean felt just a little smug that this awesome creature chose Dean, of all people, to fall in love with.

But damn was he getting dizzy. The mojo must have been going to his head. It wasn't as bad as Cas made it out to be. He was fine. It was kind of like vertigo, only he had a weird flavor of Brussels sprouts going on in his mouth.

"We're here," Dean found himself in front of a small house. It was nestled in a dense forest, it's doors were a bit lopsided, and the white paint was chipping, but it seemed to be pretty sturdy, if not eons old. There was a stone walkway leading up to the porch. There were trees that were growing too close and various growth and vines wrapped around the columns. It must not have been inhabited for years.

"How are you feeling?" Cas asked, concern on his face.

"I'm fine," Dean said. He was getting a lot dizzier right now just standing there, but he was okay.

"We still have a lot of work to do before we can become visible again. We should hurry. I don't know how long you can hold up," It's like he wasn't even listening. Cas could always see right through him. He didn't even need to read Dean's mind.

::

The boys were silent as they put up wards in the empty house. They'd spent the whole day cleaning and making symbols all over. Cas had explained that it was a one story, foreclosed home, written off the grid and forgotten about. It was out in the middle of nowhere. Nobody would be remembering it any time soon. It was still set up for showing, so there was furniture and appliances. With a bit of Grace they would have electricity and running water.

The cleaning took forever. It was done the old fashioned way because Cas said that excessive use of Grace would draw attention. The wards would only mask so much of it.

"Are you going to tell me why we're doing this, now?" Cas said, breaking the monotony.

"It's. . . It's Sam," Dean said, dropping onto the 60's styled couch in the living room. The hunter was extremely worn out now. His wards were done. It was just Cas that needed to finish. "I don't. . . I can't trust him,"

"Why not?"

"Remember when I told you I had to. . . do something like this before?" Cas nodded. "Well I had a kid, Cas. I had a one night stand with a supernatural that was part of this Amazon tribe or whatever. Anyways, I guess she made it so I would get her pregnant." A pained look spread across the hunter's face before he continued. "The baby grew way too fast Cas. After we had sex, she was pregnant and ended up having the baby overnight. Her name was Emma. She was grown up in two days. It wasn't right. She tried to kill me as part of this ritual and I was supposed to kill her, Cas. I couldn't do it," Dean bit his fist, trying not to lose it.

"But somebody did. . ."

"Sam was there. . . He did it without even hesitating," He sat up and put his elbows on his knees, looking at the shabby carpet. There was a stinging in his eyes, but it must have been the dust. "He saved my life, but at what cost?"

"Dean. . . It's in the past. It shall lie there now. I understand why you mourn the child. It was yours, whether you asked for it or not. My only solace for you is that you didn't know it better than a few days," Dean snorted.

"It was like I watched her entire life in fast forward. . . It was unreal. She was my daughter. . . She wanted to kill me." There was a lump in his throat that Dean couldn't swallow. He felt a strong hand on his own.

"And now, in her memory, you are going to live on. We will not forget her Dean. All the love and protection you didn't get to give to her, we will bestow upon our child. We will do it together,"

"Yeah that's good. . . I just. . . Wish I didn't have to go through that. I'm too young to go through that."

"I'm sorry you did," Dean sighed.

"It is what it is. I'm still here. I'm fucking _pregnant,_ but I'm here. And I have you. I feel. . . _safe_. I can't really say I've been able to say that before,"

"I will do everything in my power to give you a normal life again, Dean." Dean laughed at that. Pure comedy right there.

"Cas, I've never _had_ a normal life and it will never _be_ normal," He kept smiling, looking off at nothing in particular. "I don't even want it to be normal, really. . . But I don't think it's too much to ask for some peace every now and then," Suddenly Dean felt a literal load off as he realized that the invisibility was lifted.

"I'm not really familiar with peace either, but there's no harm in trying." Dean smiled.

"You're right. A little peace never hurt anybody,"

::

"BLARGH—"

"Dean, why is it called morning sickness if it happens at 11 at night?"

"SHUT U—BLAAAAARGH" Castiel winced as he held Dean steady by the toilet. He felt almost guilty that Dean was the only one experiencing this. Cas had tried to sooth Dean's furious stomach with his Grace, but it was like the Grace present inside Dean was repelling it. He wouldn't be able to assist Dean in getting through the more physical aspects of this pregnancy. For that, he felt increasingly useless.

It seemed, after ten more minutes of vomiting, Dean was in the clear. The man stood up wearily, stumbling to the mirror. He looked very cranky indeed. He rinsed his mouth.

"This shit is gonna get old," He said, putting paste on his toothbrush.

"Maybe we should find a pregnancy book when we go shopping tomorrow. It might have tips on how to make it easier." Dean didn't look very impressed at this idea. He paused, looking confused, toothbrush immobile in his mouth.

"We're going shopping?"

"Well, Dean, even though I do not require it, you need food or you'll die. That would be unfavorable," Dean shook his head.

"I mean, we can't be detected. How will we pay for stuff?"

"Dean, God will know where you are no matter how many wards you put up. There is no ward against Him. Sam, on the other hand. The only way he could find us is with the help of another archangel. I can make myself invisible to them if I please, but you will not be found with that tattoo on your chest. If there is a real danger in Sam, Father will know it and will allow us to remain hidden. The child is almost as important to Him as it is to us.

Dean snorted, twirling around and heading back to the little bedroom that was currently plastered in wards. Across from the warped, hand-crafted dresser, there was a queen-sized bed. The sheets were moth-bitten accompanied with dusty pillows and the red blanket was thin and scratchy, but it would do the job at least until they went "Shopping".

"Yeah, well he better keep his fucking distance. Come on, it's time for bed. I'll even let you have the other side. See how generous I am?" Cas stayed back in the doorway, watching as Dean took off his shirt and pants, now only in his boxers before lifting the covers to lay in bed. It was a moment before Dean sat back up, looking annoyed.

"What's the issue? Get in already."

"Dean, I won't be sleeping."

"Why the hell not?"

"I can't monitor the wards and sleep at the same time. I will remain awake. I do not require sleep anyways." Dean sighed.

"Fine. Have it your way. You can at least lay here while you're 'monitoring,' right?"

"There's no reason why I cannot, but, in the past you've expressed aversion to the idea of sleeping in the same bed with me in it. I don't want to bother you," Dean clenched the sheets, not looking up as he spoke.

"It's. . . it's different now, though. Last night when I woke up with you, it was. . . Look, just get in the damn bed!" Dean lifted the covers and Cas complied. He paused before entering, remembering Dean did _not_ approve of trench coats in bed. He undid his belt and his pants. He was down to only his tee shirt and boxers before he crawled into bed with Dean. "You better be there when I wake up too!" Then, the weirdest thing happened to Castiel.

Dean threw both a leg and an arm over his form, fitting his body as close as he could (if he got any closer he would be inside of his skin). His face was buried in the crook of the angel's neck. Cas thought this action to be the most peculiar thing.

"Dean?"

"Mm?" Cas opened his mouth wordlessly before speaking.

"What are you doing?"

"Snuggling. You got a problem with that?"

"Not. . . at all. "

"Then shut up and lemme sleep,"

"Okay, Dean. Good night,"

"'Night."

::

Sam Winchester woke up that day, certain he'd just heard Dean yelling about something, but the bed next to his was empty and Dean was nowhere to be found. Cas was gone too. He'd assumed that they'd just went out or something. There wasn't a note or anything, though. It was kind of their rule to leave notes when leaving.

They were gone all day and it was almost 7 at night when the younger Winchester started to worry.

He tried their cell phones, only to find that they were shut off. Now he was really suspicious. Were they captured? Was it the leviathans?

Or could it be. . .

Lucifer chuckled next to him. "You don't actually believe that they've been captured, do you? It's obvious Dean has run away with Castiel. Obviously they intend to have the child with or without your opinion on the matter."

"But why would they leave?" Sam said, sure that consorting with Lucifer was a bad idea, but he couldn't be bothered to worry about it right now.

"Because what did you do to his last child, Sam?" Sam bit his lip, trying not to remember the look on Dean's face when he realized that Emma had been shot.

"It was necessary and he _knew _that_. _She was about to kill him and he couldn't shoot. I had to do it for him. I took that burden away from him," Sam recalled that they hadn't spoken of that time. Dean carefully avoided the topic.

"A favor you'll never be thanked for. Surely you knew that. And now, with this pregnancy, Dean has turned his back on you. He has betrayed you, the only family he has." Sam stood up angrily.

"You don't know what you're talking about! Dean will call!" He stormed away. From Lucifer or himself, he still didn't know.

::

Cas noticed Dean stirring in his sleep. He wondered if it was a Nightmare. He thought this word with a capital letter in his mind, for they weren't just any nightmares. Dean didn't seem to be aware of it, but, from time to time, he'd have violent nightmares since he'd been resurrected from Hell. Dean would thrash about, crying unintelligible words. Cas knew that Dean would not want Sam to be aware of it, so he kept it quiet for the most part. In the time that he had spent with Dean and Sam, Cas would use his Grace to calm the nightmares and give Dean a dreamless, peaceful sleep. In his absence, he was sure that Sam would know about them by now.

It seemed to be going down that path. Dean started tossing and turning, letting a whimper every now and then. Cas was about to intervene before it got too out of hand, but he stopped when he noticed a faint glow manifest around Dean as he lay in bed. It got brighter and warmer. Noticing the gentle rise and fall of his chest, Cas knew it was over. Dean stopped moving and drifted back into a peaceful slumber.

It was the child. Their child was soothing Dean with its Grace as he slept. It was chasing away the nightmare.

Cas smiled, stroking Dean's hair softly, so as not to wake him. Their child was already so amazing, protecting Dean and not even born. Cas felt a swell of pride at the thought. _His_ child.

Cas didn't often have time to think of his sudden fatherhood. It was still the newest concept of him. The only father he had to reference the process on was his own but that was hardly the type of parenting he wanted to give to his child.

His upbringing was that of a warrior. Born for battle and servitude. The kind of love his Father bestowed upon them was not the same as human love. It was the love that promised devotion from his children. It was the love that told angels that their Father would always be there and that His will was always right.

But Castiel knew now that that kind of love wasn't the right kind. He'd already learned that his Father's will wasn't always the right way. Dean had showed him that. Dean showed him what it was like to have independent thoughts and feelings. What it was like to _want _something for himself. Freedom. True freedom to make his own decisions—To create his _own_ destiny.

The love that he would give to this child was the kind that Dean had taught him. He would teach his child to be independent, to be righteous and to love unconditionally. This child would be the first angel to have a mind of their own. He beamed at the prospect.

He gently pulled down the covers as Dean slept. He could see the slightest swell in his belly and his breath involuntarily hitched at the sight. He again made sure that the roundness in his belly just wasn't the byproduct of one too many cheeseburgers by sensing the growing Grace within. It really was happening, then. It wasn't just some dream or concoction of his growing imagination. Dean was pregnant and with _his_ child. Cas almost hummed in delight.

He wasn't sure why the knowledge made him so _happy. _He'd lived for a few thousand years now, seen much death and destruction, so there were few things that could spark such unprecedented glee in him.

One of these things was Dean. It was established now his feelings for the man. It was easier to comprehend love between two people as it wasn't unheard of for angels to feel this way about each other.

But what he couldn't understand was the unnamed feeling he got when reminded of the fact that Dean was pregnant now because of him. Dean was now vomiting, moody and certainly much more bloated all the time now. Why should his uncomfort make him feel so so. . .

"Smug?" Suddenly the atmosphere went cold and Cas looked up to see Gabriel standing in the corner of the room, arms crossed and smirk on his face. Time was suspended so Dean wouldn't wake up.

"Gabriel. . ."

"Daddy's told me where you're at and gave me a free pass through your angel barriers."

"Why?" Castiel inquired, wondering if this meant trouble.

"Oh, we have a situation on our hands. Sam is being a bad puppy again." Gabriel shook his head. "That boy seems to always be causing us trouble,"

"So Dean was right to worry. . ."

"More than you know." There was no more humor in Gabriel's voice as he spoke, his expression turning dark. "It seems like we've underestimated Lucy by a hair. Sam's visions of him might not all just be in his head. He's actually in contact with Lucifer's consciousness." Castiel jumped out of bed and onto his feet.

"Then we have to do something—!"

"Now if only it were that simple. Lucifer is conscious in Sam's mind, but he's subdued by it. Sam has been denying Lucifer and that's the only thing keeping him at bay. If we were to kill Sam then Lucifer would have free reign in Sam's head and then we'd have a real problem on our hands,"

"But. . ." Castiel sensed a definite 'but' in Gabriel's statement.

"That's not all, Cassie. Sam is hurt by Dean leaving so abruptly and he's not thinking straight. His head is so distracted that he's listening to Lucifer more and more. He's actually started to take his advice," Castiel felt his stomach fill with dread because this was definitely the last thing they needed happening.

"Sam's going to be manipulated. . ."

"He's already being so. . . It's not long until he starts doing Lucifer's bidding whether he knows it or not. And if it's one thing we know, baby brother—"

"Lucifer is the master manipulator,"

"Yes. He can take any sinister plan and make it seem like you're solving world hunger if your mental defenses are weak enough. Sam's mental defenses have never been particularly strong. The worst of it all, Castiel, is that Lucifer will know about the child and want it for himself," Castiel balled his fist, rage bubbling up in his chest.

"He won't have it if it's the last thing I do,"

"Well, Dean is pregnant so he can't defend himself from it. Going into hiding was the best decision, but it won't last forever. Lucifer _will_ find you once he is strong enough in Sam's mind. The only thing we can do is make it harder for him. Dean _must_ have this baby and you _must_ protect him. This is priority level red. Sam Winchester is now considered enemy of heaven number one and no angel will be kind to him. I know you think you're above the law now but this is bigger than you and Dean whether you like it or not."

"I'm not taking orders from you Gabriel. I have no allegiance to heaven anymore. I will do what I have to to protect Dean and our child. Of that, you have my word."

"Well you better make sure of that. I'll be checking in every few weeks to see how things are progressing and checking your security. I'd advise you to keep this information from Dean while he's pregnant. You're safe for now so there's no need to cause unnecessary stress on the pregnancy. Besides, I know Dean can get _hella_ pissy, so imagine what he's like with a bunch of preggo 'mones!"

"It would be unfavorable. . ."

"Yep, best keep it under wraps for now! I'll leave you two back to your honeymoon. Toodles!" And with a 'POP', Gabriel was gone and time unfroze itself. He sighed and crawled carefully back into bed, trying not to wake Dean. He was unsuccessful though. Dean stretched and turned to face him, greeting the angel with the purest, most sincere smile.

"Hey you,"

"Dean," Cas felt the weight of the world on his shoulders lift as he looked into Dean's face. The man, unaware of the trouble unfurling around him, was there looking more content than Cas had ever seen him. He leaned his forehead against Dean's and breathed in his scent. Cedar and apples. So very Dean. . .

"What's up?" Cas drew his arms around the hunter and pulled him in tight. Dean patted him on the back, sounding a bit worried. "Cas?"

Why couldn't they just stay like this? In Dean's arms, he was at peace as the morning sun greeted them with it's warm glow. No worries or sadness to put a damper on their spirits. They had each other and that seemed to be enough. For now, Castiel decided, he would enjoy the harmony until the oncoming storm that was just around the corner. He would spend every moment with Dean as though it were his final. He would give Dean all the happiness he could until it all came to an end and they had to fight for their lives, for their child. . . Before his inevitable reunion with his brother that fell farther than any angel.

He kissed Dean then, the hunter protesting a little before relaxing into the kiss. He kissed him chastely but meaningfully, hoping Dean would feel his love for him in the gesture. He felt Dean's pulse speed up and he let go, looking deeply in those forest green eyes. Dean was red-faced and looked a little taken aback. He bit his lip and looked away.

"You're acting weird. . ." Dean said, his voice just a little breathless.

He stroked the side of Dean's face, feeling his heart break at the thought of losing him or their child to Lucifer. He wouldn't let it happen. He just couldn't.

He would protect them no matter what.

* * *

><p>an: The situation is getting a little more fiery now huh? I'm borrowing a term from Doctor Who that I feel describes the situation perfectly. Hope any whovians out there don't mind. If there are mistakes, point them out and I'll go back and fix them. I just want to get this out because I owe it to you all for being fantastic reviewers! ::hint hint hint hint:: Apparently cookies are the virtual currency if one wants reviews, so I give them to you! Virtual cookies for all!


	9. Up In Flames

Seeing in Black

Ch. 9 Up in Flames

A/N: Hello I'm still here. Thank you all for the lovely reviews for those of you whom I did/could not reply to! I read every one of them! I'm not even going to try to make excuses as to why this took so long (it would probably be lame anyways). A note, I updated the term 'angel-human hybrid' to 'nephilim', because it's easier to say and it's an actual, you know, _thing_. And I've edited this myself, but I really suck at that so expect mistakes. . . All that aside, here's your 10 thousand words of fucking porn.

Chapter warning(s): Language, sex (seriously it's part of the plot I promise. . .)

Disclaimer: I do not own this Supernatural shit.

* * *

><p>Dean woke up before Castiel to find the angel curled tightly up to his side, softly snoring. The morning was a bit chilly, and their tattered blanket was not doing the job. Dean swallowed his pride, remembering he'd already shamelessly cuddled with Castiel last night, and wrapped his body around the angel, causing Cas to stir. His bleary blue eyes blinked open and connected with Dean's green ones. Cas's mouth quirked into a smile and held the hunter tighter against him and Dean sighed.<p>

He didn't want to admit it but he absolutely _loved_ this. Cas was an expert cuddler and Dean had _never _allowed himself to do this with anybody, lest he injure his pride beyond repair.

"Good morning, Dean," Dean rested his head against Castiel's shoulder, yawning deeply.

"Mornin'. It's chilly in here, isn't it?"

"Would you like me to make it warmer?" Dean thought for a second and felt his face heat up at the many ways he could picture Cas making it 'warmer'. Great, morning wood, anyone?

"N-Nah. . . I'm fine like this. D-Don't want to get detected with your mojo or anything,"

"Dean," Dean looked up.

"What?" Castiel's face flushed and he looked away.

"I want to kiss you. . ." Dean felt the air escape his lungs and his face start to burn. Why did he just have to say it like that?

Dean didn't know what to say and he couldn't tear away his gaze from the angel's lips. He remembered kissing them when they had sex yesterday and God they felt nice. Castiel's lips were soft and warm and mmm. . . How could Dean say no?

"Y-You don't have to ask. . ." His face burned as hot as the sun and he looked away, mortified by just how easy that had slipped out. Had he just given Cas permission to kiss him whenever he wanted? Before he knew it Cas was kissing him. His lips just as hot and soft as before and Dean couldn't prevent a soft moan from escaping his lips when he felt Cas push his tongue inside.

Before he knew it, Dean was pressed into the bed, Castiel on top of him and ravishing him in just the right way. It was like with every lick and touch and bite, Dean was being worshipped by Cas. He felt like he was the rarest treasure in the world and the angel had just found it. It was turning him on _so _much and they just kept kissing. . .

. . .And kissing, and kissing.

He was sure that, by now, Cas could feel Dean's straining erection stabbing him in the leg, but the angel said and did nothing about it. And why? Dean was one step short of spreading his legs and begging for it. Fuckin' clueless angels. . .

"Hey. . ." Dean said, breaking their kisses and panting hard against Cas's lips. Cas was panting equally as hard.

"Yes Dean?" Dean looked down, quirking his eyebrow suggestively.

"Let's do something a little more interesting. I'm going crazy here. . ."

"I don't understand. This is very interesting for me," Dean groaned in frustration before moving his hand and gripping Castiel's package tightly, making the angel suck in a sharp breath.

"This is more interesting. . ."

"A-Are you soliciting me for sex?" Dean groaned, turned on even more by Castiel's Gregorian way of talking about sex.

He caught the angel's lips again and soon they were scrambling out of what little clothes they were wearing. Castiel grabbed Dean's hips and ground his cock against the hunter's, making them both moan. "S-Shit. . ." Dean rolled his hips up against Castiel, gripping his shoulders as they rutted.

"You're right. This is i-infinitely more interesting. . ." Cas took Dean's lips again and fucked him thoroughly with his tongue, making Dean make all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Dean pulled away, slightly breathless, remembering the first time they fucked. It was so hot the way Cas just let go and couldn't control himself. . .

"H-Hey. . ."

"What?"

"Your wings. . . Let me see them?" Castiel blushed crimson and, after a moment's hesitation, the room was filled with black. The beauty of Castiel's wings never got old. It was always a different experience and God. . . They were more beautiful than ever. "So gorgeous. . ." Castiel blushed harder, looking more dumbstruck than ever.

"I'm glad you find them adequate," Dean sat up reaching out and stroking the soft covert feathers, causing the angel to shiver. Dean took his hand away, worried he might have hurt the man. "S-Sorry I just. . ."

"D-Don't stop. . ." Dean raised his eyebrows, taking note of Cas's flushed face and his trembling hands on his hips.

"You like it?" Dean experimentally stroked the feathers again, harder this time and Cas fucking _moaned_. God, if that wasn't the sexiest sound in the whole world!

"Nnnn. . . It's so sensitive there. . ." Dean felt his mouth go dry when he realized he'd found a sensitive spot on Castiel that had nothing to do at all with Jimmy Novak. He wrapped his hand around the area and stroked, making Cas turn into butter on top of him. He smirked, doing it to the other wing now. Cas was shaking now, panting harshly against the hunter's neck.

"Feels good?" Dean whispered into Cas's ear. Cas shuddered, almost fucking _purring_.

"Y-Yes. . . it feels incredible. . ." Cas was grinding hard against Dean's cock now, soft moans escaping from his perfect pink lips. "Mmm I want to be inside of you," Dean groaned.

"F-Fuck. . . Then what are you waiting for you dummy . . .?" Cas kissed him before reaching for his signature trench coat and digging in the pockets briefly before pulling out a tube that looked suspiciously like a tube of lube. . . "What is that? Is that KY? What the hell. . . Why don't you just do the thing? You know, the thing you did yesterday?" Castiel looked at Dean sternly, untwisting the cap and squeezing a generous amount on his fingers.

"We can't use Grace on trivial things like this, Dean. If that was the case, the house would be spotless,"

"So you're classifying the safety of my ass to the level of 'trivial house cleaning?" Dean asked, offended.

"I have done extensive research. I know how to do this." Dean looked at him skeptically, his ass clenching shut at the thought of having Cas's fingers in there. He was sure that he preferred the Grace method, thank you very much. Cas's gaze softened and he gently stroked the Winchester's cheek. "Please trust me?" Dean blushed and looked away.

"A-As if I don't trust you, dummy," Dean was met in a hot kiss and was surprised when he felt a slick hand on his dick instead of his ass. He groaned, his hips moving up to meet each stroke and God. . . Cas's hands were firm and soft at the same time. It felt so good. . .

He welcomed Castiel's hot tongue, wrapping his fingers around his hair so that he couldn't escape. The touching lasted a few minutes before Dean felt more lube being squirted down there, this time feeling it drip down his crack.

As much as he was nervous, he was just as turned on.

Cas's fingers slid down, massaging his balls before slipping past to the patch of skin that lay in front of his hole. He pressed into it with his thumb, rubbing circles as they kissed and Dean wondered if this was really all that bad? Sure, he hadn't gotten inside yet but, all nervousness aside, this was fuckin' _hot. _

More lube. Fingers gently caressing his hole. . . Nervousness. . .

Even though he'd already had Cas's _dick _up there. . . For some reason this felt different. It felt more. . . intimate. Cas was about to touch him in a place where no fingers have gone before. . . He would be able to see Dean's reaction clearly without the sexual haze. He would see just how exposed Dean felt when Cas was inside of him. . . it would be even worse. . .

The first finger slipped slowly past the tight ring of muscles, Cas's thumb still stroking his perineum. Dean didn't know whether to be turned on or mortified. The result was him clenching as tight as he possibly could until Cas was forced to stop. Cas stopped kissing him and looked up at his face.

"Dean you need to relax. It's going to hurt if you don't,"

"I'm perfectly relaxed!"

"It's like my finger has been caught in a Venus fly trap. I can't remove it even if I wanted to," Dean clenched his eyes and relaxed as best he could, _down there_. Cas instantly pressed deeper, now slowly thrusting his finger in and out. It didn't hurt at all, Dean supposed because they'd just done it the other day, it was just weird, feeling something wiggling around in there. Dicks didn't wiggle. They just went in, did the job and came out. No questions asked.

This. . . _this _however, was something different altogether. Yes he definitely didn't hate it as much as he probably should have. When the second finger came, there was more tension, but it still didn't particularly hurt. He grabbed the sheets as Cas thrust in and out, scissoring and stretching, and continuing to kiss him and stroke his cock with his other hand. Dean moaned, imagining Cas shoving his thick cock inside of him.

"Does it feel good?" Cas asked against his lips in that low, sexy baritone of his. Dean's stomach did a few flips.

"More. . ." He said softly, cheeks burning.

"Like this?" Cas said, his features hard now, the thrusts of his fingers becoming sharper and angling at his prostate. Dean cried out when it hit, worried his toes might just curl into his feet.

"Cas. . . N-Not that just. . . just," Dean's voice was definitely more moany than he would like, but then again he couldn't really help it. Cas's lips quirked.

"It's not enough, right? You want something bigger inside. . ." Dean felt his face get hot at Cas's words. Dean just moaned as Cas struck his naughty spot repeatedly with his fingers. "Shall I put it in?"

"F-Fuck!"

"I'll do that as well," Cas placed the tip of his dick against Dean's oversensitive hole, pressing in slowly. Dean held tightly onto Cas's shoulders and bit his lip trying not to ignore how much he liked the feel of Cas's dick moving inside of him. Before he knew it the angel bottomed out and he bit his lip, the feeling of being filled with Cas way more sexy than it should be.

Their lips met in a hot tangle of tongues and needy sounds. Cas's hands found Dean's nipples and tweaked and pinched them, making the Winchester whine. Was Cas really going to tease him _now?_

"Dude come on . . ."

"Mmm. . . Dean your body is alight with nerve responses right now. I'm simply enjoying watching the way they light up because of the way I'm touching you,"

"That sounds so perverted!" Dean blushed, feeling even more exposed than he did naked. Dean gripped Castiel's wings and rubbed them firmly, making the angel gasp. Hell if he would be the only one feeling vulnerable right now! "You gonna fuck me or not?"

"D-Dean. . ." Cas pulled out and slammed in with zero warning and Dean cried out. Dean's hands were tangled in black feathers as Cas's thick, hard cock pounded against his cum button. Dean grabbed the sheets beneath him, trying to bite back his moans. Cas had his legs spread wide, head thrown back and Dean couldn't get over just how sexy Cas looked; White skin glistening, black wings rumpled and Cas just looking entirely debauched.

Cas leaned over Dean, shifting a bit and ending up aimed right at Dean's prostate. Dean grit his teeth, throwing his head back and rolled his hips, meeting all of Cas's thrusts. Dean groaned low in his throat because fucking _yes_ this was what he liked. "Shit right there!" Cas groaned.

"Does it feel good. . .?" Cas's breath was labored and he was thrusting so desperately now. He was going to come. Dean knew it. He could feel it.

"Yes. . ." Dean moaned his response, rolling his hips to meet Castiel's thrusts eagerly.

"I like. . . ah. . .doing it. . .like this," Cas moaned, pounding him harder and harder hitting that spot with precision Dean knew wasn't human. It set his body on fucking _fire._ Dean's body bowed the bed, feeling a familiar warmth over his body, like electricity dancing across his skin. He realized it was Cas's Grace. He could recognize how it felt and instantly his feeling intensified. It was like every sensitive place became twice as sensitive and he was _moaning_. He was crying out to every deity he could think of and over and over Cas's name.

"C-Cas, _God_ fuck me harder. . ." Cas was hunched over him now, fucking him ruthlessly, his wings twitching. Dean groaned when he felt teeth bite down on his neck and his hands become restrained by Cas above his head. His dick was twitching, wanting to come so badly but he couldn't touch.

"Mmmm Dean I'm enjoying you right now. I don't want it to be over. I could do this forever," Fuck! Cas probably could too. . . bastard!

"Cas, come on. . .!"

"What?" Dean blushed, looking away. There was no way he was going to say it. . . "Dean I don't know what you want. . ."

"Yes you do, you bastard," Cas's lips twitched upwards, and he slowed down his thrusts, pulling out as far as he could as slowly as possible before plunging back in hard until he bottomed out. He did this over and over and Dean blushed, biting his lip. "nnnnnnnn! Why are you doing this?"

"I heard that the longer one is denied an orgasm, the more gratifying the sensation becomes later," Cas went painfully slow, driving Dean insane.

"S-Shitt Cas, you sadistic fucker. . ."

"Mmm I want to hear you say it," Dean blushed, not able to take it anymore.

"F-Fuck Cas just please. . ."

"Please what?" Dean shut his eyes, taking a breath before opening them again and looking straight into Cas's eyes, feeling all of his control break, he couldn't believe he was actually about to say this.

"P-Please let me c-come. . ." Groaning, Cas freed Dean's hands, grabbing onto the hunter's cock and proceeded to fuck him for all he was worth. Dean was crying out now, hands wrapping around Cas's neck as if it would hold him together as he came apart.

In no time at all, his orgasm came crashing over him. He knew he was muttering unintelligible words, also Castiel's name repeatedly over and over, but he couldn't really think of any reason to care. It felt so damn _good._

Dean could feel Cas lose it. The lights started flickering when they weren't even turned on, the air around them was turning into a strong wind and the bed was shaking. Cas buried himself as deep as he could go. moaning through his orgasm. Dean shivered as he felt Cas let loose inside, trying desperately to deny how sexy it was. Cas's eyes burned white and the wind grew stronger, shattering the light bulbs in the room and rattling the panes of the windows. Dean just hoped the window wouldn't break too.

And then it was like nothing happened. Both men were spent and near-delirious. They lay panting on the bed, curled up together.

"That was pretty intense. . ." Dean grumbled. Cas smirked, still nuzzled into Dean's neck.

"It was, particularly," Dean curled his fingers into Castiel's hair, massaging the skin beneath it. Cas breathed in and out deeply, tracing the sigil on the Winchester's chest that he had placed there.

Dean wondered if this was going to become a regular occurrence. Wake up. Get unbelievably fucked by the sexiest angel ever. Coffee.

It would be a perfect domestic occurrence, save the fact that it was an angel. And a _man_. Also there wasn't any coffee. There wouldn't be coffee either until they went shopping.

Cas had wrapped his body around Dean, refusing to let go.

"Cas, we should probably get up."

"No." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Dude, we need to go shopping,"

"I require this," Dean choked on a laugh.

"Warrior of God requires post-sex cuddling? That's rich,"

"I don't find the humor in this," Cas adjusted himself. "I don't understand it either, but it's necessary," Dean smiled.

"It's okay, Romeo, I understand,"

"My name is Ca—"

"—Shh!" Dean shoved Cas away and stood up, stretching. "I'm gonna take a shower. Get your ass up."

Dean opened the door to the bathroom and that was when he realized for the first time that there wasn't a shower. _Really? _ They didn't have soap, so what would be the point in just sitting in a footed-tub of water with no means of washing himself? He groaned in frustration, storming out of the bathroom. "There's no shower, for fuck's sake. Just how old _is_ this house?"

"It is precisely one hundred and six years old." Dean shook his head and stumbled feeling a sudden wave of nausea hit him. Shit. Here we go. . .

After fifteen minutes of vomiting and being held steady by Castiel, he proceeded to wash his face in the sink, mumbling curses all the while. Cas stood by the door, watching so as to be there if Dean was hit with another episode. Dean might have found it creepy a couple of years ago but he was actually grateful and thought it was kind of sweet.

Besides. . . Cas just fingered him and fucked him into the mattress. . . he had more invasion of privacy rights than before, didn't he?

Dean almost choked because not in his entire life would he think he could ever say he was just casually sleeping with a _man_.

A decidedly adorable man though. . . Dean sighed and proceeded to brush his teeth.

:oOo:

"So what's on the list?" Dean asked as they made their way into town. Walking. It wasn't too far from the house, and the morning was beautiful. Dean didn't really mind.

"Blankets, pillows, toilet paper, shower head, soap, shampoo, hand soap, towels. Food. Coffee. . . Dean I don't know how we're going to carry all of this back to the house,"

"Well you're like a walking piece of metal. You can be the bulk carrier. I can carry all the food and shit. These guns aren't just for show!" Dean flexed his bicep and wiggled his eyebrows. Cas was completely unaffected which hurt the hunter's pride just a little bit.

"Yes well, we can always come back for things. I don't want you to overdo it," Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure I can manage a few bags of groceries!"

"You're pregnant," Dean was irritated already. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of _that._

"Shut up," Castiel didn't miss a beat and quickly circumvented the impending argument.

"Dean, Can I ask you a question?"

"What?" Dean said, his mood deflated.

"Do you have to call out for my father while we fornicate? I understand it's an expletive that humans don't even think about when engaging in sexual activities but the word "God" is different for me so when I hear you calling "God yes, fuck me harder," I can't help but imagine you being penetrated by my dad and that is not comfortable for me to think about," Dean gaped at Castiel, not able to process what was just said. He looked away and visibly shook off the impact of the angel's words and it was like nothing had even happened. "Dean please. . ."

"What else am I supposed to say?!" Dean said, blushing furiously, hardly able to believe they were actually having this conversation.

"Well you can say my name or you can call me. . . Well you can call me baby?"

"_Baby_?!"

"Yes well. . . Humans in verbal intimacy, couples that are. . ._ physical_ tend to call one another 'baby'. For some reason that I don't know the answer to," Dean blushed. How could he call Cas that? That would be like. . . acknowledging they were a couple. . . .

They kissed, cuddled, they fucked, and they were living together. They were even having a _baby _together for fuck's sake.

But they were _not _a couple.

Th-There was no way.

"Why would you want me to call you _that_?" Dean asked, blushing.

"I-I don't in particular, I was just trying to find an alternative for you to say rather than my father. . . "

"I don't even know what to say to that. _Christ_, way to make walking to the store the most awkward thing in the world, dude!" Dean walked ahead, blushing madly. The sooner they got to the store, the better. Cas at least knew better than to talk about these kind of things in public.

:oOo:

At the local convenience store, Dean thought things were going nicely. They'd quickly found nearly all the items on the list and they were almost finished. They just needed blankets and food.

Dean was currently scrutinizing the selection of bedspreads available and he was _not _satisfied. All they had was girly shit and fancy mumbo jumbo. It was a few minutes before Dean picked out a set that he deemed acceptable for the bed at the house. It was forest green with brown and red plaid strewn across it. Dean held it up to Cas.

"What do you think?"

"it matches your eyes," Cas pointed out. He cocked his head in wonder as Deans entire body seemed to turn red at his words.

"The hell. . . " He muttered and stuffed it at the bottom of the cart, avoiding Castiel's eyes. _Why does he suddenly say shit like that?_. Cas went up behind him and leaned in to whisper.

"I like it because of that," Dean froze and shuddered visibly, his breath coming out in short huffs.

"I-I got that!" Dean said irritably. Come on. . . We shouldn't stay out here too long." For some reason Dean wasn't quite done in the blanket section of the store. He kept trying to add more and more blankets to the cart, because for some reason, one just wasn't enough, (it was really cold in the house!)but Cas reminded him that they were walking back and Dean decided to limit his choices to two. Cas seemed confused as to why Dean wanted so many, hell Dean didn't even really know why he wanted so many. But Cas said they could always get more if they needed to, which was good enough, Dean supposed.

They were about to check out when Dean made an abrupt stop by the clothing aisle. The _baby _aisle. He swallowed and walked up to a tiny pair of jeans and thumbed it, as if trying to ascertain whether or not it was real.

He realized all at once that soon he'd have to buy this shit. . . That was crazy just to think about.

What was sad was that, his entire life he didn't ever think about buying clothes for a baby. He didn't think he'd ever have the opportunity to. He'd always known that if he knocked a girl up, he wouldn't be around for her or the kid. 'The Job' kind of snuffed out any chance for that. But now, soon, he'd have to provide a life for someone other than himself or Sam. Dean stared intrigued at the miniature clothes. What would his kid wear? Would he wear jeans and t-shirts like him? Or would _she _wear dresses and blouses?

He absentmindedly rubbed his stomach, some foreign feeling blooming around him. Suddenly the world was silent.

He was going to be a _dad. . ._

Holy fucking shit.

"Dean? Is everything alright?" Dean snapped out of his stupor, turning wide eyed to Cas, his fucking _baby daddy. _

_Shit!_

"U-Um. . . Y-Yeah. L-Let's get outta here. . ."After they got the food they left. Not as weighed down as Dean thought they would be. Cas tried to convince Dean to let him carry all of it but Dean would have none of that. He wasn't some princess.

When they got back to the house, Dean wasted no time in setting up the comforter set and installing the shower head, putting everything away and doing some cleaning to take his mind off of the monumental epiphany he'd just had at the store. After all was put away, Dean declared that he'd be in the shower for a very long time while Cas took this time to search for any signs of detection or break in their security. All appeared to be well until a very manly shriek could be heard from the bathroom.

Castiel was in there in record time. He barged in to find the floor wet and Dean huddled against the corner of the shower, completely naked and looking like the shower was trying to kill him.

"Dean, is everything alright?" Dean looked at the angel incredulously.

"The water. . . it's fucking ice! Where is the hot water?!"

"The water heater has been out of function for twenty years. It's probably broken." Dean threw up his hands in defeat. Of course it would be fucking _broken!_

"And you couldn't bother to tell me that?"

"I was going to inspect the hardware in the basement this morning, however we ended up. . . compromised. It completely slipped my mind for some reason. . ."

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled the shower curtain to cover his intimates.

"Look. . . I just really need a shower. I don't want to wait for it to be fixed. . ." Cas furrowed his brow, stepping into the shower. Dean tightened his grip on the blue shower curtain subconsciously. Castiel glanced in his direction before grabbing onto the shower head until the metal turned red-hot.

"That should provide a comfortable temperature for your water. You only have fifteen minutes, which is small enough to avoid detection. I'd advise you to hurry up," Castiel stepped out and Dean shuffled over to the taps and turned on the water, flinching when it hit him only to realize that it wasn't freezing cold (or burning hot, for that matter). He grinned.

"Thanks man. I can fix the water heater later if you just wanna relax."

"I don't need to relax, however you do. I will fix the water heater." Dean was about to snap at him for treating him like a princess when Cas hastily exited. Sneaky bastard!

Dean quickly washed, not wanting the water to turn cold on him but he realized he finished really fast. Castiel was out there, he could just feel it.

"Cas get in here!" He didn't know what possessed him to say it, but Castiel came into the bathroom, looking apprehensive.

"Yes?"

"I ain't sleeping with a smelly angel. Get in here with me, since we have to save the hot water and everything. . ."

"Dean, I am an angel of the Lord, my Grace is constantly cleansing me. . ."

"Just. . . Get your ass in here," Cas looked confused for a moment before he shrugged off his coat and his clothes before stepping into the shower.

Even though he knew Cas would come in there, and he would be naked, the sight still managed to catch him off guard. Apparently Cas was doing some corporal appreciation of his own kind, because his eyes were glued to Dean's head.

"What are you staring at. . .?"

"Counting again your 110,000 hair follicles, I just realized each bundle of wet spikes holds about 75 hairs. It is nearly perfectly counted for each one except at the back when the count rises to about 150. . . Rarely in human beings are things like this perfect so I've learned to appreciate random instances of perfection and well. . . on you it is very attractive," Dean felt his ears turn red and he turned around, completely embarrassed.

"T-The hell dude?_Th-That's _attractive to you?"

"It's the first thing I noticed," Dean rolled his eyes. Weird angels. . .

"So, uh. . . Let's get you washed up, yeah?" Dean offered. Cas looked at the Winchester blankly.

Dean rolled his eyes and took the bath pouf, squirting soap into it and lathering it. He handed it to Castiel and lifted a brow.

Cas squinted his eyes and gently started dragging the pouf slowly down his shoulder. Dean watched him for what was about a minute. By the time he'd made his way down the side of his leg and to his foot, Dean let out a frustrated huff and grabbed the pouf.

"You're supposed to _scrub_. Jesus, do I have to do everything? How did you survive that time you were human?" Dean pressed the pouf against Cas's chest and gently scrubbed in circles all over. Dean suspected Cas was just messing with him to get some skin, the pervert. . . But Dean was watching him and he couldn't tear his eyes away. Cas was so hot, white skin glistening with water and suds. Every line of muscle seemed perfectly sculpted and God. . . He knew it was Jimmy Novak's body but Cas wore it _well. _

Dean scrubbed around the angel's shoulders and briefly around his sides before it met in front again, this time slowly scrubbing his way down Cas's abdomen. Cas opened his eyes when Dean's hand stopped and he was met with the darkest blue he'd ever seen. His pupils were wide and his mouth was open letting out short puffs of air. It was then that Dean realized what he was doing. Just how much of Cas was he planning on washing?

Dean knew this look. Castiel was aroused. This was dangerous.

This was _hot_. . .

Dean swallowed and moved his hand lower, never tearing his gaze from Castiel. Oh shit, was he seriously going to do this? His actions would speak volumes and Cas wasn't deaf when it came to sex. Even though he knew this. . . he wanted to.

He wanted Cas. . .

Dean studied his face intensely as he reached the angel's groin, pausing before pressing more firmly against it, lightly rubbing the sponge through the crevice between leg and hip.

Cas grabbed Dean's hand when he started sliding the sponge up the angel's already hardening cock. The pouf was dropped unceremoniously to the floor of the shower.

"Why did you call me in here?" Cas asked, curiously. Dean suspected he already had an idea.

"W-What? T-To wash up, obviously," Dean looked around, anywhere to avoid Castiel's gaze. The Winchester was blushing now, his words fumbling on his lips. What was he supposed to say? _I've been horny and I subconsciously wanted an excuse to touch you! _

"Your face is flushed, pupils dilated, reactions jittery and your phallus is quickly engorging," Dean's eyes widened in panic and his face grew impossibly more red.

"Y-Yeah? Well for your information I was only thinking of getting clean before you came in here,"

"As per your invitation, I might add,"

"Y-Yeah well . . ." Dean looked into Castiel's blue eyes with a heated, half-lidded gaze. "Maybe I didn't care what happened once you made it in here. . ."

"What could possibly happen in a shower?" Castiel asked, his voice deeper than it usually was. Dean opened his mouth, looking away but no words came out. He blushed, raising an eyebrow and shrugging. Castiel's eyes widened and he pulled Dean close so that their wet bodies were flush.

"I knew you'd get there. . ." Dean said, eyes trained on Castiel's lips. For some reason he had the unbearable urge to taste them. . . Cas seemed to read his mind.

Those soft lips claimed his, hands roaming his body and he could feel the man's cock against his hip, grinding slowly and tightly. Cas was suddenly everywhere, filling every one of Dean's senses and he felt his cock twitch when he realized quickly where this was going. Without denying it, the hunter savored the taste of Cas and dug his nails into his back as he held on steadfastly, lest he slip from the water.

Dean gasped when Castiel's lips traveled further down his neck, sucking and licking every expanse of tanned skin he could reach. Dean groaned deep in his throat and Cas sucked on it harder.

Cas was simply too sexy. Any control Dean might have had always seemed to fly out the window when a certain angel was involved.

And in the span of two seconds, the water went from molten lava to subzero.

Dean screamed. It was a very manly scream.

The Winchester quickly flew out of the shower and grabbed a brand new towel, wrapping it around himself tightly and breathing harshly. Cas stepped out of the shower, unaffected by the abrupt change in temperature.

"I lost track of time. . . That usually doesn't happen. . ." Cas asked, more to himself than anything. Dean stared at him wide eyed.

"I will never take fifteen minutes lightly ever again in my entire life. . . I might need half a day for my balls to crawl back down from my stomach."

"Right, well, why don't you get dressed?." Cas said. Dean looked down. Certainly his own problem was precisely snuffed out, but Cas was still as hard as a steel bar. He stopped Cas from leaving the bathroom.

"H-Hey you're still. . . " Dean looked down at Castiel's groin for a fraction of a second before he looked up, blushing furiously.

"It's fine. Don't worry about me. Please just dry yourself before you get sick. Humans have a lower tolerance for cold than angels." Dean nodded. It wasn't like Dean didn't know what a painful hard-on was. He wasn't going to deny that it sucked and well. . . H-He could probably have helped him with it but he was way too embarrassed to say that. Instead he took the easy out Cas had just given him.

"W-Well we should probably make some lunch anyways. . ." Dean's eyes traveled down to the angel's groin again, locking on it for a moment before he tore his eyes away. "Uh. . . Yeah. 'Kay I'll be getting dressed." Dean turned away, only to be stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," Dean turned and was met with Castiel, not an inch away. The angel pressed their lips together in a lingering, opened mouth kiss. Suddenly every motor skill Dean knew stopped and he froze. Cas pulled away after a moment, leaving Dean breathless and dazed. "I'll meet you downstairs," The hunter gripped the handle of the door tightly, looking like he might topple over.

"Y-Yeah. . . M-Meet you down there. . ."

After Cas left, Dean quickly dried up, taking his time with his hair and shaving simply to avoid seeing the angel when he stepped out. He didn't know how long it would take Castiel to dress (probably only a second, quite literally), but he didn't want to take any chances.

To put it bluntly, he was freaking out. Ever since they arrived at this place, Dean had been acting like some blushing bride on her honeymoon and this was definitely _not_ cool.

Only he didn't know how to stop.

Cas was fucking _perfect_.

He knew just the perfect way to cuddle, was mind-blowing in bed and seemingly condoned shower sex. . . This house was a bit shabby, but it felt strangely comfortable to Dean. It was even more comfortable sharing the space with Cas. If you ignored the part where Cas also had a penis, it would be like a goddamn dream come true.

The mood had wormed it's way into Dean's mind and he couldn't stop thinking about this perfect morning when he had perfect sex with this perfect man and had a perfect shopping trip. It was almost like they were. . . T-Together.

He splashed cold water on his face, looking at his expression in the mirror.

Aw fuck. He was _glowing_.

He spun around with a towel wrapped around his waist. Trying to clear the fog from his head. It had to be the pregnancy. There was no other way Dean would act so giddy about domestic life. He'd long ago accepted that he would never have a life like that. This was no different. This was temporary. Dean could _not_ get attached to it.

He couldn't. . . Right?

What made him think that something like this would even _last_? This was until he had the baby. . . Until the baby was able to suppress it's Grace and. . .

Well gosh. . . That seemed like it would be an awful long time.

Was it okay to get used to this kind of lifestyle? The consequences of letting himself slide into the slippery slope of commitment would be far, far away, right?

Couldn't he just enjoy his time with Cas?

Noooo no no no no. There was the pregnancy talking again. Why did Dean need to enjoy his time with Cas, anyways? This was about not getting killed or attacked and keeping his b-baby safe. . .

But _God. . ._ Why couldn't he just enjoy himself a vacation from demons and freaks just a little bit?

It's not like he didn't earn it. . .

And this _thing _with Cas. . . Whatever it was turning into. . . It was big and scary but. . . Cas seemed to be letting him do this at his own pace, which he was eternally grateful for. If he had to turn gay, or bi or whatever, Cas was the perfect guy to turn for. He was so sweet and he was always there. . . He promised he wouldn't leave and he _cared_. Cas fucking _cared_ about him so much. It was nice to have someone care about him that wasn't his brother. Someone he could depend on and trust.

Cas had messed up in the past but. . . Dean was willing to give him another shot. And if they were going down a road that happened to be full of sweet kisses and mind-blowing sex. . . Well who was Dean to complain? The kiss Cas had just given him. . . He could feel how much Cas loved him in those few seconds, in that firm press of lips on lips, the way Cas's breath hitched after like an addict that had just gotten his fix. Being loved like that couldn't be a bad thing. . .

Maybe he would stop being wound so tight with his pride and just let things. . . Let things _happen. . ._

_This is the pregnancy talking._

"I don't care."

:oOo:

Castiel fixed the water heater in five minutes. That was _without _using his mojo. Dean was impressed, to say the least. Castiel was strong _and _smart. He'd never had any particular use for a water heater yet he knew just how to fix it.

The first few days in the new house, Dean spent cleaning. The first day they'd cleaned the main rooms; Kitchen, living room, bedroom etc., However the dust and webs were so thick everywhere else that he truly believed nobody had set foot in that house for at least 20 years. Without the help of mojo, Cas and Dean were so busy that they practically lived and breathed cleaning. The house was a lot bigger than it looked.

It was the only way Dean could think of to pass the time. Already he could tell that if they didn't clean and do repairs on the house, he'd be infinitely bored. The one thing about being a hunter is that you always had a job to do. One would think that the opportunity for some free time would be nice, but Dean was so used to living and breathing 'The Job' that when it was taken away, he didn't know what to do with himself.

One thing that might have helped considerably would be a TV or computer or _something_ to pass the time.

"Absolutely not,"

"Aw come on man. I don't have _anything_. I even had to leave my phone. Unlike you, I need something to occupy my mind other than my thoughts. People go crazy from boredom!"

"Electronics are expensive and we're already using enough money that isn't ours on basic necessities," Dean groaned in irritation.

"Yes but see, I _need _something to do. I literally can't live not having anything to entertain me, so that counts as a necessity," Castiel looked at him skeptically.

"You want to buy a laptop,"

"Yes, because it's not just entertainment! It's for research too, ya know? Right now we could be tracking that Dickface leviathan or seeing what other hunters are doing—Something useful, right?"

"I suppose it could provide certain benefits."

"So that's a yes?!" Cas thought for a moment before looking back at Dean, still apprehensive.

"Yes, we can buy a laptop," Dean spun around and clapped his hands together, immediately regretting it when he suddenly fell very dizzy. He gripped the sofa for balance. Cas steadied him with his hands, looking concerned. "Dean are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah just a bit dizzy for some reason. Must have overdid it with the cleaning or something," He laughed, but really he was worried. His body was definitely out of sorts recently. Sometimes just standing up too fast made him dizzy.

And then there was the incessant peeing.

It seemed like no matter what he drank, every fifteen minutes found him in the bathroom. Dean had never pissed so much in his life.

Dean stood up straight, stretching his muscles and hearing various pops and cracks. He shouldn't have been this stiff from a couple days of cleaning. Something was definitely off.

_Because you're pregnant._

"Shut up. . ."

"What?" Cas asked, looking confused. Dean shook his head.

"It's nothing. Look, I'm gonna go lay down for a bit. I think we did enough cleaning for the day," Dean was about to leave when Cas caught him by the hand. Before he knew it, he felt Cas's soft lips come in contact with his. Immediately, Deans heart started racing and his face burst into flames. It must have been only a couple seconds but it felt like an eternity. Cas pulled away gently and looked him in the eyes.

"Please feel better," Dean nodded, feeling his face burn hot like the sun.

"O-Okay," He turned on his heel and quickly left the room, shutting the bedroom door behind him. He breathed in deeply, his heart thumping a mile a minute. This 'kissing' thing was becoming a regular occurrence, yet somehow Dean was still caught off-guard every time it happened. He still blushed and stuttered like some fifteen year old girl.

They weren't like. . . _perverted_ kisses. They were what Dean had deemed to be 'love kisses'. Cas did it whenever they were to be apart for a while, he did it when Dean wasn't feeling well, he did it in the morning when they woke up, he did it before they were going to sleep. . . Even when he knew when to expect one, every kiss caught him off-guard and he was left speechless. Sex didn't follow kisses like those and it was unnerving to Dean.

In fact, they hadn't had sex since that morning a few days ago, but Cas still gave him those chaste kisses that were more scary than casually having sex with a man. That was just it. Sex was sex. Even if it was with a man, Dean could justify it as a need rather than a want. It was just those kisses were completely unnecessary and completely intimate and Dean still wasn't used to doing that kind of thing with someone, especially a man. Especially when he knew that man was in love with him.

The scary thing was; He liked it.

He was starting to crave those fucking kisses like they were the air that filled his lungs. As much as Cas seemed to like doing it, Dean probably liked it more. Every kiss sent chills up his spine and caused his heart to swell with some unnamed emotion. He felt wanted and needed. He felt loved and Dean didn't realize until recently just how much he needed that.

Again, Dean wondered if it was really okay to get comfortable like this. To get comfortable being loved. He wondered if he was letting himself fall into some false sense of security as he did when he was with Lisa. To believe he could live a normal life was childish now. Even now he knew that this wasn't normal. A male hunter pregnant with an angel's baby was decidedly _not _normal. He knew he was at the top of the list on Heaven's most wanted.

He knew damn well that they were in for a fight. When or what that fight would be, Dean didn't know. He really didn't want to know right now either. He didn't want to think about the pregnancy thing either. He just wanted to enjoy the peace. He wanted to kind of enjoy the time he could spend away with Cas. . .

It seemed his inner voice had something to say about that.

_And what do you think just might 'happen' with Castiel? Do you think you can have a _family _with him? Do you think you'll just live happily ever after? Have you forgotten that you're a _hunter _Dean, and that you hunt things like what's in your belly right now?_

_Have you forgotten that you don't deserve happiness? You don't get to be selfish because you are tainted. You've been marked by hell and you always will be. _

Dean felt his stomach drop because of course he knew that.

How could he forget?

:oOo:

Cas didn't turn in until later that night and when he did, Dean was already sleeping. Dean awoke in the middle of the night with a fresh wave of vomiting (he refused to term it 'morning sickness' since it was what pregnant people called it, not to mention it happened at all times of the day, not just the morning). He did his best not to wake Cas, but the angel heard anyways and came to help him. Dean supposed this was a good idea since this time around, his body was so weak from the heaving that he couldn't even stand up straight.

Dean hastily brushed his teeth after the spell (he absolutely could _not _stand his mouth in that state), and Cas helped him to the bed.

"We can see if there is any remedy for this when we go to the store tomorrow." Dean nodded, reluctant to look for anything concerning pregnancies, but he really needed to do something about this. Cas could only do so much.

"Hey um. . . Thanks," Dean said, watching as Cas slid into the bedside next to him.

"For what?" Cas asked, looking genuinely confused. Dean looked away, feeling embarrassed.

"You know. . . Being there and helping me when I'm like that. I've been kind of a pain."

"You haven't been 'a pain', Dean. It makes me happy to be able to help you in any way I can." Dean smiled, looking at Cas. He seemed completely genuine in saying that and Dean didn't know why that made him so happy.

"So you really l-like me then? Like I mean. . ."

"Love. I _love _you." Cas said, firmly. Dean blushed, laughing nervously.

"Y-Yeah. . . Love," He took a deep breath. Gazing deeply into the darkness, Dean's heart was fill with joy and contentment and even though he knew it wouldn't last, nothing good in his life ever lasted, he was so happy hearing Cas say that. He couldn't let this, whatever this was, slip away without him holding on as tightly to it as he could.

Things like this didn't just come around every day. Dean knew that better than anyone.

"You're not so bad. . . To hang around, you know?" He said. He couldn't say those three words he knew Cas wanted him to say, but he could tell him that much.

"Do you mean that?" Cas looked genuinely confused.

"Of course,"

"Dean until I met you I've never needed to be wanted and I've _never _cared about anybody's opinion of me. I'm an angel so I'm not supposed to feel that. But with you, I find myself constantly wanting your approval. . . I wanted you to like me. I fell in love with you but. . . I never imagined this would happen, that you would accept my feelings." Dean cocked an eyebrow in question at Cas.

"What is that? You're a great guy, why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're heterosexual," Dean twitched, taking fistfuls of Cas's hair and steeling himself for what he was about to say.

"Look. . . Straight guys don't sleep with other men. . . I-I'm bisexual at best, Cas,"

"Really? What makes you say that? You've always liked women, Dean," Dean bit his lip, wanting the Earth to swallow him whole.

"Yeah but that was before I. . . Look I. . . I _like _having sex with you, Cas. I-It's more fun with you. Look you were right, okay? I like y-your. . . your—"

"—Phallus," The angel provided. Dean burst into laughter, doubling over, grabbing onto the angel's shoulder for support. It took him a moment to regroup himself. Cas was looking like he honestly had no idea what was so funny. Dean patted his shoulder.

"Ah shit. . . Yeah, I like your phallus. Jesus Christ. . ." Dean kept snickering while Cas just watched him, curiously cocking his head to the side doing the cute puppy thing he was so good at. This is exactly what Dean enjoyed most about Cas. Cute and oblivious, always managing to make awkward moments funny.

"I don't know why, but hearing you say that is very arousing to me. . ." Cas said. Dean smirked. Scooting closer so that Cas was positioned between his legs.

"Really, now?"

"Yes, the words seem to have that kind of effect on me," Dean was sure Cas's words were having the same effect on him. He didn't know why, but the more Cas spoke like that, the hotter it was to Dean. The hunter pressed closer so that their groins were flush and he could feel just how aroused Cas was getting.

"What effect exactly is it having on you?" Dean asked, pretending he didn't have any idea. Cas shifted, his hard cock rubbing deliciously against Dean.

"I am imagining you very sinfully. . ." Dean ground himself against the angel, arm slung over his shoulder and pulling him closer.

"Well. . . Maybe you should show me what you're imagining so I can tell you if it's sinful or not," Cas smirked and pushed Dean back on the bed, crawling on top of him.

They met in a hot kiss, wasting no time and getting right to the tongue action, which Dean didn't mind in the least. It'd been a while since Dean had one of _these _kisses. He sighed against the angel's mouth as he was pressed into the bed, twining his fingers in Cas's dark tresses. Cas wrapped their tongues together and he just sucked Dean's tongue into his mouth. The hunter moaned deeply in his throat, his body lighting on fire.

God help him, he was so gay for Cas.

Dean could feel Cas's hard cock rubbing hard against his through their boxers. It was turning him on so much. He didn't realize just how much he'd been craving this.

But then, everything stopped.

Cas was frozen above him, looking like he was struggling.

Dean pulled away and looked at Cas, panting from just how hot he had gotten so quickly, and irritated by just how quickly it stopped.

"What's up Cas. . ? Thought we'd come to an understanding. . ."

"We can't have sex, Dean."

"Yes, but—Wait what? " Dean looked up at Cas confused. Did he just hear Cas turn down sex with Dean? "Why?!" Cas looked away, troubled.

"My Grace is uncontrollable when I have an orgasm. I blew out every light in the house the last time we had sex. I fixed them but still, if I keep doing that, we are bound to be discovered,"

"Well shit. I just start getting into dude sex and suddenly I can't do it anymore?"

"Dean, this is very serious. I don't know what else to do. For all I know we could be facing an attack at any moment. We need to be more discreet," Dean sighed, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.

"Well I guess there's nothing we can do about that. . . I mean unless there was a way for you to work on controlling it?"

"It would take time. Sex is new for me so the nuances in relation to my Grace are new as well. I'll need to, as you say, work out the kinks." Dean blushed.

"Well. . . I mean I can help you, you know."

"Maybe, but for now we'll just play it safe, okay? I'm sorry Dean. I know how much you like having me inside of you." Cas looked genuinely remorseful about this. Dean sputtered indignantly, blushing five shades of red.

"I d-don't particularly! God, it-it's not like I can't. . . you know live without it." There was no way he'd admit to kind of sort of starting to like it. . . Cas only smiled, brushing his thumb along Dean's cheek and looking at the man in wonder before leaning in and kissing him softly. It was just the slightest press of lips, but it made the hunter's breath catch in his throat and his heart beat wildly like he'd just run a marathon. After a few seconds, Dean pulled back, afraid that if he didn't they'd just kiss forever. Cas didn't seem in a hurry to end it. Their eyes connected and it was hard to break the gaze. Dean felt exposed, still not used to having somebody study him so closely. Even though Cas had healed all his scars, he wondered if the angel could still see every one as clear as day.

As he studied that perfect face, before him, only one word came to Dean's mind to describe it:

Happiness.

Cas was so happy.

_Kiss me every minute of the day, if it means I can see this expression on your face. . ._

Was Cas happy being here with Dean? Was he happy to be close like this? Could he be happy about the b-baby? But there were still so many things to worry about. There was the leviathans. There was God.

_Sam_.

Dean felt the haze of arousal vanish into thin air, the adrenalin upon remembering his brother's existence surging through his veins instead. Would Sam be looking for them? Would he be angry? Would he find them?

"What do you think Sam is doing?" He asked, a little more desperately than necessary.

"I can't find him with my Grace, Dean. Even if it wasn't dangerous to try, his location is hidden from me,"

"Well isn't that just great. . ."

"He won't find us. Even if he was on our tail, God and the archangels would protect us. This pregnancy is just as important to them as it is to us," Cas's lips tightened. "If he managed to find us and tried to. . . I know he's your brother but I wouldn't be able to allow him to touch you" Cas said, his voice more dangerous and sexy than ever. Dean shivered, feeling tingles travel all the way to his groin and he bit his lip. His hand subconsciously found his stomach and he was a bit surprised at the tiny swell he could feel. Either he'd eaten _way _too much pie, or something was seriously happening down there.

"I'm fat," Cas looked down to Dean's hand and smiled, covering it with his own, looking deeply into his dark green eyes.

"You're gorgeous,"

::

"There is literally no trace of them. It's like they've completely fallen off the grid!" Sam threw up his hands feeling completely defeated. When Dean wanted to be missing he didn't screw around. . ."

"Did you try tracking his cell phone?" Lucifer said, sitting next to Sam. Sam ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, found it in a freakin' dumpster outside a diner, along with Castiel's."

"Well let's just stick to the facts. They're together, obviously. Dean is keeping the baby. Castiel is obviously using Grace to allow them to remain hidden. If you had access to the Grace network, you could track his Grace." Sam looked at Lucifer disbelievingly.

"Yeah, and where am going to get my own angel WIFI hotspot?"

"You can use mine. I used to be an archangel. I still have my own gateway," Lucifer said, as though talking about the weather. Sam shook his head.

"You're my subconscious, how would that work?" Lucifer smirked.

"It's a process, not an ability. You just need to perform the Enochian ritual,"

"There's a ritual to see the Grace network?"

"There's a ritual for everything Sammy. I just happened to be the oldest angel, God's light and all, so I know all of them,"

"But you're my subconscious, so how would you know?" Lucifer grinned.

"I've been in your head. Of course I hid a few things in there for later," Sam sighed, completely sure that this was a bad idea. But if it was just in his head, then he already had the knowledge. It wasn't actually _Lucifer_ providing it. It was just a resource now.

_A hidden resource. . ._

"Well then, let's get started."

:oOo:

A/N: Sam no. . . Sam, stahp!

End of what I'm secondarily titling 'The Sex chapter'. There will be little sex for the next couple chapters simply because it's part of the plot. . . Yes my plot revolves around sex, oh fucking kay? Like seriously, the progression of the story is completely compliant on sexual, gestational and emotional milestones. . . I don't know what kind of person that makes me. . .


	10. Seduction: A Memoir by Dean Winchester

**Chapter 10: Seduction: A Memoir by Dean Winchester Part 1 of 2**

**a/n: **Hi I'm back so much faster this time XD Thanks for all of your comments/support for this story. I really love it so I'm glad I can share it with you guys. This chapter has a lot of POV changes, so I hope it doesn't get too confusing. Sam's just a busy little bee, ain't he?

**Chapter warnings:** language, violence and deathhhh

* * *

><p>Sam Winchester sat at the table grinding hawthorn bark with the skull of a beaver into a bowl made of acacia wood. It took some real string pulling and an expensive expedited shipment from ebay, but he gathered all the items relatively quickly. "Ok we have this crap, now what do I do? Burn it or something?"<p>

"Well you need the blood of an angel, actually. . ." Sam shook his head, thinking perhaps he didn't hear correctly.

"The _what_?"

"Well you need to draw an Enochian sigil in that blood. It's the only way." Sam rolled his eyes. Leave it to Lucifer to leave out the most important detail.

"Dude, you could have told me that sooner!" Lucifer threw up his hands in surrender, sitting across from Sam at the table.

"Well I didn't want you to get all discouraged! Look you're already halfway there. You just need to put your pretty-boy hands together and call down one of my marshmallow brothers and all will be well." Sam rolled his eyes, putting down the beaver skull.

"You honestly think they'll just let me _have _some of their blood? For some reason I doubt Heaven will be too happy with me performing an Enochian ritual suggested by _Satan_ to find my brothe.r" Sam inquired in disbelief. Lucifer looked thoughtfully before raising a finger excitedly.

"Well think of it this way. . . Maybe they'll just _tell _you where Dean is? If they do that, maybe you don't even have to do the ritual. Everybody wins!"

"Castiel is hiding my brother and he's from Heaven, what makes you think they're not all suspicious of me?"

"Well you're still alive. Castiel knows where you're at so he would have told them by now. I don't think Castiel is necessarily working with the angels, or you would have been taken care of a long time ago."

"But he's with my brother. Castiel knows what would happen if he let Heaven kill me." Lucifer raised his brow, conceding Sam's point.

"No sex for a week." Sam involuntarily shivered, trying to delete the images. He was only just coming to terms with the fact that his brother was gay and most definitely the one taking it up the ass from an angel of the fucking _Lord. _

"It's too soon to joke about my brother's big gay sex life, okay? I'm already scarred enough as it is." The devil before him rolled his eyes.

"_Anyways,_ you can always _try. _If things don't go well, there will probably be a fight and you can easily get yourself some blood. Angels are easily trapped, you know." Sam looked at Lucifer skeptically. Again he thought about his decision to go along with this plan. If he had to spill an angel's blood, perhaps this whole deal was a little more dark than he first thought. What if this whole thing had consequences otherworldly and Sam was just walking into a big trap?

Well, it wasn't like they never killed angels. They were still around so just drawing some blood couldn't do _that _much harm.

"What do I need to do?"

* * *

><p>Dean was going crazy.<p>

True to his word, Castiel was adamantly keeping his hands off the hunter like a good little angel scout. Dean was still kissed at night before they slept and again when he woke up in the morning, but that was the end of it. Castiel didn't even _look_ at him very long anymore. The next few days, Dean was slowly being driven mad. It was like having a pile of cookies and being told not to eat any.

"We're short on supplies. Are we going to make a trip to the town?" Castiel wondered aloud, helping Dean make breakfast. Castiel wouldn't eat any, but the angel actually really liked cooking. Dean thought it was cute as he flipped quesadillas on the stove. He was damn good at it by now. All Dean ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner were quesadillas and pickle juice. Literally.

Castiel actually looked really hot flipping quesadillas. Dean licked his lips, thinking those angelic hands would look better gripping something entirely different_._

"Dean?" Cas looked back and Dean jumped, scrambling to retrieve the words that were spoken to him.

"Right. Supplies. Yes." Cas raised a brow curiously at Dean before turning his attention back to the frying pan. It was crazy what a transformation was made with a simple grey wife beater and black boxers—He insisted that Cas wear less clothes around the house since it made _him _uncomfortable just looking at him. Dean was being made uncomfortable for entirely different reasons now.

He wondered if Castiel knew what he was doing to Dean. He probably did, but the bastard was doing a great job ignoring him. It was cruel. Dean had definitely been warming up to butt-sex as it were. The thought of doing it actually turned him on as he remembered the way Cas was always so passionate about it. He actually really craved being dominated like that now, and putting a dick up his ass was definitely not as scary as it used to be. Cas never hurt him and it felt so damn good. . . It was all Dean could do not to moan as he imagined Castiel bending him over that table right then, pinning him down and stuffing his ass full of cock. . . He was so hot for it lately and Cas just _wasn't _and It frustrated Dean endlessly because the hunter still had that iron-clad pride that kept him from admitting his attraction to Castiel.

After breakfast, and a decidedly cold shower for Dean, they made their way into town, stopping at the local tech store to search for a suitable laptop. Dean had _thought_ he hadn't needed anything fancy, but he realized quickly that he did since there were so many fun games he could play that required fancier computers.

Dean finally chose, Cas scowling disapprovingly at his expensive choice, and they paid for the system and a few games and left. When they went to the supermarket to get the rest of their supplies, Castiel tugged Dean into another part of the store which had books and magazines.

"Easing morning sickness." Castiel began after flipping through an entire book for about 3 seconds. "The book says that you should never have an empty stomach and to eat easy to digest foods low in acid. We should probably avoid hot sauce on your quesadillas."

"But I love hot sauce!" Dean complained. They didn't taste good without it. Castiel looked at him sternly and shut the book.

"You should also be taking prenatal vitamins. You could start losing bone density from calcium defects." Dean rolled his eyes.

"The problem is they don't make prenatal vitamins for men, Cas. I don't know if you're aware, but men are built a bit differently than women. Also baby angels are different than human babies, I'm sure."

"I _am_ aware, Dean, but we have to do something. I hate seeing you suffer." Dean felt shivers up and down his spine at the look that Castiel was giving him, his eyes so full of concern and fucking _love. _Dean let out a shaky breath he didn't know he'd been holding and nodded, not even able to speak anymore. He took the book from Cas's hands, _too_ aware of how their fingers brushed by the action, and tucked the book into the cart. He swallowed and steered the cart around, hoping his body would tell him where he was supposed to be going because God knew he couldn't think straight right now.

Castiel was in love with Dean. Dean couldn't even deny it anymore. Every decision Cas made was in favor of Dean's well-being. The angel was also the father of the child growing inside Dean right now. He was only ever concerned with making sure Dean was comfortable and the baby was safe. He was a protector and he did a damn good job of it. Dean bit his lip, suddenly feeling like the luckiest guy in the mid-west. This whole pregnancy, while it was inconvenient, unnatural and officially the weirdest shit ever, was starting to become less and less scary as Dean saw how Castiel handled the whole thing.

Dean had been mortified at first but it was quickly becoming clear that Castiel was going to be there for him no matter what. Dean didn't have to do it alone and that was what made it not so bad. It actually made it kind of okay. Dean was kind of okay with this as long as Castiel remained with him. Dean stole a glance at the angel behind him who seemed preoccupied with looking at everything around them. Probably looking for, you know, things they needed. Dean hoped Cas'd be able to remember it all (who was he kidding, of _course _Cas could remember it all), because Dean couldn't even remember his shoe size at that moment. All he could imagine was Cas pushing him up against one of the racks and kissing him senseless.

* * *

><p>The town was small but it was nicely packed with necessary stores seeing as it was the only town for literally <em>miles<em>. There was a movie theater, an activity center and there was even a dog groomer. Seemed that this place had everything sorted out and Dean commended the people for staying under the McDonald's radar, as the corporation tended to find even the most secluded of towns.

Along the main road, Dean noticed several little diners and various pubs. Small towns always had the best bars. Dean wondered if he could talk Cas into visiting the town again soon and check out the local watering holes with him. God knew they needed some time out. Cas was great, really, but Dean was going just a wee bit stir crazy. He was beginning to crave supply runs because at least then he could interact with other people.

When they got home, Castiel was in the kitchen putting everything away and Dean went to the bedroom to set up the new laptop, not able to wait any longer.

The computer was, Dean decided quickly, awesome with a hint of epic. Games ran smooth like water and, with a tiny bit of Grace thanks to Cas, Dean was hooked up to the town internet service in less than a minute.

The sun was shining brightly outside, making Castiel's beautiful blue eyes shimmer and his skin glow attractively. Dean felt his belly fill with those persistent butterflies again. They had a little time and Dean couldn't think of a better moment to mess around but Cas seemed entirely not into it. Castiel's eyes seemed to avoid looking at Dean at all costs and that left disappointment like a cold brick in the bottom of his stomach. He was frustratingly lacking in his ability to communicate his need with Cas and the moment came and went like an unwanted sun-shower.

After Castiel went back out to the kitchen, hastily declaring that he needed to redraw the wards before dinner, Dean browsed the net, trying to stop thinking of the lackluster exchange. Castiel had told Dean before that he was in love with him. They had sex—Castiel must have _liked _fucking Dean if the ache he left in Dean's ass every time was any indication of that. Dean squashed down the persistent feeling of rejection in his heart. He knew that Cas said they shouldn't have sex for risk of being discovered, but shouldn't Cas at least _look _like he wanted to jump Dean's bones? It seemed like it wouldn't be a big deal for the angel at all if they never touched each other again. Dean knew angel's worked differently than humans, but it was still disappointing that he was apparently the only one struggling with this.

It'd been a long while since he'd been online so he was satisfied to just mess around, but it was when he saw a particularly racy advertisement that his forced state of chastity was brought back to the forefront of his mind. Surely Busty Asian Beauties had some new videos for him to check out (he was a subscriber). He browsed the site for the newest vids, picking one that featured Li Zhu Ying and Lau Lau Min.

As he watched the girls get into each other he realized he wasn't getting as turned on as he thought he would. He was only half-hard after a half an hour of this and at this rate he wouldn't finish before dinner was ready. Yeah they were hot, and Lau sure knew some creative ways to use her tongue, but Dean couldn't stop thinking about Castiel and the sudden disappearance of his libido.

Perhaps Dean was still too reluctant? Did Cas think he didn't want it? That was entirely likely. Perhaps Cas was playing it cool because Dean was still reluctant about butt-sex with dudes. That must have been it. Dean never initiated sexual contact if he could help it. Cas usually started it and Dean went along with it, but maybe now he would have to bury his pride and take the first step.

His eye caught a bright colored ad that read "10 ways to seduce your man." Dean snorted disdainfully as his mouse hovered over the link. Well it wasn't like he _knew_ how to seduce a guy. He'd considered himself straight for many years until recently. He was still not used to the whole 'gay' thing. Dean bit his lip, trying to ignore the implied 'Cas is my man' feeling he got when he clicked the link. He was brought to a very pink page that had women doing various things to their boyfriends and Dean was about to click away because he was absolutely _not _a girl, thank you very much, but the first tip caught his attention.

_1. Show him visually you want it._ It stated, simply. _Men love to know that they're wanted. Kiss him more than usual, tell him you're bored and that you want to do something fun (be suggestive). _

Well that seemed pretty legit. It didn't seem too difficult either. He still felt uncomfortable reading a column obviously aimed at women, but he didn't see what the harm would be in giving the first suggestion a try. He shut the laptop and exited the room to see if Castiel needed any help in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Sam was on his knees in front of the rug by the motel bed, feeling completely ridiculous. Lucifer had suggested praying to Israfel, since he was usually one of the most neutral of angels. He was an artisan and one of the many architects of Heaven. He was an older angel and would be most likely to be neutral concerning Sam's issues He bowed his head as he prayed.<p>

"Israfel, hear my prayer. This is Sam Winchester and I need your assistance." There was a displacement of wind and a ruffling of feathers and Sam turned around, not expecting to be answered so quickly. A man in his early thirties was standing before him, his tired blue eyes far-seeing and unnaturally aged. This was definitely the familiar gaze of an angel.

"Samuel Winchester, you prayed to me. I've heard so much about you." His eyes were sad for a moment before he stared hard at the Winchester once again. Chills ran up Sam's back and, for a moment, Sam wondered what exactly Israfel was looking at. "What is it that you require of me?"

"I need to find my brother. Will you help me?"

"By brother, I'm assuming you mean Dean Winchester? Adam Winchester is currently in Hell." Sam narrowed his eyes, trying not to let his guilt about _that _rise to the surface.

"Yes, Dean." The angel turned and started to observe various items in the hotel; the television, the lamps. He supposed Israfel never had any reason to visit Earth. Sam decided to wait patiently. It would probably more difficult if Sam rushed him.

"I've heard rumors about _Dean_."

"There's a gossip mill in Heaven?"

"We don't have mills in Heaven, Sam, but there is a fair amount of gossip." Angels would never get these things, would they? The angel continued to talk. "I am old, Sam. I've been around almost as long as Michael, building and destroying and re-building Heaven to make it what it is today. I have seen angels destroy each other, heal each other, love each other and hate each other. I have no reason to choose sides when it comes to matters of war and secrecy. To me, these things are trivial, and the climate will shift in due time and it won't matter anyway. The conflict changes like seasons, each one more pointless than the last. Unlike the new angels, I have met God. I have experienced our Father's will. Our father's will is what all angel's crave, so if they don't have that, they try to create it. Why do you think there are so many denominations?"

"I've honestly never thought about that." Sam responded, taking a moment to ponder.

"This is boring, Sam." Lucifer drawled, impatiently.

"It's because each angel who has never met God has a different idea of the will of God based off of snippets of what their older brothers have told them. They write it down and try to pass it off as the "Word of God". In reality it's so much simpler than that. What's happening to your brother is either viewed in Heaven as a blessing or an abomination. There are two sides to this war, and the angels have decided they need to choose one or the other."

"Then what is it? The thing with my brother? Is it good or bad?"

"Are you honestly just going to sit there chit chatting?" Lucifer inquired, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Sam shook his head, ignoring him.

"God's will in this matter is not of my knowledge, but I know that he's intentionally created this conflict. I believe that the reason he did it is one more lesson for the angels of Heaven somehow. It is a gift for your brother and Castiel. God has created this war, that much I know. I know that God has always wanted his angels to become like the humans, so perhaps this is Him bridging the gap. I believe that, in any case, this matter is not for me to involve myself in. I don't know what you are asking of me, Sam, but I will have no part in this war." Lucifer tapped his invisible watch.

"You don't even have to. Just tell me where my brother is."

"I cannot. He is hidden from me, and even if I could tell you, I wouldn't. That angel on your shoulder is not smiling, and I fear the darkness in your heart that grows because of its presence." Darkness crossed the face of Israfel for a moment as he looked at Sam.

"This isn't really Lucifer, it's my head." Sam explained.

"Whatever he is, you're walking his path. That is the path of greed, selfishness and ultimately loneliness. Your brother left because you both have a tendency to claim to know what's right and wrong. He didn't want you to make that decision for this child. Lucifer has already convinced you to try to use me. What else can he convince you to do?" Sam grit his teeth.

"This is my _choice_. Lucifer has no say in the matter."

"I bid you then, try to refuse him next time he tells you to do something." Sam rolled his eyes, but at the same time, it made him wonder. He looked at Lucifer curiously for a moment, the fallen angel in his mind staring back at him in interest. Sam wondered when he'd started following his suggestions so blindly. He knew it was just his subconscious, but a lot of these things that he was doing were questionable at best. He turned his attention back to Israfel.

"I know I shouldn't just be doing what Lucifer says, but nothing else is working at this point. I don't want to harm Dean or his baby. I'm just worried about him." Sam sighed, sitting on the bed and running his fingers through his long hair. It was at that moment that Sam deeply wished he hadn't created such a rift in his relationship with Dean. Dean always _said _that he trusted him, but it was clear now that that had been a lie. Sam was running out of options. He hated being alone. He was absolutely nothing without Dean. He needed to at least _talk _to the older Winchester. He had to see where Dean stood. "I just need to make sure he's okay. If you won't tell me, then I'll have to do it myself." Sam lit a match and tossed it in front of Israfel, creating a holy fire circle around him. The angel made no motion of surprise, He only looked sadly at Sam.

"I will pray for you, Samuel Winchester." Suddenly Sam found himself being hurtled against the wall by a fucking _bulldozer_.

Wait no, Sam realized upon further inspection; It was a pissed off looking angel. Two more angels had entered the picture. He couldn't get a good look at them though, because before he knew it, there was an iron-like grip to his neck and he was staring into the angered face of a woman with long blonde hair and grey eyes.

"Samuel Winchester you are detested by both sides of Heaven. I am Judiel. I strive to bear witness to the birth of the Chosen. You are a threat and if you can't be reasoned with, the only other option is elimination." 'Judiel' froze, her voice caught in her throat. She looked down to where a silver angel blade had impaled her in the stomach, bright white light leaking out from the hole. Sam pulled back the blade quickly, killing the other angel who'd attacked him in retaliation. The angels' eyes burned white and the beings were decimated from their lifeless vessels, leaving giant, wing-shaped scorch marks burned into the room. Sam's face was hard and cold as he looked down at the lifeless forms on the floor of the motel.

"I can't let _anybody _get in my way." Sam looked up at Israfel, the hurt and pain enveloping his heart and numbing him from the acts of brutality he just committed. The angel looked deeply sad. "I'm sorry about your brother and sister, but I have a ritual to perform."

* * *

><p>When Dean entered the kitchen later that day, surely enough, Castiel was dutifully making quesadillas. Dean felt that pesky fluttering in his stomach again because, God, this angel was just so <em>perfect<em>. Castiel didn't even ask anymore, he just. . . _Did_. That was nice. More than nice. Dean moved to the counter seeing a bag he didn't notice before. It had the word "Bakery" printed on it. It was from the bakery from the grocery store they were at that day.

Dean dug into the bag and almost squealed in delight when he noticed a giant pumpkin pie sitting inside.

"You got me _pie_?!" Dean exclaimed excitedly. Cas looked up, his face alight with obvious pride.

"I was thinking that it'd been a long time since you've seen a suitable pie. I thought perhaps it might cheer you up a bit with the denial of hot sauce on quesadillas." A giant grin split Deans face and he pulled Castiel in for a tight hug. Cas pulled back and they were a mere inch from each other's faces. "I hope you don't mind pumpkin."

"Pie is pie, Cas. I don't discriminate." Dean felt his face heat up realizing that Cas had been thinking about him and God, that was the fucking sweetest shit in the history of his life. He could literally kiss Castiel right now—_Actually_. . . Dean's eyes shifted to those soft, pink lips and he licked his lips on instinct. He didn't remember ever initiating a kiss with Castiel, but perhaps it was time to do so. He gathered all his nerve before pressing a soft kiss to his lips—A chaste thing that lingered just a few seconds longer than was absolutely necessary, remembering that the site said to 'make his interest known'. Cas stiffened in surprise before sighing contently, his hands moving to the Winchester's hips, tightening just a bit. Mmm It was nice, feeling those possessive fingers on his body again. Castiel's lips were so soft and pliant and fit perfectly against Deans and he didn't want it to end, but he had to because he was seducing Cas. He couldn't just let Cas have his desert before dinner. No Castiel had to show him that he wanted it. Dean pulled away only a millimeter, looking heatedly into Castiel's eyes. "Thank you." He breathed against the angels sweet lips.

Castiel was frozen and quickly turning an attractive shade of pink and Dean grinned, not minding having that kind of effect on the angel. He wondered if maybe it worked and Cas's mind was quickly filling with lecherous thoughts like Dean's was. They hadn't done anything remotely sexual in days now. Surely there would be a little pent up frustration in that too tightly wound body of Castiel's. Dean had been about to lean in for another, much hotter kiss, pressing their bodies flush against each other, when Castiel stuttered something about quesadillas and burning and turned around to tend to them, shooting down Dean's hopes that Castiel was in the mood for a little hanky panky. Dean's eyebrows knitted together and he fought internally to squash his disappointment. Well Cas _had _beenin the middle of cooking.

Dean stepped back and shook the failed exchange from his head, instead focusing on the lovely pie on the counter. He hadn't had a good pumpkin in ages. He was almost salivating at the thought and he wasted no time cutting himself a generous piece. Time to bury his stormy emotions in food!

Sitting down at the table, he cut a bite with his fork and put it into his mouth, only to suddenly spit it out again. Something was wrong on so many levels.

"Is the pie not satisfactory?" Castiel asked, his eyebrows shooting up to his brow. Dean blinked, smelling the pie, sure that it _smelled _like pumpkin. His tongue, however, disagreed. Dean cut a bite and shoved it into Castiel's face. The angel awkwardly took the bite and chewed, a look of confusion on his face.

"It tastes like spearmint!" Dean exclaimed.

"I don't detect any spearmint in this by taste. To me it tastes like what a typical pumpkin pie would taste like. I remember because you made me try five different kinds of pie back in Minnesota." Dean put another bite of the pie in his mouth and shook his head, spitting it into the napkin. Nope. Definitely not pie. Castiel drew his brows together worriedly.

"The book we bought stated that your taste buds might work a little differently while you're pregnant. Perhaps you're not tasting it the same as me." Dean gaped at him.

"You're saying that, because of this," He pointed to his belly. "Pie tastes disgusting?"

"It's entirely possible." Dean shook his head, pushing the plate away.

"Great. Just great. When I finally do get some decent pie, it tastes like mouthwash!"

_2. Eye contact! The eyes are windows to the soul and he will see that fire burning in yours if you allow him to just take a look._

"All in all this town is pretty quiet. There hasn't been any strange occurrences in going on ten, um, ten years." Cas turned away from the laptop only to have Dean's face directly in front of his _again_. Castiel narrowed his eyes and moved his head, Dean following his movement instantly and never breaking eye contact. "Dean is there something on my face?" Dean sighed and looked away. Obviously this one was a dud. Leave it to Cas to be completely oblivious.

_3. Talk suggestively. There's nothing like a little love language to spice up any conversation._

"How are you feeling today?" Castiel asked the next day. Dean was assuming he was talking about his pregnancy or something, but he decided to ignore that bit and go for something just a little more interesting.

"Pretty bad, actually." A worried frown appeared on Cas's brow and he pressed his hand to the hunter's forehead.

"Are you ill? Are you feeling really nauseas?" Ok. Here came the good stuff.

"More hungry actually, but not for _food_." Dean smirked, stepping closer into Castiel's personal space and playing with the lapels of Castiel's coat. Cas looked confused.

"This pregnancy business it more complex than I thought. I read that pregnant women sometimes crave dirt. And before you yell at me, I'm not calling you a woman. Would you like me to get you some dirt, Dean?" Dean rolled his eyes and pushed Castiel away. Freakin' clueless angels.

"No I don't want _dirt, _Cas. Jesus." Dean threw up his hands in defeat and stomped back to the bedroom.

_4. Touch is of utmost importance_

_Initiating Skin to skin, or any physical contact at all is important and it should be executed frequently and relentlessly. The constant touches will light him on fire and he'll end up craving more and more of it. Sometimes the slightest brush of an arm is enough to ignite those sparks!_

Castiel was on the computer in the living room, becoming updated on recent local news to make sure they weren't in any danger (from _other _jerks). Dean bit his lip, not 100 percent sure about how this was going to go down but he had to _try_. He sat down only inches away from Castiel on the loveseat, turning so that he was deliberately pressing their thighs together. Dean unfolded the magazine under his arm, gazing unseeingly at a random page. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Castiel's stony expression falter only for a millisecond before he was back to scanning his page. Dean didn't want to make it _too _obvious, so his next move was a few minutes later.

Cas was using the touchpad to scroll so his left arm was resting on his lap and Dean bit his lip. This was his chance. He started to dance his fingers along Cas's wrist, drawing invisible shapes and tickling it with his nails. Dean felt his face burn because seriously just _what _did he expect to accomplish from this? Castiel stopped what he was doing and looked at Dean's offending hand curiously.

"Is there something wrong with my wrist?" Castiel asked, honestly concerned. His brow knitted together in confusion and Dean suddenly felt mortified and pulled away as though Cas's skin was on fire.

"N-N-No! I just um. . . Oh what is that?" Dean decided to plow through and keep on because there was nothing else to lose here. He leaned over Castiel's shoulder, kneeling on the couch and looked intently at the screen as he let his hand grab gently onto Castiel's shoulder, their bodies pressed tight against each other now, the only thing separating them now, a couple layers of clothing. He swallowed, trying to banish his nervousness because there was a storm brewing in his chest now. His heart was beating wildly and Dean wondered what had possessed him to even _do _all of this. Was it even working? Dean knew that the strangeness of this behavior wouldn't escape even Castiel. Castiel was looking at him now, a very distressed expression on his face and Dean wondered if maybe he was freaking the angel out.

Dean decided to turn it up one more notch and use Cas's thigh for leverage, his hand squeezing dangerously close to Castiel's groin. The angel sucked in a breath and tensed under the hunter's hand. He decided to catch Cas's eye now and felt his heart sink at the mortified expression there. Okay he was definitely only freaking Cas out. Dean stood up, suddenly feeling very depressed.

"I-I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Sorry."

"Dean?"

_5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If all of the above didn't work, perhaps your significant other needs some time to miss you. Try making him jealous and realize the treat he's missing out on._

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Cas said warily as Dean embarked on the journey of finding a shirt that hid his modest 'baby bump'. Tonight they were going prowling and Dean was determined to attract as many lovely ladies as he possibly could. He wasn't exactly planning on hooking up with any of those women, he just needed visual confirmation that he was still a stallion. He wanted Cas to understand that he was still very much the most desirable man in the mid-west and the angel was letting this opportunity to exclusively bed Dean Winchester slip through his superhuman fingers like water. Dean was a bit apprehensive, going out there and flirting while _pregnant, _but he wasn't showing _that _much, anyways. If you looked closely, you would just think it was simply one cheeseburger too many. He still had his form. . .

. . . Didn't he?

"Cas, how noticeable is my belly? Like, do I look like a fatass that eats cheeseburgers all day?" Dean interjected, completely side-stepping Cas's concerns. Cas looked at him for a moment in a "Really?" sort of manner, but looked at his stomach critically.

"Well the only part of you that sticks out is your belly. I don't know how you maintain your figure since you really are a fatass that eats cheeseburgers all day,"

"Excuse me?!—" Dean was about to protest when he realized Cas wasn't actually the one who said that. Gabriel was sitting next to Cas, who was looking at Gabriel warningly, telling Gabriel not to borrow his voice whenever he pleased. "Oh it's _you_." Dean rolled his yes.

"You know, Dean, you could be nicer to me."

"Says the person that killed me 2348 times."

"I'm surprised your thick head could remember all of them!"

"Enough, both of you." Castiel admonished. He turned to his brother. "Why are you here, Gabriel?" Gabriel stood up, placing his hand on his chest and looking affronted.

"Can't I just visit my daddy-to-be baby brother? And his soon-to-be mommy who just completed his first trimester?!" Gabriel clapped excitedly, Dean continued to look unimpressed.

"He's just as much the father of our child as I am, Gabriel. Dean is very much male." Gabriel grinned, poking Cas's chest knowingly.

"And you would know, wouldn't you?" Cas blushed and backed away towards Dean who was still looking entirely unimpressed. But Gabriel was right about one thing: He was a third way in. that left only 2 thirds of this _t-thing_ and he really, _really _should start thinking about parenthood but it was just so difficult!

"Fine, if it will make you stop being mad at me, I'll have you know you still look like a sculpted model, Dean. Honestly if I didn't know you were pregnant I wouldn't even notice your belly." Dean let that comment boost his ego just a bit and was mortified as the thought of flirting with Gabriel to make Cas jealous entered his head before he pushed it out just as quickly.

"Well Gabriel if you had nothing else to blabber on about, me and Cas have things to do so if you'll kindly butt-out—"

"Sorry to interrupt your _date, _but Sam misses you, Dean," Dean felt his face frown instantly at the mention of his brother, that protective instinct flaring up in him like a fuckin' cold sore on lemon juice. If it was one thing Castiel and Dean were in agreement upon, it was that they didn't talk about Sam. It was too painful and Dean was perfectly happy to avoid the topic. Dean felt his face heat up at Gabriel's word choice in regards to their activities for the evening. He shook his head.

"This isn't a _date, _Gabriel, and If you're trying to make me feel guilty, I'll have you know it's not going to work. It wasn't like I had a choice in leaving."

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. But you should know that Sam is looking for you and he will do _anything_ to find you." Gabriel's tone of voice was grim in a way that gave Dean chills.

"And what does _anything _entail?" Dean inquired. He noticed Cas looking warningly at Gabriel and frowned.

"Maybe you should ask your boyfriend." Gabriel suggested. Dean looked at Cas (Damn it why did he instinctively look at Cas?), quirking an eyebrow, giving his best "Lucy you have some 'splainin to do" look. Cas didn't say anything, but at least had the decency to look sheepish. "It's time we told him, Castiel. The situation is getting worse."

"What the hell? You guys have been chatting behind my back about Sam? Did it ever cross your minds that it might be important that I know?" Gabriel sighed and cut in, not letting Castiel speak.

"The last thing you need to be is stressed out about Sam, Dean. I don't want you doing anything stupid, but as it is, I need you to take extra precaution. Sam is dangerous."

"I wouldn't have left if I didn't already know that." The humor was completely gone from Dean's voice and a collective chill ran through the room.

"I don't think you understand just how dangerous he's become. Lucifer is still very much a part of Sam, whether you want to believe it or not." Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm pretty sure I was there when we locked Lucifer away in the pit, Gabe. How can he still be controlling Sam?"

"He's locked away, yes, the parts of him that _weren't_ left inside of Sam. There's still part of my brother's consciousness inside of Sam's head. Before Lucifer was exorcised from Sam, he left a piece of himself. Something of a ghost of Lucifer resides in your brother."

"An angel ghost? Isn't that just a little redundant?" Gabriel rolled his eyes this time.

"It's not something that can be exorcised. It's an imprint, a memory. It's like a side-effect of being Lucifer's vessel. This 'ghost' is hard-wired to act in the interest of the real Lucifer. Sam's brain had been programmed to crave Lucifer's presence ever since he was crafted for the apocalypse. Lucifer wouldn't leave Sam's mind without tweaking that vulnerability a little bit. It manifests in the form of a split personality, forever looking for opportunities, making the victim eager to have Lucifer guide him—hinting, suggesting, manipulating. It's not Sam's fault per-say, but it's a hell of a disorder. Sam's mind will stop at nothing to get Lucifer out of the cage. The situation is dire and we need you guys to be extra cautious, because Sam has effectively killed any angel who has tried to deter him."

"Excuse me?" Dean's voice was tight as he processed Gabriel's words. Sam was killing angels?

"He's got Israfel trapped in holy fire and he's way too skilled with an angel blade. He's already killed Judiel and Ambriel," Gabriel said, sadly, looking at his brother. Dean noted the flash of pain in Cas's eyes at the news, and he wondered for a moment if hearing of one of his brother's demises was as painful every time as it was for Dean to watch Sam die and go to hell. Gabriel pulled his iron mask on and continued talking. "And he's geared up to perform an Enochian ritual to see the Grace network. The situation is looking grim. If you guys slip up even one millimeter, Sam will find you." Gabriel warned, a grim look on his face. Dean stepped closer, balling his fist, trying to quell the desperate feeling rising in his chest over his brother turning to the dark-side again without even realizing it.

"Well what the hell do we do? How can we get Lucifer out of my brother's head?"

"Well that's the hard part. You don't. Only a will of iron steel can ignore the call of Lucifer and your brother is decidedly lacking in that department." Dean bit his lip, a completely different set of worries making themselves present in his mind. As much as he loved Sam, he couldn't let him get anywhere near the kid in his stomach.

"What is Sam going to do if he finds me?" The hunter asked, his voice bereft and much less confident than he'd willed it to be.

"Lucifer will lay low in his mind until your baby is born. Sam will convince you that there's nothing wrong with his head, then, Lucifer will convince Sam that he needs to kill you and take the baby. He will raise it until it is strong enough to fight the angels in his quest to free Lucifer." Gabriel huffed at the blank stares he was getting. "Well don't blame me! It's not my fault our brother's such a jerk!" Dean rolled his eyes.

"So I can't see my brother and I can't help my brother. Basically Sam is doomed."

"Not really. Nothing can really happen to Sam except a really naggy Lucy in the back of his mind complaining that things aren't happening. The only problem is he will stop at _nothing_ to find you. If staking out Cas's Grace doesn't work, he will find another way. This is why I'm moving in!" Dean shook his head, crossing his arms and standing up.

'Oh no no no. I will have _none _of that. You can find a nice motel to stay at but you ain't stayin' here!" Gabriel shook his head.

"You silly, silly boy. I meant I'm moving in with Sam! I'm going to make him think I'm trying to help him, but really I'll be keeping tabs on him. I'll see if I can't convince him to give up this plan and do something more interesting. At least I'll try to break his connection with Lucifer." He made a disgusted face. "Like I want to be around you and Cassie on your honeymoon. Ew, no." Dean blinked, as though seeing Gabriel for the first time.

"Y-You'd actually do that for me?" Gabriel rolled his eyes, looking away.

"Well yeah. . . You're like family now so it's kind of my duty to protect you." Dean nodded, not entirely sure if this was a good thing or not. He never realized just how this 'thing' with Cas was affecting his relationship with Heaven. "Hey can I touch your belly?!" Gabriel asked, akin to an excited puppy.

"_Absofuckinglutely not," _Dean protested. It was in vain since Gabe pushed himself forward and pressed his hand to his belly regardless.

"Can you believe I've never touched a pregnant belly before? I've been alive for thousands of years and I've never done this!" Dean recovered from his shock and shoved Gabriel away.

"If you want to keep your prissy angel hands you won't do it again!"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't as well, brother." Cas agreed, his voice gruff with irritation. Dean smirked, now convinced that jealous Cas was his favorite Cas. Dean was still pissed at him, though!

"Your baby is maturing wonderfully," Dean paused, gaping at Gabriel. He-He could tell?

"How do you know?"

"You think I can't see how your pregnancy is progressing? Everything is developing correctly and on time. Your baby is strong and healthy. I can even tell you what gender it is if you want me to," Cas's ears almost literally perked up at that. Dean was speechless.

_Gender?! _

And once again Dean was brought back to the fact that this was really, truly, one-hundred percent, no bull-shit happening. He placed his hand on his stomach and felt lightheaded all of a sudden. Cas seemed to sense his distress and steadied him with a hand on his arm. Gabriel's eyes flicked to him in concern for what seemed like a millisecond before the cheerfulness came back full throttle. "Well I'll see you boys later. I have a Sam to convert. Let me know whether or not you want me to spoil the surprise!" In the next instant, Gabriel was gone with a flutter of wings.

Dean allowed the fog of the new information clear from his head and he turned to Castiel, irritation in his brow.

"I don't like you keeping shit from me Cas."

"Dean, I didn't want to but I had to. The information would have made you even sicker than you already were."

"I don't give a shit. At least you could have told me that you had things under control, but you didn't say a damn thing. If this is going to work, you have to communicate with me, you got it? No secrets and no sneaking around with Gabriel behind my back. Sam is _my _brother and I have every right to know all the fucked up shit he's going through, understand?" Castiel shifted uncomfortably.

"Of course, Dean. You're right. I should have told you. I'm. . . I'm really sorry." Cas looked up, his blue eyes revealing that yes, he was sorry. Dean had to strengthen his resolve because, as he was quickly discovering, he was way too susceptible to puppy eyes.

"You will tell me this kind of shit from now on, got it?"

"Yes, Dean." Dean nodded.

"Now we're going to go out tonight, and we're going to have fun. I don't care about this bullshit. Nobody's ruining my day. Not even you."

They made their way to the Halloway bar (the one that seemed the most popular). The walk was silent, Cas looking properly chastised, and Dean trying to quell his anger and disappointment. He was more put out by the fact that Cas kept something so big from him than he wanted to admit. He thought that they had something here? How was Dean supposed to learn how to trust Cas again when he did these things.

When they got to the bar, Dean ordered them a couple drinks and Castiel looked a bit uncomfortable. Dean wanted to forget the recent developments and have a good time. He hoped with time (and alcohol) he could achieve that.

"Dean, this is dangerous. What if we're recognized? We can't keep track of leviathans. What if they are in this town?"

"Relax, Castiel. You did the research. No funny business for ten years. I can't be cooped up in that house all the damn time. I need human contact!" Castiel narrowed his eyes and Dean imagined he looked a bit hurt by that statement. "Look, I like hanging out with you but I go crazy staying in one place all the time. Let's try to have fun tonight, okay?"

"Okay, Dean." Castiel still seemed a bit uncertain but visibly tried to relax. Dean knew that the alcohol wouldn't do anything for him, but Dean was already starting to feel a nice buzz. He spotted a pool table amongst the collection of slightly intoxicated patrons. There were a few people playing and Dean wondered if he could join in. "Wanna play pool?" Castiel narrowed his eyes skeptically.

"I don't know how."

"I'll teach ya. Come on." Castiel reluctantly followed Dean towards to pool table where the angel stood back to watch. There was a group of ladies playing and Dean smiled, laying on the charm.

"My friend here doesn't know how to play. Can you teach him?" The girls lit up at the sight of Castiel and their gazes were less than pure, but Dean ignored it. He'd be able to take care of himself. Two girls took the opportunity to teach Cas about scoring and the balls and Dean picked out a nice stick to use, bringing it back to the table. He found the triangle and put in a few quarters lining up the colored balls and proceeded to break.

He shot a few holes for about ten minutes, his glance persistently stuck on the angel getting a little too friendly with the girls over there. A perky little blond seemed especially outgoing with the way she kept hanging all over him.

"You hold that stick well," A sultry voice whispered in his ear. Dean turned his head and was met with huge green eyes and a vicious little smile. He grinned back.

"And your name is?"

"Caroline. You're new in these parts? I've never seen you or your boyfriend around before." Dean sputtered. B-Boyfriend? Really?

"Excuse me. . . _Boyfriend_?" She giggled, latching onto his arm.

"Isn't he? You keep glaring over there every five seconds. You look like you wanted to murder my poor Angela when she started hanging all over him." Dean's eyes were instantly trained on the way 'Angela's' massive chest was currently pressed against Castiel's arm. Castiel was frozen solid, apparently unable to talk about anything even remotely close to pool. So he was content just being chatted up, then? Dean narrowed his eyes.

"Cas is a big boy. He can do whatever the hell he wants. I don't even care." If Cas thought those girls were better company than Dean, then so be it. He turned to the girl and they started playing some billiards. She was gorgeous. He was reminded of when he used to pick up chicks like her. He had the idea of doing so now, but for some reason he couldn't stop peaking over his shoulder, becoming more and more irritated with every careless brush against Castiel's arm or bat of an oversized eyelash.

"Look, sweetheart. I get that you're out here and want to have some fun, but if you want him to stop flirting with them, just tell him."

"I _don't_." Dean insisted. "What makes you so convinced I'm gay anyways?" She sighed.

"It's not that I'm convinced you're _gay_. I just know that _look_."

"Look? What _look?_"

"The way your eyes linger on him means he's more than just a friend to you. Your tapping your fingers impatiently which means he not paying attention to you and you're upset by that. You're probably using me to try and make him jealous, right?" Dean gaped at her, lost for words. She laughed. "What, were you reading some sort of couples magazine? Unfortunately people aren't so cut and dry." She moved closer and whispered in his ear. "You have to make it convincing." Before Dean could even blink, the woman's lips were melded to his and he could feel her sticky lip gloss and smell all the make up on her face. It was decidedly unpleasant in comparison to the tasteless passion gotten by kisses with Castiel. Had it always been like this with women? He pulled back as quick as his mind caught up with him and raised an eyebrow in question. She shrugged and looked pointedly over his shoulder. He turned his head to see Cas striding over, a very angry glare on his face. _Oh shit. . ._

"Cas—" Dean started, a defensive excuse on his lips before Castiel grabbed his arm and yanked him forward.

"We're leaving." He said tersely, his voice dangerous and low and sending arousing shivers down Dean's spine. Dean looked over his shoulder to see Caroline wink. Dean didn't want to even think of all the trouble he was in right now. Cas was fucking _pissed_.

"Come play again, sweetheart!" Angela called as they exited the bar through the back. Castiel rounded the corner and pulled Dean harshly in the direction of the house. Dean tried to pull out of his grasp but it was all for nothing. Cas was stronger than a machine and kept walking.

"Cas let me go! Come on, dude!" Dean yanked harder but to no avail. _"Cas stop!" _

"Do you think my feelings for you are a joke?" Cas said, stopping and whipping around to face Dean, his face full of hurt and anger. Dean bit his lip, his face heating up in a strange mixture of shame, arousal and fear.

"Of course not!" Castiel threw up his arms in agitation.

"Then what the _hell_, Dean? What was that in there? I turn around and you're _kissing _that scantily clad concubine when you _know_ how I feel about you? Why would you do this?" Dean felt guilt bubbling to the surface and _goddammit _he hadn't _wanted _to kiss her. He wanted to tell Cas that, but his pride wouldn't allow him to.

"And what about _you?_ You say you love me but then you ignore me all week and let all those bitches hang all over you like they're your own personal harem or something? That girl was one step away from stepping inside your clothes—" Dean suddenly felt dizzy. _Very _dizzy. He gripped his head, trying to steady the earth beneath his feet.

"_Ignore _yo—Dean what are you talking about? I had no intention of engaging in indiscretions with those women. You should _know_ I have no interest in that. I was trying to think of the socially acceptable way to tell them to 'fuck off' when I turn around to—Dean? Dean what's wrong?" Dean felt his knees hit the cold pavement (or perhaps the pavement hit his knees, he couldn't really tell either way). He knew that Cas was right there, but he couldn't see him. He couldn't even feel the angel's Grace like he usually could. His vision was swimming in and out of focus and it felt like all of his energy was being drained.

The world slowly slid out of his point of view and he could hear a distant voice calling his name as the lights went out.

* * *

><p>Sam was placed strategically in the center of a ring of blood. He was naked, hair and skin devoid of any lingering cleaning products as the ritual only allowed individuals in their purest state to pass the barrier into the realm. He sat with the bowl full of ground bark in his lap. He felt the uncomfortable sensation of the blood on the floor sticking to his skin, but it remained a complete circle nonetheless. Lucifer had translated the Enochian words he was supposed to recite, but it was strange that he was even able to do that as a hallucination; Did Lucifer leave knowledge of the angelic language in his head?<p>

He decided to ignore the sinister feeling crawling up his back. He didn't have time to think about that. He had to find Dean. That was his mission.

"Remember, stay focused." Lucifer reminded him. "The sensation will want to numb you of all feelings and worries, but you can overcome it if you fight it. It's very important or you'll end up losing yourself, lost in the Grace network for all eternity as your body remains here and decays." Sam nodded, looking down at the paper in his hands.

As he spoke the words, his tongue danced around them fluidly like he'd been speaking the language his entire life. Before he even finished, the circle around him was shining as bright as the sun and he was enveloped in a warm light. It was peaceful and it calmed every one of Sam's senses. He almost didn't even remember why he was doing it

Almost.

Sam closed his eyes as the light wrapped around his mind and the colors of the room started swirling in front of him. He had the annoyingly familiar sensation of his mind disconnecting with his body before everything went black.

* * *

><p>In the darkness, an angel in a tan trench coat was found at the side of a fallen hunter. Dean's face was pale and lifeless and his breath was as shallow as the faint beating of his heart.<p>

Castiel used a small amount of his Grace to take his vitals. Dean's blood pressure was down, his heart rate unnervingly slow, but he couldn't pin-point the underlying cause until he extended his reach to the baby in his belly. Alarmed was he to discover that the Grace he'd felt there before was almost completely gone. Both father and child seemed to be in a critical condition. Castiel's heart rate sped up without his permission and a strong sense of panic arose in his chest. This couldn't have been happening. Dean had seemed perfectly fine and ready to kick his ass moments ago.

Cas bit his lip and looked around, his voice tight with the weight of the world crashing down on him. Dean would be okay. He _had _to be okay. Their relationship was only just beginning and now it was coming to an end? The child inside of Dean hadn't even taken its first breath, it would be tragic if the child couldn't even experience what it was like to grow up. Castiel would never know fatherhood and Dean. . . Well, Dean wouldn't love him. They'd be in Heaven and Dean would be too preoccupied with his friends and family to remember the time he spent with Castiel. With a sinking feeling in his chest at this realization, he knew now for sure that he wanted more than anything to live on this Earth with Dean and their child and he would do anything to make that happen.

"Dean. . . _Dean wake up_!" Castiel felt despair threatening to choke him. Dean wasn't responding and he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to use any more Grace, lest they be discovered by those who wanted to harm Dean and the baby. Dean couldn't defend himself and Castiel was only one angel. He wasn't even an archangel so he would be at a disadvantage were they to be attacked by a group of them. He did the only thing he could do and shouted at the top of his lungs. "_Gabriel!_"

* * *

><p>There was no wind. No sound. Just peace, and it was threatening to seep into Sam's senses, making his mind fuzzy and pliant. He wanted so badly to just let everything go. He could take all of this responsibility and just forget about it.<p>

He could have done that, but he didn't. Sam had to focus. He had to find Dean.

In the back of his mind, he realized that his corporeal form was gone and he was simply a consciousness hovering in a dark place. It was weird, being bodiless, but he felt disconcertingly pure. It was like his mind was having a hard time thinking about things too deeply. He couldn't let this feeling consume him, however.

Drawing strength from somewhere unknown, the Winchester raked his eyes (or whatever it was that he was seeing with) over the scene in front of him. hundreds of tiny lights shone in a web of what he assumed was Grace. Every so often, certain lights would shine more brightly and grow larger than others and then suddenly recede back into the tiny balls they once were. Sam was at a loss for words. Lucifer appeared beside him, a sinister smirk on his face.

"Welcome to the Grace network, Sammy."

* * *

><p>Sorry about mistakes if there are any. It's very long and I don't have a beta. Also sorry for the cliffhanger, it was just getting so long. . . Reviews are love and I will fix anything you point out that happens to be weirdwrong/horrifying. : )


	11. Seduction Part 2 of 2

**Seeing In Black  
>Chapter 11 Seduction: A Memoir by Dean Winchester 2 of 2<strong>

**a/n: **Thank you all for reviewing and showing your love for this story. It's slow moving but I just want you all to know that I _do _love this story and I want to see it finished sometime in this life. I will try to keep my focus on Supernatural and the destiel flame burning bright.

Warnings: The blow job scene in this chapter, for some reason, seems to be more sexually explicit than any other sex scene I've written for this story, even though it's only a blow job. . . I'm stamping the NC-17 rating on this thing now just to be safe. I also apologize for any mistakes as this is my longest chapter yet and I do NOT have a beta.

::

Sam's entire world consisted of the glowing of a thousand tiny lights, each connected and moving and _living_. It was bright and warm and _pure. _Sam felt like he was a part of that. As he floated through it, the lights sought him out and greeted him cautiously, almost like they knew he was an intruder, but were curious all the same. Sam almost felt guilty for disturbing the peace, but the lights were forgiving and he didn't worry about it. As long as he didn't disturb the natural order of things, he could stay there however long he wanted.

And somehow he just _knew _that.

"Come back, Sam. You were doing fine before you let your mind wander." What was that? He was speaking with sound, words, vibrations and Sam could feel it and make sense of it. He knew this language.

Sam moved away from the voice. He didn't like it. It made him nervous.

"Sam you need to manifest."

"Manifest. . ." Sam said. Wow, he could say. . . He could _speak_!

"Your letting the peace consume you. It's easy to do when you're just a floating consciousness. It's easier to stabilize if you take the form of your body."

"Why would I want to do that? I'm perfectly fine like this."

"Sam you have a mission, remember?"

"A mission?"

"You have to find your brother. Manifest, _please_." Brother? A man from the same parents. Parents. Givers of life. Life. He'd had one of those. He had a life, parents and a brother. He had a broth—

What was he doing here? Where was this place? Oh right. The ritual. He had to perform a ritual to track. . . Castiel? That was right. Castiel was an angel—An angel that was with his brother. The angel keeping his brother away. . . His brother. Dean.

"Dean. . . Right. What do I do?" Sam didn't know where to begin. It was really difficult to concentrate right then because it seemed like every memory he ever had, everything he _was_ had just been lost and was currently flooding back into his head all at once. It was very distracting. He couldn't seem to grasp and hold onto anything for very long. They came and went before coming back again, trying to stick but unable to.

"Just imagine your human body and fill in the blanks with your mind. Just think about it." Sam closed his eyes, plucking the image of his body from the swarm of images. Long hair, long legs, brown, plaid—Lots of plaid. Wow his hair was long. He really should cut that. . .

He quickly gathered every memory being thrown at him and bound them all up in a ball. The ball grew and soon everything was becoming so clear. When he opened his eyes, he was standing with his long legs. He looked down at his arms and flexed his hands. His mind seemed to be able to hold every memory now. Before it was so fluid, like water in the palm of your hands that tried relentlessly to escape. He didn't realize until now how much it felt like his skull was physically holding his mind together. He looked to the left and saw Lucifer standing next to him, a smirk on his face.

"You sure are difficult in soul form. I thought you'd never come out of it." Sam blinked, recalling his murky train of thoughts regarding his reason for being here. He was still kind of out of it—The peace was intoxicating—But he had better focus now.

"Sorry—Wait, _soul _form?"

"Soul form refers to the actual state of being sans your corporeal body. It's the purest state of being and it's very difficult to control since you don't have a brain to actually direct you. This is why nobody, not even angels like coming here. There's the very real danger of allowing yourself to be lost in the peace forever."

"And you couldn't bother to tell me that _before_ I came waltzing in here like an idiot?" Lucifer shrugged.

"I figured you'd work out the kinks as you went along. But _look_! You're so in control now, you could put Michael to shame! We all decided to enter as a courage test when we were still fledglings. You should have seen _him _in here, it was awesome. Have you ever seen an angel drunk?"

"Yes." Sam remarked, hardly able to believe he could answer in the affirmative.

"Well imagine Michael! It was great. . ." Lucifer had the most listless look on his face and Sam stared at him like he grew a second head. Lucifer recalling his brothers _fondly_? Were pigs flying now, too? Lucifer noticed the look he was being given before he shrugged it off and continued. "Anyways, if you touch one of these things, it will tell you everything you need to know about the angel its chosen, _including _its exact location."

"The angel its _chosen_? You're saying angels are chosen by Grace? I had it in my mind they were born with it." Lucifer smirked.

"Well they are, but you have to realize, Grace is technically God juice, Sam. Since angels don't have parents, the Grace chooses what the angel will look like and then it creates it. It gives each angel a name and a purpose too." Sam moved closer to the ball of light and, surely enough, he could see tiny scrawl wrapped around the light in gold. He couldn't read the writing, but strangely enough he knew who it was.

"Diniel." The name rolled off his tongue and he looked at Lucifer suspiciously. "Why can I understand Enochian? Look, if you left it in my brain then that means you were planning on using it later. Why is it like this? What are you planning? I know you can't just be helping me find my brother. You're fucking _Satan_, so what is it you want?" Lucifer looked shocked and he put his hand to his chest in a wounded manner.

"You think I'm planning some sinister plot to escape hell and destroy heaven?" Sam nodded. Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Well you're _probably _right. I can't lie, Sam. You know that, but right now do you really have any other choice but to trust me?"

"You're going to kill my brother and his child." Sam said, his stance turning defensive.

"No I'm not, Sam. I'm not going to _tell _you my sinister plot, but I can tell you that Dean and that little abomination in his belly are safe, at least from _me._ I'm sure Heaven is having a field day with this, however." He said, chuckling a bit. "You need to find Dean, and I need to get myself out of that cage you all so nicely locked me in. We can work together, and when we both get what we want, we can go our separate ways. Easy as pie, right?"

"I doubt you'll want to go separate ways. You've always been carrying a torch for my body. Like I'm going to believe you're over that now." Sam snorted disdainfully. Lucifer rolled his eyes, conceding Sam's point.

"Well it _is_ a perfect fit. . . But we can cross that bridge when we get there. You've defeated me once before, who says you can't do it again?"

"If I remember, correctly, defeating you earned me an all-expenses paid visit to hell, so I'm sorry if I'm not one-hundred percent on board with whatever shit you have planned."

"Oh, Sammy, Sammy, come now. You can choose to ignore me and just find Dean by yourself, and I will be lead to him, or you can take my advice and find him sooner and I'll _still_ be lead to him. Either way we both get what we want; just one route is faster than the other. It's up to you, babe." Sam narrowed his eyes at the pet name.

"We'll see. For now we're doing things _my _way. I don't care if you come along for the ride, but you're _not _getting into my head. I'm taking your advice so _I _can find my brother. There will be _nothing _else." Lucifer raised his hands in concession, taking a step back and bowing slightly.

"Your wish is my command, Sam. I'm just that sweet little angel whispering advice on your shoulder." Sam curled his lip before turning away, the image raising bile in his throat. He was really messed up, taking advice from _Lucifer _of all people, but he knew he had a choice. He knew he had control of this so he wasn't going to stop if it brought him to Dean sooner. The moment he found his brother, he would simply tune the dark angel out and that would be the end of it.

"So how do I see the location of the angels?"

"You need to combine your consciousness', but looky! You're manifested, so all you have to do is touch one and you'll see." Sam looked nervously at the ball of glowing light before him before tentatively reaching out his hand.

When he connected with it, it was a rush the likes of which he'd never experienced. Images of heaven, angels and voices had his head spinning, a ringing in his ears and his eyes burned and he staggered away, gripping his head in agony. After the pain was over, Sam desperately tried to chase the memories but they were quickly slipping from his mind—No, more like his mind was rejecting it.

"Well I didn't say go and touch just _any_ orb, Sam, gosh. Oh come on, don't pout. It wasn't _that _bad. You only saw images. If you saw the angels in person your eyes would have burned out of your skull. Grow a pair, okay? I'm embarrassed for you."

"Will you just shut_—ow—_The fuck up? It's like you never quit talking." Lucifer rolled his eyes, strolling past the agonized figure of Sam Winchester and stopping at a particular section of the web. Sam ignored him and concentrating on trying to recall the images he'd seen. The sounds and figures and flashes of things with colors he'd never seen were maddening and his head exploded in pain.

"Stop trying to remember it. Images like that will drive a human insane. Your brain isn't wired to fathom an angel's form or the true form of Heaven." Sam shook his head, a bit disappointed, but Lucifer had a point. He continued, looking towards the web of Grace. "Weak but important angels are usually placed in the inner portion of the web. Cassie's here somewhe—Oh! Interesting! You might want to check this out, babe. It's really freaking cool." Sam resisted the urge to groan petulantly, not anxious for another bit of Lucifer's chastising. Sam shoved Lucifer out of his way and looked down to the—Wait, what _was _that?

Connected to the web of orbs stood a solid black orb, not shining or growing or diminishing, just a hard force in the sea of fluidity. Around it was Castiel's name in Enochian and, upon closer inspection, Sam could see a faint glowing coming from inside.

"It's. . . _locked_?" Sam tried, looking to Lucifer for confirmation. Lucifer let out a puff of air, shrugging and gesturing in defeat.

"Well sure looks like it. I guess Castiel decided to take every precaution against someone finding him via Grace." Lucifer poked the barrier, jumping at the spark of electricity it created. He put his finger in his mouth, as though something like that hurt him. "Kiss it?" Lucifer held out his finger and Sam mustered up his best bitchface and the devil pouted, not liking being rejected. "Well the barrier is strong, but it's not infallible. I suspect any major outburst of Grace will easily push past its limits. The problem is it's impenetrable unless that happens, so we're stuck if Castiel is being careful."

"My brother always finds trouble, so Castiel will most likely be forced to use his Grace at some point." Sam rationed.

"But there's no telling whenever the hell _that _will be." Lucifer rolled his eyes, crossing his arms huffily.

"Then I'll wait." Sam said, parking his ass down right in front of the black box. He wasn't exactly sitting on anything, then again he hadn't exactly been _standing _on anything either, which was still mind boggling.

"Staying here is dangerous, Sam. You're lucid now, but prolonged exposure is going to break your focus and you'll wind up losing yourself again."

"I won't." Sam insisted, stubbornly.

"And what happens when days go by? Your body? You can't be here 24/7, Sam. You'll die in the human world if you don't take care of yourself."

"Then I'll leave only when I need to. If you're so insistent on helping, then you can let me know when I need to get back. You can keep me focused. We're both after the same thing right now, right? We can at least work together." Lucifer's lip curled in disgust

"That sounds disgustingly team free will," Lucifer sat down next to Sam, sighing in defeat. "But so be it. I'll keep you from dying and flying the cuckoo's nest while you sit here and wait for Castiel to slip up."

::

"Sam, wake up."

"Just a few more hours."

"_Sam!" _Sam snapped up at Lucifer, his eyes drooping and his body staggering as he was pulled out of the network. Upon further inspection, he realized, it wasn't Lucifer at all. The man before him was short and had longish hair and a mischievous grin on his face. Sam gripped his head in pain and stood clumsily to his feet, oblivious to his current state of undress because his mind couldn't even _think_. Gabriel helped steady him.

"Woah, when's the last time you ate, bro?"

"I hope you're not here to try to stop me, because last time your brothers tried, they ended up etched into the floorboards." Gabriel rolled his eyes, sitting Sam on the bed next to the circle of blood.

"If I wanted to stop you, you would have been dead by now." Sam looked at him weirdly.

"What do you want, then?"

"I'm worried about you, Sam. Simple as that. I think you're going to run yourself into the ground if you keep doing this." Gabriel sat on the bed, a worried frown on his face as he looked at the Winchester. Sam rubbed his eyes, the lack of sleep finally catching up with him. He'd been in the circle for 74 hours now, various snacks and empty water bottles littered the floor next to the ritual circle. Sam thought he would be bored staying in the Grace network all day and night, but he was content just letting his mind scatter while he was there, holding onto his focus just enough not to lose himself. If he came close, Lucifer was there to poke him back to reality. He would eat something fast and not particularly healthy, down a full water bottle and quickly get back to it.

The denizen of Hell was certainly being helpful, Sam was loath to admit. He didn't notice his body tiring until Lucifer woke him up to tell him to take a twenty minute nap every now and then. It wasn't much, but it was enough. It was all Sam needed. He had to stay awake because if he missed his chance to find Castiel's Grace signature, it was entirely possible he wouldn't get another one.

"I'm fine. I'll just take a twenty minute nap and everything will be fine." Sam lay down against the softness of the motel bed—Well softer than the floor anyways. He sighed, sinking into a deep sleep. Lucifer would wake him after twenty minutes.

::

When Sam awoke again, it was dark and the only light was the light coming from his cell phone display on the desk. Sam blinked the fuzzy haze of sleep from his senses before jolting up, the time on his cell phone reading 4 am and just _how long _had he been sleeping? Gabriel was sitting on the end of the bed, smiling softly. Sam wanted to punch the smirk right off his face, and he would have if the action wouldn't shatter his fingers. Sam looked to his left to see Lucifer with a scowl on his face, looking extremely pissed off.

"He doped you up with some mojo so you wouldn't wake up until you were fully rested. I tried to stop him but he wasn't listening to me." Sam rolled his eyes. Of course he couldn't, Lucifer wasn't even real. He glared, instead, at Gabriel

"How long was I out?"

"Only about 20 hours—" He cut Gabriel off mid-sentence.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sam jumped off the bed as though it were made of giant spiders, glaring at the archangel who only smiled sweetly.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Sam." Sam raked his fingers through his hair before setting himself (his suspiciously clean and clothed self) back into the circle, remembering that he needed to be naked and started tearing off his clothes. He felt Gabriel's eyes on him and he glared.

"Can you leave, please? I don't even know why you're here in the first place."

"I told you, I was worried."

"Like hell you were. What? Did Castiel send you to spy on me?" Sam swallowed his pride and took off his boxers, trying not to let his cheeks burn too hotly in embarrassment.

"I didn't know this was a free show."

"Shut up."

"I'm not playing Castiel's dog. I'm simply here because I would prefer you to not collapse of malnutrition and exhaustion."

"Well your concern isn't wanted." Gabriel opened his mouth, about to respond when he shut it awkwardly, looking off into the distance.

"Sorry kiddo, gotta cut our playtime short. I'll check on you again later, so you better not be two inches away from death this time." Sam rolled his eyes and concentrated on opening the barrier. He vaguely noted Gabriel disappearing as he entered the Grace network. He was able to pop right to Castiel's orb this time. It was as infallible as ever and Sam allowed his consciousness to partially drift. If he didn't do that, he would be utterly bored. In that state, at least, he didn't have to think about how boring it was. There was literally nothing but peace. Lucifer would snap him out of it if there was some sort of activity.

He didn't know how long he was out of it before he was being poked, the peace in his mind being disturbed. It was becoming easier and easier to recreate the body he made for himself.

"Sam! This is it. Castiel must have slipped up, because look!" Sam blinked, seeing the bright white shining inside the blackness of the orb. The orb vibrated ominously before the blackness dispersed and nothing but bright white light was left shining loud and proud.

"Castiel. . ." Sam didn't hesitate to sink his fingers into the bright light.

::

"Make him wake up." Castiel demanded glaring at Gabriel in their bedroom. Dean was covered with the blanket, his body shivering like crazy and Castiel couldn't even focus properly on _anything. _It was maddening and Gabriel said he would help, but here they were, sitting around Dean and the man was still skipping one heartbeat too many. Castiel fisted his hands, not liking the stern look of concentration Gabriel was donning. The man was only so serious when the situation was _really _bad.

"I had a feeling this would happen. Castiel, when was the last time you two had sex?" Cas blinked, his mind torn from the situation at hand and he suddenly felt very angry.

"That is not of import, Gabriel. Dean's life is in danger and you're asking me about our sexual activity?"

"If you want him to live, you'll answer me." Gabriel said grimly, his voice hard as stone and eyes even harder. Castiel swallowed and nodded, reminded all too vividly of how intimidating his brother could _really _be. He kept forgetting that Gabriel was actually an archangel and could smite him at any minute.

"Exactly a week ago." He said quietly. Gabriel nodded and worked his Grace over Dean's body. Cas watched his actions curiously, wondering what he was trying to achieve. It looked almost as though he was trying to make Dean absorb it.

Dean's body twitched slightly and Castiel stopped breathing, the anticipation too much for him to bear. He grabbed Dean's hand and his excitement quickly twisted into fear when the hunter's body started to convulse. Castiel stood up and looked frantically to Gabriel.

"What's happening to him?! What did you do?" Gabriel clenched his teeth in frustration.

"Come on, Winchester, seriously?" Gabriel slumped back, falling to his knees beside the bed. "What a _dick." _Castiel's brother huffed in irritation and ran his fingers through his hair. "Looks like it has to be _you_." He gestured wildly to Castiel. "Dean's rejecting me."

"_What_?" Gabriel shook his head and took Castiel's hand, placing it above Dean's heart.

"You need to let Dean absorb your Grace. The baby is half _angel _and angels can't be made without Grace. To make up for it, it will start absorbing Dean's life force and both father and child will die."

"_How—"_

"It's an emotional process. You need to find Dean's consciousness and form a link and get his permission. You have to convince him to let you into his thoughts. Only then can you transfer your Grace to his core."

"But Dean's unconscious!"

"He's here, just barely. _Try _Castiel. You're running out of time!" Castiel pushed down the panic in his mind and cleared it the best he could, reaching out with his consciousness to find Dean's. It was so quiet inside Dean's mind. . . Alarmingly quiet—But he could feel him. He could feel him there. He opened his eyes as he manifested in Dean's thoughts. It was nighttime and the stars were dotting the sky that he could see through a clearing of trees. He looked ahead, and in the distance he could see a car parked on the edge of a cliff. He noted his lack of ability to fly here, his wings altogether refusing to manifest with his vessel's image. It was Dean's consciousness, after all, and apparently it was a no-fly zone.

Castiel ran, his footsteps the only sound in the silent stillness of the night. He recognized the Impala as he got closer, and the man sitting atop was none other than Dean. He was sipping a beer and looking up at the night sky. Castiel skidded to a halt when Dean spoke.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" His voice was wistful and candid, and it sounded like he didn't have a care in the world. Cas recognized this voice. This was the voice of a man that knew he gave the world everything he had and he had nothing to regret. This was the voice of a righteous man about to die.

"Dean listen, you have to—" Dean hopped off the car and turned towards Castiel.

"You shouldn't look so sad, Cas. I don't like it when you're sad." Dean walked up to him and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're here, man. I didn't want to leave without seeing you first. There's so much I never got to say to you and I want to say it now." Castiel felt the unfamiliar feeling of panic rise from deep within once again and shook his head, forcing himself to think rationally.

"No, No Dean this isn't what you think! You're not dying, we can fix this."

"What are you talking about? I may be dumb but I can tell when I'm dying. I've done it before. I always end up here." Castiel shook his head again, gripping Dean's shoulders too tightly before forcing him backwards.

"No, no, _no_. This time, I can save you. Please trust me. We just need to connect. . . Somehow." Castiel looked around, desperately for some sort of clue as to how he was supposed to do this. He'd never actually joined consciousness with anybody. Even taking a vessel didn't involve that kind of intimacy and it made him uncomfortable to think about. Castiel had heard of angels doing it before, but it seemed so taboo. Only Gabriel and Balthazar would talk about it so openly, like it were some kind of thrill that everyone should try at least once.

Castiel never imagined he'd be put in this kind of position, so he never asked how to do it. Dean smiled softly, putting his hand on Cas's face and stilling his motion. Blue locked onto green and Castiel looked at Dean sadly, despair gripping him tightly because he wasn't going to make it. He was flying blind and there was no obvious way out of this mess. At least, if everything were going to end anyways, he would be able to talk to Dean one last time. He could have that. He slumped and pressed his forehead to Dean's, wrapping his arms tightly around the man's waist and Dean _let _him. It was so wonderful. Couldn't they just stay like this forever?

"You know," Dean started, holding Castiel back tightly. "I was always kind of in denial about what was happening between us, but I just want you to know that I liked it. The thing you and I had, whatever it was. I was starting to think maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we became a thing. . . You know," Dean looked away nervously before speaking again. "Maybe it wasn't as one sided as you might have thought." Castiel felt his heart race, even though he knew it was just his consciousness. Dean felt this way? About _him_?

"You have romantic feelings for me?" Dean rolled his eyes his face turning crimson. He raked his fingers down his freckled cheeks.

"Not when you say it like _that_. Jesus, Cas." He looked at Cas through his long, dark lashes before looking away, his face softening a fraction. His cheeks were stained an attractive shade of pink. "But yeah, something like that." Castiel could hardly control the euphoria threatening to overwhelm him. In the back of his mind he noticed the gap between him and Dean's consciousness' and, as Dean revealed that little tid-bit of information, the gap grew smaller. Was that the key; Honesty and openness without reservation? He shook his head, grabbing Dean by the shoulders, his determination successfully reinstated.

"It won't end here, Dean. I'm going to get you out of here." He said firmly. "You need to trust me, okay?"

"I always trust you, even when I shouldn't, I do. You know that." Castiel took him by the hands, bringing their foreheads together again, this time in urgency.

"No, I mean trust me because you're going to have to open yourself to me. You need to let me see everything and allow me access to your mind to do whatever I want. I know it's difficult for you but you need to do this." Dean smiled, stroking Castiel's cheek with his hand.

"But, why?" Dean shook his head. "Cas I'm with you now and we'll be together in Heaven. It's okay."

"But you're forgetting something, Dean."

"What?" Castiel pressed his hand to Dean's stomach, looking deeply into the hunter's eyes.

"I. . . I want to watch our child grow up on Earth. I want to raise it and be a father. I want to do that with you. I want to live our lives with frustrating human limitations and aimlessly stumble our way through it all. We can't do that if you die." Dean's eyes suddenly cleared and his expression fell. Castiel brought his face closer to Dean, their lips barely touching. "Our child is about to die."

"O-Our child." Dean's grip tightened around Castiel's arms, his eyes widening in alarm. "C-Cas? Cas! I'm dying! I _can't_ die yet What do I do?!" Cas pressed closer, pulling Dean's body close to him and wrapping his arms securely around his middle.

"Shh, it's okay, Dean. I'm here. Let me in. . . Let me see all of you." Dean studied him for a moment and nodded, his face softening just a fraction and that's when Cas felt it. Dean was suddenly projecting his entire life to Castiel—All the pain, the sorrow, Hell and the utter aloneness he'd felt time and time again. He was projecting the happiness he'd felt in the past few weeks being with Cas, he was projecting his trust, his forgiveness and his devotion to the angel, to whatever it was they had together. Castiel tried not to become overwhelmed by the raw emotion being forced through his barriers. It was Dean's soul and it was powerful. Castiel would probably have been able to look upon it for centuries if he allowed himself to, but he had a mission. Two lives depended on his success now—Two lives so very dear to him. Castiel gasped when he felt Dean's consciousness reach into his. He'd opened himself up just as wide as Dean had, but it still felt like an intrusion—One decidedly not unwelcome. He bit his lip, probably liking the feeling more than he should.

"Cas I feel you. . . I feel you so much." Dean's eyes were impossibly wide in wonder, as though he couldn't physically open them wide enough to see everything he was seeing. His retinas were darting from side to side, unseeing anything but what going on in his head. Tears streamed down his face, and Castiel wondered, for a brief moment, how a man could look so beautiful that way. "You're inside me and I'm inside you and its crazy. There are so many years of your life and they're all trying to speak to me at once." Castiel shook him gently and Dean's eyes focused on him once again.

"Don't get lost, Dean. Don't look upon the images too closely. Your mind can't hold all of that information." He kissed him once before pulling back to look at him. "I'm going to send my Grace into the connection now." Dean's eyes widened once again.

"Your _Grace_?" Castiel nodded.

"Don't be alarmed." He pushed his Grace forward through the connection and almost instantly it was absorbed, spreading through Dean's body like wildfire. Castiel staggered, the force of the pull making him dizzy and he opened his eyes, suddenly aware that he was no longer in Dean's dream-world. Their foreheads were still touching but Dean's eyes were closed.

But the connection was still there. It was still strong and demanding. Castiel looked up at Gabriel, the weight of the relief lying heavily on his shoulders.

"He's alive. It's working."

"Great, but now we have a huge fucking problem on our hands." Gabriel was staring pointedly into nothing. Castiel looked at him strangely before feeling something infinitely strange. It was an intrusion the likes of which he'd never felt before. Somebody, somebody he never gave permission to, was touching. . . touching his Grace and he felt violated, exposed and. . . _Oh._

"Sam. . ." He ground out, his hidden wings twitching into visibility because he couldn't concentrate on keeping them out of this plane when somebody was clawing at his Grace from beyond and he had a link to keep with Dean at the same time. He felt one wing fan out in agitation, feathers ruffling agitatedly.

"Yeah, Sam. I was just there, had to pull him out of the Grace network kicking and screaming." Castiel's wings were drawn out threateningly as he tried to keep his concentration on the link with Dean and forced himself not to try to push out Sam. He couldn't do both at once.

"He's in the Grace network? He's found my signature. . ."

"He did and now he's going to know where you are." Castiel started to stand up in alarm but Gabriel held him in place, not letting the angel's hand leave Dean's body. "You need to keep your Grace stream flowing, or the process will be interrupted."

"P-Process?" Castiel felt a distinct _tug _on his consciousness now, he did his best to block it out but he couldn't be one-hundred percent sure if he was successful. Dean's consciousness was silent as he slept, but it still took a _lot _of Castiel's energy to maintain the link.

"Yes. It seems that the baby needs to be exposed to Grace to keep it alive while it is inside of Dean. Dean doesn't have Grace so it has to be you. Kind of like how male fish fertilize eggs."

"I don't like this analogy." Castiel was hardly a _fish. Yank_

"Well deal with it. The Grace you've been giving Dean up to now has been enough but insufficient. When you stopped fucking, things got bad real fast." Castiel felt his face get hot at those words.

"We've only had sex three times."

"It was enough, but barely. It seems all the insufficient Grace has caught up with him when it stopped altogether for a week."

"And you didn't notice that when you examined the child yesterday?" Castiel said, irritation coloring his voice.

"I hadn't touched its Grace before, so I didn't know what was normal but apparently it was really, really low. I wasn't informed that the baby needed a supply of external Grace to survive, Castiel. It's not something that can be measured anyways without mapping it first, so even if I _had _known, I wouldn't have been able to tell how critical it was." Cas frowned, irritated that Father hadn't bothered to let them know something so important.

"Well how do we prevent this from happening again?"

"You need to do this," He gestured to Dean's prone figure on the bed. "At least once a week."

"And for how long?"

"Well when was the last time you felt the baby's signature?"

"The day after you first visited me—during Dean's sleep."

"Well when it's active you'll notice. The baby will interact with Dean more when it's at a healthy level. Take note of the activity and how long between exchanges it takes for it to diminish." Castiel looked away, thinking of breaking this news to Dean.

"Dean isn't going to like this. I know it."

"Well you can't fuck your way through it anymore. It's not enough. The baby needs more of your Grace to survive." Castiel nodded, his face heating up as he thought about his next question. Gabriel raised a brow. "As for _that, _you can stay out of Dean long enough for me to check in with Sam and see where he's at, right? If he hasn't discovered your location, you don't want to tempt fate by taking unnecessary risks." Castiel nodded, running his fingers through Dean's short, light brown hair. With the way Dean had been behaving lately, Castiel wondered if it really qualified as 'unnecessary'. How was Castiel meant to control himself around this man?

Dean took a deep, shuddering breath before turning on his side, closer to the touch. Castiel's brows shot up to his hairline as he felt a minute tug on his Grace and he realized that, for the first time, he was communicating with his child. He sighed in relief, feeling the warmth spread through his chest.

"They're okay. I feel the baby." He said, his hand absentmindedly rubbing Dean's stomach. His face was stretched uncomfortably wide in what must have been a giant grin. Gabriel smiled as he watched, a soft look on his face.

"You're so cute in proud-daddy mode."

"Proud daddy mode?" Castiel looked up at him curiously.

"You're already so protective over your kid and it's so disgustingly heart-warming to see." Castiel couldn't help but smile.

"My kid. I have a kid." Cas bit his lip, some weird form of pride bubbling up inside of him at the thought. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Look at you, all glowing and shit. The excitement is pouring off of you. It's gross." Gabriel chuckled, resting his head on his hands next to Dean's side.

"Is it really like that?" Castiel asked tilting his head, his hand never leaving Dean as the Grace flooded into him.

"Yeah, It's really weird seeing you like this, you know. Angels aren't built to feel those kinds of things."

"If I recall, you feel a whole lot of things Angels aren't supposed to feel."

"Well I'm technically a free-lancer."

"If that's what you call it, then I must be one too." Gabriel chuckled, standing up.

"I suppose you are. Just don't forget that we need to be super careful now. I'm going to go back to Sam and I'll keep you updated with what's happening. Don't use your Grace after this unless I say it's safe, okay?" Castiel nodded and Gabriel took flight, leaving nothing behind but the faint echo of feathers.

::

Beautiful eyes were staring back at him when Dean woke up. The ocean blue of his irises was the most calming thing—It was safe and familiar, but he knew he didn't have time to get lost in them. He wasn't sure just how long he'd been sleeping, but he was sure it was too long if the stiffness in his back was anything to go by. Castiel blinked, his face lighting up in surprise.

"Dean!"

"If you want to call it that." Dean winced when Castiel took him into his arms, the angel not aware of the pain in his back. Castiel pulled away, hastily, looking guilty.

"Sorry, are you sore? You were sleeping for twelve hours. I know you don't sleep more than four most nights." Castiel spoke softly. The angel was lying on his side, facing Dean. Twelve fucking—Everything slowly started coming back and Dean made to sit up, but Cas stopped him, carding his fingers through Dean's hair once more. "Relax. It's okay. You're okay."

"Cas, what happened? I remember almost dying and then you. . ." Dean blushed, suddenly unable to escape Castiel's probing gaze.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"I don't know a little bit. . ." Dean lied. He remembered that weird mind-meld thing Cas did and Cas saw just about _everything _and that was more than a little to be embarrassed about, since most of that was stuff Dean would never admit to _anyone_—Not even himself. He especially didn't like the fact that it felt _good. _Even more, he hated that he almost wanted to do it again.

Nope this was definitely one of those things Dean needed to repress and forget about if at all possible.

"I was afraid." Castiel started. Dean was thankful that he wasn't going to press the issue. The angel pulled Dean flush against him again, gentler this time, and buried his head in the crook of the hunter's neck. "More afraid than I've ever been in my entire existence." Dean bit his lip and held the angel back. Cas had been afraid. It must have been pretty serious if even the angel had his doubts.

Dean snorted, pushing down the bit of fear that rose up at the thought of what had almost happened. "You know I don't go down easy." Castiel looked troubled for a moment before he spoke again, his voice somber.

"It's my fault."

"What are you talking about?"

"Because I put us on a sex ban and everything went to hell." Dean laughed, patting Cas on the back.

"Cas, this ain't 'cause of the sex ban—"

"It _is _though." Cas pulled away to look at him in the eyes fiercely. "The Grace I was having a hard time controlling was the only thing keeping our baby alive, Dean." Dean looked at him, confused.

"What?"

"The baby needs external Grace and you don't have it so apparently I must provide it. If I don't, it will try to use what is there, resulting in what happened yesterday." Cas spent the next few minutes explaining it to Dean better and Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"So basically I'm a damn chicken and you're the rooster that fertilizes my egg." Castiel made a face.

"Fertilizing seems to be the accepted analogy." Dean buried his face in his hands. He shouldn't have been surprised. Angels needed Grace after all. Dean was human so he didn't have Grace, so there really was only one viable alternative. He looked up, Cas's face was so freakin' cute though—worried frown in his forehead and bright, shining blue eyes. Dean went back to the worried part of that description, forcing his mind to behave because now was probably not the time to be thinking of licking the worry off his face.

"What's the matter?"

"We're in danger, Dean."

"What do you mean?"

"My Grace was exposed for what must have been an entire hour. Sam gained access to the Grace network and had been tracking my Grace for days now. I don't know just how vigilant Sam was being about watching it, but I felt an external force touching my Grace while I was performing the transfer. It was most likely Sam. Gabriel hasn't gotten back to me yet about it." Dean felt a strong sense of doom in the pit of his stomach, but he buried it and tried to hide his fear.

"Sam will find us." It wasn't a question.

"Most likely. Maybe it would be safest to leave?" Dean shook his head.

"No, Cas. We can't just keep running. You heard Gabriel's speech too. Sam's going to find us no matter what. Eventually we'll have to face the music so maybe the quicker we get it over with the better. I'm not getting any less pregnant here." Dean patted his stomach and Cas put his hand over Deans, pressing their foreheads together. Dean could feel their breath mingling and he blushed, his heart fluttering in that stupid way again because it reminded him of the mind-sharing thing they did and the _warmth_. "Besides, we're in a good place right now. I'm willing to fight for it, you know?" Castiel linked their hands together, smiling.

"I do." He said lowly. "I like this house, too, Dean." They were comfortably silent for a few moments and Dean thought back to how they'd ended up like this, that fight they'd had. Instantly, guilt ran through his spine and he tensed. He remembered the hurt and anger in Castiel's voice and definitely, _definitely _Dean should have told Castiel what had been going on with him and Caroline.

"Cas, I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"For kissing that girl." He swallowed. "I may have wanted to make you jealous but I didn't want to take it that far. She figured it out and kissed me without my permission." Cas looked at him and Dean knew Cas would know he wasn't lying. The angel's face softened.

"You were trying to make me jealous? Why?" Dean buried his face in Castiel's chest again, refusing to look at him as he said it.

"Because you'd been ignoring me. You hadn't t-touched me in a week and. . . . Well, I don't know, I thought maybe you were over your crush on me or whatever."

"Crush?" Castiel thought for a moment. "That term is diminishing my feelings for you, Dean. I _love _you. It's not simply a crush."

"I _know_ but I mean like. . ." Dean gestured to his body, suddenly feeling really self-conscious about the small expanding of his belly. "I've never been fat before so I mean. . ." Castiel looked at him curiously.

"Dean what are you talking about?"

"Look I understand if this is kind of a turn off, and I don't expect you to want to-to _do_ stuff with me cause of it. It's weird enough to see a man pregnant but. . ." Cas looked at him like he grew a second head. Dean sat there, blushing.

"You think I'm not attracted to you and for _this _reason?" He gestured to Dean's stomach and looked honestly amused. Dean glared.

"It's not funny, Cas." Castiel smiled, kissing Dean softly before pulling back a fraction of an inch.

"Dean sometimes you can be really stupid."

"Hey shut up!" Dean said, affronted. Castiel started laughing. He put his hand on Dean's belly.

"_This," _He started, looking into Dean's eyes. "Is beautiful." His eyes were shining with honesty and it was so intense it made Dean uncomfortable.

"Seriously?"

"I've honestly never been more attracted to you, and the way you were behaving before. . . I feel like you've been seducing me." Dean rolled his eyes_. Well no fuckin' shit! _Truthfully, Dean was glad that his efforts hadn't gone _entirely_ unnoticed like he'd assumed. He was also glad that Cas didn't find him ugly in this—this state. There was that. Cas continued. "With all of this distraction, I couldn't focus on keeping us safe. Holding you, touching you, pleasuring you—It's all I ever think about." Soft fingers curled along Dean's cheek, stroking it gently. The hunter blushed, pulling away.

"I had no idea. You 'coulda _told _me that."

"I thought it was obvious. You should know I have the hardest time staying in control when it comes to you. The only thing that was keeping me together was making sure you and the baby were safe." Their eyes connected and they were content with just that for a few minutes. Dean swore there were magical properties to Cas's eyes. He grinned at a passing thought of how angry he'd been at the bar.

"You looked like you were about to smite that girl."

"I was very seriously considering it." Castiel said, grimly.

"You'd smite her just to defend my honor? I don't know. I might have to give that girl a call. She was pretty hot. . ." Cas glared, narrowing his eyes. Dean smirked, realizing he'd have material for weeks. Cas was definitely the jealous type and it'd be easy to wind him up now.

"That's not funny, Dean."

"Who said I was trying to be funny? I haven't had pussy in months; maybe I'm craving it a bit." He also hadn't had Cas's cock in his ass in a week—Something he was craving just a little more than pussy, but like _hell _was he going to let Cas know _that_. Suddenly Dean was pressed against the bed, an angry angel glaring down at him with fire in his blue eyes.

"That's a lie."

"Why is it? Sinking my dick into a nice wet pussy sounds great right now. Maybe I'll give Caroline a call, after all." Castiel spoke through gritted teeth.

"You don't even have her number, so obviously you're saying this just to provoke me." Dean smirked, playing with the lapels of Castiel's coat, their lips perhaps two millimeters away from each other.

"But girls have been a part of my dick for so many years now."

"I don't want to share you." Dean smirked, raising his eyebrows up at Castiel.

"Maybe you need to make me forget about pussy, then." He suggested.

"I will." Castiel said, earnestly.

"Oh really?"

"Yes. I'll make you forget what fucking a woman is like." Castiel ground their hips together, allowing Dean to feel just how hot Castiel was getting. Dean decided he definitely liked it when Cas used dirty words like that.

"I'd like to see you try." Castiel kissed him then, the moan on his lips doing all sorts of things to the hunter and Dean failed to resist his urge to make some noises of his own. Had it really gotten to this point? That just a _kiss _could have him moaning like a slut? He ground their hips together tightly, making Cas pant like a fucking _dog _against his neck. Cas's strong hands pinned his wrists above his head as he sucked dark hickeys into Dean's neck, biting and licking and driving Dean crazy.

Women couldn't do that.

Women wouldn't push him down (_most _women, anyways). They always wanted to be the receivers and have Dean set the pace. But Cas. . . Mmm Cas just man-handled him, held him so hard he bruised and just fucking _owned _Dean so thoroughly. It made his skin buzz in excitement and he couldn't wait to feel the angel's body under his clothes, his slim thighs between his legs and his hot dick in Dean's ass. He wasn't allowed to be this vulnerable to anybody else and he craved it. He loved just letting go and letting Castiel set the pace.

"It's been so long since I touched you, Dean. Your body is so eager for me." Dean bit his lip, his cheeks burning scarlet in embarrassment because, yes. Fucking _yes _he was eager.

"Then maybe you should just get on with it already?" Dean felt like he'd been waiting a thousand years for this moment. He could feel those eyes on him, drinking in his body and probably enjoying just how red Cas could make him.

"We have to wait until we hear back from Gabriel. . ." Dean groaned, pressing his already hard dick against Castiel's.

"But look at what you did to me. . ." Dean could see the heat behind Cas's eyes and the mischievous little smirk playing at his pink lips and Dean grit his teeth at the arousal pooling in his belly from just the sight. _Damn,_ this angel was sexy. Damn _Dean_ for wanting him so badly, too, but he just couldn't help it!

"That isn't to say I can't make you feel good, Dean." Cas pressed their lips together again sensuously and Dean savored every lick and twist of Cas's too skilled tongue. Seriously the man was becoming too good at this kissing/sex stuff in a way too short amount of time. He was already learning every way to drag a sultry moan from Dean's throat, to make his hips stutter in anticipation. He knew just how to take Dean's breath away and Dean wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Cas pulled away, his mouth quickly finding Dean's throat and proceeding to suck and lick and bite little moans out of it. Dean was too hot. It'd been too long since he got off and he was desperate. Cas was showing him no mercy right now as he sucked bruises into his neck and shoulders and he was secretly pleased beyond rational thought by this. Cas was marking him and that was. . .

Well that was just fucking fine with Dean, goddammit.

"Cassss. . ." Dean whined, wrapping his legs around Cas's back when the angel moved down to his chest and started licking and sucking his oversensitive nipples. "Shit! Fuckk. . . Cas wait it's too much. . ." Had his nipples always been that sensitive?

"Is this better?" Cas looked at him and Dean licked his lips at the lust in his eyes as he sucked on Dean's left nipple softly, his teeth scraping and biting gingerly and it was driving Dean crazy. Dean moaned low in his throat, feeling a fierce storm building low in his stomach. He took it back. Cas could suck his nipples any day of the week, for fuck's sake.

"Shit, Cas. . ."

"Do your nipples usually get you this aroused, Dean?" Cas said, tugging at one and making Dean's back arch involuntarily.

"N-No. I don't fucking get it. . ."

"Maybe it's because you're pregnant. . . "Cas started sucking again, flatting his tongue against one and roughly licking it and making Dean so hot, the hunter thought he might combust. He gently bit and sucked at it and the heat was pooling down so quickly Dean was almost dizzy.

Cas laved his tongue on the slightly abused bud before giving the same attention to the other one. Dean's pants were starting to feel way too tight and for one horrifying moment, Dean wondered if he was going to lose it just getting his nipples sucked.

"Cas, stop messing around. . ."

"But I like sucking your nipples." Dean rolled his eyes.

"I understand that, but I'm dying here and if we aren't getting off then I seriously think you should stop. I don't know about angels and blue-balls but it really sucks for humans. . ."

"I already told you I was going to make you feel good Dean. Have a little patience." Dean groaned in frustration. Patience was never his strongest virtue, but Cas just promised he was going to take care of him, right? He'd already waited a week; he could wait a little longer.

Dean was especially interested in the way Cas's lips started moving south, that sinful tongue licking every inch of his belly it could find. He kissed it tenderly and Dean blushed, still feeling self-conscious of the slight swell there, but Cas didn't seem to mind. He seemed to fucking worship it and Dean bit his lip, wanting to shut his eyes tightly but at the same time _needing _to watch his every move.

"Cas what are you doing?"

"Something I think you'll like." Cas's hand started to rub the quickly growing bulge in Dean's pants as his mouth trailed down the sensitive skin of his stomach, licking and sucking the whole way, pausing to dip his tongue into Dean's belly button and just _licking _and fuckkk. This shouldn't have been so hot. Dean moaned and rolled his hips against that insistent hand, more than ready to get rid of his jeans at this point.

He wasn't expecting Cas to start mouthing his clothed erection, sucking and licking at the denim in the most suggestive fucking way. Dean felt his breath fall short and stuttered moans were erupting from his throat.

"C-Cas. . ." He rasped, heat spreading to his chest because Cas's _mouth_ for fuck's sake. Cas moaned around his cock still hidden by his jeans. Dean bit his lip, unable to tear his eyes away from what the angel was doing.

"You're already so hard, Dean. I haven't even touched you yet." Cas inched Dean's zipper down and Dean panted, his eyes burning into Castiel's and he suddenly was taken over by that overwhelming sense of _want _that he'd felt with Cas before.

"What are you going to do about that?" He said, playfully but still nervous. He kicked off his jeans and spread his legs, not taking his eyes off of Cas as he licked his lips. Those eyes were trying to devour him, he fucking knew it.

"I think I want to taste you. . ." Dean panted, his cock jerking at the prospect because yes, yes and _yes_! Cas brought his mouth to Dean's erection, the only thing separating his lips from cock were the thin fabric of his boxers. Dean blushed, sitting up because holy fucking _shit._

"You're not gonna. . . Are you seriously going to. . .?" The tongue that started laving over the head of his dick through his boxers was all the answer he got. Dean would never admit to crying out and bucking up into the firm press of Cas's tongue, hot and wet and perfect, but he probably did. Dean ground his teeth when he felt Cas just start _sucking_ and then pulling off, his eyes hazed over with lust. Dean bit his lip and forced his body to calm down because this was _Cas_. He was an angel and Dean was a fucking pervert for enjoying this so much.

"Look. . . Cas you don't have to do that. I'm fine—" Dean let out a not-so-manly gasp when Cas squeezed his dick tightly.

"This is not fine. Dean, I want to do this for you. . . I-I've been thinking about it. I saw a video once on the computer and this was done and I. . . I keep thinking about doing it to you." _He's been fantasizing about sucking your cock! _

"You were watching porn?" Dean liked to imagine that Cas's face turned slightly pink at the accusation.

"I-I didn't mean to. I was searching for a recipe on sausages and it just popped up in the results. It said, very deceptively mind you, _'How to prepare a big sausage'" _Dean broke into peals of laughter and Cas looked mildly annoyed. "I don't find the humor in this, Dean."

"Oh my God. . .Sausages! Sometimes, Cas you are so. . ." What? Cute? Yes. . . Definitely cute. Dean wiped a tear from his eyes and pulled Cas up for a kiss before pulling back a fraction to speak softly. "So, you wanna suck my cock, huh?" He watched Cas's eyes darken and his face turn hungry.

"Yes. . ." Dean smirked, his confidence level soaring because Cas looked fucking delicious all self-conscious and utterly aroused at the situation at hand.

"You want to wrap your lips around it and lick every inch?" Cas moaned, his hips rolling into Dean and it was fucking sexy as hell. He might have felt a little power trip at how easily his dirty talk affected the angel.

"I-Is that what you want me to do?" Dean's voice was thick with lust when he answered.

"Yeah. I really want to feel that. . ."

"O-Okay."

Cas had moved down again, his hands plastered to Dean's thighs, massaging higher and higher, as he looked at Dean curiously.

"I don't know what I'm doing." He admitted, flustered. Dean smiled gently at him and sat up to run his fingers through Cas's hair gently.

"Just do what you want to do. I'm giving you a free pass to explore my penis. Let me know if it's fun or not, okay?" Cas swallowed thickly and lowered himself so that he was more level with Dean's groin-al. . . Area. Dean really needed to expand his vocabulary.

He was still wearing boxers and he idly wondered when Cas would take them off. He was still hard from the playful licking before and Cas's eyes couldn't seem to not notice. Slowly he pulled down Dean's boxers and watched it catch on the elastic band, his breath hitching just the slightest when it popped out and Dean grinned. Cas always seemed like a natural when it came to sex, but this was what brought him back to the fact that Cas was really inexperienced when it came to this stuff. Castiel barely had any experience with his _own _penis, let alone another one.

After the boxers were kicked away, Cas stared down Dean's penis as though he were having some sort of awkward mental battle with it and Dean laughed, Imagining Cas trying to read it's mind or something equally dorky.

"You can't intimidate it into doing what you want it to do, Cas. It responds much better to touch." Cas looked up at Dean, biting his lip adorably and a pink flush stained his pale cheeks.

"I know that. . ."

"It doesn't bite." Dean taunted.

"I am _aware_, Dean." Castiel huffed in irritation. Dean licked his lips, deciding that maybe a little preening would help Cas shift into gear. He spread his legs widely enough for it to be considered lewd and propped his torso up on his elbows, parting his lips slightly as he looked up at Cas through his eyelashes. It was at that moment that his cock chose to twitch, a bud of precum forming at the tip and dripping down in a downright filthy manner. Dean blushed when Cas licked his lips. He could see the rise and fall of Cas's chest get faster with each passing second.

"Cas? I'm dying here. . ." His voice was rough and way hotter than he'd intended it to be. Cas looked up at him, eyes almost black with arousal, never breaking contact as he lowered his body, taking Dean's cock in hand.

Cas's tongue parted his lips and he never broke his gaze as he pressed it to the tip of Dean's cock, licking up the bead of precum there. Dean sucked in a breath, not expecting that so suddenly. Cas moaned softly as he licked and Dean was suddenly worried about how hot he was getting so quickly. Would he even last five minutes of just Cas's tongue on him? He hadn't even sucked him yet. . .

"Jesus. . . Warn a guy." Dean breathed, his fists clutching the sheets as Cas continued clumsily caressing his dick with his tongue. Dean wondered briefly what it would taste like and his cheeks heated up at the thought of licking Cas's dick like that. . . Wrapping his lips around it and he groaned. Dean didn't know if it was out of embarrassment or arousal at that point and he decided that now wasn't the time to think, because Cas's tongue was running deliciously up and down the underside, pausing to lick into the sensitive slit before repeating and it was driving him fucking _crazy_. Dean groaned.

"Does it feel good?" Cas inquired, looking honestly worried. As if there was such a thing as a _bad_ cock-licking.

"Shit. . . Yeah that's nice, maybe use a bit more tongue. . ." Castiel's tongue rubbed nicely at every vein and ridge and dragged slow in all the right spots (and the wrong spots). He was pulling moans from Dean he didn't even realize he could produce. Dean's hips were involuntarily rolling up to meet Cas's tongue now. Just being licked wasn't nearly enough, but he'd told Cas he could do what he wanted and he wasn't going to take that back. Cas's hands were rubbing him firmly at the base now and Dean hadn't even told him to do that. "Mmm Cas, yeah that's awesome. . ." Cas was pressing hot, wet kisses to the tip now, the kind of kisses that lingered and sucked and shit this was amazing. He just wished Cas would move _on _already and start sucking properly.

Seemed he didn't have to wait long for that, though.

Eventually Cas pressed the soft tip of Dean's cock between his soft lips and sucked on it. It looked so dirty since Dean _knew _Cas was an angel, inexperienced and putting a dick in his mouth. He couldn't stop the moan coming from his lips at that thought. He vaguely remembered telling Cas to watch the teeth before he threw his head back because it was all too much and Cas was taking him down inch by inch so very slowly. It was driving Dean nuts.

"Come on. . . Suck me already. . . "Cas complied, his fingers digging bruises into Dean's thighs as his head started moving up and down but he didn't care. All he knew were the vibrations of Cas's deep moans around his cock and the tongue licking just _everywhere _and the sucking and hot and wet and _fuck_. Dean was barely able to string words together between his moans. "Shit! Faster now, yeah. . . Mmm yeah Just like that." He couldn't stop from tangling his fingers tightly into that dark hair or fucking up into that hot mouth and Cas just took it because apparently he didn't have a gag reflex or a need for breathing. He was just sucking and licking and taking Dean so fucking _deep_ and the hunter didn't even know English anymore. It was like his cock was caught in a hot, wet vacuum because Cas didn't really know what else to do but it felt fucking awesome anyways. Then Cas swallowed, his throat muscles wrapping around his dick tightly and Dean saw stars.

He was going to come. Not even ten minutes and he was about to lose it.

"C-_Cas! Stop I'm—" _Dean let out a wrecked moan when he felt himself spurting hotly into the back of Cas's throat and he just took it _all. _Cas was swallowing it like a fucking porn star and Dean's body was wracked with spasms and he couldn't even see anything, his orgasm was so intense. Cas, bless him, sucked out every last drop and Dean watched through hooded eyes, eyelids too droopy to open properly. He lay there on his back panting when Cas crawled up to lie next to him, gently rubbing his chest.

"Did I do okay?" He asked, uncertainly, wiping a lewd trail of come dripping off his lips. Dean looked at him for a moment before barking a dry laugh, rubbing his eyes into the palms of his hands.

"Were you a nymphomaniac in another life, or something?"

"Angels don't have other lives, Dean, and I'm certain my soul wouldn't readily choose to become a nymphomaniac if it had the option." Dean snorted and turned heavily to his side, allowing himself to curl up into Castiel's warmth. Cas wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer.

"Yeah you were good. I've never come so fast from a blow job in my life so there's that. . ." Cas tensed in the way that Dean had come to learn to know meant he was pleased.

"I'm glad I could make you feel good."

"What was it like?" Dean asked, his voice nervous because he wasn't sure how to broach the subject of jizz swallowing. It sent shivers of disgust up his spine at the thought of doing it himself. He'd never actually _tasted _his own cum but he was sure he didn't want to and he felt a spot of remorse for those girls he'd been with who'd had the balls to do it. "You know when you swallowed it. . . You didn't have to do that, you know."

"I didn't? But the adult video made it clear that that it was customary to swallow everything."

"Maybe in the porn world, but normal people don't usually expect that." Castiel leant in for a kiss but Dean pushed him away, making a scrunched up face. "You're gonna have to brush your teeth before kissing me again."

"Why?" Castiel asked, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

"I don't wanna taste my spunk in your mouth. That's gross." Dean shivered in disgust and Cas studied him curiously.

"There was nothing unpleasant about it, Dean. It was very arousing—" Cas's eyes glazed over a moment before his face flushed bright red, his jaw going slack. Dean raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"N-Nothing." Dean caught Castiel's jaw between his thumb and forefinger and forced the angel to look at him.

"Castiel, what did I say about lying to me?" Dean put a stern look on his face, making Castiel blush harder before he looked away.

"J-Just when you mentioned tasting your own. . . E-ejaculate I. . ." Castiel breathed harder and his eyes grew darker and Dean blinked a moment before it registered properly. _Oh. . ._

"You think me tasting my own spooge would be hot?! Cas you fucking 'perv!" Dean looked down and could see the straining erection in Cas's pants. "Wow you really think it's that sexy?" Castiel looked uncomfortable for a moment before speaking again.

"It's definitely exciting me sexually whether I will it to or not." Dean looked pitifully at the painful erection in Cas's pants before looking back up, ignoring the heat staining his own cheeks. The hunter's hand reached down and pressed firmly against it, finding the shape and rubbing it. Castiel pushed his hand away.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm fine." Dean frowned.

"It looks painful and I feel guilty being the only one getting off here."

"Then I guess after Gabriel gives us the word, you'll have to make it up to me, somehow." Castiel's eyes burned with want and Dean wondered idly how Castiel became so sexual. . . Not that he was complaining.

"And how can I make it up to you?" Dean said, innocently. Cas growled, fucking _growled_ against Dean's neck before sucking at his Adam's apple. Dean chuckled, pushing him away. "What kind of answer is that?"

"Dean. . ."

"Tell me what you want, Cas" Dean said, playfully. Cas pressed him back into the bed, his hips sliding between the Winchester's legs and grinding into Dean firmly. Cas gripped his ass firmly and pulled Dean up to meet his thrusts, not that he needed to. Dean was already eagerly meeting them himself and damn it if he wasn't already getting hard again. Dean leant in, letting his lips ghost Cas's ear before he spoke in barely over a whisper.

"You wanna fuck me, Cas?"

Cas's answer was hardly English. More like a garbled cry. It sounded wrecked and needy and Dean decided Cas sounded good like that. Dean paused for a moment before whispering again in his ear.

"I'm gonna let you, you know? I'll even go on my hands and knees and let you do whatever you want." Cas let out a muffled cry against Dean's neck.

"D-Dean—" Dean continued his litany of filth in Cas's ear, licking it every now and then and making Cas shiver.

"You can fuck me slow or fast, hard enough to give me a limp for a week. I don't even care. . ." Even Dean felt shivers up his spine at his own words. All he knew was he wanted to be fucked and he wanted it now and fucking Cas was here and hard and ready and shit. Dean's cock was already throbbing thinking about it.

"Dean... We have to cease this salacious conversation because the amount of control I have right now is very limited."

"You want it that badly, Cas?" Dean said, pressing hot kisses down the angel's neck, the nerdy words only turning him on even more. Cas only groaned in response, his hips working in tandem with Dean's and it felt fucking _awesome_.

"Oh my dad. Seriously, you guys couldn't last two freakin' minutes?" That was the ever-telling condescending voice of Gabriel if Dean'd ever heard it. Gabriel was leaning against the wall on the right side of the bed behind Dean and yep, he was pretty sure his heart leapt out of his throat right then.

"It was hardly two minutes. . ." Cas whined against a very frozen Dean's throat. He unfroze quickly and whipped around, more than a little enraged.

"W-What the ever-loving _fuck, _Gabriel?!" Dean scrambled to cover himself (and his renewed hard-on) with a pillow. "How do you even _get _in here with all the angel wards and stuff?!"

"Only Gabriel has permission to enter via Grace." Dean glared at Cas and the angel winced because he had to have known that admitting that would be a big fucking mistake. _Jesus. _And Gabriel had the fucking _nerve _to look smug about this!

"Nice to see you lively again, Winchester—Even if you _are_ debauching my little brother. . ." Dean stood up, right fist balled tightly and pillow pressed firmly against his front and he didn't care if he looked ridiculous because he was going to punch this dick into next Tuesday. (he was still sore about that who Tuesday debacle)

"Yeah about that—Might have been nice to know about the Grace thing _before _it came to me passing out in the middle of the _street_."

"Maybe if you were nicer to me I would have told you sooner," Gabriel smirked. Dean sneered and Cas stood up, refereeing between them because Dean had just about enough of Gabriel's shit.

"What do you want, Gabriel?" Dean ground out, trying to reign in his anger as he hastily found and pulled on his pants while Cas blocked him from sight.

"I just wanted to tell you that Sam definitely knows where you guys are and it's up to you when you want to high-tail it out of here."

"We're staying." Dean said, firmly. Gabriel rolled his eyes and looked at Cas, crossing his arms.

"Castiel, Dean is trying to make decisions again."

"He's correct." Gabriel looked at him blankly.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I don't kid, Gabriel. Sam will probably end up finding us eventually and there is no way I can hide my Grace from him effectively anymore. Even if he does find us, I will not allow him to hurt Dean. You know that. Dean will only become more vulnerable as time moves on." Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"I doubt he wants to hurt Dean _or _the baby. The problem is when Dean pops, Sam is going to be all over that like Dean on pie, or Castiel. . . Or maybe Castiel on Dean on pie." Cas gave Gabriel a look like _'Really, Gabriel?'_ and Gabriel shrugged. Dean threw his hand up in exasperation as Castiel spoke.

"We still have a while before that happens."

"But he'll have won you over by then." Gabriel reasoned, certain as the sky is blue. Dean scoffed.

"Of course we'll be on our guard, Gabriel. I'm not going to let Sam _or _Lucifer yank my chain. When push comes to shove, I'll know what I have to do." Dean thought darkly that he hoped it wouldn't come to it, but he would do what was necessary to protect his kid and damn it, he just hoped Sam would snap out of it before then.

"Well I sure the hell hope so." Dean scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Wouldn't want your dad's little project going south, huh?" Gabriel actually looked angry at that and Dean raised a brow.

"No, Dean. You're _family _now and I'll do what I have to do to protect you and my little neice or nephew there." Dean didn't know what should make him more horrified, the fact that Gabriel was swearing his loyalty to him or that he just implied that they were basically _related _now.

Cas chuckled to himself and both of the other men in the room looked at him.

"What's so funny?" Dean demanded.

"Well, aside from Gabriel calling you family, I imagined our child calling him Uncle Gabe. It was an amusing thought." Dean grimaced, definitely not finding that amusing at all. Gabriel smirked.

"I kind of like that! Uncle Gabe." He echoed, grinning. "It has a nice ring to it, right?"

Dean gagged and Gabriel grinned and chose that moment to pop out of existence. Dean slumped down on the bed, trying not to think of his kid calling that dick his (or her) 'uncle'.

_Even though technically he will be!_

Seriously shut the fuck up!

There would never be a kid with more uncles than his:

_Uncle Gabriel, Uncle Sam, Uncle Balthazar, Uncle Zachariah, Uncle Uriel, Uncle Raphael, Uncle Michael, Uncle Lucifer. . ._

"Jesus fucking—" Dean threw himself back, groaning and Cas looked on at Dean's theatrics with concern. "Uncle Lucifer. . . My kid's uncle is _Satan, _Cas!" Dean said in an accusatory manner. Cas looked mildly uncomfortable. "Christmas dinner is going to be, literally, hell." The angel shrugged, sidling up next to Dean on the couch.

"If it makes you feel better, I doubt Father would want to have Christmas at Lucifer's." Dean laughed, ruffling Cas's hair affectionately, forgetting to be angry at him for giving Gabriel free reign. Eventually he sighed and laid his head on Cas's shoulder. They lay there in silence, Dean's thoughts changing from stormy to tranquil because he knew that there was no benefit in stressing out right now. Whatever happened was going to happen and he and Cas would have to take it as it came.

"Even with all the peeing and vomiting and cravings and shit, I still forget sometimes that I'm a man with a baby growing inside of him."

"I suppose it's difficult for your head to wrap around the idea, what with male pregnancy being impossible until recently." Cas smirked. "You're the proverbial eighth wonder of the world." Dean snorted and they fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Dean couldn't help but think back to what Gabriel had said before they went out last night.

"It's a boy or a girl. . ."

"Yes, there are only two human genders the last time I checked," Cas said, expression completely serious. Dean smacked Cas upside the head for good measure anyways and looked up, meeting Cas's slightly irritated eyes.

"Smartass. I mean like, It already has a gender. This thing inside of me could either be a boy or a girl, you know?" Cas opened his mouth, probably to declare that the significance is lost on him but then he paused, looking thoughtfully before closing his mouth, looking like he just got it.

"Yes, that is considerably alarming when you say it that way." His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Our son or daughter. . ." Dean bit his lip, avoiding Castiel's eyes. That's right. Dean was a dad now—or rather he _would_ be. He'd already decided he was keeping the baby so it was definitely going to happen now. Cas looked at him curiously. "Do you want to know the gender?"

"No." Dean didn't even have to think about it. He knew that if he knew the gender, it would feel so much more real than he was ready for it to be.

He studied Cas's face, trying to read the emotion there but it was difficult. He looked complacent at best, but Dean knew there was a shit-storm of emotions raging through his oversized brain that he didn't know how to express.

"Hey," Dean said, softer this time. Cas looked at him. "What do _you_ think about it? Do you want to know? It's your kid too," Dean admitted, swallowing the lump in his throat that the words had formed.

"I know that, be it a girl or a boy, I will love it the same amount either way. There is no real reason to know the gender. It doesn't matter." There was no uncertainty in those blue eyes. Dean smiled and, if you didn't know any better, he might have pressed a bit closer to Cas.

"Then a surprise it is. Here's to awkward Christmases!" Dean proclaimed, pumping up his fist in resignation. Cas's lips quirked up slightly before he leaned in and kissed Dean softly. Dean was caught off-guard, still not quite used to these non-sexual kisses, before he relaxed into Cas's mouth. By then, the fact that Cas still hadn't brushed his teeth was the farthest thing from his mind. Cas pulled back, looking warmly into Dean's eyes and the hunter smiled. His mind fast forwarded to how Cas would be once the baby was born; Protective, loving, doting. He would definitely be the best father.

In that moment, Dean wanted so badly to have this kid grow up with Castiel that it hurt. If Dean had died back there, then he wouldn't get to experience that with Cas and they both would never even _know _their kid. At odds as it was with anything and everything he'd ever known, Dean was certain now that he wanted this more than anything. This was his chance at a new start in his life and he had the opportunity to do it with one of the greatest people he'd ever known. Just how close had he been to losing it?

The feeling that overtook Dean suddenly was overwhelming and he was horrified when he felt his eyes start to burn with tears. Castiel looked suddenly concerned and Dean looked away as fast as he could.

Great, the fucking _hormones _have shown up to the party.

"Dean? Dean what's wrong?" Dean frantically wiped his eyes of the tears that fell regardless of what he'd told them to do. He discreetly wiped his face but he knew that Cas had seen him start to cry. He wouldn't mention it because he couldn't very well tell Cas that he was suddenly being suffocated by _paternal sentiment_.

"Nothing—Shit. Let's go make quesadillas." He couldn't think about this right now, or he might end up making a decision he'd definitely not had enough time to think about yet.

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Please leave a review! ::rainbows and unicorns all over your bodies::


	12. Crazy Little Thing

Seeing in Black  
>TGyamiBakura<br>Chapter 12: Crazy Little Thing

Thank you all again so much for your love and involvement with this story. I have really great readers and you help me so much you have no idea XD

This was originally part of the next chapter but I had to break it up, so i'm sorry for the lack of smut in this one but I promise it will be worth the wait for the next chapter :P

Note: **PLEASE SEE IMPORTANT POLL DETAILS AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

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As the sun rose upon a cool, late-spring morning, Dean Winchester could be found sitting in a small clearing of forest, his head bowed as he breathed deeply through his nose. The only noise in the forest was the chirping of birds and waking insects around him. The dew shimmered in the gleaming light of the new sun and the only thing disturbing the peace was the storm brewing inside of the man's head.

Dean had requested complete and utter solitude and he was grateful that Castiel didn't question it, for what he had to do this early morning was definitely a delicate issue:

He was thinking.

More precisely, thinking about things he refused to think about.

The numerous things he had sworn to the dark recesses of his mind were steadily growing into something unmanageable and he'd already known he'd never get away with _not _thinking about them. The things he shoved back there to collect dust always seemed to come back and bite him in the ass and, as it became clear that his decisions regarding these matters no longer only affected him, Dean was forced to be a grown up about it and bring the matters to the forefront of his mind. They were steadily becoming real and, just like all other instances in the past, inaction would bring more harm than good. He wasn't the most intelligent of the Winchesters, but Dean could learn from his mistakes.

The time of ignorant bliss was over and he had to take some responsibility.

Dean listened to the first waking sounds of morning-bird songs and he suspected it was only around 6 am. Castiel would be awake—Well, he was _always_ awake unless Dean specifically told him not to be. Castiel swore he didn't need something as tedious as naps but Dean knew better than that.

To the outside person, it would appear that Castiel never tired, but living with him 24 hours a day had taught Dean a few things about his resident angel.

Castiel needlessly stressed himself out about _everything_. From the meaning of existence to the merits of vegetable oil versus olive oil; Cas would ponder about it endlessly.

If he thought too much about these things, he would eventually close off and Dean would notice him staring off into space whilst his mind plummeted into the chaotic mess that was Castiel's psyche. Dean had walked in on him pouring a cup of coffee and letting it overflow resulting in the angel nearly take his skin off. Dean had yelled at him then and told him he needed to turn his pain receptors on if he was going to be such a space case. It was either that, or get some proper sleep every now and then. Dean discovered that if Castiel slept at least a few hours every few days, none of that happened. It wasn't that Cas's body was _physically _tired, but he would just think himself into oblivion sometimes and forget about real life. Sleep seemed to offset that—Like rebooting a computer and dumping away all shit that kept building up.

This brought Dean to one of the things he was supposed to be thinking about this morning.

Boredom.

Castiel and Dean were very clean people and most of the cleaning of the ancient house had been finished within the first week, the rest of it during the second one. They were on their third week in this house and Dean was quickly finding out that he could only handle so many hours of Law and Order SVU before he started going crazy. He wasn't alone. The reason why Castiel thought so much was that he literally had nothing else to do. He would watch television with Dean, learn some of his favorite computer games, but Dean discovered that mindless entertainment wasn't really high on Castiel's interest list. Dean could only handle so much of it too.

Nah, he and Cas were definitely not kept housewives.

They needed to _do something_. They couldn't be left to their thoughts because, as much as Dean knew he needed to think about important things, there were some things that he literally _couldn't_ think about or it would consume and destroy him and that was definitely not something he could afford right now. Forty years in hell wasn't simply worked out by thinking or talking it out. It was something he would have to live with. Thankfully, sleeping with Cas seemed to keep the nightmares at bay, so that was progress in his mind.

Dean knew that Cas couldn't be left to his thoughts either, because the angel still held so much guilt over how he'd been after consuming leviathan; How he tore apart his brothers and sisters and betrayed Dean. There would be some days when Cas would simply stare out the window for hours and literally not see _anything_. It was different from his usual spacey-ness because Cas would get this sad little wrinkle in his forehead that signified that he was troubled in the deepest sense. Dean didn't need to ask to know what he was thinking about then, because his behavior was usually preceded by an offhand, self-degrading comment about how he'd messed up on cooking or something and how he'd already failed Dean before, he didn't like doing it again.

Dean would scold him then, tell him that it was water under the bridge and they had to move past that. Obviously it didn't do much good.

They needed a job to focus on or they would both go crazy. If Dean couldn't hunt, then he needed to do something else. And thankfully, hunting wasn't the only thing Dean was good at. He was definitely more than capable at fixing cars and it seemed like this town was short of good mechanics. Castiel wasn't a problem either because the guy had a mental capacity of a freakin' university. He could learn any trade and excel in it, so that wasn't really the problem.

The problem? Getting a job here meant putting down roots.

Putting down roots meant that this place would inevitably become his _home. _Dean hated calling places _home_ because, for some reason, the universe was out to destroy anything that belonged to him, anything that he dared to get comfortable with, anything he _loved, _and Cas had been a part of his and Sam's family since the apocalypse. Castiel was dear to him and his relationship with him was clearly no longer platonic. Dean had already decided that Castiel was at least as important to him as Sam, now, which wasn't a good thing. It seemed that everybody he ever loved died or got hurt some way. Everybody he formed relationships with. . .

This brought to the next problem he had to think about.

A relationship? Was that what this was? No. . . They hadn't talked about it so it couldn't be.

But what _were _they, actually?

Cas has made his intentions clear and the ball was now in Dean's court. Just how long could Dean go on avoiding the giant elephant in the room. How could the hunter stuff away his pride long enough to say what needed to be said? What _was _it that needed to be said?

Dean had been careful not to indicate in the slightest that he wanted them to become more. A couple. _Boyfriends. _Unfortunately, Dean was certain that the only thing stopping them from being just that was his determination not to declare it as such. Dean hadn't said anything to Cas about actually making this real (unless you count the hopeless ramblings of a dying man that never actually happened) and Castiel seemed fine with just taking what he could get. So, for now, their relationship was this weird, misshapen blob of goo that only took form when having sex or in very Notebook-y situations. It was lodged deep within limbo between friends and lovers and Dean didn't know where he wanted to go with it.

He knew they couldn't just be friends like before. Cas had made it clear that he didn't want that and Dean would feel like an ass if he tried to go back there now. He didn't really want to be just friends anyways. The sex was awesome and Cas was. . .

Dean bit his lip, his face heating up and that warmth in his chest started growing at the memory of what transpired when Castiel saved his life. The thoughts they'd shared, the feelings and the _closeness. _It had been like their minds were made to fit together like that and it was intoxicating—Dean had felt so _complete_. The thing that scared the hunter the most was that saying that sounded like he was admitting he could be with Cas and only Cas forever.

Did Dean want to take the dive head first into the binding sea of commitment?

Dean felt the warmth in his chest grow to his neck and face. Was he really even considering that? Cas was distinctly _male,_ angel or not. He couldn't even settle down with girls let alone _guys. _Almost 20 years of tits didn't just go away. Just because he had a little bit of rainbow grass growing on the other side of the fence didn't necessarily mean he was any less into lovin' and leavin' girls than he was four weeks ago. What was to say he wouldn't start wanting to have sex with girls again in a month or even a few weeks?

The problem was Cas. The angel hadn't taken too kindly to watching Dean kiss another girl and the hunter really didn't know what to do about that. . . There really was no reason for him to go searching for another girl to sleep with anyways because to be perfectly honest he was fine just being with Cas. What would be the point of upsetting the angel again? He _knew _Cas had feelings for him and he'd studiously ignored that bit and continued being physical with him, regardless. So it was his own fault that he'd gotten in this deep. The _last_ thing he wanted to do was to lead the guy on. There wasn't any easy way to separate himself from Cas now and he was in trouble. If he were to fuck another girl right now, it would just hurt the angel and Dean really didn't want to do that.

Besides. . . They kind of had this future with this kid-thing. . . Dean really wanted Cas to be a part of that.

As much as Dean was afraid of getting closer to Castiel, he was more afraid of his kid growing up and not knowing his awesome dad. Yeah that was definitely more important than being the playboy he'd always been. Perhaps he needed to do some growing up and, well, being with Cas exclusively? Maybe that would be a good start.

It was only terrifying for Dean because it was so easy to see himself devoting his life to being with Cas. Hell it was already established that Dean kind of wanted that—He'd said so in that damn dream world. The problem was that nothing good in his life ever seemed to work out. He was sure it was going to blow up in his face somehow, but this was something he couldn't really negotiate on. His. . . _their_ kid kind of depended on this and Dean would be damned if his kid wanted for _anything_. Dean would make this work, and if that meant throwing away his pride and everything Dean had ever known, he would do it.

And it wasn't like he _didn't _feel anything for Cas.

That brought Dean to the biggest problem of all.

Dean tangled his fingers in the dew-soaked grass and a squirrel scurried past him, completely unaware of all the problems in the world. The hunter's eyes shimmered jade in the sunlight, filtered by hundreds of leaves in the canopy of the forest. He looked unseeing as he allowed his mind open enough to break the flood of emotions he'd had locked away for longer than he could remember.

All at once, his very core was shaken by the onslaught of _feelings_. He let out a shaky breath and suddenly it felt like a weight from his ever-growing stomach was mirrored on his back and he could barely hold upright. He jerked forward onto his knees and braced himself on the ground panting in fear because when had it become like _this_? Had it always been this intense? This feeling that seemed to play home to every other feeling in the book. Happiness bred home to sorrow, Bravery complimented fear. Peace was distorted by chaos.

And hatred?

Hatred was a consequence of. . .

Right now, he hated Sam so much. He hated that he couldn't trust his own brother, hated that Sam was so vulnerable to Lucifer.

Dean hated that he'd let himself be so vulnerable in that mind-link with Cas.

Dean closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath as it felt like his heart was about to burst. Just that Dean was even _thinking _about applying this feeling in any other way than the most strictest familial sense was completely ridiculous. He couldn't. He absolutely positively couldn't have let it get this far. This was something he'd never felt before about _anybody_—Never _let _himself feel about anybody,but whenever Dean thought about it, only one face came to his mind:

Dark hair, blue eyes and a wrinkled trench coat.

The feeling _burned_. It consumed him and Dean felt as though the world decided to swallow him up in a pit of flames. Only the flames didn't hurt like the ones in hell did. These flames felt almost liberating—Burning him and forging something new, something _exciting._ Dean wouldn't be fooled though. He knew what this was. There was a good reason why he never felt this way about anyone. If it was anything like what he felt for his family—Sam, John, Mary, then it wasn't worth the effort.

Dean would feel great and he would get comfortable, maybe even let himself be happy. He would be so happy and then something in his already fucked up life would come and snatch it all away. Oh, Dean knew all about this feeling, only this time it would be so much worse.

This was just another way to make the hunter more vulnerable than he already was. It was so much and it was so familiar to everything that had ever hurt him in his life because he'd lost so many people and they had meant so _much_. This beautiful feeling was tainted so deeply by misery that Dean didn't know if he'd be able to recover enough to feel it again without being torn apart.

He took one look around and shut off that feeling instantly, the other ones still wreaking havoc but not nearly as turbulent as before.

The warm, spring morning was frigid now and Dean could see the dew that had been on the grass was turned to frost. It reminded him all too well of the time in fairytale land when he'd frozen the wedding chapel. This was the work of an angel's Grace. His baby's Grace.

His emotions had been terrifyingly chaotic then as well and he hadn't had any hope of controlling it. He knew now why it had happened and Dean couldn't let that happen again. There were just too many lives at stake.

He sucked in a deep breath and threw all of his concentration into the mojo around him. If he could do this, that meant it could be controlled and damn it, if he was going to be stuck with freaky angel powers he might as well learn how to use them.

The power had originated from the feelings he'd unleashed and if he could just reign them in a little, he might be able to manipulate it. The tension fell away from his upper body and he managed to cool his thoughts a bit, instead focusing on the way the emotions fed the power coursing through him. It reminded Dean of a tightly coiled rope and if he could just give it a little slack. . .

The air became a little warmer.

Tightening it more than it already was formed more frost that crept up his shoes. It was pretty awesome, but he felt very exposed doing this and Dean wasn't sure he was comfortable with it. He was also feeling a little lightheaded and that probably wasn't a good sign.

He felt, rather than heard the bushes rustling behind him and his head snapped around. Somebody was there. Somebody was _watching _him with eerie eyes.

Yellow eyes.

Dean's eyes connected with the glowing yellow eyes in the depths of the forest. Instantly he was brought back to the time that they spent chasing that bastard demon that took his mother away. A defensive fist curled at his side as he held the gaze—of what? He had no clue. It was a boy, looking about nine or ten years old, seemingly human with tattoos covering his arms and chest of symbols Dean didn't recognize. His hair was bright red and he looked awfully pissed off.

And then there were the fucking _wings_ sprouting from his back.

They were drawn in defensively, the plumes flat tones of reddish brown. They were nothing like Castiel's, smaller and a world less magical than his own angel's. Dean couldn't feel any Grace from him and lately he'd been feeling that shit pretty strongly lately, so what? He had wings but wasn't an angel? Dean had seen too many demons in his day to mistake this creature for one. He didn't feel the suffocating sensation of darkness while looking into its eyes, though they were certainly haunting in the most uncomfortable way. He breathed steadily through his nose, waiting for the creature to make the first move.

The angel-boy was crouching in a defensive position and just fucking _staring_. Dean would have reared back, telling him to get a fucking life—seriously, take a picture or something, had he not had the insatiable urge to find out what the creature (person? Angel?) wanted. He would have even been better off demanding who and what the hell he was, but Dean froze. He wasn't scared, because for some reason he could just tell that the kid wasn't hostile—Okay maybe a _little _hostile, but more hostile-y wary or something.

Dean wasn't going to fault him for that. The boy just seemed really curious. He was wearing what looked like brown leather chaps that laced at the sides, and what was that? A _loin cloth? _He didn't have shoes either. It reminded him of traditional native American dress in a way, but it was too intricate. The leather had designs not unlike the tattoos on his chest and Dean wondered what they could mean. Maybe he had a tribe? Maybe that was his tribe's symbol or something.

After a few minutes of staring, Dean realized that the kid was waiting for his move. Dean rolled his eyes.

"You want an autograph or somethin'? This ain't a free show." Dean could make out the faint glimmering of bared teeth before the Angel-boy whipped around and bolted away, feathers ruffled in agitation.

Dean stood up, brushing off his pants before striding up to the house, not liking the conversation he'd have to start out: "Cas your security sigils have been breached by a tadpole angel".

::

"This is concerning, Gabriel. If it were an angel that had crossed my barriers, I would have been alerted." Dean was tensely sitting on the ottoman in the living room, watching as the angels argued and really, it was kind of intense.

"Maybe your barriers are subpar. You were always daydreaming in defense training." Castiel stood up and glared at his brother warningly. Gabriel snorted, as if amused at the thought of Castiel fighting him at all. "Don't get your panties in a twist, little brother. I'm sure they're fine. Obviously it's not an angel that Dean saw."

"But it had wings—Very little wings though." He indicated with his thumb and forefinger. "Kid sized. It was weird. They were nothing like Castiel's. They were very. . . human in a way. Like if humans suddenly sprouted wings they might look like that. All the same colors as we have, not particularly amazing. Just regular. . ."

"If humans sprouted wings. . ." Gabriel chuckled to himself. "I'm going to need to see it for myself." Gabriel pressed his fingers to Dean's head and instantly he was knocked backwards, barely staying on his feet. "What the hell?!"

"I'm not letting you into my head whenever you damn well please, Gabriel." Gabriel blinked.

"How are you able to force me out?" Dean shrugged. Ever since the mind meld with Cas, Dean had grown more aware of his own mental barriers and it wasn't too hard to manipulate them if he tried hard enough.

"I don't know, but it's damn useful." Gabriel huffed.

"Well I still need to see!"

"Then ask nicely." Dean said, sweetly. Gabriel narrowed his eyes, obviously not terribly amused at the idea of having to 'ask' for anything at all. He grit his teeth.

"You're an idiot." He said. "You're the one in danger here, not me."

"He has a point, Dean. It would be preferable if Gabriel could ascertain the problem at hand."

"I want you to do it." Dean said to Cas, stuffing down that nervousness and almost excitement at having Cas in his head again. He ignored Gabriels complaint "Really?" and continued, glaring at the archangel-turned-trickster. "I don't want that jerk in my head." Castiel opened his mouth briefly before closing it and nodding. He moved to Dean, rubbing his shoulders soothingly. Dean relaxed under the familiar touch and gasped when suddenly he felt Cas's consciousness knocking at the door. Dean still didn't want to recreate that deep connection from before, but he brought the image of the boy to the forefront of his mind and drew the focus to that only before opening it.

Cas drew in a breath and Dean could feel the thought being burned to the angel's memory. When Cas withdrew completely, Dean was left mentally grappling for something to hold onto and, when he realized that Cas wasn't going to come back, tried to ignore how disappointed he felt.

Gabriel was instantly pressing his fingers against Cas's forehead. It was a moment before he opened his eyes again.

"Of course the nephilim would get word of this. . ." He said through gritted teeth.

"Nephilim?" Dean said, brow's drawn together tightly.

"Half-angel, half-human. Technically what you got in your belly right now." Dean frowned, not liking the idea.

"There's more? Wasn't this," He gestured to his belly. "The only half-angel on Earth?" Gabriel shook his head.

"No, Dean. Your baby is not the only nephilim on this planet." Gabriel's eyes were distant and Dean wondered just what the millennia old angel was seeing.

"Gabriel. . . It is believed that angels can't get humans pregnant."

"That's true, _now_. But a few thousand years ago it wasn't." Gabriel sighed. "Aside from a few human texts, all evidence from that time has been erased completely. It was a combined effort of me, Michael and Uriel to make sure that the events of that time were erased from the memory of the Host." Castiel furrowed his brow.

"Explain, Gabriel." Gabriel pulled out a sucker, unwrapping it and tossing it on the floor (Dean scrunched his nose at the action) before sitting on the couch, pulling Cas into his side and leaning heavily against him. Cas was still, his eyes narrowed uncomfortably and Dean felt sympathy for the angel. Gabriel sucked on the sweet before popping it out of his mouth and speaking.

"The first Guardian angels were called 'Watchers'. Watchers were sent to Earth to protect and observe humanity. They taught humans all sorts of trades; weapons, writing, meteorology and lunar cycles, but they ended up getting a little too close to the local girls and babies started popping out and that's where the problems started." Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Dean rolled his eyes, sitting down in his chair because he sensed a long-winded monologue coming on.

"There were all sorts of problems with angel babies." He explained, arms gesticulating dramatically to explain how much of a problem it really was. "For one, all the human girls died if they were pregnant with an angel's baby. The Watchers, dunderheaded as they were, were _completely _oblivious. They took refuge in the taverns and various frivolities and it wasn't until the deaths spiked that they realized the babies were theirs." He looked at his brother. "I wasn't lying when I said I didn't know that your baby needed Grace to survive, Castiel. I remembered the Catastrophe from before and acted based on mere assumptions. I only knew that Mama Dean here would die if left on his own." Gabriel continued, Dean glared at him, not liking the new nickname one bit.

"The mothers died within the first weeks of their pregnancies. The babies consumed their souls. You know firsthand what happens when souls are consumed." Gabriel looked at Castiel pointedly. "The nephilim of that age became motherless, winged monsters that terrorized humans with their fearsome strength and bloodlust. The flood was God's response to this and a number of other nasty things that cropped up on Earth. He sent me, Michael and Uriel to orchestrate this and keep this dirty secret away from the rest of Heaven. My job was to pit the nephilim against one another and let them destroy themselves. And oh, did they _ever_." Gabriel's eyes glazed over at the memory. Dean was just a little jealous that he didn't get to see it. Gabriel continued on a more serious note. "What hadn't been accounted for were the human women they'd already raped. The babies they produced killed the mothers instantly as well, and though they had power much like the first generation, they were not mindless beasts like their fathers. However, still had little wings." He made miniature, flapping wings with his hands. "The second generation of nephilim were allowed to live in reclusive peace as long as they controlled their breeding habits and did not come in contact with humans. They are masters of stealth, living for centuries in complete secrecy. They've even flown off my radar. I almost believed them to be extinct."

"So what would they want from me?" Dean probed, willing Gabriel to get to the point

"Well there are a few options here." Gabriel lifted a finger. "Either they want to kill you or they want to learn more about you. Maybe they wanna go mini golfing, I don't know, man. We're going to have to wait and see. Luckily nephilim like them aren't difficult to slow down for angels like us. The real problem was the first generation. They were more powerful than archangels." Dean narrowed his eyes, his mind connecting dots.

"So wait, does that mean that my baby will be more powerful than you?" Gabriel glared at him, his mouth staying closed. Dean sat up in his chair with a loud "Ha! Is _that _why you couldn't read my mind?" The archangel shared a tight look with his brother before speaking again.

"I have to go. Pray if you meet that boy again, Mama Dean." And then the archangel was gone. Dean frowned at the nickname before he turned to Castiel.

"What the hell is up with him, always leaving so abruptly even though we got important shit to talk about?" Castiel was tense, his shoulders stiff and Dean imagined the wings of his feathers to look sharp and agitated like the boy he saw in the forest.

"He is worried. What you said isn't far from the truth, only it's possible that your baby will be even more powerful than the first generation because it lives from Grace and not just the soul of its mother" Dean glared. "Forgive me, _Father_." Castiel rebuked. He looked up at Dean for a moment, a worried frown in his brow. "I fear that more creatures will come to see our child, Dean. More that aren't friendly and would like to take it. For all we know, that could be the intention of the nephilim, and if word has gotten to even their secret society, then it's likely spread to every unsavory foe in the world and we're just sitting ducks." Dean didn't even have the frame of mind to commend Cas on his flawless execution of an idiom.

"The leviathans." He breathed. Cas nodded, looking at him in that all-too serious way.

"And vampires and werewolves—Every monster you can think of has a use for a full nephilim, Dean." He drew his eyebrows together, blue eyes burning darkly, stubbled jaw tense. Dean could see Castiel's shoulders shifting and he imagined he could hear the rustling of feathers. "A war between monsters is dawning and they have a common goal. God help us if they decide to form alliances" Dean took Castiel's hand, looking firmly into his eyes, protectiveness flaring in his chest at the thought. _Over my dead fucking corpse._

"_Our _baby, Cas. We're in this together, remember? I don't care who's coming, we'll take 'em all out one by one." Cas sighed, smiling weakly before lacing his fingers into Dean's.

"It's good to have a positive attitude, Dean, but the reality is; We're vulnerable. We need a better defense." Dean took back his hand, blushing because he _hadn't _wanted to end up holding Cas's hand like that.

"Cas, I'm not entirely helpless, you know. I may be pregnant, but if push comes to shove I can still kick a fair amount of ass." Dean looked around uncertainly. "This pregnancy deal comes with a few perks anyways."

"Perks?"

"Remember back when Raguel trapped us into a much lamer version of Disneyland?" Castiel nodded, still looking confused at the reference. "Well that thing I did when I went all Subzero at the ceremony. . .Well, I can still _do _that." Dean got up, pulling Castiel into the kitchen and turned on the faucet, allowing a steady stream of water to fall.

Dean took a deep breath as he let his emotions flare, searching again for that coil and firmly grabbing it. Suddenly the temperature of the room seemed completely dependent on him and it was such an overwhelming feeling having that much power.

Dean focused on that stream, feeling the vibrations of its movement and the force that drove it and he wrapped that coil around it, pulling it until there was just silence. When he looked, the stream and the water pooling in the sink had become solid ice.

"You are able to control the baby's Grace." Cas stated in wonder.

"Yeah, it's unreal, right? I'm really awesome aren't i?" Castiel lifted his brow, looking only a fraction impressed.

"That is useful. I'm surprised you've learned to manipulate it so quickly." Dean grinned widely, looking pleased with himself. He was _useful_. "But it's not enough." Cas rebuked looking at him apologetically, "Dean, we can't rely on powers you've barely tested. Angels take centuries to learn how to use their Grace effectively.

"Then teach me!" Dean demanded. "Cas, we're running out of options here. There is literally no safe place to be anymore. I have to know how to use this power to protect us." He swallowed, placing his hands on Cas's hips and pulling close. "I know you're pulling out all the stops right now, but I need to be ready to defend myself if anything goes wrong. I have all sorts of weapons and defenses and I'm a damn good shot, but like you said I'm vulnerable like this and if this," He pressed Castiel's hand to his stomach. "If this power can help, then I should learn to use it in any way that I can, right?" Cas looked uncertain.

"It's reckless." He cautioned.

"But it's what I have to do, Cas." Cas contemplated for a moment, before a look of resignation crossed his features.

"If anything, we should train you to control it more effectively. And you're right, It wouldn't hurt if you learned how to defend yourself with it, also." Dean grinned.

"I'm always right." Cas sighed and pulled him in for a tight hug, wrapping his arms around Dean's middle and burying his face in the hunter's neck.

"I just worry about you." He was quiet for a moment before speaking again, his voice softer now, that worried little frown forming in his brow. "You shouldn't even be in this predicament." Dean sighed, pulling away from the hug and looking hard at the angel in front of him.

"Don't do this today, Cas. You know I don't blame you for that."

"Doesn't change the fact that it's my fault." Dean pulled back, raising Cas's chin so he could look at him properly.

"I don't want you referring to our kid negatively ever again." Dean admonished. "We decided we were going to do this and I don't regret that. Neither should you."

"I would never regret it—"

"Then stop talking like that." He pulled Cas forward into a sweet kiss, swiping his tongue slowly along the angel's bottom lip, the desire rearing up in him, built up so tightly just from a few days of no touching whatsoever. When he pulled back, his voice was barely above a whisper. "Just stop talking, okay?"

"Okay." Cas was on him again in an instant, hand finding Dean's short-but growing hair and tugging his head down, allowing the angel to get the upper hand. Cas was always kind of a forceful kisser.

Not that Dean was complaining.

Cas's tongue cleared up all of Dean's tongue's inhibitions, coaxing it into responding with sweet licks and sucks, dragging needy little sounds out of Dean's throat because he knew exactly how to get to him. They hadn't so much as kissed since they last time they saw Gabriel and, though it had only been a few days, it felt like eternity and Dean wondered how he'd ever lived without kisses like these.

Even though they'd teased each other about it before Gabriel came back, they both had remained perfectly celibate.

Dean had been studiously trying to avoid tiring himself out, because the last thing he wanted was to have to create that mind link again and absorb Cas's Grace like a hunter-sponge hybrid. . .thing.

What didn't help was that his mind was _fighting _with him for it.

Seriously just thinking about that connection, the openness. It was like a bridge had been gapped and he was so freakin' _free_. Dean fucking _craved _it and he hated that he wanted something that involved somebody so _intimately. _It wasn't like him and he knew if he had sex with Cas, the small burst of intimacy created from that would ignite the longing for a deeper connection he wished he'd never known he could have and he just couldn't handle that right now.

Finally getting over his afflictions about being probably (mostly) bisexual and having pleasurable (gay) sex with Cas, Dean had thought he wouldn't have any more personal issues to deal with. Boy had he been mistaken.

Just making out with Cas right now was building up the need for that emotional connection. He moaned thinking about it, and Cas took the opportunity to delve deeper into the hunter's mouth with his hot, naughty tongue, hands roaming down his sides and cupping his ass through his jeans. Dean curled his fingers tighter into Castiel's hair but they both knew that pleasures of the flesh weren't the only thing they wanted.

Dean bit his lip when he felt Cas's consciousness brush up against his. He didn't have any defenses up, and he shivered at the sensation. Cas was tentative, still asking for permission even though Dean wasn't blocking him out. Dean raised a weak barrier, startled by the sudden touch. Gabriel's touch hadn't been so. . . intimate.

"Dean. . ." Cas moaned against his lips. "Let me. . ."

"I-It's weird. . ." He said, flushing hotly. He felt like he was thirteen getting his first kiss and wasn't _that _just ridiculous?

"You used too much Grace today, and you know it." Dean blushed, cause he did. He was already feeling very tired and he knew this needed to happen sooner rather than later.

"D-Does it have to be so. . ._invasive_?"

"It has to be. My Grace needs to wrap around your soul which is where Grace resides in an angel. Your baby will recognize it there and only there." He paused, kissing Dean softly before pulling back and looking into Dean's darkened green eyes. "I won't look at anything you don't want me to see. Do you trust me?"

"Y-yeah. . ." Because Dean did. Cas wouldn't lie about something like that.

"Let me in, Dean." Dean felt his heart pounding in his chest and he did his best to open his mind completely, biting his lip as he felt Cas's reach. His breath started coming out in gasps as they connected, his palms getting clammy and heart-rate going berserk. This was it, the feeling he'd been craving for days, that connection that shouldn't have been possible but _was. _He knew he could he could just reach out and see anything and everything all at once if he wanted to. Cas trusted him with his mind, but Dean knew it would probably be a bad idea to look. Humans couldn't perceive everything angels did.

But just that they both trusted each other so much like this. . . This openness and vulnerability, the _faith _that Cas wouldn't exploit anything in his mind at all—That was the most surreal shit ever. The only thing in Dean's awareness was that feeling of complete and utter bliss that you feel at the peak of an orgasm, that white noise that fills your head and blows you away from all your worries, all of your troubles cease to exist because all that matters is the person you're sharing that moment with.

Only it didn't end. Dean was stripped bare and left open for all to see, all to _take_. Cas was looking at his soul and just how could Dean let himself be seen so easily? This was wrong. . . This was stupid. Cas was going to see everything, his ugliness, his sins. Cas was going to see the things he did in _hell_ and then he was going to leave. Of course he would. Nobody would want to associate themselves with someone like Dean, not with all of the shit he had packing. Dean was an idiot and he couldn't let Cas do this—

_Shh. . . relax, I have you. I was the one who remade your soul Dean, It's nothing I haven't seen before._

That silky voice. In his head. . . _Oh God._

_You always have been, even when you were broken in Hell. Dean I love you, every scar, every imperfection. It's all so very. . . you. Like an angel born with broken wings, you have so much light inside of you but you just can't fly. But you make the best of it. You do so much good despite the disadvantages and that's what makes you so very beautiful indeed._

He should have been denying it; Cas wouldn't want him still even after he knew all Dean was made of. Only, he couldn't deny it because in his head complete and utter truth rang like a bell in complete silence. He bit his lip, his eyes burning because Castiel _did_ still want him. Castiel loved him and he could feel it within every fiber of his being.

Being loved was kind of awesome.

Dean stopped pushing against Cas's presence, allowing the angel to continue with that touch like liquid silver in his head. He didn't know how to talk in his mind to Cas, but he knew he must have been able to convey his thoughts if Cas had known what he was thinking.

Cas was kissing him again, slowly, tenderly, bringing Dean out of his head and back into physical reality.

"You're doing so well, Dean. I'm going to start the transfer." He said with his physical voice, a low rumbling baritone that reminded kind of like a diesel truck with no muffler. Dean would be happy if Cas just talked in that low voice to him forever. He kind of wanted to hear it again.

"H-How long is it going to take?" His voice was shaky and Cas rubbed his arm soothingly.

"It seems that you're not nearly as low as you were last time. It should be less than an hour." Dean should have been relieved by that, but he was actually already disappointed that this connection was going to end so soon. Dean sighed, wondering if Cas knew how much Dean liked this feeling, how much Dean liked his voice. "We should sit down. I doubt you want to stand here for an hour."

Cas took his hand gently and lead him to the couch. At once that connection flared with the feeling of Grace so strong that Dean was glad he was sitting instead of standing. It rushed through him, seeping into his skin and twisting around his core, wrapping tightly around it. Dean gasped, gripping Cas's hand harder as the feeling consumed him.

He hadn't been conscious for this part the last time so if he expected anything, it wasn't this. It was definitely weird having something completely foreign enter his body and manipulate him so thoroughly—Like some drug that lowered his inhibitions only there wasn't going to be any low to suffer.

Only an all-consuming high.

Suddenly he felt warm. . . So warm. His stomach was warm.

"Ah. The baby has connected to my Grace." Cas mused.

"That's my baby?" He lifted his shirt, rubbing his slightly-swollen stomach curiously and nearly jumping out of his seat when he felt a tiny fluttering sensation coming from his belly. "Holy crap!"

"Dean?" Dean was frantically rubbing against his belly, anything to feel that movement again. He probably looked ridiculous to Cas, but he knew It wasn't in his head because it had definitely moved. Dean had _felt _it. It had _moved_.

His baby was _moving_!

Not anymore, apparently, but Dean wouldn't worry about that. He knew what he'd felt.

"Cas it moved. . ." Dean grinned up at him, squeezing his hand. "Our baby _moved_, Cas!" Cas was staring at him with his mouth slightly opened and Dean had to resist the urge to kiss him senseless. "It's because of you. It likes your Grace."

"Or maybe it hates it. . ."

"No way! You feel awesome. If the baby hated it, _I _would hate it and I like it so. . ." Dean blushed, realizing just how much he was running his mouth. "A-Anyways, I'm pretty sure this baby loves his daddy." Dean smiled, unable to take his eyes away from Cas. Cas looked so confused, as though he didn't know what to do with that information. Dean stroked the back of his hand with his thumb. "You better not spoil it. I don't wanna always be the bad guy."

"I-I have no idea what you mean by that." Cas looked suddenly very stressed out, shoulders shifting uncomfortably and Dean smirked.

"I can tell the baby likes you, and even though it's cute, you need to be firm—Son or daughter. I can totally see you giving our baby everything he or she wants even if I already said no." If it was one thing Dean knew, he knew how kids worked. Sam had always whined about things he wanted but, seeing as times had been tough, Dean had needed to lay down the law. Sam was well-behaved to begin with, but Dean had the pleasure of raising him through his finicky teen years. Cas opened his mouth to retort only to close it, looking at the ceiling to think.

"I have no idea how I would react. . . I'll try not to undermine you." Cas looked contemplative before he spoke again, his voice even more uncertain than before "S-So you really do want to raise it. . . I mean with _me_?"

"Of course."

"But what if I am inadequate? I know next to nothing about humans and even less about being a parent."

"Look, we can figure it out as we go, man. Not saying that it's impossible to be a single parent, but it's easier with two, you know. Better. . . I mean." Dean blushed, not wanting to say anything further than that. Cas's face fell slightly.

"So it's for convenience." He stated, his voice bland and careful. Dean frowned.

"And because I want you to be there. I told you before, I think you'll be an awesome dad, Cas." That just reinforced that Cas was holding true to his word and not reading Dean's mind without his permission. That was actually really nice to know, even though Cas made some pretty dumb assumptions. "Cas you're not so bad to live with and um. . ." No. Not now. He wasn't ready to have this talk yet. Not about their relationship. For some reason this mind-connection thing gave him a bad case of loose lips. He had to steer this conversation elsewhere. Whatever it was it didn't matter. He had to say something to end the current topic, though. It would be weird to start a thought then completely change course. "Cas you're part of my family and the only thing changing is just how much family you are. We're in this together, I told you." _You're my baby daddy. _Dean snorted. Oh god his life was suddenly a Maury Special: _A Devine Pregnancy: My life and journey through male motherhood. _Fuck Dean in the ass right now. "Hey so I was thinking we need to figure out how we're going to spend our time here. We can't just sit around the house all day. It drives us _both _crazy."

"Yes, the inactivity is a lot more restrictive than I anticipated." Cas started idly playing with the fingers on Dean's right hand, stretching them back as far as they could go before Dean started pushing back and, before they knew it they were having a little finger battle. Cas was winning. "I've been alive for millennia and time like this is like a blink for an angel like me, but this is the longest few weeks I've ever had." He smiled, linking their fingers. "Time slows down when I'm with you, Dean."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Dean tried to pull his hand away but Cas wouldn't let him.

"It's good. I didn't realize how many moments there were to miss until I met you." Dean felt his stomach fill up with butterflies and he blushed, unable to hide his smile. Cas winced then, closing his eyes in discomfort and Dean squeezed his hand in concern.

"Hey what's up? Are you okay?" Dean demanded, squeezing Cas's hip when the angel didn't respond. When he opened his eyes, they were glowing brightly a neon blue that served to remind Dean just how much power was in this angel. Cas shook his head and the glow faded. He looked at Dean.

"The transfer weakens me. There is a lot of Grace being lost in a short amount of time. It's transferred faster than it's replenished." He saw the look on Dean's face and shook his head, his eyes lightening and he smiled. "Don't worry about me. This isn't nearly as bad as it was last time." Dean grimaced, feeling suddenly very guilty.

"I'm sorry. . ."

"You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault. It really isn't even an issue. This much Grace is nothing." Cas's lips quirked in what seemed to be a little bit of a cocky gesture and Dean grinned.

"So you think you're hot shit then?"

"I don't identify myself with warmed feces. . ." Dean laughed, shaking his head.

"I mean, you're pretty powerful, right?" Cas shrugged, raising an eyebrow.

"For a mid-level angel, I suppose I'm above average in power." Cas said thoughtfully. "But, ah, that is because I don't always follow protocol when using my Grace."

"What do you mean?" Dean pressed on, eager to get out of the realm of relationships. Angels were pretty interesting things and Dean really did want to learn more about them.

"Well, for instance, Angels use Grace via intent." He looked at Dean. "Typically."

"Typically."

"Yes. It's effective, but it's not most efficient since the Grace literally has no specific focus. The impact is strong and there is wasted energy, and third party things and individuals get affected by it needlessly."

"Kind of like a bomb?"

"Yes, a very good analogy. Now imagine an AK47 assault rifle."

"Most shots are precise and there is always a specific target in mind. Also magazines are cheap."

"Exactly. It's effective and cost-efficient. It's also powerful enough to take down virtually any foe in only a few shots. That's how I typically use my Grace. I don't tire as fast as other angels and my attacks are never wasted. It's advantageous because while other angels are already wiped from their first attacks, I'm able to take on the next round of enemies." He paused, smirking just barely. "Alone." Dean grinned wide.

"Look at you, mister badass of the garrison." Dean punched Cas's shoulder playfully, biting his lip. It might have been a little exciting, thinking of Cas, _his _Cas kicking ass and taking names while the other angels were busy wiping their prissy little asses.

"My style of fighting is frowned upon by the Host."

"If you get shit done, why should they complain?" Cas rolled his eyes, as though the idea was the most exhausting thing he'd ever lived through.

"Because angels shouldn't act like humans," Dean imagined that was said a little mockingly. "They should automatically take out the root cause and complete the mission with as little casualties as possible. Ideally, angels should only have to use a Grace-powered attack _once _before returning to heaven with the objective completed."

"Sounds like bullshit to me."

Cas hesitated, narrowing his eyes and nodding slowly as though he just got it. Which he probably _did_. Cute. Freakin' adorable. "Yes, it's akin to bullshit. What the Host doesn't seem to understand is that our angels aren't actually that smart. They use up their biggest attack right away, and then I'm stuck trying to defend them from harm and then the casualties build." Castiel frowned. "And then I get reprimanded for the body count."

"Bunch of dicks. It's their fault they made a stupid move, shouldn't be your responsibility to babysit them."

"But it is. Saving a brother is almost always the first priority. The mission is secondary. Well at least that's how it _used _to be." Castiel hesitated before speaking again, his eyes sincere and open. "Of course I want to save my brothers, but I just wish I wouldn't be reprimanded for it." Dean sighed, letting his head rest on Cas's shoulder as the Grace flowed hotly through his veins. It was relaxing, like being covered from head to toe with a warm blanket on a very cold day, only it wasn't cold in the room at all. It was just that sensation.

"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone. Bet they're wishing they'd done things differently, now." Cas was silent for a moment.

"Sometimes I wonder how I turned out so different." Dean snorted.

"You've been rebelling to save lives before you even met me, Cas. I think that's just who you are." He paused, biting his lip before speaking again. I like it."

"You do?"

"Yeah, it's pretty hot." Cas paused a moment before speaking again.

"Hot as in attractive, you mean?" Dean flushed, not looking up because somehow this conversation went the wrong way again.

"Yes, now I wanna take a nap while we finish this up, so shh." Cas was smiling. Dean didn't have to look up to know that.

It wasn't like he didn't know a hot guy when he saw one. Even when he had been sure he was heterosexual, he could pick out the hottest of the pack in a crowded bar and know who was and who wasn't getting laid that night. The confidence, the strength and the charm they all possessed, it wasn't rocket science.

Cas was that guy. Cas would be getting ass left and right if he were looking for it.

_But he's not looking for it._

Dean flushed, suddenly feeling the butterflies in his stomach kick up a storm. Cas wanted Dean and only Dean. He'd made that perfectly clear. Dean knew he wanted it. . . Wanted sex. The next time they did it, how would it go? Would Cas fuck him again? Cas seemed to really like it. He liked fucking Dean. Dean supposed Cas would let him fuck him if he wanted to, but if he were completely honest with himself, he _didn't _really want to. He was just learning how good it felt having a thick, hot dick buried deep inside his hole. . . And then there was that _spot_. Dean wasn't an idiot and he'd always known men had prostates, he just never knew that it felt so good to be touched there. It wasn't like he'd ever explored his _ass _for Christ's sake. When he was fucked in Hell there'd been no pleasure there so what was he _supposed _to think? For most of his life that place had been exit only.

And Cas's cock was so. . . He bit his lip, remembering what it was like to be filled to the brim with it, clenching around that hot cock much like a bar of heated steel. He wondered for a moment what Cas would do if Dean suddenly went down on him, doing what so many girls had done to him, feeling the hot weight on his tongue and pushing it all the way back to his throat—

Cas tensed beside him and Dean looked up, seeing the angel's jaw tense and eyes dark. Right. Mind-link.

If Dean had been red before, then by now he must have looked like freakin' Clifford. Their eyes connected and Dean couldn't help but smile nervously, shrugging. Cas narrowed his eyes, those burning blues dragging down and quite obviously looking at Dean's lips. _Oh yeah?_ _Think you can get away with reading my thoughts just because you have this mind-link as an excuse?_ Dean bit his lip before parting them slightly and wetting them with his tongue, looking up at Cas through hooded lashes and thought in-detail about how he could explore this new side of his sexuality. The angel swallowed thickly and looked away, shifting a bit where he sat. Dean grinned, feeling as if he were winning this somehow.

Deciding that thinking too deeply about things he didn't want Cas knowing about yet would be a bad idea, Dean was content with just subtly teasing Cas throughout the rest of the exchange. At one point, Castiel scolded Dean because he couldn't let his concentration be broken, So Dean just took a nap like he'd planned before.

He wasn't _trying _to avoid the conversation he'd resolved himself to have with Cas, he just didn't know how to start it. What would he say? How would Cas feel? He couldn't think about it too deeply now because he didn't want Cas to accidentally read his thoughts and draw up his own conclusions when Dean didn't even know what he, _himself _wanted. For now they would get through this, but by the end of that week, Dean knew he had to reach a decision. He was getting too comfortable like this and dithering around on a decision like this would only hurt them both. Or _three_, he supposed, thinking to the little Grace-sucker in his belly. He smiled, rubbing his belly absently, remembering how he'd felt it move. It was all so real now. He had a baby and it was alive and it was _his._

_My kid. My son or daughter. I'm a _dad_._

He realized, with a start, that it didn't even matter that he was a man and he was pregnant now. All that mattered was that he was a dad. All that mattered was that he would do anything for this baby—and if that included having talks he didn't want to have, then he would do it.

He felt Castiel squeeze his hand and he closed his eyes, linking their fingers together, that forbidden feeling rising in the center of his chest like a reminder—like a hellhound growling at his door. Now that he'd acknowledged it, it wouldn't leave him alone. He knew if he didn't do something, if he was left to his own devices in this limbo, he would end up pushing the angel away out of fear as the feeling grew out of his control. Dean couldn't allow that to happen.

He _wouldn't _allow that to happen.

::

**POLL**: It's taking a long time to update when I'm focused on both Seeing in Black and A Wish Your Heart Makes, and I know some of you read both of my stories**. **I posted a poll on my** profile** to see if you, the readers, would rather I focus on SIB or AWYHM, or if I continue to update both interchangeably. I will continue to write for both unless I get a good response to the poll, just know that updates aren't going to be regular that way. I want to finish both stories, but it really is daunting to write two at the same time and I'm not a great updater as it is. . .

The poll will be open until I get a good response to it and it won't be closed until a few weeks after this update. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBAX


	13. Verbal Ineptitude

So I decided I absolutely can not choose between these stories. It would feel too much like abandoning one over the other and I love them both so much like my children-I just can't!

I will continue on as I have been so forgive me for slow updates. I just love them too much to play favorites. :(

In other news: WE'VE BROKE 100K! YAYYY THIS STORY IS OFFICIALLY BUTT-FUCK LONG! Thank you all for the support and love and prodding. . . seriously I wouldn't have gotten this far without you!

::

Dean stood in front of Cas, freezing the dew drops all around them in the earliest hours of the morning.

"That's good Dean, but as it is, it's not going to be much help in battle to do only this." Dean pouted, but conceded Castiel's point. There weren't going to be dew on the enemies to freeze. "It seems that your power manifests in the form of freezing." Castiel brought his hand up. "You have to learn how to create ice out of thin air and use it as an attack." Dean lifted a brow.

"How will I do something like that?"

"Well water is made out of H2O, correct?" Dean nodded. "There are hydrogen and oxygen in the atmosphere, correct?" Dean nodded, not seeing whatever the fuck—

Oh.

"I can make ice out of air!" Cas smiled.

"Yes, a very small amount since there's only a small amount of hydrogen in the air. But to even think about doing that, you need to manipulate water on a molecular level," An ice crystal formed itself in thin air and remained floating in Castiel's hand. Dean stared in awe, wondering how he did that.

"But I can't. . ."

"You can. You did it at the wedding ceremony by using the water inside of people and freezing them, and you can do it with air too. You froze the entire room and none of the surfaces there were wet. What were you thinking when the room froze, Dean?" Dean blushed, biting his cheek at the anger that swelled up in him combined with the embarrassment of his thoughts at the time.

"All I could think about was you choosing that stupid bitch after all we. . . after. . ." Castiel's gaze softened and he took Dean's hand, making the hunter look up to him.

"Dean that makes me very happy."

"Shut up. . ." And he did. Cas was all business and Dean resisted the urge to pout.

"The reaction was purely emotional. You need to incorporate your emotions into this, Dean. Show me that again." Dean bit his lip, pulling back all the hurt and anger he felt at the time, his hand tightening around Castiel. He felt the power surge through him, buzzing around his skin and before he knew it Castiel was becoming frosted, along with everything around them until the ground was shrouded in ice. He jumped and lurched forward, panic filling him to the brim.

"C-Cas!? Cas holy crap!" Cas shook his head, a few ice crystals flinging from side to side. He grinned a frozen smile before thawing abruptly. Dean bit back a grin, thinking the angel looked kind of adorable all frosted. It was okay because he wasn't hurt, right?

"Perfect. Now tell me how you centralize to just one drop or stream of water?"

"It's like. . . kind of like a rope that I pull tight to release the energy and loosen to pull it back." Cas nodded, his fingers idly stroking Dean's as he spoke.

"It seems that when you use this 'rope', the power is released on a purely technical basis. Freezing water is the most base of this power of yours. Since your eyes don't have the ability to see molecules, you can only rely on your will to freeze it and that's the difficult part for you to control." He narrowed his eyes. "Can you picture the rope clearly in your mind?"

"Yes."

"You can call upon the emotions easily, yes?"

"Yeah."

"I suggest instead of blanketing the rope with those feelings, try to weave it into the binding and then control it as you do when you freeze water. Instead of water, focus on one central point in mid-air and do your best to contain it there." Made sense. . .  
>Dean steeled his concentration, holding up his hand as Cas did earlier, concentrating on that emotion and the rope in his mind.<p>

He could feel his hand become colder and he realized he was going to freeze his hand at this rate so he aimed a little higher trying to confine it to some sort of space but it was hard. His heart was hammering with the anger and the memories and he couldn't focus. He breathed deeply through his nose and did his best to wrap the emotions around the rope in his head.

Suddenly there was snow appearing out of nowhere falling to the palm of his hand. It was like a miniature snowfall. . . He sucked in a breath, his concentration breaking at the sight and the snow instantly melted, turning into very cold water. He shook his hand, wiping it on his pants before looking up at Cas who was smirking.

Dean's mouth stretched into his own wide grin and he bit his lip, feeling a bit bashful at how proud Castiel looked at that moment. The angel stretched out his hand, his thumb stroking the hunter's stubbly jaw.

"Does this mean you're going to train me?"

"Yes. I think it will be wise for you to learn to use these powers if you need to."

"Great! When can we start?" Castiel's face turned serious.

"Dean, If I am to train you, know that I will not go easy on you simply because I love you. The first day I will test your limits and we will train for long periods every day thereafter. I am the captain of my garrison and I do not tolerate laziness. I expect you to put in your best effort." Dean lifted a brow, feeling heat coil low in his belly.

"That sounds pretty hot." Dean pressed his lips against Castiel's. The angel pulled back, looking at him sternly.

"You must take this seriously Dean."

"I am. You should trust me more."

"Maybe if you'd stop being so reckless I would." Castiel stepped forward and kissed him softly, over and over, never letting their lips more than an inch apart.

"What are you talking about?" Dean pulled back, taking a deep breath and feeling his body get really heavy.

"You always" kiss. "Stand until your back hurts." Kiss. "Lift heavy things." Kiss. "Eat too much junk food." Kiss. "Forget to take your vitami—" Dean rolled his eyes, pushing at Cas's shoulders.

"—Yeah yeah, I get it. I'll try to be better, okay?" Castiel smiled.

"That means we must transfer my Grace to you every day at least twice. Once before training and one after. You're using the Grace that's meant for the baby. I won't be letting you get so dangerously low again." Dean rolled his eyes, ignoring how his stomach started to flutter at the thought of making that connection so many times.

They'd made him uncomfortable before, but the transfer was actually kind of relaxing and Dean was looking forward to it. It had been nice just sitting on the couch listening to Castiel talk about heaven and angels. When they did it last time, Dean couldn't help but notice how much they tended to touch each other—and Cas was definitely a cuddler. There had been very little feelings of arousal which was weird to Dean—Just contentment in touching each other and kissing and Dean didn't quite know how to deal with that. It all seemed so. . . relationship-y.

But considering the conversation they needed to have, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, was it?

They'd done some cleaning and shopping and preparing for dinner later—they'd be making steak and cheesy potatoes for dinner and Dean could hardly wait to get some real food into his belly. The rest of the day they'd spent outside because Cas said that if they were going to train, he had to evaluate Dean's level so that they had a base-point. They could relax now and Dean wasn't against using that time to make the transfer.

Dean suddenly felt very lightheaded and leaned against Castiel, breathing heavily as he searched out his center of gravity. Castiel helped to steady him, looking very concerned.

"Dean! Are you okay?" Dean nodded.

"Yeah I'll be fine I just got a little lightheaded. . ."

"Come. We won't be training again until you're at full strength."

"We're still going to train?" Dean asked, hopefully. Castiel raised an eyebrow.

"Don't tell me you did all that work convincing me just to think you're getting out of it. When I start something, I finish it. Lazy hunters will be disciplined accordingly." Dean choked on his spit, his cock giving an almighty _jerk _from that statement. Holy fuck he wanted to be disciplined. He wanted to be disciplined _so _bad, and the fact that they hadn't had sex in a week was starting to get on both of their nerves. Dean could see it in the burning looks Cas gave him, in the lingering touches that were completely unnecessary between them both.

Dean was horny and so was Cas. . . There really wasn't anything keeping them from doing it now that it wouldn't be so awkward doing the Grace connection. Perhaps he would do something about it today. . . It wasn't like Cas would be unwilling. Cas wanted to fuck him and Dean already knew he was kind of definitely bisexual so what was the point of denying this urge?

He was even resigning himself to getting into an official relationship with Cas so there literally was no point for the celibacy.

Dean grinned, already half-way through planning on rocking Cas's world today.

"I'm still a little tense." They'd spent the last thirty minutes in the Grace-connection and Dean felt a lot better. Cas had been telling him more stories about Heaven and his life there—How Gabriel and Balthazar would tease him for being so serious all the time. It was nice and Dean was already looking forward to the next time. Cas didn't usually talk about himself that much.

"Let me fix that." Cas spoke softly into his ear. Dean groaned when he felt Cas's thumbs drag up the center of his back, splaying out as he neared the top and rolling in the _nicest _fucking way. "Your back is in knots, Dean. I told you, you shouldn't work so hard." Dean melted against Castiel's touch because oh my _God_ it felt so good. His back had been becoming a literal pain lately and Dean suspected it had something to do with being pregnant.

"Mmmm Cas your fingers are made of magic, aren't they?"

"No, but I can implement a little Grace into this, if you prefer." Dean sucked in a breath as suddenly Cas's fingers were all the right kinds of warm and it felt like it was just seeping into his muscles.

"H-Holy _crap _that feels amazing." Dean's eyes fluttered shut in bliss and he was being entirely supported by Cas's fingers now and the angel chuckled, kissing Dean's neck softly as the hunter threw away any and all inhibitions. He was going to worship those hands, build a fucking _shrine _for them because goddamn, Cas was turning him into a pile of putty quite literally in his hands and Dean didn't stand a chance.

After just ten more minutes, Cas worked through every knot and stiff muscle Dean didn't even know he had. Dean turned, wrapping his arms around Cas's shoulders and leaning down to kiss him slowly, feeling oddly affectionate after that wonderful massage. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's waist underneath his green flannel and pulled him close, deepening the kiss. After a minute or so of making out, Dean pulled back a fraction of an inch, his voice already husky with lust.

"My back hasn't felt this good in years." Dean pressed his half-hard erection tightly against Castiel's body. Dean was pleased to find out he wasn't the only one hard. He kissed the angel again, burying his fingers into that mop of dark hair as he ground their hips together slowly. "Mmm. . ."

"Ah, Dean wait—" Dean couldn't believe Cas just told him to _wait_. Dean licked into Cas's mouth dragging his tongue along Castiel's, enticingly long, slow strokes. Cas moaned into his mouth, licking back, sucking onto Dean's tongue before pushing Dean back, breaking the kiss. Cas's blue eyes were burning with lust by then. Even though Castiel was the one who stopped the kisses, the angel was still pressing his hardening cock against Dean's, thrusting up into it. Dean thrust back, spreading his legs to give Cas better access. The angel groaned, burying his face in Dean's neck. "It's hard to control myself around you. . ."

"Control yourself? Why would you need to do that?" Dean asked innocently, pressing his hand against the bulge in Castiel's sweatpants—Or rather Dean's sweatpants, since Castiel didn't have any other clothes than his trench coat and suit, they shared clothes. He wrapped his fingers around the shape of Cas's dick, noting with a smirk that he wasn't wearing underpants.

"B-Because you haven't been particularly wanting in that area and I thought maybe with the baby you didn't want it. . . I don't want to push you into anything you don't want." Dean laughed.

"Are you kidding me? Cas does it _look _like I'm not in the mood?" Dean gave him a nice hard squeeze and Cas bucked involuntarily into his hand and bit his lip. It was so fucking adorable. Castiel swallowed thickly as Dean's hand rubbed him up and down nice and firmly, his blue eyes dark with lust. The way he looked at Dean was so indecent, like Cas wanted nothing more than to lick every inch of Dean's body. Dean shivered at the thought. "We haven't done it in a while. . . I was kind of hoping we'd do it again soon. You want it too, right. . .?"

Dean backed him up until Cas had no choice but to sit down on the couch. He crawled on top of the angel, sitting tightly against his hips. Castiel groaned, hands gripping onto Dean's waist like he couldn't decide whether to push Dean away or draw him closer. Dean bit his lip as he felt Castiel's hands move from his hips to cupping his ass over his jeans. Cas squeezed firmly, pressing Dean into him and grinding up, hissing when he felt the growing hardness there. "Dean I want. . ."

"What do you want?" Cas made an impatient noise, pulling the hunter flush against him, grinding his hard cock into him, fingers tracing the seam of his jeans between his cheeks firmly. Dean flushed, bending down so that his lips were brushing against the angel's ear, breathing hotly against it. He spoke lowly and huskily as he rolled his hips down into Cas's, loving the hot friction on his dick but wishing there weren't so many clothes separating them. He couldn't remember getting so hard so fast. "Cas, tell me." Cas moaned, nuzzling his lips against Dean's face.

"I want. . . intercourse. With you." It was so serious, so sexy and it was just the funniest fucking thing Dean ever heard anyone say. Dean choked on his spit, giggles erupting from his throat. Castiel looked confused but it was forgotten as Dean kissed him hard, pressing his tongue inside and playfully swiping at Castiel's before pulling back. He looked into the angel's eyes and smiled. Cas frowned. "For some reason I feel as though you are laughing at my expense." Dean grinned wider, and if he didn't know better, he'd say the angel was pouting. "I don't know how to use slang terms like you do," Cas grumbled. "Technical ones are the safest option." Dean smiled, cupping the angel's face and kissing him softly this time.

"'s kinda cute, I guess." Dean rolled his hips letting Cas feel just how unaffected his hard-on was by the mechanical terminology, maybe even reinforced. He winked. "See? No complaining downstairs." Castiel narrowed his eyes suspiciously, staring into Dean's eyes as though trying to solve a mystery.

"Why would you find my ineptitude of verbal intimacy arousing?" Dean stilled, pausing his gently grinding hips as he wondered about that. Why indeed!

"I guess it must be a kink of mine or something." He decided, shrugging. _Whatever, at least I'm not into sheep or something freaky like that._ "It ain't just the words. You could probably say anything and turn me on with that voice of yours."

"Really?" Dean flushed a bit, realizing only now what he'd just admitted. He looked away.

"Yeah, probably." Castiel pulled Dean down by the neck and pressed his lips against his ear, rumbling lowly.

"I'd like to test that theory." All sorts of chills ran up Dean's back and he held on tightly to Cas's shoulder. Cas was running his tongue along the shell of his ear and kissing the sensitive skin of his neck. "Will you copulate with me, Dean?" Dean blushed all sorts of red because god _damn. _Nerd talk should _not_ be so sexy.

"Y-Yeah."

"The conjoining of my phallus into your anal channel, you'd like that?"

"C-Cas. . ."

"Tell me you want that, Dean."

"Why?" Dean was almost whining because it was fucking embarrassing.

"Because I want to hear you say it." Cas was whispering into his ear now. Dean was moaning just from the words.

"God. . ."

"Castiel."

"C-Castiel, I want it. Want you. . . "

Castiel moved to kiss softly at Dean's lips and Dean pressed inside, flicking their tongues together, softly licking. It wasn't long until their soft kissing turned heated, Cas's tongue trying to taste everything it could reach. Dean moaned, pulling back with a hot suck to it. Cas groaned, eyes half-lidded and rolling his hips up into Dean feverishly.

He pushed Cas's legs apart, looking at the impressive tent there and palmed him firmly through his sweats, feeling Cas's cock filled out completely and fat in his hand. "You're so hot here, Cas."

Cas bit his lip, thrusting up into Dean's hand. Dean wrapped his hand around it, intrigued by just how hot it was even through the sweats and Cas was _so _hard. He felt a wet spot soaking through the pants and he chuckled. He could just imagine all the filthy things going through the angel's mind all said in overly large words but no less indecent. He felt his belt buckle being undone and before he knew it Cas's hands were sliding under his jeans and boxers now, squeezing his cheeks and tracing a finger up and down his crack. Dean blushed feeling his cock twitch because _yes _he wanted so badly for Cas to touch him there.

"I want to show you how much I love this part of you." Cas declared and Dean groaned because fuck yeah. It'd been way too long and he found he actually _needed _it. He needed Cas to shove his cock inside and fuck him into this couch right now—and so what if it made him gay or whatever. Cas liked it and there wasn't anyone around to judge him and so what if they did? There was a whole nother world of sex that Dean had studiously avoided and he was going to enjoy it now. Cock felt good and guys were. . .

Well Cas was _hot._

Cas, or rather Jimmy Novak, had dark hair that didn't seem to want to make any sense and droopy blue eyes that burned holes into the hunter every time he watched him. Dean traced Cas's face, every line and every contour with his fingers. Dean couldn't really remember being attracted to any guy this way, well minus Doctor Sexy but come _on _that guy was a sexy motherfucker and Dean didn't care who you were_. _He had to hand it to him, Cas knew how to choose a vessel. Dean wondered if it was weird being attracted to this form when it was Cas that he was. . . Well whatever he was to Cas. Dean wondered if now that he could see Castiel's wings if he could see the rest of Cas's previous form.

He once said that he was the size of the Chrysler building and Dean's first thought after thinking about that now was _ow. _He was suddenly very grateful for Jimmy. Besides, Castiel was completely the owner of this body now. It was in the expressions of his face, the intensity of those eyes and the roughness of that voice. . . those things weren't Jimmy's and those were the things Dean liked most about Cas. He wasn't attracted to Jimmy Novak. He was attracted to Castiel.

Castiel moaned when Dean positioned himself face down on the couch, knees bent beneath him and spread invitingly and the sound went straight to Dean's cock. Cas made quick of his jeans, yanking them off boxers and all. He left them in a crumple on the floor by the couch. Dean flushed red, feeling kinda exposed because he could feel the cool air of the living room on his hole, but that didn't change how turned on he was. Cas was gonna do it now, slick him up with Grace and put his dick inside. . .

He was a little surprised when he felt Cas's fingers again.

"You know you can just use your Grace to do it. . ." Dean reminded him, a bit distracted by the finger sliding more firmly up and down between his cheeks, stopping to rub his pucker on every up-stroke. He shivered, the nerves jumping at the touch, excited for the attention. He looked back, breath hitching at the sight of Cas kneeling there, face flushed and panting, his eyes firmly glued to whatever he found so fascinating back there.

"You don't know the picture you make here, do you Dean?" Half-lidded blue eyes met his and Dean could see Cas's cock jump in his pants. The heat spread up to the Winchester's ears and he looked away, listening to that sultry voice talk about things he never knew about his body. "Your legs are white and soft from not seeing the light of day, strong and gorgeous like the rest of you, spread so that I can see everything. . . Your hole is pink and there are freckles all around it. It looks lovely." _Lovely. . . _ How could asses be lovely? _He was a dude._

"Cas, even if anything about me is lovely, it's not gonna be my assho—" He stopped short, feeling the angel circling his hole with his finger, pressing against it playfully. The muscles in Dean's chest and stomach clenched as a wave of arousal hit him forcefully and he clenched the cushion beneath him when he felt Cas's hot breath on his hole.

"C-Cas. . ." Dean closed his eyes as heat gathered low in his belly. He pressed back against that finger. "C-Come on, dude."

He shouted, suddenly feeling the tip of something hot and wet slide along his crack. He instantly tried to pull away but Cas's fingers curled around his hips, anchoring him so that Dean had no choice but to stay there.

"Cas! Cas what the _hell_ dude. . . That's gross man you can't just. . ." Dean's voice went smaller as Cas's tongue got braver, swirling around his tight hole. "Cas wait. . . Don't _lick_ it. . ." Cas was _licking _him. He bit his lip, feeling the tip of Cas's tongue swipe at his hole repeatedly, licking it like a kitten. He let out a shuddering breath, his cock hard and definitely excited at what was going on back there. Cas let his tongue swirl all around it before sucking on it with his lips and driving Dean insane. Cas was lapping at it now, _tasting _it, pressing his tongue hard against that tight muscle. Dean was trying his damnedest to control the sounds escaping his throat.

"It's been too long. You're so tight, Dean." Dean groaned when he felt the tip of Cas's tongue breach him slightly. "I'm going to spend a long time getting you ready today."

"Fuck! Cas. . ." Cas sucked on his hole again, coaxing the muscles back there to relax with his hot licks, letting the tip pull at it before pressing inside again. Dean moaned loudly, panting at the sensation because fuck. . . it was a little hard to be quiet with an angel's tongue wiggling around in your ass.

Cas was eating him out. . . putting his tongue in his ass and sucking it. . . It was dirty. It was wrong and it was so _fucking _sexy. Dean bit his lip, feeling the burning stretch when Cas put his tongue in deeper and deeper. Cas moaned, sending vibrations to places Dean never imagined he'd feel. Cas pulled back, leaving Dean open and empty and clenching around nothing.

"How does it feel, Dean?"

"Cas you're such a pervert. . ." Dean panted out.

"But you liked it. I can tell because you're making a mess of the couch." Dean looked down, seeing his cock bob in and out of a pool of precome on the couch, an indecent trail of it leading from his dick. Dean bit his lip, flushing at the sight in shame because Cas's tongue in his ass shouldn't feel so good. He shouldn't be wanting to feel it again. "I like the way you taste. . ."

"_Cas!" _Dean was an appreciator of sex but he was still kind of vanilla when it came to anal. He was starting to see what the hype was all about, but _this _was hitting completely out of his ballpark. Cas's words weren't even that bad but they sounded like a freaking porno to Dean at that point and it was making him feel like a blushing virgin on her prom night.

Didn't change the fact how fucking _hot _it was. His cheeks were on fire as Cas dove in again, braver now and his tongue literally moving in every direction and it was turning Dean's mind into mush.

"Ah. . .Cas h-how can you like that?" Cas pulled out, pressing a sweet kiss to it before speaking.

"When I do it, an entirely new range of sounds come out of your mouth." Dean moaned, feeling that tongue inside again, licking at his walls and fucking him.

"F-Fuck. . ." He felt Cas's thumb rubbing firmly between his balls before his fingers started rubbing that sensitive spot just behind them, licking inside him the entire time. Dean's eyes fluttered shut and he moaned. It felt so good. Cas's tongue was all sorts of naughty in all the right ways. Cas pulled out and Dean whined a bit, missing that hot tongue inside of him already.

"Does it feel good, Dean?"

"Y-Yeah. . . "

He could feel Cas grin before he could feel two fingers crawling inside of him. Dean let out a shout in surprise. "Oh, fuck." The stretch was unexpected and it hurt just a little but that sinful tongue just added to the sensation, flicking around his rim as Cas's fingers worked him thoroughly. "God, Cas you know what you're doing, huh?" He moaned as his tongue joined those fingers, adding a stretch in a completely different and not entirely pain-free way. "Shit. . ."

"It's so tight Dean. . ." Cas took out his fingers and pressed his tongue in his hole as far as it could go.

"It's good enough. . ." As much as Dean was warming up to the idea of Cas's tongue in his ass, he wanted to be fucked sometime in the next century. His cock was already purple and the couch may or may not have been beyond saving. "Cas come on. . .You wanna put your dick inside it, don't you?" He said, biting his lip, pressing himself back on Cas's tongue. Cas moaned, the sound _doing _things to Dean. Cas looked down, as though he hadn't even realized he had a body apart from his mouth and hands. He made short work of his shirt and pants, as his thick cock sprang free.

Oh _God. . . _Dean was gay. Definitely gay. ..

Cas's muscles were defined under his pale, slightly pink skin. His nipples were bright pink same as the head of his dick. His balls were heavy between his muscular legs and he was really everything playgirl wanted. Dean could see wetness forming at the tip of his long cock and he fought the urge to go and lick it off.

_Lick it. . . Dean what the hell? Since when did you wanna taste cock?_

"Cas come on. . . You're driving me crazy."

"Soon." Cas shoved three fingers in then, making Dean cry out in pain mixed with pleasure. It was such a tight stretch, the burn was amazing and he could feel lube on those fingers that came from absolutely nothing. Cas dug in deep, twisting and scissoring away, getting the hunter ready for bigger and better things. Dean spread his legs to get better leverage, but lost his balance completely when Cas hit his prostate.

Fuck. . . Had it always felt that good?

Cas held up his hip, anchoring the hunter as he tore the sense right from him.

Dean was moaning openly now, the angel not relenting on his assault on his prostate, rubbing and stroking it, thrusting his fingers hard against it.

"Cas. . . Cas. . . Cas!" Dean moved his hand to wrap it around his neglected cock only to have it swatted away.

"No touching."

"Cas . . ."

"I want this to last." Dean hissed when he felt that hot cock pressing against his tight rim, rubbing between his cheeks and Dean looked back, watching Cas's strained face. Dean bit his lip, feeling chills as their gazes connected before Cas pushed in, not looking away. He groaned, the breach of the head already so much bigger than his fingers. Cas shut his eyes, grinding his teeth and gripping Dean's hips so hard he would probably bruise.

It definitely hurt. . . But the pain was familiar enough that Dean wasn't bothered by it. Cas's. . . attentions had loosened up his muscles enough that it was more of a dull ache than anything. His cock still hung heavy between his legs, still leaking filthily everywhere, twitching as Cas filled him slowly, pushing in as far as he could.

"Nn. . . Dean you're so _tight_."

"Yeah. . . It's been a while." Dean groaned, pushing his ass back onto that thick cock. "Oh! Fuck yeah." It felt so fucking good, that hot thick muscle filling him up just right.

"We should wait a month and see what it's like next time." Castiel mused.

"No. . . No I don't think it would be much different. . . Come on now. Move."

"Right." Cas pulled back, almost pulling all the way out before snapping his hips forward again.

"Oh _fuck. . ."_

_"_Mmm Dean. . ." Cas set his pace, fucking in and out of Dean's tight heat. He seemed to favor pulling all the way out and quickly burying his dick to the hilt, which made the hunter see stars because it was shoved right up against his prostate. The slick, dirty sounds of Cas's dick pumping in and out were getting louder and it only served to turn the hunter on even more. It'd been so long since he felt this. There was no helping the desperate sounds escaping his mouth, no preventing the way he pressed back trying to meet Cas's cock every time he thrust in deep. He was panting now, his arousal flaring. Cas's cock filled him up so perfectly. He couldn't get over how fucking awesome it felt.

He felt his hard cock slapping against his stomach with every forward thrust and he cried out, wanting so bad to touch himself, or have Cas touch _him. . . _do fucking _something. _Every thrust was like a shock to his system, the tension building and building but never pushing enough to the edge. It was sweet, hot torture. He looked back at Castiel.

"Cas. . ." he moaned as Cas angled himself so he was hunched over Dean, kissing and sucking at his neck as he fucked into him hard and fast. Dean arched his back, pressing firmly against the angel's hips, eliciting a deep groan from him. He smirked, clenching his muscles down on that cock and making Cas moan.

"Mmmm, Dean. . ."

"Yeah? You like that?" He squeezed tighter, drawing raspy groans from his angel as he fucked himself helplessly into Dean. Dean blushed, doing it again. Cas fucking _whimpered._ "Shit. . . D-Does it feel good?"

"A-Ah yes. . . Dean it feels incredible. It's so hot and _tight_. . ." Dean braced himself as Cas pounded into him, pushing Dean down on the couch as he fucked him mercilessly. For some reason, the knowledge that Cas was feeling good did wonders for Dean's ego and it turned him on so hard that Cas was having a hard time keeping control.

"God yeah, just like that. . ." He moaned as Cas sped up, pounding into his prostate.

Cas laughed against his ear, the sinful sound making his cock pulse with need. Cas hiked his arm under Dean's leg, flipping him onto his back while still buried inside. He pushed in until he couldn't anymore at an angle before he stilled, spreading Dean's legs widely and stroking his thighs. Cas leaned down, kissing Dean hotly, tongues wrapping around each other. Dean wrapped his arms around the angel's neck, willing him to flatten himself against Dean's torso so there would be at least _some _friction, even if it was only his dick sandwiched between their bodies.

The kiss was hot though. . .

As their tongues played with each other, Cas's hips surged forward, never really pulling out, but making Dean moan into his mouth all the same. Cas pinned Dean's hand's to the sides of his head as they fucked—Every pull of his cock dragging sinfully against Dean's prostate and he clenched tightly around him with each thrust. A powerful heat was building between them, now. Their movements were synchronized and each served to bring the other to the precipice of their pleasure. Dean was panting hotly, going crazy with the sensation.

"Dean you're so beautiful like this." Cas's eyes were dark with lust as he looked down at him.

"C-Cas." Dean looked away, wanting to dispute that statement but not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Not just physically." Cas was breathless as he spoke, but he kept on. "You close yourself off, pushing down all your troubles, but when you're delirious with pleasure you're the most open and honest person in the world. You're green eyes just _glow _and it's beautiful." Dean breathed heavily, heart clenching at the word as it was so easily said again. Dean wasn't stupid, he knew he was attractive physically but he'd always assumed the ugliness inside would reflect outside and how could anybody want someone like that long term? But the way Cas called him beautiful felt like it was more than skin deep and he felt tears pricking at his eyes because _fuck_. . . Cas knew him inside and out and he _still _liked him. Still _loved _him. "Sex, for me, isn't dependent on my physical pleasure. Seeing you like this is what makes me _come._" Dean cried out, feeling like he could come from that sentence alone, but then Cas shifted Dean's hips a bit and managed to penetrate even _deeper. _

The pressure on his sweet spot was never let up and Cas drove into it with sharp jerks as he had Dean pinned to the couch, kissing him and whispering sweet words as they fucked. He wanted to tell Cas the same. . . Maybe he could get off on physical pleasure alone but every orgasm with Cas had been his best ones and it was simply because he loved watching Cas feel good—Loved seeing the angel lose control and show him that passion that was buried just below the surface. It had always been that way.

He wanted so badly to tell him that, but he couldn't.

"Dean. . .I know your body and you're so close. . . you're clenching around me and it feels so _good._" His voice was rough now. Dean moaned into Cas's mouth as he felt a strong hand wrap around his cock, stroking it in time with each powerful thrust. "I'm buried all the way inside of you, do you feel it?" Cas whispered into his ear. He pulled out all the way and slammed his dick right back in, thrusting deeply before doing it again and making Dean's body arch as he hit his prostate head on just like he owned it.

"Yeah, Cas. . ." He breathed against his angel's lips. "So good. . . You feel so good, man. So fucking close." He buried his fingers in dark hair and threw his head back. Dean could hear the wet slick sound of Cas's dick pounding his ass and it turned him on impossibly more. Cas's hand sped up as he stroked Dean's cock, thumbing the sensitive slit and squeezing the top. Dean looked straight into his eyes, his angel's eyes as the coil in his belly started to tighten and he cried out, body shaking as he was pulled closer to his orgasm. "Cas. . .A-Ah I'm gonna. . ._Fuck!_". Dean clutched at the angel's shoulders, pulling the angel close and pressing their foreheads together. Cas was looking back at him, mouth open and beautiful blue eyes dark with lust as he pumped Dean's cock quickly, fucking him hard and fast and striking deep inside of him just perfectly. Dean jerked, moaning as he could see the hot pleasure tightening the angel's face. Cas's was moaning deeply now, his cock throbbing inside of Dean's ass. It was all so much. . . too much and Dean was coming. He could feel the heat in his balls push up his dick and _fuck_.Pulse after pulse of come spilled all over the angel's hand. Cas fucked into him deep, moaning against Dean's lips as he reached his own high. Dean could feel every throb and it was just so _hard. _He wouldn't last more than a minute now.

"D-Dean. . . I'm. . . uhn. . . I can't. . ." Castiel pumped heavily into him, his thrusts jerky and uneven. Dean stroked his back, squeezing tightly around Cas's cock as he reached ecstasy. Dean shivered as he felt Grace tingle over his skin, the lights flickering in the room, but at once they stopped. No broken bulbs this time. Awesome.

"That's right, Cas, let it go." Cas bit his lip, huffing in a wrecked manner against his neck, his hips jerking forward into Dean's ass, spilling everything he had into it. It was hot and suddenly very wet and Dean grimaced just a bit at thought of the mess he'd have to clean up but he didn't have the heart to tell Cas to pull out. Besides, if he were perfectly honest with himself, it was a little hot knowing he was full of Cas's come. It may or may not have triggered a few more spasms in him just thinking about it. Dean grinned as Cas's didn't cease for a good few minutes, that hot dick still spurting its seed deep inside of him. Dean clenched around it, milking everything out of it. "Mmm. . . Is it that good?" Cas moaned, kissing Dean as Cas fucked him slow and deeply, dragging out the last of his orgasm.

Cas slumped over him, body suspiciously lacking sweat unlike Deans but hot all the same.

"There are no words." Dean grinned smugly.

"I'll take that as a yes." Cas's dick was pulled out with a wet sound and Dean grimaced at the feeling of come leaking down his crack. Dean patted Cas's back for the angel to get up but Cas merely wrapped himself more securely around Dean, assuming the cuddling position. "Are you serious?"

"I have to. . ." Dean rolled his eyes, relaxing into Cas's embrace and trying to ignore the stickiness and sudden coldness of the room.

"Man you could father an _army. _The couch is ruined."

"I can easily remedy that. I'm an angel." Dean snorted.

"An angel that needs to cuddle. How threatening is that?"

"I can be very intimidating, Dean. You know that." Dean felt Cas's shoulders shift and he imagined Cas's wings spreading out threateningly. Dean chuckled. Leave it to him to get saddled with a peacocking bird-man.

"I can imagine you comparing your wing sizes up there."

"You would be surprised at how common it is." Castiel confirmed.

"Are you for real?"

"I'm very real." Dean laughed that time.

"Oh my God. Who has the biggest wings? Michael?" Dean thought he felt Castiel smile against his neck.

"Even my wings are bigger than Michaels." Dean laughed.

"Now you're just bragging!" Dean hit him on the back, playfully.

"Gabriel has the biggest wings." He said plainly. "But mine are the only black ones."

"That's awesome."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, your wings are awesome. You should totally let them out more." There was a displacement of air and suddenly Dean was shrouded in black. Dean was met with a mouthful of feathers and he sputtered, wiping them away from his face. He laughed as some of the feathers tickled his sides. Cas was smiling and they stopped moving. Dean started stroking the feathers; It was like a waterfall of black silk and it was gorgeous. Dean only wished there was some sunlight so he could see all the other colors of Cas's wings. "Why do you keep them hidden? It's not like they're gonna burn out my eyes anymore."

"I keep them concealed because they can be a hindrance when there are so many things to topple over." He bit his lip, watching Dean gently running his fingers through the inky black feathers, making Cas shiver under his touch. "If you want to see them, you need only to ask." Cas muttered, spreading his wing to give Dean better access. Cas lay his head on the hunter's chest and allowed Dean to straighten out the feathers, grooming him.

"Do they always get messed up like this?" Dean wondered aloud.

"Only after a lot of physical activity." Dean felt just a little smug at that.

"Can't you straighten it out with Grace?"

"I can." Castiel acknowledged, but said no more. Dean smirked. Why _wouldn't _Cas take advantage of a free petting?

"So what? I'm your personal groomer?" He could feel Cas smile against his neck and that was okay. Dean liked touching Cas's feathers and it was kind of awesome being the only one able to do this, the only one Castiel let touch him like this. He raked his fingers through each plume, massaging the delicate skin of the wrist and axillar.

"Mmmm. . . " He felt Cas groan low in his throat and it reminded the hunter of a cat purring. A very big cat. Cas was kissing his neck softly now and Dean chuckled at just how affectionate the angel was getting just by being touched like this.

"You're enjoying this too much." Cas chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to Dean's lips and pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I love it when you touch me." Dean blushed, trying hard not to analyze all of the implications of that statement. _Me _as in Cas's true form. He looked away from those piercing blue eyes, fingers tightening in black feathers.

"Y-Yeah well I just really like your wings so don't go getting excited."

"Of course, Dean."

"Dean don't you think water is better than coffee?" Dean rolled his eyes, biting his pencil because he just had _one _more word to find in this crossword puzzle. Cas _would_ pick that moment to start bitching too. Dean decided that the 'pretending I didn't hear you' method would have to suffice. He sipped his blackest-black joe and started scanning the page for _multitudes._

It lasted _almost _a minute.

"Dean. . ."

"_What_, Cas?" Dean scowled in Castiel's direction, _really _not in the mood for a lecture. Castiel sighed, standing up.

"At least drink as much water as you do coffee." Dean put down his book and his coffee and sent a scathing look in the angel's direction. Cas sat on the blue striped chair in the corner, his posture rigid and lips pursed tightly. Castiel really was worked up about this thing, apparently. Dean wouldn't be able to ignore it.

"If my baby can handle Jack Daniels, I'm sure a little coffee won't hurt."

"Yes, but you need to stay healthy, Dean. I'm not just worried about the baby. Caffeine is a dehydrator." He paused, looking away. "Water will offset that at the very least. It's also one of the most effective ways to avoid stretch marks—" Dean shook his head, his entire being halting at those two words.

"Stretch marks?!" Dean shrieked.

"Yes, your belly is going to be growing at a very fast rate. Skin is very elastic but it can only handle so much stress. But don't worry too much about that, because I—" Dean was in the kitchen before Castiel could finish. There was no way _Dean Winchester _was getting stretch marks!

"Water it is! " The kitchen was a little cool as he walked into it and he noticed his hips were aching slightly.

_Well you _are _supporting a baby on top of them. . ._

Dean sighed as he grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it up with water. Apart from the whole vomiting thing, he was hoping he wouldn't start getting aches and pains until he started getting bigger. Because he would, wouldn't he? It wasn't like Dean didn't know how pregnant people ended up—Belly sticking disproportionately far out and hobbling all over the place like a backwards turtle. Dean supposed he would eventually, too.

He rubbed his belly as he walked back out to the living room. It was hard and protruding still very slightly. It shouldn't really have been that much of strain on his hips. He didn't think he was gaining _that _much weight. . . Maybe they would get a scale the next time they went into town.

Dean stood in front of Castiel and drank half the glass down in one gulp, watching the angel the entire time. Castiel blinked as Dean set the glass down on the end table next to the crossword puzzle book. Dean picked the book up as he sat down and looked at Castiel's dumbstruck expression.

"What?" Dean demanded. Castiel looked away, still looking very confused.

"I didn't think you were going to actually listen to me." Dean snorted, picking up his pencil and hunting for the word that eluded him.

"Small miracles, huh? Like I _want _to have stretch marks." Castiel opened his mouth as though he were about to comment on that before shutting it, shaking his head and smiling.

"Some mothers view their stretch marks as homage to their battles during their pregnancy." Dean narrowed his eyes.

"I don't need to be reminded about peeing every hour of the day and having Sam-strength gas." Dean didn't need to look up to know Castiel had a smug grin on his face. Castiel was always looking out for him, never mind the fact that he could be downright _annoying _about it, but Castiel was always worrying about Dean's health. Dean supposed he couldn't fault the angel for that. Dean was growing _his _baby inside his belly right now, after all.

Speaking of which. . .

Dean put his crossword back onto the end table, fortifying his will for the conversation that was about to take place. "Cas, we need to talk. . ." Castiel tilted his head.

"I hardly think that to be something we would necessitate seeing as we do it often enough." Dean shook his head, his fists clenching because how the _fuck _was he going to start this conversation?

"No, I mean. . . It's something important we need to talk about." Cas narrowed his eyes and tilted his head in confusion.

"Why didn't you say that, then?" Dean glared at him and Cas shut his mouth instantly, the receiver of that dangerous gaze one too many times to know by now when to shut the hell up. Dean let the heat fall from his glare and his shoulders slumped. He rested an elbow on the arm of the couch and ran his fingers through his short hair.

"We're going to be having a baby." Dean stated.

"Yes. Either a boy or a girl." Dean's heart started to pound in excitement at that, but he stayed on track. He couldn't lose his nerve half-way through.

"Right. . . And we've agreed that we're going to raise it. . . _t-together_, right?" Castiel nodded.

"Yes. . . I believe we've established this." Castiel drew his eyebrows together and that worried frown appeared between them.

"I mean this thing we have." He gestured vaguely to the space between them, not looking at Cas. "Whatever this is. . . I know it's nothing like what I used to do with girls at the bars. . . Those didn't mean anything at all because I knew most likely I would never see their faces again. They weren't anything. They literally meant nothing." Dean grappled for an explanation, "We fucked and then they left, but with you we fuck and you stay. . . You know? That's not _nothing, _you see?" Castiel shook his head and Dean put his face in his hands, feeling it burning hot because _fuck!_ Why did he have to have this kind of conversation? "Look I've been with a very small amount of people that wanted anything to do with me past sex and even _they _didn't compare to this whatever we have going on. . ." Castiel was silent for a moment before he spoke, his voice careful as though not to anger a wild animal.

"Dean I'm not quite sure where this conversation is leading."

"What I'm talking about is the kind of relationship that means we don't see other people. . . the kind where we share just about everything and we live together and stuff."

"A romantic relationship." Dean blushed.

"Yeah that. . ." Castiel nodded, tilting his head at Dean in that cute puppy dog way.

"Now what about it?" Dean swallowed because seriously, Cas was going to make him say it, wasn't he? That bastard, he probably knew exactly what Dean was getting at. Dean ground his teeth together.

"_This" _he gestured again between them. "This thing between us is. . . I mean I know I'm not very good at navigating relationships but it seems like that's what this is. . . well it's becoming _something_, you know. . .?" Castiel's expression took a hard edge and his shoulder's shifted irritably.

"Dean. . . You've already told me how you feel about that. I don't need you to tell me again how you don't want there to be anything like that between us." Castiel stood up and strode to the doorway. Dean shook his head, going after Cas.

"Cas, that's not what I—"

"I need some air." Castiel opened the door and froze, staring up at something and Dean frowned because what the hell?

"Cas?" Dean walked behind him and froze when he saw not _what _Castiel was staring at but _who. _Long hair and taller than any natural human. . . "Sammy. . ." Dean's voice was barely above a whisper as the panic rose up in his chest because how could he _forget_. Of course Sam had known where they were. Of course Sam would findthem and it only occurred to Dean just how much _danger _he'd been in this whole time.

Sam stood there with a frown on his face, looking from Castiel to Dean in an instant. Relief flooded his features as he laid eyes on Dean, and no sooner did sadness replace it.

"I thought I'd never find you."

::

Please check out the new fanart provided by my friend msfotaku on tumblr. You can find it on the seeinginblack dot tumblr dot com blog! thank you!


	14. Brother's Keeper

So, writing this chapter I realized I never gave a name to the place they are hiding-AT LEAST I BELIEVE I DIDN'T! If you read this and then realize that I actually DID give the name in a previous chapter, please tell me, because for the life of me I can't find it and I can't remember whether I did or not. It's not a BIG deal but it's big enough to raise eyebrows if someone's like "What. . . I thought they were in _?!" So please don't be confused if that's the case. This fic is long in the making, and it's hard to keep track of these things.

(tl;dr: I suck at remembering things please help)

As always this is unbeta'd. There is porn, there is swearing, there is male pregnancy yadda yadda Warning for badly placed flashback. . .

::

Two pairs of green eyes locked onto each other, and Dean used this opportunity to see if Sam was planning anything or not. He was no mind reader, but he'd been around Sam long enough to know when he was up to no good. Sam simply looked worried and that was a good thing, right? Castiel still separated them, his shoulders shifting and his body tense. Dean put his hand on the angel's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. The tension broke and Cas looked back at him, raising an eyebrow.

"It's okay, Cas. Sam's not gonna hurt me." He explained. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Of course I'm not, Dean." He said, irritated. "Why would you even think that in the first place?"

"At the time I was kind of going on auto pilot, Sam." Dean said with a sigh. "I couldn't take any risks and both of us have a habit of taking care of business whether the other approves or not."

"Dean I'm your _brother_." Sam emphasized. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, and I know the difference between monsters and innocents." Sam looked meaningfully at Cas, and Dean suddenly felt ashamed. He didn't even know why he'd got all panicky in the first place. Sam had become friends with Cas just like him and hadn't ever tried to kill Cas behind his back.

It all just seemed silly now—this running away to a remote house in the boonies thing. To escape what? Sam? If Sam wouldn't kill an Cas, what made Dean think he was going to kill an angel that was his own flesh and blood?

Dean beckoned Sam inside and shut the door. Sam looked around, taking in Dean and Cas's makeshift home and smiling a bit.

"This is a nice little place you go—" His eyes widened as Cas's fingers descended onto his forehead, his body seizing up. In not more than two seconds, Cas pulled back. "What the hell Cas?" Sam demanded, wincing, his body wracked with tremors.

"I had to make sure you were telling the truth." Cas said. "There are many who threaten our safety here, and we can't afford to be careless." Sam glared a little, raising an eyebrow.

"Well do I pass your _test,_ then?" He spat irritably.

"You do. You have no ill intentions here." Cas was still glaring at him as he spoke. Sam rolled his eyes again, looking back to his brother. Dean felt really guilty now.

"Sam I'm really sorry. . ." He explained, rubbing his neck nervously. "It's like I have these uncontrollable reactions to stuff now. All I could think of at the time was protect, protect, _protect_. Seriously it was like I had no other choice." Sam frowned, nodding in understanding.

"Whatever, man. I get it." He said. "All I demand as an apology is to be able to touch your belly whenever I want." Dean snorted and grinned, pulling his brother into a tight hug.

"All you want, man." He promised, patting Sam on the back. "It's good to see you." Sam hugged him back tightly before pulling away and quickly digging his hands under Dean's shirt. Dean saw Cas stiffen out of the corner of his eye, shoulders shifting like they did when he was irritated. Dean smirked. Cas was so cute, all overprotective. _Don't want Sam touching what's yours, buddy?_

Sam's always warm hands pushed slightly against his swell and his face lit up.

"This is actually happening!" He said in awe, looking at Dean for confirmation. Dean bit down a grin.

"It is." Sam's eyes were alight with excitement and he grinned.

"I'm going to be an uncle!" Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. . ." Sam pressed again, shaking his head, unable to stop smiling.

"It's so hard! I know in women it's their uterus, but what would it be for you?" Dean made a face, pushing Sam's hands away.

"Hell if I know, man." Sam looked at him in concern.

"Wait. . . So you're going through a pregnancy and you don't even know what's happening inside of you?" He said skeptically.

"Gabriel never went into details and I didn't see why I should ask." Dean shrugged, moving to sit on the couch. "I'm having a baby, Sam. It's coming whether I know how or not." Sam rolled his eyes, taking his hands away and joining him. Castiel was still as stiff as a board, brooding in the corner and glaring at Sam. Dean thought it was the funniest shit. . . .

"That's so like you." Sam said, rolling his eyes. "Gabriel?" He called out. Dean's eyes caught Gabriel in the corner opposite Castiel and he frowned. That angel had been suspiciously absent during the last week.

"Dumb and Dumber reunited at last." He drawled. "How touching."

"Nice to see you too." Dean bit out. "Would have been nice if you'd come around sooner."

"I was busy." Gabriel didn't offer any more than that before turning to Sam. "You called?"

"Could you please explain to us what's happening inside of my brother?" Sam gestured to Dean, frowning. "Why didn't you tell him before?"

"He never asked!" Gabriel said in defense, throwing up his arms. Sam shook his head.

"Well I am!" Gabriel waved his hand in dismissal.

"Okay okay. Sit down, puppies. Daddy's got a story tell."

Gabriel spent that afternoon and evening explaining all of the physical changes Dean was going through. Apparently what he'd given Dean with that kiss was something like a miniature uterus—Travel sized. It was somehow hooked up to Dean's ass (as he'd so crudely put it). He'd started it off in it's ovulation cycle which is why it had been so easy for Dean to get pregnant.

Gabriel explained the cycles the uterus goes through and how it differs from women to Dean. In theory, if fertilization hadn't occurred, Dean would have been going through something of a menstruation. He wouldn't bleed, but the bloating and cramps would persist. He explained how his uterus was growing now, making a little home for the baby to live in while it matured. This was why his stomach was getting so hard. He explained the growth of the placenta and umbilical cord, basically where the baby was going to be getting all of its nutrients; The barrier between mother (or in this case, father) and child.

He explained why Dean was sore all the time, even though he hadn't gained that much weight; His bones were literally loosening, getting ready for birth. It was a pointless hormone, however, because Dean would be having a cesarean section when he did go into labor.

Dean asked why he even needed that hormone if that were the case. Gabriel explained that, in the event that there was no choice but for Dean to give a natural birth, his body would be ready. Dean didn't even _want_ the details of how _that_ would go down.

Sam wouldn't stop touching his belly, and Cas was glaring the whole time. Dean felt the strong urge to kiss and hug Cas's worries away, but he couldn't. He remembered the last time Sam had caught them together and it'd been the most mortifying experience ever. He tried to catch Castiel's gaze but the angel seemed to be avoiding him. Rightly so too; Cas hadn't reacted well to Dean's attempt at 'relationship talk'. He'd taken it all the wrong way and Dean knew it was his fault. He was terrible when it came to things like words.

He supposed he'd have to try again later. It was a little hard to pick up now when Sam and Gabriel were here.

An speaking of Gabriel. . .

The angel hadn't left since Sam called him. Sam was checking out Dean's laptop and Gabriel, while uninterested, seemed to be glued to his hip. They were playing a game called 'Logos' and Sam was making Gabriel tell him some of the answers since Gabriel had probably seen fifteen billion logos in his time on Earth.

Dean used this time to slip out and find the angel. They really needed to talk.

Dean had looked everywhere, but Cas was nowhere to be found. He stood in the hallway, hands on his hips as he searched his mind for places Cas might be. Oh. . . The roof! He hadn't checked there yet.

He jumped when he felt cold fingers slide under his shirt from behind and wrap around his belly. His heart pounded a mile a minute as he turned his head, seeing Cas anchor his chin onto Dean's shoulder.

"Way to give me a heart attack." He said, glaring. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you."

"I was on the roof."

"I knew it!" Dean tried to turn around, but Cas held him still, his hands tightening around him, pressing against his belly until they were flush together back to front. Dean shivered and his voice was a little shaky when he spoke. "What's gotten into you?"

"Sam was touching you." The angel deadpanned. Dean rolled his eyes.

"He was just excited, man. Sam's going to be doing it a lot now, so you better get used to it." Cas's hands tightened around him possessively and he felt the tension fill the warm body around him. He chuckled, patting Castiel's hands and relaxing a little in the embrace. "It's still your baby, Cas. You can touch me whenever you want."

"Mine." Cas breathed against his neck and Dean shivered, his stomach fluttering at the no-room-for-argument tone of voice. Dean was just a little too breathless when he spoke again.

"Yeah yours. . ." The hunter pulled away, feeling his hands go clammy, because the thought of this conversation had him really stressed out. "Um hey. . . About yesterday before Sam came—" Castiel sighed, rolling his eyes and turning away.

"Dean, I really don't want to talk about that. I told you, I understand. I don't like it, but I get it, so just—" Dean grabbed his hands, forcing Cas to look into his eyes.

"No you don't get it. Cas look. . . I really, really suck with words and this is really hard for me to say, so you just gotta shut up and let me get it out, alright?" The angel looked suspicious but nodded anyways, not saying a word. Dean sighed, looking around nervously, courage dropping to negative levels. God he was so pathetic. "Actually, I-I don't know if this is the best time to talk about this. . . I mean, we're in a hallway." He reasoned. He didn't want Sam walking in on them because what if it was at a really bad place and Cas took it wrong again? "H-How about I just tell you right now that talk about this relationship business doesn't end at never, okay? So you don't need to be all cranky." It was a moment before Cas nodded slowly, the tension leaving his shoulders. Dean smiled, hands moving up to Cas's upper arms and rubbing soothingly. "That's it."

"I'm sorry I got so upset yesterday, Dean. I don't know what came over me." Cas smiled guiltily, and Dean shrugged.

"Whatever. Not your fault, man." He grinned. "Even regular people don't understand it when I want to talk seriously, so I'm lucky I've even gotten this far with you." Castiel's lips quirked upwards and he pulled Dean close again, meeting Dean's gaze.

"What's Sam doing?" He said lowly.

"Playing some dumb game on the computer with Gabriel." Castiel looked thoughtful.

"So he's a little preoccupied." Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Yes. . .?" Castiel suddenly pulled Dean flush against him, lips not an inch apart. He was smirking now and Dean laughed, pushing him away. "Come on now. Sam's right in the next room."

"I just want a kiss." Castiel reasoned.

"This is not the 'just a kiss' position, you sneaky bastard." Suddenly he felt Cas's hands scratch lightly at his sides under his shirt and he tried to jerk away, laughing a bit. "Cas!" Cas chased him, pushing him gently against the wall and tickling him. "S-Stop that!"

"I learned about this yesterday. This is called tickling. It's more amusing than I imagined." Cas kept on, tickling Dean's sides and armpits and anywhere Dean wasn't blocking. Dean was giggling uncontrollably now, trying to smack Cas's hands away.

"S-Stop!" Cas moved in close, stilling his hands until they rested under his shirt and Dean looked into his gorgeous blue eyes, droopy and just completely perfect. He was excited. . . To just kiss Cas while someone might just walk in? It shouldn't have sounded like such a good idea, but it did. He realized only then how close they were. He looked down at Cas's slightly chapped lips, so thick and perfect and he could just kiss him now and nobody would know. He looked up into Cas's eyes again, nodding almost imperceptibly. He knew Cas would see it, though.

He leaned in, hands wrapping firmly around Dean's waist as their lips met in a gentle kiss that drove the butterflies in Dean's stomach insane. After a moment so brief it should have been illegal, He pulled away, looking into Cas's eyes again. "There." He said, breathlessly. "One kiss." Castiel pressed against him again, kissing him firmly. Dean laughed and pulled back, fingers burying themselves into Cas's dark hair. "That was two!"

"I can't just kiss you once." Cas whined.

"Cheater." Cas laughed against his lips, causing goosebumps to rise up on his arms. Cas kissed him again, moaning softly into Dean's mouth. He swiped his tongue against Dean's lower lip making the hunter groan before pulling back. "We can't. . ." He protested. Cas kissed him gently again, just a peck and, at the same time, trailing his fingers up and down his sides in a completely non-tickling manner.

"Just a little bit?" Cas bargained. Dean was losing more and more sense with each press of Cas's lips, the touch of his soft fingers, the smell of Earth and air seeping into his senses. Lust wrapped around his lower belly as Cas's tongue entered his mouth, swiping his playfully, questioning, _daring._ Dean couldn't deny it, licking back and allowing them to tangle together.

He loved how the angel pinned him against the wall, powerful arms holding him, as he kissed Dean senseless. The hunter's mind was currently entertaining many ideas now—Ideas that may or may not have included finding their bedroom and locking the door, getting Cas out of his clothes, and showing Cas what sex with Dean was _really_ like.

Dean had been kind of reluctant with the whole gay sex thing, but now he kind of wanted to show Cas how much of a bad boy he could be. He smirked at the thought. Cas had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Dean breathed hard against Cas's lips, feeling his dick stir as the angel squeezed his ass with both hands. Dean pulled away, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Someone's a little feisty today."

"Well, I keep thinking of this morning." Cas's hand moved down as he kissed Dean, lifting Dean's leg as he thrust hard against him. Dean could feel the bulge there and he moaned, pushing back.

"Mmm, yeah this morning. . ." Dean purred, pushing up against Cas's hardening cock pressed hard into his hip. Castiel started sucking on his neck, falling into a slow grind with Dean. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's neck, pulling him closer, wanting to feel more and more. Cas was moaning softly—He could feel the vibrations in his own throat and it was so fucking hot. Dean was held up effortlessly, and the hunter would have been perfectly content pressed against the wall, legs wrapped around Cas, and grinding their dicks together slowly just like they were. He could have done that for the rest of the day, but life wasn't so simple.

Behind them, there was a loud clearing throat and Dean all but shoved Cas away, stumbling back on his feet as he lost the support under his ass. His heart pounded as he looked up at the amused face his brother standing at the doorway.

"Is this the real reason you needed to run five-hundred miles? To _Graysville_?" Sam said with a smirk. Dean suspected he was as red as a fire hydrant now. Yeah. . . Graysville, PA was pretty bum-fuck nowhere.

"L-Look, Sam I. . ." Sam laughed, waving his hand.

"I'm pretty sure you didn't get pregnant from the stork, Dean." Castiel looked to Dean strangely at that. Dean shook his head, ignoring him, letting him know that 'now was not the time to explain the 'stork'. "I'm not an idiot. If you want to talk about it, that's fine. If you don't want to talk about it, whatever. Point is; You like dick. I get that. . . I mean it's weird since you've only been with women ever. . . Also knowing my big brother is fucking an angel is kinda—"

"Sam are we seriously talking about this right now? In the _hallway_?" Sam raised a brow.

"Yes because you would otherwise avoid it. I just want you to know it doesn't matter who you're sleeping with. I still love you." Dean noticed Sam pointedly looking up, eyes never leaving his face and Dean looked down, seeing the prominent tent in his pants. Mortification didn't do the feeling in him justice and he pulled at the sides of his face with his hands. He looked to Cas and noticed he was suffering the same problem. Oh jeez. . . Dean could only imagine how this looked.

Sam backed away, clearing his throat again, uncomfortably. "Right, well I'm going to go downstairs and see what Gabriel's up to. You guys. . . er. . . freshen up or something." He shook his head, still avoiding looking _anywhere_ and the older Winchester flushed a dark magenta, glaring. Sam escaped and the tension left Dean instantly.

He felt Cas wrap his arms around him, hands sneaking up his shirt to wrap around his belly. The angel softly kissed the back of his neck and Dean leaned into him.

"Evidently you had nothing to worry about Sam catching us doing sexual things."

"Except the fucking awkwardness. . . Sam's tact is almost as bad as yours." He shivered as Cas started sucking a hickey where he was kissing before. Dean swatted him away, fighting down a grin. Cas whined.

"I may be not be good at 'reading the moment', but I suspect that was Sam's way of telling us to continue."

"We have to make dinner, Cas." Dean stressed.

"What I'm planning right now won't take long. . ."

::

Dean bit back a moan, feeling Cas's mouth cover his boxers, sucking on the head of his cock right under it. The angel was massaging his hips with his soft-yet-strong hands. The hunter's fingers were already buried in Cas's hair, tickling his scalp and urging him closer. He felt that hot tongue tease through the slit of the fabric and he let out a soft moan. Cas pulled back, looking up at Dean playfully.

"I would tease you more, but we're pressed for time." The boxers were pulled down, freeing Dean's erection completely, and no sooner was it engulfed in the delicious, wet heat that he was learning to be Cas's mouth. Cas's tongue wrapped around it, licking the underside and dragging along as that mouth took him deeper and deeper. So hot. . . So gorgeous sucking his dick, messy dark hair and ice blue eyes looking up at him with Dean's dick shoved half-way down his throat. Dean bit his lip, cheeks flushing at the sight because _damn_, Cas was hot.

"C-Cas. . ." He whined. Cas sucked him hard, pinning Dean's hips to the wall and taking him in and out fast, setting a brutal pace meant to get Dean off as quickly as possible and it was working. Dean was twisting against the wall, wanting to thrust in and out but not being able to as Cas was basically dragging him into ecstasy by force with his fingers digging into the bruises already on his hips. He was so close. . . So close, but Dean had enough sense to notice Cas hadn't been touching himself and he whined, not wanting to be the only one getting off. "Nnnn Cas stop. . . Cas please. . .A-Ah!" Cas popped off him with a loud smack and Dean blushed, watching his cock twitch dangerously as it bobbed in the air. He had been this close to coming!

"What is it, Dean? Does it not feel good?" Castiel looked at him worriedly. Dean tightened his fingers at the base of Cas's scalp, willing himself to regain control and not thrust right back into that beckoning heat of his mouth. And Cas was asking for it, pink lips wet and open and ready to be painted with come but no no no _no_. He shook his head, more to himself than to Cas.

"It feels beyond incredible man. . .I was about to come." He breathed, his voice low and gruff. Cas purred, stroking Dean's hip softly, hand skirting around Dean's flushed cock, the length glistening with saliva and precome.

"Mmmm yes," Cas agreed with purr. which leaves me to wonder why you told me to stop?"

How could he say this without sounding like a freakin' girl? "I-It feels better knowing you're feeling good too. . ." Cas raised his eyebrows, blushing very slightly.

"You want to perform fellatio on me, as well?" Dean felt his face burn crimson. Oh God. . . Did Cas just imply that they should six-nine? He couldn't help but imagine taking Cas's long dick in his mouth, licking it and feeling how hot it was, how heavy. . . Letting Cas fuck his mouth while Dean fucked his. . . oh. . .oh! He shook his head violently.

"N-No! I-I mean um. . . what I mean is. . ." He pulled Cas to his feet, kissing him hotly. He kissed along the angel's jaw before, whispering in his ear. "I kinda want a repeat of this morning." Cas blinked, mouth opening and a hungry look took over his face.

"A-Are you not sore, Dean?" Dean blushed, smirking a bit, remembering Cas's attentions to his asshole.

"A little, but you took care of me real good before that, didn't you?" Dean felt his hole twitch just a bit thinking about how Cas used his tongue on him, eating him out like a girl. He bit his lip, curling his fingers into Cas's shirt and doing his best to look coy even though he knew he was anything but. "I'm still stretched out back there. . . I'm practically ready to take it so just. . ." Dean kicked away his jeans and turned around. He braced himself against the wall, pushing out his hips and spreading his legs invitingly.

He felt wet, lube slicked fingers pulling at his hole, dipping in all the way, two at once and he moaned. Cas answered with his own pleased sound.

"It's still so open, Dean." He marveled, fingers pulling up and then down, feeling just how relaxed Dean was. Dean gasped at suddenly having Cas's fingers start to fuck him as the angel nibbled on his ear. He bit back the whimpers forming in his throat. "You really want to?"

"Y-yeah." Dean blushed, closing his eyes tightly as he was aware this was really the first time Dean had ever initiated the whole anal thing. He felt something hot and blunt rubbing up against his hole, replacing those probing fingers. He pressed back against Cas, the head of his dick breaching so easily. Cas groaned low in his throat and pulled out with a wet pop. Dean let out a frustrated groan, pushing back and burying Cas's cock between his cheeks, trying to get the head to catch again.

"Dean. . ." Cas's voice was strained with the control he was trying to display. Dean would have none of that nonsense today.

"Cas. . . Seriously I told you I'm ready," Dean said, biting his lip as his stomach filled with anticipation. God he wanted so bad for Cas to fuck him right now. Fuck him right here against the wall. Dean resisted the urge to just start begging for it. He cried out when that hot dick finally slipped inside, not wasting time and slamming in all the way to the hilt. Dean stood shaking on his feet, panting because his ass was so full. . . So full of Cas's cock. "Fuck. . ."

Dean's eyes fluttered shut and he choked on a moan, enjoying the feel of the angel inside of him. It wasn't long before Cas started moving, dragging out and in in long strokes, fucking him slowly from behind. He could feel Cas's lips on his neck, sucking and biting and letting out low moans and obscure whispers in Enochian. Dean reached back, pulling Cas's hip closer with his hand and pulling him flush against him. Before he knew it, that dick was pushed right up against his prostate and as deep as it possibly could go.

"Right there, Cas." He groaned, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation.

"Like this Dean?" Castiel pulled back and thrust hard into it. Dean cried out as he felt it hit dead on.

"Y-Yeah just like that." Dean gripped his cock in his right hand, which was already dripping wet. at this rate he would get off in no time.

It was scary how good this actually felt. . . Even without Cas hitting his sweet-spot, just being full of it, the feeling of cock dragging along his inner-walls—It was insane. The best thing, though, was giving Cas control like this—Cas knew just how he liked it and every movement, every thrust was directed to make Dean feel as much as possible. Really he'd been missing out the last twenty years. It was better than being the one to fuck—better than the tightest pussy.

What Dean couldn't understand is why he hadn't felt like this for any man ever before? And why did he so soon prefer this over something he'd been doing for his entire life? He'd never actually looked at men at bars and thought _Huh I could do with a cock in my ass tonight._ It had never even occurred to him that dicks could be attractive. He'd never really realized that he could think of guys sexually. Sure he could spot a hot guy and if they were charming enough, perhaps he didn't mind being hit on by them every now and then—It had always done wonders for his ego when Mr. Tall Dark and Sexy gave him the eye, but his wall always ended it at "Could I buy you a drink?" As Dean was sure to respond with an astute "Don't swing that way, dude, but good luck." And a wink. That was the extent of his frivolities with the male population.

The most gay he'd ever got before was a brief flirting battle that ended quickly enough.

*Dean had sat at the bar, sipping his beer slowly as he pored over a huge stack of case files. Dean was convinced it was vamps but Dean had a feeling it was werewolves. Next to him, the stool was suddenly occupied and he looked up briefly, sure that there were other stools open around him so it must have been a girl trying to pick him up—

—A guy, apparently.

The man was ordering two drinks and Dean looked up fully, surprise on his face. The guy was looking at him now appreciatively, showing Dean his perfectly white smile. His eyes were smoky gray, shadowed by eyelashes that should have only been on a girl. His hair was dark and cropped short, not as short as Deans, however.

He wore a dark red over-shirt over a black beater and jeans that were this side of too tight and Dean realized he was in the presence of a gay man.

A gay man who just bought him a drink.

Dean lifted a brow, taking the drink from the bartender and looking back to the guy as he knocked it back. Mystery man did the same and huddled a bit closer to Dean on the table, letting their knees brush just slightly.

"Your eyes remind me of four leaf clovers in spring and I hope that makes me a lucky man. I'm Jason, and you are?" Dean chuckled and scooted over, putting at least a little distance between them.

"Not drunk enough to let cheesy pick-up lines like that work on me." Dean said slyly. "Let alone flirt with another dude." Jason smirked, lifting a perfect eyebrow.

"The fact that you even would with more alcohol is encouraging." Dean snorted, sipping his beer.

"I flirt with everyone when I'm drunk."

"Then allow me to buy you a few more drinks."

Dean couldn't help but smirk at that, lifting an eyebrow and looking back at his papers.

"I can't tonight, bro. I have a lot of work to do here." He gestured to his messy pile of papers and folders. Dean could recognize a pout when he'd seen it.

"All work and no play? What, Are you a detective or something?"

"Something like that, yeah." Jason bit his lip, looking a bit hopeful as his hand squeezed Dean's arm gently. Dean felt butterflies rise in his chest at that. He still couldn't get over the thrill of a guy flirting with him so openly.

"The lighting's better at my place. . ." He suggested. Dean looked at him, pushing the man's hand away.

"Look man, thanks for the drink but really, it ain't happening. I like my partners a little more busty and you're really flat chested, no offense" Jason looked affronted, grabbing his chest.

"Are you kidding me? I may not have double Ds but at least they're real!" Dean laughed, pushing him away looked at him apologetically and the man sighed. "At least let me know the name of the straight-but-flirty detective with the pretty eyes I met at a bar." Dean had his alias on his tongue (Richard Geere), but bit his lip, not sure why he didn't want to give it.

"Dean." He said instead. "My name is Dean Winchester."

"Well, when you find yourself wanting to hop the hetero ship, Dean, give me a call." Dean laughed, turning back to his papers.

"You say that like it's actually going to happen." Jason smirked, giving him a sly little wink and stood up. He took Dean's hand in his and pressed it to his lips, looking at him with those penetrating gray eyes once again. Dean felt a fold of paper being pressed into his fingers. Dean bit his lip, feeling his face get hot.

"You never know when the right dick is going to come along."*

Oh and it _has_.

Dean felt moans escape his lips as Cas fucked him right proper and it was weird, but he wished he had Jason's phone number, not to hit him up on his offer but to tell the man he'd been so so _right._ Dick was a hidden treasure Dean should have discovered years ago.

And apparently Cas liked his ass because he hadn't once suggested switching places and Dean was fine with that. They'd had sex four times now and it was becoming clear that this arrangement was a good one that neither of them were willing to give up quite yet. If Cas wanted to try taking it someday, Dean would let him but until then, Dean wasn't complaining. He wondered if that's how Cas felt about topping? Maybe this was just how they both preferred it. . .

"Cas do you like this?" He asked. Cas paused, laughing against the sensitive hairs at the base of his neck.

"Does it really need saying?"

"I mean. . . always being the one to. . . I mean I feel kind of selfish here because you always make me feel so good." Cas groaned huskily when Dean clenched down on his cock, fucking hard into Dean a few times before slowing down.

"And you _don't_ make me feel good?"

"Cas I think you're underestimating the powers of butt-sex, here. Like seriously that little button in my ass." Cas thrust into him, hitting that very spot and Dean moaned. "Mmmm yeah that. . . God it makes it feel fucking better than any sex I've ever had."

"I understand that, Dean. But like I said before, the physical side of sex isn't the payoff for me. It's seeing your ecstasy that is a source of insurmountable pleasure on my end." Cas fucked hard into Dean, ripping a strangled cry from his hicky'd throat. Cas panted harshly, biting his ear, pistoning hard into Dean's tight heat. His voice was so broken as he spoke his next words and it only served to arouse Dean impossibly more. "Dean, it's your voice when you moan, the beautiful way you pant and move back onto me just to feel me more." Cas moaned, fucking harder, deeper, so perfect inside of Dean. "I love making you orgasm Dean. I love making you lose every ounce of control, tear away every mask and watch every wall come down as you lose yourself in this feeling." Dean blushed, feeling his cock twitch dangerously. He couldn't help the sounds coming from his mouth at that point. Cas's praising words may as well have been filth judging from the way it was affecting Dean—that and the fact that Cas's cock was currently pummeling his sweet spot.

"Ah, Cas fuck!" He gasped. Cas was getting harder, fucking into him roughly now. "F-Fuck yes just like that. . ." Dean whimpered, pushing back into Cas's hard thrusts. "C-Cas!"

"If doing this to you is what makes you come undone." Cas let out a cry, speeding up. "I know it's selfish, but I don't want to stop. . ." Cas was sucking on his neck now, fingers tweaking his hardened nipples but all Dean could register was sensation everywhere and it was too much. He couldn't believe it but his balls were tight and his hips were spasming, cock twitching like it was. . . Fuck.

For fuck's sake, he was coming. Cas hadn't even touched him.

"Beautiful." Cas groaned.

That was all it took.

"F-Fuck C-Cas I. . . " His words were a broken, pathetic thing but he was coming. He was coming so hard and he couldn't stop it.

Dean cried out, lights exploding in front of his eyes, knees going weak as his cock let out spurt after spurt of hot come against the blue wall of the bathroom. The orgasm seemed to be ripped from his very soul.

Cas let out something of a growl, muttering husky words in Enochian right into Dean's ear as the hunter came untouched. "Il chisa v ror, v graa, v adohi a aboapri a-ah. . ." The way Dean clamped down on him, combined with Cas's deep, staggered thrusting pushed the angel over the edge, biting down on Dean's shoulder as he came. Cas moaned sweetly in his ear and Dean shivered, rolling his hips back against Cas, feeling more aftershocks and he moaned. "Saah, Dean. . .Ol ialpon. . ."

Dean didn't understand a word of what was coming out of Cas's mouth but he could understand by how husky that voice was, how hot his breaths were that it was something good. "Yeah Cas. So good. . . Feels so good."

"Love you, Dean. love every part of you." Cas whispered in his ear, stilling as his high died down. Dean felt his face burn and he bit his lip, butterflies creating a storm in his stomach as the words reverberated in his throat.

"Y-You shouldn't. . ."

"I never had a choice." Cas murmured, turning him around and captured Dean in a searing kiss, licking into his mouth. Dean clutched the front of Cas' shirt, melting into the kiss as he was pressed against the wall. He knew Cas was telling the truth. He'd seen it in the connection and he could feel it in every kiss peppering his lips right now, every warm touch on his skin. He felt so fucking _loved_ and he knew he shouldn't like it. He shouldn't let himself get comfortable in Cas's warm embrace, because in a blink of an eye it could all be taken away. Everything could fall apart and Dean would be left alone.

He just didn't have it in him to care anymore.

Cas loved him and goddamn it that was kind of nice. Dean should really. . . God he really wanted Cas at this moment. The warmth of that unnamed feeling was knocking at the iron bars it was captive in, wanting so very much to escape and wrap itself up in Cas. Dean felt all of Cas's weight shift onto him and he chuckled.

"Cas." He said softly, stroking the angel's hair. "Cas we can't cuddle here," He only received a low grunt and more weight shifted on him in response. "Really, dude? Come on. You're heavy." Dean rolled his eyes when Cas didn't move an inch. He blushed, remembering the things Cas had said. "Cas you said something to me in Enochian I think. . . I didn't understand it." He felt Cas tense and shake his head.

"I-It's nothing. I was rambling. . . I don't even really remember what I said."

"Yes you do, asshole. Come on. tell me." Cas looked at him then and Dean saw it, the red staining his cheeks.

"T-The significance of my words are something that shouldn't be said so lightly. . . In both Enochian and English. . . B-But I did mean what I said." He kissed Dean softly. "Il chisa v ror, You are the sun," Kiss. "v graa. The moon," Kiss. Dean felt his face get ten degrees hotter. "v adohi a aboapri. . .The kingdom I serve." Cas nuzzled his lips against Dean's and the hunter's grip tightened on Cas's shirt allowing the words to sink in.

"You shouldn't waste such pretty words Cas—" Cas's hands were holding his face so that their eyes connected.

"No words could ever be wasted on you." Dean bit his lip again, flushing darkly. God, Dean would be an idiot if he let Cas get away. . . He didn't know if he could ever feel like the angel did, but he knew he wanted to. Cas deserved so much more, but if Dean was somehow what made Cas happy, then that's what Cas was gonna get. They had to talk. . . but the bathroom wasn't the place to do it with drying come sticking them together.

"C-Come on let's get cleaned up."

::

Later that night, Dean was suddenly faced with the problem of sleeping arrangements. There was only one bedroom in the house (two if you counted the storage room that didn't have a bed) and all the stores in the small little town closed by 7pm at the latest. He knew Castiel didn't need to sleep and Sam was probably tired from his trip. Sam wouldn't fit on that couch, Dean already knew that, and for some reason it felt rude to try to make him sleep there. He didn't really want to deal with Sam knowing Dean and Cas slept in the same bed regularly, either. Not yet. He pulled Cas aside, speaking in a hushed manner.

"You okay if I let Sam crash in the bed tonight?" He asked. Cas narrowed his eyes, body tensing and Dean raised a brow curiously.

"I didn't know you were going to let him sleep there." He said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, I'll sleep on the couch. It's no biggie." Cas looked at him disapprovingly.

"Dean you can't sleep on the couch." He complained "You're pregnant."

"One night's not gonna kill me, Cas."

"I won't allow it." Cas said firmly. Dean rolled his eyes. Would it be weird for a mid-thirty year old to be sleeping in the same bad with his late-twenty something brother?

"Fine. Not like I've never slept in the same bed with Sam before." He didn't know if the reasoning was directed at Cas or himself. Castiel narrowed his eyes.

"I prefer to be near you while you sleep. . ."

"I'll be fine, man. I'm a big boy now. I load my own shot-gun and everything." He clapped Cas on the shoulder. Cas relaxed a fraction, but Dean could still see the way his shoulders shifted slightly, showing just how perturbed by the idea Castiel really was. "Hey," Castiel looked up at Dean and the hunter cupped the angel's stubbly jaw, leaning in and kissing him gently. Cas sighed into the kiss and Dean pulled away slowly, looking into Cas's eyes. "Don't worry. We'll work on the guest room tomorrow." Cas sighed against Dean's lips, wrapping is arms around Dean's waist, resting their foreheads together.

"Is Sam going to be staying here permanently?"

"I-I don't really know yet. I guess we should probably talk about that too."

"Is there something else we have to talk about?" Dean bit his lip. Yes, yes, and yes.

"We'll worry about it later." He said, patting Cas's hands. "You've been worrying too much lately. Why don't you try to get some sleep on the couch? I'll make bacon tomorrow morning, okay? You like bacon."

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep." Cas said honestly. Dean frowned because he felt kind of bad, kicking Cas out of his bed. . . _their_ bed.

"You can check on me every couple hours if it makes you feel better, okay?" Cas nodded and tilted his jaw upward a bit, his lips pushed out just a fraction and his eyes shifted off to the side with a cranky look on his face. Dean realized he was being demanded a kiss and goddamn if his heart didn't melt just a tiny bit. Cas was just so damn cute sometimes. He was worried and possibly a little jealous at the idea of Sam sleeping in their bed when he could not. Dean grinned, cupping Cas's face and leaned in to kiss him gently. He pulled back and patted Cas's chest.

"Come on now. I gotta get to bed." Cas was literally pouting now and Dean laughed, pecking him on the lips again chastely and pulling back to look into his eyes. "Goodnight," He said softly. Cas's face flushed and he kissed Dean again.

"Goodnight, Dean."

As he walked away, he resisted the urge to look back at Cas because it felt too much like he was abandoning the angel. He quickened his pace and tried to squash the feeling of loneliness he felt with each step. He shook his head, laughing at how silly he was being. It wasn't like he needed to sleep with Cas. He'd got on just fine the last fifteen or so years sleeping alone. . . _Get it together man, it's just one night._

::

After they explained their sleeping arrangements, Sam agreed without a fuss and Dean was glad for that. Any mention of Dean sleeping on the couch made Cas's eyes go murderous so he really was glad he didn't have to fight Cas on that. He'd already agreed to let Cas worry about his health and he didn't plan on breaking his promise. It wasn't just himself he had to think about now, either.

He entered his room and shut the door behind him. Sam was already sitting on the bed, taking off his shoes. Dean dressed for bed quickly—boxers and t-shirt, because he was damn sure he wasn't gonna sleep half naked in bed with his brother.

It was okay to do that with Cas though.

"You have a really nice place here, Dean." Sam commented. "I wasn't really expecting it."

"Let me guess, you were thinking another cheap hotel that smells like everybody in town fucked in it at least once?" Sam shrugged. Dean snorted, pulling back the covers and sitting on the springy mattress. "Cas is surprisingly good at finding abandoned houses." He explained. "How'd you find this place anyways?"

"I could see it through the Grace network. I um. . . It wasn't that hard to track down after that." Both of them fell into a moment of silence at the mention of their little game of cat and mouse. "I thought Gabriel was keeping you posted though. I thought you would be gone by the time I got here." Dean threw his shirt in the basket before laying himself properly into the bed and throwing the covers over himself.

"Nah, Sam. . . I told you the reason I ran was this damn _instinct_ thing. It does things to my head." Sam was silent for a moment before speaking.

"Motherly instinct is hardly something to ignore." Dean glared at Sam, annoyed at his word choice.

"_Fatherly_ and look, Cas looked into your head and we know you're not here to hurt us. I just overreacted. You're my brother and I don't like it when we're separated."

"You sure? You got some extensive alone time with your baby daddy." Sam chided.

"You're really going to call him that?" Dean said, unamused.

Sam threw his arms under his head as he lay back. He frowned in thought. "I guess he's a bit more than that huh? You guys official then?" Dean blushed.

"N-Not entirely. . ." Sam sighed, turning to face his brother.

"Don't tell me you gave him The Speech." Dean looked at him oddly.

"The Speech?"

"You know, the one where you tell the girl it's nothing serious, just fucking? The inevitable 'speech' you give to every girl that gets a little too close?" Dean bit his lip, looking away. He felt Sam sit up in surprise.

"You did! Dean, really? This is your child and the father of it. You can't just give Cas The Speech!" Dean threw his head over and glared at his little brother.

"Yeah? Well I did, okay? I know it was a bad idea but I was scared, alright? I-I've been meaning to talk to Cas about it again." Dean looked up, eyebrows knitting together as he looked for a way to say this without sounding like Lamey McLame pants. "I. . . I'm working up the nerve to amend that." Sam looked at him in shock.

"For real? Like dating, boyfriend, hand holding, the whole she-bang?"

"Dude, I don't know!" Dean cringed at the thought. "I mean he is the father of my c-child, like you said. . ." Dean shook his head. "God that's still fucking weird. . . B-But yeah not only that but I kinda. . . Well we're kinda. . ." Sam's face split into a grin.

"You like him. . ." Dean sat up, glaring.

"Of course I do! He's Cas. . .He's like my best friend!"

"I mean you _like_ like him!" Dean blushed, gripping the sheets beneath him.

"What are you, four?!"

"Well I'm not going to say the other four letter word, Dean. I doubt you're adjusted enough to even think about that. No I imagine your attraction to him is growing exponentially though. I bet you guys fuck every day—"

"—Sam!" Sam giggled, waggling his eyebrows a bit.

"Once you accept that you like something, you like it with everything you got. Dick is apparently no exception."

"Fuck you, Sam. We don't even do it that much. . . I mean we weren't because we were trying to stay under the radar and Cas can't seem to control his grace when he comes—" Sam made a face.

"Dude. . . _So_ do not want to know about your angelic sex life . ."

"—And we may have done it today while you were downstairs with Gabriel—"

"Seriously?! I meant for you to take a cold shower or something. . ." Sam made a face and Dean grinned.

"Cas gets a little excited." Dean found that grossing Sammy out with stories of his gay sex life could be oodles of fun. "And he gets so jealous. . . That's why he tried to fuck me against the wall earlier. You were hanging all over me and touching my belly and he didn't like it."

"I'm still floored that you. . . that you let him. . ._top_." Dean looked thoughtfully, using his ability to gross out Sam as a means to squash down his embarrassment at the fact.

"Butt sex for me was kind of like finding a toy in a cereal box that didn't claim to have a toy." His brother's face was screwed up in confusion.

"So it's. . . Good? I heard it is, what with the prostate and everything, but I didn't really believe it." Dean looked at him seriously.

"Once you try it you'll never want to stop." He declared. "I'll buy you a dildo for Christmas." Sam grimaced.

"Don't bother Dean, Jesus. . ." Sam lay back down and turned over.

For the first time sleeping in the same bed in years, it wasn't as awkward as Dean thought it might have been. Sam's steady breathing remained unchanged and so familiar that it was almost comforting. He closed his eyes, intending on taking advantage of the warm feeling of nostalgia and falling asleep, but Sam wasn't done talking apparently.

"Hey Dean?" Sam said softly.

"What?"

"So you're really going to do it then? Relationship—Apple pie life?"

"I'm gonna be a dad, Sam." Dean explained. "Better than anyone, I know that this life ain't right for kids. I know that raising kids is easier with two parents. I'm not stupid. I can't be a hunter and a dad at the same time. We both know how that worked out for John." There was silent concession for a minute before Sam spoke again.

"So you're gonna give it up? The Life? For your kid?"

"Yeah, Sam. I'm gonna give it up."

"What if you can't? What if you're in too deep and it keeps coming for you?"

"Then I guess I just keep trying, don't I?"

"Then good for you, man. I hope everything works out. I really do."

So did Dean.

::

Castiel made his way down the hall, trying very hard to reign in these pesky emotions. As much as he disliked the idea of Sam sharing a bed with Dean after everything they'd already gone through, the angel had to respect that Sam was important to Dean and they needed to do some 'catching up' as humans say. He didn't have to like it, but he had to deal with it.

When he entered the living room, Gabriel was sitting on the couch.

"Brother." Castiel acknowledged, sitting in the chair next to him.

"Cassie." Gabriel grinned and Castiel couldn't help but notice the way it didn't reach his eyes.

"Must you call me that?" Castiel said, tiredly.

"You're cute so you deserve a cute nickname." Castiel rolled his eyes. At least Dean wouldn't call him that. Castiel watched his brother open a candy wrapper and pop the sweet into his mouth. His eyes were faraway and Castiel wondered just what he was seeing.

"Why didn't you contact us?" He asked.

"You're a big boy Cas. You don't need me checking in on you guys all the time." Castiel narrowed his eyes, not liking the elusive tone of voice Gabriel was using.

"You could have let us know what to expect with Sam, Gabriel. We had no idea he was going to be arriving today." Gabriel turned his bored expression to his little brother.

"If he was a danger, you know I'd let you know."

"If he hasn't been a danger, why then have we been avoiding him all this time?"

"He was a danger then, Cas. Trust me when I say I have the situation under control." Gabriel stretched, yawning, which was weird. Angels typically didn't need to yawn. Castiel stilled, his eyes catching a marking in swirling ink that was revealed as his shirt rode up. Castiel's mouth dropped open because he knew exactly what marking that was.

"That's—" Gabriel winked and before he knew it, the archangel was gone. Could that really have been what Castiel thought it was?

::

When Dean woke up, he was alone in the bed and he could smell bacon. He dragged his ass out of bed, painfully reminded that Sam kicks. They definitely needed to finish the guest bedroom today.

"Dean, there's something amiss." Castiel said appearing suddenly on top of Dean, his voice grave.

"Cas, I can't even speak English right now." Dean muttered, pulling the blanket back over his face.

"Well actually you just did. . . But Dean this is really important—" Dean shut him up with a kiss.

"Smell that? That's my breath because I need to brush my teeth. Let me at least get a shower and bacon in me before we start in on the drama." Cas furrowed his brow and stood down, following Dean out the bedroom and into the hallway.

As they reached the kitchen Dean was about to walk in when Cas pulled him back.

"You're not going to want to walk in there. Look." Dean narrowed his eyes and peeked his head into the kitchen, staying silent. What he saw there almost made him choke on his spit.

Sam was leaning back into Gabriel's embrace as he flipped bacon on the stove. Gabriel was softly kissing his neck and Dean's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull before he snapped back and pressed himself against the wall.

"Why is that dick hanging all over my brother?!" Dean hissed. "Why is he kissing his neck?!"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, Dean." Cas said, annoyed.

"What the fuck is going on?" He demanded. Castiel pulled him away, dragging him back down the hall and into his room.

"Last night after you went to bed I was talking to Gabriel. I asked him why he'd been so silent the past week or so and I think he tried to tell me. I saw a mark on his skin and if I'm correct about it's meaning, then we have trouble."

"A mark?" Castiel looked away, shoulders shifting uncomfortably.

"It was a bonding mark." He explained. Dean merely looked at him blankly.

"A what?" Castiel sighed, rolling his eyes. _Well excuse me for not knowing angel shit!_

"The mark signifies an oath." Castiel sat down on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the floor in confusion. "The oath of a guardian angel." Dean took a step towards Cas, shaking his head.

"I think I misheard you because I swear you just suggested that freakin' _Gabriel_ is Sam's guardian angel."

"I would have to check Sam's body for similar markings, but all signs—The touching and the attachment that hadn't been there previously. All of that can be attributed to the initiation of such a bond."

"Why would Gabriel want to be my brother's guardian angel? Isn't he like one of the super important ones, and an archangel at that?" Castiel sighed.

"Yes. It's highly unusual for an archangel, and one of such status to take on a charge—Let alone such a. . . damaged one." Dean rolled his eyes. Yeah yeah, he knew his brother was created to be the vessel of Lucifer, had been addicted to demon blood and he may or may not be a chicken short of the coup. . . "I would have to investigate their relationship further but I believe we need to be more cautious, Dean. Something about all of this doesn't smell right and I believe we may be in danger."

"You looked into Sam's mind yourself, right? He's harmless."

"So it seems." Dean didn't like the unconvinced way Cas said it and that flight response was rising up in Dean again but he ignored it. He had to give Sam the benefit of the doubt here. He was his brother and he truly wanted his kid to grow up knowing its uncle.

"S-So this bond thing. . . How does that even happen? I thought guardian angels were assigned or some shit."

"Typically yes, but an angel can become bonded to any human at their own will. It's not usually perceived as a good idea because a contract like that—there are several forms, but one in particular is very binding—In a bond like that, the angel is basically swearing fealty to the human. They are sworn to obey, to love and to protect in all matters. The angel cannot speak against his charge, reveal their secrets, or do anything that may be against the human's favor." Castiel looked away, thinking for a moment before speaking again. "If I had seen correctly, that mark was an indicator of a bond like this. It's very concerning."

"So wait, Gabriel is sworn to do Sam's bidding? C-Can something like that be reversed?" Castiel looked up at Dean then, his face grave as he spoke one word.

"No. The arrangement can only be annulled by death. In a way it is the strongest form of protection for the angel or the human involved. There are very few things aside from God himself that could kill a pair like this. Their souls are literally bonded and cannot end without the other ending as well. The master cannot be killed while the angel lives. The master is the only one who can kill the angel, but if the angel dies, the master will die. If the angel defies his oath and goes against his master, the angel will be punished. This is the most binding contract anybody could put themselves under; human or angel. I can't imagine why Gabriel would sacrifice himself like that. For what purpose does this serve Sam? Why would he need such a strong protection?"

"So I can't kill him." Dean's voice was quieter than it should have been. Panic was overtaking him and he felt anxious and suddenly the nausea that had subsided was grasping him in full force. "Sam's planning something. . . T-This isn't good Cas. . . Cas I can't. . . I can't let him hurt—" Cas stood up, stepping close and cupping Dean's jaw gently.

"I won't let anyone hurt you or the baby. I will investigate further but for now, I don't think Sam is a threat. Gabriel is on our side, Dean."

"And how do you know that?" Dean demanded. "Before I knew him as an angel, I knew him as the trickster! He's a being of deception and lies and I'm not trusting a single thing that comes out of his sugar coated mouth." Dean said, jaw set. "What if their plan was to get us to trust them and then attack when we've got our guard down, huh?" Dean shook his head. "No. . . No I can't trust them. I just can't—" Cas tilted his head, his face soft and understanding and he stroked the side of Dean's face, pulling him closer with his other hand.

"Then trust _me_. I will take care of this." Dean's eyes connected with Cas's and they stayed like that for a moment. Dean shivered in the familiar sensation of Cas's penetrating gaze.

"What are you looking at?" He wondered for the first time.

"Your soul. It's so passionate, Dean." Cas smiled. "It's so driven. Whenever you decide to fight for something, it wants to put everything into that cause whether it's a bull-headed decision or not." Dean glared, but stayed quiet. "It's like a cheerleader. It wants you to go all out and it almost seems upset that you're conceding to my point. I wish I could apologize to it." Dean blushed, looking away because he couldn't believe Cas was standing there describing his overzealous soul of all things.

"Do you. . . look at it a lot?" Dean swore Cas was blushing.

"I-It's hard not to. It's always so bright. It's always calling out to me because it knows I see it. It remembers me pulling it out of hell and it's," Cas looked at Dean, seeing something beyond and he flushed. ". . . Well it's definitely taken a liking to me." Dean snorted.

"Wait, are you saying my soul _flirts_ with you?" Cas narrowed his eyes, assessing the statement before responding.

"I—Yes I suppose you could say that." Cas looked embarrassed at the idea. "My Grace responds to its energy and it's hard to control sometimes. . ." Cas coughed, definitely blushing now. Wait, so souls could interact with an angel's Grace?

"What exactly does your Grace want to do to my soul, huh?" Dean waggled his eyebrows and suddenly Cas looked horrified, swallowing so hard that his Adam's apple bobbed a few good inches along his neck.

"I sense that breakfast is ready, and you really need to eat, Dean." Cas disappeared and Dean's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. If that wasn't an avoidance tactic, Dean didn't know what was. Dean was almost one hundred percent certain his soul wanted to have kinky Grace sex and that was kind of unsettling to think about. It was weird enough thinking of his soul as a separate entity with needs and feelings, but it was nice to know that his soul was just as much of a flirt as he was.

::

Breakfast with Sam and Gabriel was tense. Perhaps it was one sided, though. Sam and Gabriel didn't seem to know that Dean had seen them basically cuddling while Sam was cooking. Dean shuddered, still not able to wrap his mind around it. Was this what it was like for Sam knowing that Dean was fucking Cas? Were Sam and Gabriel fucking? No. Sam didn't seem to know anything about butt-sex so. . . But what if Sam was topping? That was completely possible. . . Ugh this was crazy. He couldn't even imagine.

No, he absolutely did not want to imagine.

"Dean are you okay? You look a bit green. . . Are you still getting morning sickness?" Sam asked, real concern coloring his expression.

"Y-Yeah sometimes. . . It's not often now, though." It wasn't a sickness of the morning kind right _now_, however.

Dean pushed his eggs around his plate, still feeling extremely uncomfortable with this whole situation. Castiel was watching Sam intently and Dean wondered what was going through his head. Their eyes connected and Cas gave him a worried expression that did not bode well with Dean. It seemed like things were going to get complicated after all.

"So have you thought of names yet?" Sam asked, taking a bite of his bacon. Dean nearly jumped out of his skin at the question that came out of _nowhere_.

"U-Um no not really. I don't even know the gender."

"That could totally change dude." Gabriel chimed in. "Just say the word."

"Dean and I decided we will wait to find out." Castiel said, sitting down next to Dean. Dean resisted the temptation to lean into him. He felt so much safer with Cas next to him. He also didn't mind the tone of finality in the angel's voice. It gave him chills thinking of Cas enforcing their decisions and not taking any shit. The urge to take his hand was overwhelming and Dean had to curl his fingers in on themselves to quell it.

Sam looked at the pair curiously before smiling.

"Well, you can still plan names. What if it's a girl?" Dean looked to Cas, mouth opening slightly in question because no, they hadn't even talked about this. Castiel shrugged.

"I've always liked the name Veronica." Dean offered, weakly.

"Dean, that sounds like a pornstar name." Sam commented, looking worried. Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm wondering if the name Mary would be appropriate." Cas commented. "Either her middle name or first. It would depend on what you want Dean." Cas said. "Mary was a great woman. We should continue her name." Dean smiled at Cas. He hadn't even thought of that, even though he and Sam had been named after their grandparents.

"If it's a boy we should name him after Bobby, right?" Dean said, feeling like he really didn't have a choice there. Bobby deserved to have Dean's first born son named after him. He earned that place. Castiel smiled and put his hand on Dean's leg discreetly under the table. "Robert but Bobby for short."

"I like that." Cas said, a smile on his face.

"Bobby John?" Sam asked.

"No." Sam blinked in surprise and Dean could feel the heavy gaze coming from Cas and his ears burned. He wasn't going to name his kid after John. "Look I don't want to think about baby names right now. I've barely finished my first trimester and I'm still miles away from all that. "So Sam," He said, desperate to change the subject. He didn't need Sam's knowing eyes or Cas's meaningful looks. He didn't want sympathy. "I'm backing out of the hunting business for a while. What are you gonna do?"

"Well, I'll be staying here, of course." Sam said, completely serious and taking a bite of his bacon.

Dean's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he looked at Cas who was all but glaring at Sam now.

"O-Of course." Dean repeated nervously, hoping it seemed like agreement. Cas shot him a look and Dean shook his head. "Um. . . Sam look it's not like I don't want you here, but this place ain't too big you know?"

"That can easily be fixed. Gabriel is an archangel. I'm sure making a few rooms wouldn't be too hard for you, would it?"

Gabriel smiled at Sam, and to Dean's horror, took his brother's hand in his own.

"It's already done. I've made the guest bedroom, a bathroom and a study for you. Everything is furnished to your needs." Dean's jaw dropped and Cas was wearing a similar, mortified expression. Dean laughed nervously.

"Right, but I don't know if—"

"It's fine, Dean." Sam insisted. He smiled and there was absolutely no room for argument in his tone of voice. Something smelled just this side of fucked the hell up and Dean was ready to get the fuck out of here. "I'm going to protect you, okay? I'm going to be an uncle and there's nothing more important than you delivering a healthy baby." Dean saw Sam's eyes sparkle and that worried pit formed in his stomach once again, even more violently than before. Dean stood up, turning his back to hide his panicked expression. He laughed.

"T-That's great Sammy. I-I'm just going to go take a shower okay?" Dean sent a loaded look at Cas before quickly exiting the kitchen.

::

He was in the shower, standing under the scalding hot water with the door locked when he heard Cas's voice.

"Dean."

"Cas we gotta leave."

"I know, Dean." Dean clenched his jaw, balling his fists and resisting the urge to punch the wall in front of him. He'd hoped Cas would say something different like 'No, there's no reason to leave. Sam is safe. There's nothing wrong'. But Cas wouldn't say it unless there was real danger here.

"I don't know what's wrong with him, Cas. There's something way off and now this thing with Gabriel? Are you kidding me? He's my brother but I can't trust him as far as I can throw him. That's fucked up, right?" A flutter of wings before Dean felt warmth press against him from behind, strong arms wrapping around him and soft lips nuzzling the back of his neck.

"I understand, Dean. It's not you're fault. We both love Sam but," Dean closed his eyes and sighed as Cas pressed his hands against the slight swell of his belly. The swell that seemed to get bigger every day. "We have more than us to think about now." Dean slumped in Cas's embrace, already drained at the thought of running again.

"Is flying going to be safe for the baby at this stage?"

"It should be fine."

"I'm tired of this Cas. . . He's going to keep looking for us. He's going to keep finding us. We can't run forever, man."

"What else should we do?" Dean felt a lump form at his throat because really what? What exactly was Dean proposing that they do now? If Sam was a monster and a threat to their safety, he knew exactly what he would do in that case.

Sam wasn't a monster. It wasn't so easy a decision.

"I don't know. I'm just so tired of this. . ."

"We'll think of something. You don't need to think like that Dean."

"Don't I?" Dean turned in Cas's embrace, wrapping his arms around the angel's neck, feeling the dread rise up inside because for some reason he knew how all this was going to end. "Sam's quickly turning into one of those things I can't ignore, Cas. He's dangerous, he's a threat to our child and. . . And just because he's my brother doesn't mean he gets a free pass, you know? Family doesn't matter in the job description, o really, shouldn't I be thinking about it?" Castiel frowned, eyebrows drawing together in concern.

"No." Dean shook his head, but Cas cupped the sides of his face, forcing Dean to look into his deep blue eyes. "I will protect you. I promised you that and I intend to keep that promise. I will never make you make a decision like that." Dean sighed, leaning in and pressing their lips together before speaking.

"You're kind of wonderful, Cas." Castiel smiled, kissing Dean then. Dean laughed, smoothing his hands down Castiel's sopping wet trench coat. "What did I say about clothes and water?" Castiel looked down, raising a brow in surprise.

"Strange. . . I didn't even think to take it off. I just wanted to hold you." Dean rolled his eyes, heart dancing despite the ridiculousness of it all. It was still hard comprehending Cas actually being in _love_ with him and little things like this still took him by surprise.

He couldn't wipe off the smile on his face. Dean bit his lip, turning away and trying to hide the persistent grin.

"Okay enough of that, lemme finish up here so we can get this show on the road."

"Since you have such a difficult time with it, and since I'm here I could wash your back." Cas offered. Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously before nodding and turning around. He felt Cas's hands and a soft cloth on his back then. Cas wiped Dean's back with it, massaging the muscles there as he worked. Dean sighed, leaning into his touch.

"I love your hands." Dean admitted. Castiel chuckled.

"Now if only I could get you to feel the same about the rest of me." Dean sighed, turning to face Cas and taking his hand.

"Cas. . ."

"Don't worry about it, Dean." Dean shook his head.

"No because that's not right. You know you mean the world to me, right? I don't say it a lot but damn, Cas you are in my top three favorite people in this entire world and I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I know you care for me in that sense, Dean but the kind of love I'm talking about is a bit different. . ."

"I know. . ." Dean felt his face heat up, that warm feeling in his chest swelling to almost unmanageable levels, almost irritably as if to say _Well what are you waiting for?_. Dean realized then that this feeling just may have been the very thing Cas wanted from him but it was just too strange, too ambiguous at this point and he didn't want to go giving Cas false hope. He took the angel's face in his hands, sending him a loaded look. "I'm sorry I can't tell you what you want to hear, Cas, but you know better than anyone how difficult it is for me to. . . feel like that." Castiel smiled.

"Just being here with you is more than I've ever hoped to have." Dean drew his eyebrows together and smiled, the gesture not quite reaching his eyes. Cas deserved more. . . Deserved so much more than these half-assed feelings but Dean couldn't honestly tell Cas he was in love with him. Dean wouldn't know love if it bit him in the ass. He suspected the feeling he got in his chest sometimes—The strong one that overwhelmed him and sometimes triggered that weird power of his—that feeling might have been related but he wasn't sure. It could have been an elaborate infatuation for all he knew.

What if he admitted to loving Cas and then the feeling disappeared the moment some pretty thing walked by? If Cas sensed that, it would break his heart. Dean shook his head. No. If he was going to admit something like that, he was going to be damn certain it was the real deal. Cas deserved some certainty in his life for once.

And he would have it.

Once Dean worked up the courage to tell Cas he wanted to be exclusive, that would be one thing Cas could always count on. Dean wasn't gonna be leaving him anytime soon.

Dean jumped, feeling that weird fluttering coming from his belly again and he grinned. His baby. . .

"Cas! Cas here," Dean took his hand and pressed it to his belly on the place where he felt it.

"What am I feeling, Dean?"

"The baby! It's moving!"

"I can't feel anything. . ."

"Just wait. . ." It was a few moments before Dean felt the fluttering again. "See! There!"

"I still don't feel anything. . ." Dean let out a frustrated noise, pulling Cas closer, pressing his hand more firmly against his abdomen. It was almost a minute before it moved again and it felt a whole lot stronger this time. Dean jumped and Cas's eyes widened. "I felt that!"

"See?!" Dean was grinning from ear to ear now and there was fluttering in his stomach not just from the baby. Cas was grinning and he pressed both his hands to Dean's belly, kneeling down onto the tub floor and pressing his ear against it. Dean laughed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to hear its movements."

"Can you hear it?"

"Yes."

"Shit. . . Really!? What's it like?"

"It seems to be rolling. . . It's." Dean noticed the red tint on Castiel's face. "Adorable."

"Shit. . ." Dean dropped to his knees then, wrapping his arms around Cas and kissing him softly before pulling back and looking deep into the angel's blue eyes.

"That's your baby, Cas." Cas grinned widely, smiling his gummy smile.

"I can't believe I could create something from myself. . . I never imagined I'd ever be able to do something like that. I never knew I'd ever _want_ something like this." Cas looked lost in wonder and Dean cupped his face, smiling.

"You did, though. You're a daddy, Cas." Castiel grinned, his face squished between Dean's fingers and he looked ridiculous but so freaking cute.

"You're a daddy too." Dean shook his head, laughing.

"It's insane. I mean I've always kinda. . . I mean I've imagined it before but. . . I never thought I'd actually want it." Castiel cupped Dean's face, smiling softly.

"You're going to be a wonderful father, Dean.

The hunter bit his lip, trying in vain to contain his excitement because the fact that this was really happening used to be a scary thought. Now, however, it was exciting and Dean couldn't believe how just the slightest movement of the baby inside of him could change his outlook so drastically.

He never wanted anything more than he wanted this baby right now.

After their shower, Castiel put up a privacy ward around them so they could discuss their next move. He didn't think it would hold up if Gabriel really wanted to listen, but he was counting on the other angel being on their side. Dean wasn't so trusting, but he didn't really have any other choice.

They would leave at night. They couldn't take anything with them, lest they be tracked and weighed down. Castiel gave Dean a tracfone—untraceable thanks to his Grace and said that it can only call the other one. If things went south, that would be how Dean should contact him.

Dean didn't really like the idea that Cas even had to have a plan B.

All he knew was that they needed to stay together at all costs.

::

Dean knew that they had to be careful. He wasn't one hundred percent certain about Gabriel but Cas seemed to trust him and Dean trusted Castiel enough to believe him.

Even so, they decided they wouldn't let Gabriel know of any plans they might have, lest he be punished by the bond he'd formed with Sam. Castiel said that it would be some sort of hideous punishment that the bond saw fit to give him if Gabriel disobeyed. Mercy would not be in the equation.

As much as Dean kind of loathed Gabriel, he didn't want the guy to suffer _too_, really. The annoying archangel had his good points and Dean wasn't the type to forget all the things he'd done for them.

So they were discreet.

They created a series of signals for different things—'We need to talk', 'beware', 'Get the fuck out of here'—Pretty much the basics. The trick was acting normal around Sam and Gabriel without being suspicious. Dean knew he could be a damn good actor if he wanted to be, but it was hard when Sam had literally spent every waking moment with Dean for years and knew just when Dean was up to something.

"You look a little tense, Dean." Sam said in concern the next day. Dean shrugged, trying not to seem nervous. He had to distract Sam while Cas made certain their escape would be undetectable.

"Eh, it's all sorts of aches and pains when you're pregnant dude. I'm just a little stiff." Sam smirked.

"I bet _Cas_ wouldn't mind giving you a massage." He said teasingly. Dean flushed, looking away.

"Probably," Sam's eyebrows snapped up.

"You let him give you massages?" Dean shifted in his seat, thinking it was okay to look a bit nervous now.

"D-Dude, He just _notices_ whenever I'm sore." Sam was giving him a definite _look_ now and Dean rolled his eyes. "His hands are like magic, okay?" He defended. "I like it." Sam smiled.

"Dean, I'm really happy for you." Dean grimaced.

"Oh please Sam I don't need your sappy bullshit today. . ." Sam scooted closer to him, smiling.

"The way your eyes light up when you talk about Cas, dude. I just can't get over how my big brother's finally found a little bit of happiness." Dean smiled tightly and jumped when he felt his pocket buzz. That was the signal.

"Yeah dude. . . Uh hey I'm gonna go get dinner started. Still want stir fry?"

"Let me help. There's a lot of vegetables to cut." Dean shook his head.

"Uh, no that's okay I did most of the preparing earlier. . . Cooking is therapeutic to me, man." Dean quickly exited the room, grabbing his bag that was hidden in a cubby next to the back door. When he went to open it, he couldn't. The door was locked—

—But the lock wasn't locked. He tugged but the door wouldn't give. _Shit_.

"Going somewhere?" Sam asked, his face hard set and cranky. Dean chuckled nervously, not liking the way he got goosebumps looking at his brother.

"I-I was just gonna go check the perimeter—"

"Gabriel already checked it thirty minutes ago. Why are you lying to me, Dean? Really I thought we'd worked this out."

"Sam, you're not right. There's something up with you man. . . I just can't. . ."

"You don't trust me."

"That's not—"

"Lucifer was right. You really are willing to throw away our entire relationship just for that. . . that _thing_ in your belly." Dean grit his teeth, fear rising inside and he gripped the handle tightly, not liking the way Sam was advancing on him.

"What? Sam, no! I don't want that at all, man. . .I—" Sam reached out and pinned Dean to the door. Dean shut his eyes and prayed to Cas.

"Lucifer told me all about nephilim, Dean. What they did to the humans? You really think you can just _raise_ something like that?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Dean. . . I'm trying to protect you here. Full nephilim are dangerous and there has never been a nephilim fed off of Grace before. . . This birth could kill you and everybody with it if we don't control it. I have knowledge, Dean. We can't kill it, but I know how to control it."

"Sam—"

"No, Dean. You're going to be sorely disappointed if you think you can raise this thing like any normal child. This thing can and will _destroy_ you.

"You have no possible way of knowing that!" Sam raised a brow.

"Don't I? Remember when you froze the entire wedding hall when we were trapped in fairytale land? Imagine it's power when it's an adolescent, or an adult!?"

"You have no fucking idea what it's like." Dean shook his head, placing a hand on his belly. "There is nothing but good inside of this kid, Sam. I feel it every fucking day."

"It's an intelligent being even as an infant, Dean." Sam explained. "It's using you to grow itself, and then when it's capable, it will kill you. You need to let me help you. If controlled right, we could even use this thing to win the war against the leviathans."

"Over my dead fucking body." Dean shook his head in awe. "You really think that listening to Lucifer of all people is a good idea?" Dean snorted in dry amusement. "I thought _I_ was supposed to be the slow one. Or maybe all that archangel's spunk you swallow nowadays is fucking up your thought process—" Sam narrowed his eyes and grabbed Dean by the collar, teeth gnashing in anger. Dean raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Is that what that talk was all about? Wanted your own angel so you're gonna let Gabriel do the deed?" Sam shook his head, face screwed up in anger.

"_No!_ Jesus. . ." He hesitated, flushing slightly. "It's not _like_ that, okay?!" It was not two seconds before there was a loud _boom_ and Sam was on the ground. Dean looked up to see Cas standing there, fist raised. Cas looked at Dean worriedly before suddenly he was knocked to the ground by—Gabriel? Dean narrowed his eyes and glared.

"You sonofa—" Dean stepped forward, ready to knock Gabriel into next week when he heard Castiel shout.

"Dean wait!"

"Fuck that, Cas. He's a traitor!"

"Dean _please_ just look!" Dean stopped and watched as Gabriel fell to his knees, gripping his side tightly. He looked like he was in pain and Dean was confused.

"Castiel. Dean. Just go! Hurry. I can't—" Gabriel screamed as the skin around his wrists were torn open, blood chains springing out of them and stabbing into the floor beneath. A third chain ripped out of his neck and brought him down to the floor in front of Sam. Gabriel looked up at them, one eye closed in a wince but a giant grin on his face. "Go you idiots, before I'm compelled to try and kill you again." Dean tried the door, finding it still locked.

"It's still locked!" Dean looked desperately at Cas who nodded to Gabriel. He turned to Dean.

"We need to turn to Plan B." Dean shook his head violently, making himself dizzy.

"No no _no_, Cas. That's the fucking plan I said we were _not_ using!"

"Dean we have no other choice. Gabriel's power is bound, and unless we banish him, it's going to stay that way. We won't be able to leave and Sam will be awake soon. If Gabriel intervenes even one more time, we will be trapped and Gabriel would _wish_ he could die. At least this way, we'll be able to leave and then find each other. We have to _go_, Dean." Dean shook his head, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I don't want. . . I _can't_ to be without you, Cas! It's not safe. . . I can't fight like this. I mean what if I—" Castiel took his shoulders, forcing Dean to look up.

"You'll be okay. I promise, Dean. I will call you the moment I materialize." Dean felt his eyes burn because goddamn it. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

"You guys gotta go. _Now_" Gabriel stressed, eyes glowing white. Dean could see the horrible image of something moving under the clothes on his back, ripping and tearing the fabric to shreds. Castiel nodded and leaned forward, kissing Dean gently.

"I love you." He whispered before pulling away and ripping the painting off the kitchen wall. "Close your eyes Dean, and leave the moment Gabriel is gone!" He revealed a banishing sigil and, once Dean's eyes were clenched shut, wasted no time in slapping his hand on it, engulfing the room in a blinding white light. Dean heard two screams and then the light in front of his eyelids was gone. Dean grabbed his bag and tried the door again, finding it open now. He sighed and stepped out onto the threshold and he was about to leave when he heard his name.

"D-Dean!" He looked back, seeing Sam reach out for him. Dean sucked in a breath and shook his head, his voice full of so much regret.

"Sorry Sammy."

And then he ran. The night was dark and the forest was quiet. His foot falls were heard as large echoes and, for the first time in his life, Dean worried about having a run-in with the wildlife. He was unarmed and not very threatening at all being pregnant. He supposed the smart thing to do would be to stop for multiple reasons. He needed to be quiet, and he couldn't do it in this condition.

His back was screaming and he was so frustrated with himself. His body had never been so limited and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to escape. Sam would regain complete consciousness and then he would run fast with his freakishly long legs and catch up.

Why wasn't Cas calling him yet? Wasn't angel banishing supposed to be an instant thing? Cas would end up somewhere remote—The middle of the ocean perhaps—

Oh shit. What if he didn't have service where he landed? Dean supposed he could fly—-But wait what if he took a hit to his mojo? Goddamn it they should have thought this through! Why hadn't Dean thought to ask these questions _before_ he allowed Cas to fucking _banish_ himself?

Dean stopped, leaning heavily against a tree. He needed to rest damn it.

"Fuck this shit. Goddamn it, Cas." He muttered to himself. He glared at his persistently silent phone before pressing the solitary contact inside and dialing.

It rang four times before it went to voicemail and Dean ground his teeth, feeling tears prickling the corners of his eyes. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to fucking _cry_. He stood up, not _crying_ and continued, slower, more quietly.

He couldn't fucking give up now. Damn Cas for leaving this their only option, but he had to make it work. His belly was hard beneath his touch and he gasped when he felt that warm familiar Grace from it once again.

"That's right, baby. I'm gonna make sure we get outta this mess. Don't worry. We'll find your daddy I promise."

What he hadn't anticipated was to come face to face with glowing yellow eyes. Instantly terror arose in him, rooted deep from within. He knew where that fear came from and it was irrational. These were not the same eyes that he'd been raised to hate.

It was that nephilim he'd met in the forest before. The one that he'd had a staring contest with and won. The child stood before him, the same expression on his face and features illuminated where the moonlight bled through the trees.

"Look kid. I'm in a bit of a hurry here so if you don't mind—"

"Come with me, Dean Winchester." So he spoke English, then? Well that was nice to know.

"Um. . . Yeah not gonna happen. I gotta go—" The child held out his hand.

"It's not safe for you, here. There are creatures in this forest that want to harm you and your child. I'm here to take you to my people. I was sent by the archangel. He told me to tell you '2348' and you'd understand.' Dean frowned, glaring at the child because of _course_ he'd understand.

"Alright so you were sent by Gabriel. I still don't really trust that guy. . ."

"Do you have any other choice?" He said, irritably. Dean grit his teeth before reluctantly taking the child's hand.

"I swear to God if you fuck me over—Ah!" The child grabbed him around the middle and took flight, shooting upwards into the quiet, night sky.


End file.
